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2005: the flare-loving fag-free club

337 replies

charliecat · 02/01/2005 18:06

Here we go girls

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charliecat · 06/02/2005 15:23

Just reread your post FG...must have ran past it the last time...hope you are feeling better and calmed and less like a dragon. Cryings goooooooooooooooooooodddddddd. Its the bodys way of reliving stress.
Hope DH had a good birthday....am frantically trying to think of something romantic/sexy that you could do with a telescope but sorry words fail me
Except of course your anus which youve already covered....rereading the post again the only bit I must have read id the Ed bit...duh..fuzzy brain on.
Am looking for another inspiring post for us from whyquit.com should be back soon with it.

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charliecat · 06/02/2005 15:29

Maybe I am different? Maybe I can take a cigarette and not get hooked? Maybe the cigarette will make me so sick I will never want to take a cigarette again? Maybe I was never addicted anyway? Maybe I will just smoke for a little while and quit again when things are better? Maybe, maybe, maybe . . .?

Do you ever find that you are asking yourself these questions? If so, and the suspense of the answer is just killing you, I thought I would suggest two ways of finally putting these unresolved questions to rest. First, take a cigarette. This is a really effective way of realizing the potential for relapse by reinforcement of the nicotine addiction. And the cost for this valuable lesson is simply returning to the deadly, expensive, socially unacceptable habit and addiction to cigarettes. You can then either smoke until it cripples and kills you, or "just" quit again. Remember the last time? Smoke or quit, fun choice isn't it?

Of course there is another way of answering those perplexing questions of "maybe". Find a smoker who once quit smoking for a substantial period of time, say one year or longer, and then relapsed. Ask him how he liked not smoking. Ask him how he now likes smoking. Then ask the most important question, how did he return to smoking?

Let me venture a guess as to the answers to these three questions. "Not smoking was great. I hardly thought of cigarettes any more. I felt healthier, happier, even calmer. Cigarettes smelled repulsive. The thought of smoking at my old level was disgusting." To the second question, how do you now like smoking, the response will typically be, "I hate it, I smoke as much or even more than I did before. I feel more nervous, don't have as much energy, and generally feel like a fool when smoking in public. I sure wish I could quit again." The answer to the third and most important question of how did he return to smoking is almost always the same, "I took a cigarette."

It may have happened under stress, at a party, or at home alone with nothing special going on. Whatever the cause, the end result was the same--addiction to nicotine. Prior to taking the cigarette, he probably asked himself the same questions of "maybe". He found his answer. Your answer is the same. Learn from others' mistakes and not your own. Your smoking friend is stuck in the grips of a powerful and deadly addiction. Maybe he will get the chance and strength again to quit smoking, maybe he will smoke until it kills him.

You have successfully broken free of the nicotine addiction. While your smoking may have been a potential threat to your life in the past, now your risks are dropping down to that of a person who never smoked. As long as you stay off of cigarettes, you never will have to worry about the physical, psychological, social and economical risks of smoking again as long as you follow one simple practice...NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Here it is here too if you click on the joels library at the bottom of the page theres tons more pages!

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charliecat · 06/02/2005 15:34

Did you hear about the lady who went on two diets simultaneously to lose weight? Doing both at once she ate enough food to satisfy her appetite and figured she would lose weight twice as fast.

This humorous story illustrates a very serious point. Human nature dictates that we look for the easiest and least painful route to make necessary changes. Unfortunately, what often appears to be the easiest technique may not always be the best. If this lady really relied on this twisted logic, she would not only fail in losing weight, but would probably end up weighing more than before she started her diets. And while this story may seem farfetched, many people who try to follow medically unproven and controversial weight control programs often end up with this very dilemma.

But weight control is not the only situation where people rely on unsuccessful techniques. Cigarette smoking is another problem for which people try to find different solutions. People are always looking for new and easy ways to quit smoking. Many behavioral scientists believed that smoking is only a learned pattern. If this were so, there would be many different approaches available to quit. Behavior modification techniques such as reducing the amount of or exposure to a substance or situation, aversion therapy, hypnosis, acupuncture, record keeping, desensitization and countless other approaches have been used for years to help people unlearn unwanted behavior patterns.

But cigarette smoking is not simply a learned behavior or bad habit. It is more complex, more powerful, and worst of all more deadly than most bad habits. Cigarette smoking is an addiction. This fact becomes quite evident the first day of every smoking clinic. Just about every person in the group can relate some story which demonstrates that to some degree he or she is controlled by cigarettes. Some have gone so far as to rummage garbage cans in the middle of the night in search of cigarettes. Others take butts out of dirty ashtrays. Still others sneak cigarettes while hospitalized from smoking-related illnesses even though smoking is expressly forbidden by their physician. After hearing of these dramatic experiences, few people argue the point that the addiction to cigarettes exerts tremendous control over the smoker.

