Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

Hi Mankymummy

Drinking most nights became a problem for me because I started to rely on it psychologically. It stop being about wanting it and moved into needing it - to help me relax or whatever that night's excuse was.

I know quite a few people on the thread are in their 30's and I wondered if this was because people started to notice it was a problem at this age? During your 20's it's quite normal to socialize around drink so it didn't register as a big problem for me. Once I got into my 30's drinking started to feel more inconvenient and I noticed I was drinking more often than friends of a similar age.

I stopped when I was on my knees with it, emotionally. Physically I was getting ill, but I suppose my end point came when I really just couldn't carry on drinking, because it was past the point when i could no longer pretend I could manage it. Its hard- I was drinking alcoholically, and its hard for me still now to write about.

I had to cut down for a bit first, then I stopped. However, I didn't just do it straightaway, it took quite a few realapses for me to really honestly accept the extent of my drink problem.

Oh yes, Jelli- I remember realising that none of my frinds drank like I did.

hi there.

mankymummy, try not to be too hard on yourself. It's taken me months of conditioning to avoid the BWS aisle in the supermarket.....but like the bread aisle (I was diagnosed with coeliac disease three years ago), it just isn't on my radar now.

You do have it in you to get past this, and need to work on changing your habits, but remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, and take comfort in the fact that most of us on here who have stopped have had several false starts before we got things going. I still have the odd lapse, but limit it to one glass as I'm pregnant, but look on it as just that, a minor lapse and then get back on course the next day.

you'll get there, if you really want to

I just did want to accept I could not control drink because for me that mean't stopping completely and I didn't think I would ever manage that. I don't like the thought of being different from everyone else.

Have been invited to a party on 24 May. Everyone will be drinking barr me and the children there. I want to hold on to being sober. It still feels rocky for me so I have started preparing the ground work so that I can go and not drink. Don't want to be a social recluse forever. It's at my sisters so I have already indicated I won't be drinking. If it comes to it and I don't think I can manage it I won't go.

jellibabe.....what was your post of 07:22 about??????

my pregnant brain isn't connecting at the minute as I've had two very sleepless nights due to restless, sleepless, teething, worried DCs.

Jelli- first time I went to a big party I was dreading it, but like you I did loads of mental groundwork and it was much better than I thought.

HI Daisy!

For quite a long time I have not been able to keep wine in the house as I knew I would drink it on the same evening I bought it. Tried to restrict it to the weekends but sometimes it would creep into the week. Knowing how hard it is not to buy it is one of the worst things for me. Recently it's been easier because I have been sober for a couple of weeks. Still I think if I was to buy some wine I would quickly slip back into what the hell pattern.

Daisy you mentioned missing the faces on FB. It was pretty cryptic wasn't it?

I don't even buy wine for other people now- I start panicking.
Also, I can't have any drink in the house- perhaps in time I'll be able to.

A couple of months ago I found a bottle hidden in the back of my wardrobe- I went straight to a frinds house and gave it to her. She was laughing at me, because she said I was holding it like it was a bomb about to go off!

socialising is very hard isn't it. a good friend of mine wanted to go out on the lash one Saturday afternon to watch the rugby just after I'd started on my no booze thing. I eventually had to explain to her that I was aware I'd been drinking too much and was trying to cut down (she ws being very insistent as it's been a regular thing for us for the last few years when the six nations was on). I didn't tell her how much, just that it was "too much", but I know her DH, who is a SAHD, has similar issues to mine so she didn't prod too much. I've since told her just how bad I was feeling, as she thought the no drinking excuse was because I was pregnant but not telling people (that was just a co-incidence though).

Gerbra.....I did used to have really bad night sweats when I was drinking, but never have them now. They did take a while to stop, but I can't remember how long; certainly it was a good few weeks if not a couple of months in total. If it doesn't settle, you should see your GP about it.

That's exactly how I feel about it just now Strippy. Usually I take wine though to my Dad's but didn't last time. Just couldn't trust myself.

lol jellibabe .....and for being a bot slow on the uptake!!

right, am off to try and get a decent night's sleep.

and oh, I felt the baby moving lots and firmly for the first time last night . It was lovely....soppy

and hi teasle before I disappear

My friend was visiting me from Thurso on Saturday. We went to the shop to get messages. Although I didn't mention it I was very anxious in case she bought wine. Didn't think I would manage to refuse it.

Oh thats lovely Daisy. Aye, I'll be heading bedwards too.
Night all x

Get messages from shops? Whats that Jelli?

I'll be going too. We need a sleepy face!!

Ok civilized people call it shopping x

lol jellibabe, it was always messages when I was growing up too

Night peeps!! Don't keep that baby up to late Daisy .

thank you everyone that responded to my post. dont feel worthy. drunk a bottle of wine (plus extra glass ). dont feel drunk really. guess thats worrying. but everything you've all said strikes home. will read again in the morning.

i want to be better than this.

Am off to bed soon here too, but wanted to pop my head around and say 'hello' to everyone.

manky, get some sleep now. Good to hear your progress daisy.

hi to teasle, bm, kokeshi, gerbra, jelli and everyone else.

Have an appt at the alcohol services on 4th June..and I know it took guts, but am bloody terrified!

Just got into that 'summer feel' and it's colder and grey here today - boo!

Hi Purpleone - well done - that's fantastic booking the appointment

Daisy and Jelli - thanks for reassuring me I'm not alone! Actually, last night was much better, didn't sweat nearly so much as I have been, still quite a bit though

MankyM (I can't bring myself to abbreviate your name to Manky, just not right!), don't worry if you haven't managed so far...for me, it took a long while thinking about the prospect of stopping for a night before I finally felt able to try.

I think Stripteasle's idea of writing down your thoughts is a really good one (hi Stripteasle!). When you think you're ready to give it a go, and if you're on the verge of going out to buy wine, could you hold off from going to the shop for 10 mins or so to give your brain time to catch up and evaluate whether you really want to do it?

(I only say this as often after I got back from the shop, I used to think 'god I don't want to do this'...but by that point, the wine (or fags) were in the house)...

It's bloody hard I know, the hardest part is going for that first night sober after a long period of drinking every night. (btw if I can do, seriously, you can do it )

Gerbra x