Addiction does not respond to cut-down approaches. Addiction does not lend itself to controlled use of the substance. If people try to treat an addiction as a bad habit, they will lose to the addiction. If, on the other hand, they treat an addiction as an addiction, they stand a good chance of beating it. Once a person is addicted to a substance, he must totally avoid any use of that substance or else relapse into a full- fledged drug dependency. This holds true for alcohol, heroin, nicotine, and a host of other drugs.

As far as nicotine is concerned, if the smoker quits cold he will overcome the strongest stages of withdrawal within 72 hours. After two weeks, physical withdrawal ceases. Then, once it is understood that any amount of nicotine administered in any manner will reinforce his dependence, he has all the ammunition he needs to overcome the occasional desire. He must always base the decision of whether or not he should smoke a cigarette on his true options. He has the choice of smoking none or smoking everything. There is no in between. Based on that, his choice is clear - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

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mammya · 06/02/2005 16:58

Hello my dear non-smoking friends!
Sorry I haven't been posting much on this thread lately. Not because I have been smoking mind! Although that's not entirely true, as I've had 2 fags since my last post. My smoking friend came to visit and I couldn't resist. Afterwards I felt so stupid...
Charliecat I love those things you post they are really inspirational and so true. I just have to keep telling myself "never take another puff!".

charliecat · 06/02/2005 17:05

Hi mammya you have to resist...dont have a third! How long are you now? Dont leave it so long next time!

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mammya · 06/02/2005 17:36

Hi CC, it's funny you should ask, I've just realised my silkquit counter has disappeared from my desktop, I must have accidentally closed it a couple of days ago. I can't seem to put it back on the desktop, even though it's still on my hard drive.

charliecat · 06/02/2005 18:03

Hmmm i think if you go back to the counter place and download it again or at least click on the thingy it boots it back up with your original details on it...I think that as im sure I was gutted to see where I was and I wasnt as id had a fag.
here

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charliecat · 06/02/2005 18:09

Need a halo here 2 months one week 2 days and 7 hours and 23mins. Cigarettes not smoked 2460.

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charliecat · 06/02/2005 18:14

Must confess to a few empty moments missing dp where Ive thought I could just fill this emptyness with a fag right now....but thankfully common sense has kicked in and as soon as ive thought that ive thought Yeah Right...not even gonna goooooooooooooooo there. And now I know the feeling vanishes as quickly as it appeared. After seeing my counter I now know why I havent had any!

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Twink · 06/02/2005 18:25

CC, that's great, well done you !

I can officially now claim that I've been not smoking for my longest 'given up' stage ever now, I've finally broken the 6 year thing and will NEVER EVER screw it up again !

charliecat · 06/02/2005 18:37

Excellent Twink...If only I could stand in your shoes I will one day! Its quite scary knowing if you dont stay on the ball you could end up back at square 1 isnt it? Knowing you have been daft enough before...Well as long as we dont ever have another puff we will be ok.
Had my mum saying her lungs were in great condition and another Very wrinkly 50 something year old smoker saying she didnt know what all the fuss was about, cigarettes arent that bad....I thought...Ok you tell yourself that...but jeesus look in the mirror and thats what effect its had on the outside.

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fionagib · 07/02/2005 12:33

well done everyone, esp mm for getting back on the quit-van again, good for you hon!!!! and cc your fags not smoked total is amazing.

feeling much better, had a lovely night out with dh for his b'day, had tons and tons of fags but IT WAS ONLY A DREAM!!!! has anyone else had smoking dreams???

so am still clean, feeling v good and positive, hope everyone's in good spirits today xxxxxxxx

charliecat · 07/02/2005 16:43

Oh yeah...smoking dreams are NOT good....I wake up thinking ive fell back in the ashtray and its a huge relief to find i havent really.
So pleased your feeling good and positive FG, have you been out running or are you just generally feeling better(another chapter written or something?)

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fee77 · 07/02/2005 21:44

Hi everyone - sounds like we are all doing really well. I have given up on the patches - i kept forgetting to put them on! Is that a good thing? I haven't really thought about smoking, but tonight i am raiding cupboards to find food - time of the month i think,(or worms!!)
When do you stop being a smoker trying to give up and become a non-smoker?
I walked passed someone smoking yesterday and thought a) that stinks and b)that looks awful. I am soooo high and mighty now!

fionagib · 07/02/2005 21:46

yes I spose work is going better, also am feeling more and more distant from fags, as you must be too, with your night out with all those chuffing friends and them trying to tempt you!

Must admit tho was eyeing dh's packet (FAG packet) and last night I just had to go up and have a bath to get away from the silk cut box so guess am not totally cured!! Just gotta be careful, & aware of temptations, have fallen off wagon too many times. Last night, like many nights, have thought of what you have said cc - that the next day you feel so bloody crap for cracking, it just isn't workth it (AND it doesn't make anything better).

How's everyone else doing? mm, are you managing okay? Using lozenges? YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

fionagib · 07/02/2005 21:50

Fee77 have you thought about using lozenges instead of just having a small packet of them around the house in case you get really desperate, or maybe you don't really need them? I hated patches, they made me feel ill.

Sounds like you are doing so well - congratulations!

charliecat · 07/02/2005 21:52

Well your already a nonsmoker as you havent had any fags for a while....I think its a gradual thing, Bit like getting over an X...first few weeks hes in your head, next few you start to dim thoughts of him out......6 months later one thought or two a day........a year later a brief memory at the smell.....I hope so anyway..
TWINK???!!! help me out here!
Ive came to the conclusion, which is perfectly obvious that just ine could never be just one...and to stay off the fags ive got to just live without them.
We ARE doing well!

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charliecat · 07/02/2005 21:55

Drop the patches if you dont feel you need them...thats bloody marvelous really...when did you last have one on?
here if you struggle!

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Twink · 07/02/2005 22:14

CC, yes you're right, I found the 'feeling' just faded away BUT so did the rememberance of the pain of quitting & that's when the B**TARD Nicotine really caught me out.

You'd think that no-one could be stupid enough to quit for 6 years and then re-start a 40 a day habit wouldn't you ?

Well, I have done TWICE !!!!! Not to mention the in between 2 years without...

I suspect you're like me and have to accept that for you, there is no such thing as social smoking (antisocial habit anyway) and you'll NEVER be able to have another one unless you want to fall back into the ashtray. I think I've finally grasped the concept - but still have vulnerable moments, dh is great at pointing them out ahead of time now, which helps.

Twink · 07/02/2005 22:16

Fiona, if you're dreaming about it then you're part way there - honest.

Come back and join us on your running thread, you're missed !

fee77 · 07/02/2005 22:24

I don't know how you can give up when DH still smokes - that must take so much will power. Thank fully DH gave up the same time, but i know if he started again i would "keep him company"! I haven't had a patch on for 4 days now - i was ok with them, jusr odd dreams till i realised i could take them off at night! And to be honest i think the crave has gone - it is the habit that is the problem. I do find spending time on here is really helping - as soon as i put DD down for her nap i log on and read through the active conversations, then have lost the urge to smoke. I have given up the diet though, as it was just too hard - no fags and no chocolate makes me a very angry bunny! One step at a time, and this is the most important one!
Well done again everyone - FG for having a bath in stead of a smoke, and CC for hanging in there! And thanks for all the encouragement!

charliecat · 07/02/2005 22:34

if mumsnet doesnt fill the need go to that whyquit site. It sobers my craves up no end.

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charliecat · 07/02/2005 23:07

I hope Twink its kicked in, I still have the fear in me now.....I remember thinking I was never going to be able to stop and that my whole life was always going to be dominated by it.
When im having a shit day I remind myself that it could be worse, I could be having a shit day and smoking too.
I use it as a pick me up when im feeling down, I remember that I am not smoking, I havent been for a while and im surviving.
Wish someone had told me what a big f*ing deal this would be when I was 14.
I cant seem to find the words though to tell my own kids without wanting to cry
Dont know whether its at my own stupidity, the thought I may well one day fall back into the trap or the thought that they may not quite get the concept and try it anyway.
I hope Mr Blair or whoever is in power has stopped the sales of fags by then. They should be illegal. They should burn the whole bloody lot of them and call them WMD!....
...anyway...rambling on but proud to be free!

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SkiBunnyFlummy · 07/02/2005 23:48

I'm going on Alan Carrs Easy way clinic.

Anyone done it?

This is following:

2 times on patches
a year addicted to nasal spray
once on gum
2 x hypnosis.
1 x read the Easyway book

Usually give up for about 6 months, Twice for a year.

Am determind this time to make it work.

fionagib · 08/02/2005 11:49

welcome skibunny!! You've come to the right place. I have smoked on and off for 20 yrs and have tried...
hypnosis
accupuncture
alan carr clinic
allan carr books
patches
smoking cigars (!!!)
laser thingie (crap!)

and the only thing that has (so far fingers crossed etc etc) worked for me is the support of the lovely people here on this thread. (backed up by a gobful of lozenges!)

I was an absolute addict, loved fags to bits, but life is so much better without them.

good luck!!!

twink, am finishing a book at the mo and working all hours, complete work overload. That's my excuse for not running, but I need to get off my fat rump and get out there, cos have races coming up in spring & summer. (tbh am really nervous about that first run after such a long break!)

mink, you still off the smokes????????
xxxxxx