Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

Hi Mankymummy,

3/4 bottle is better than a whole bottle

My drinking first started getting out of hand when I flat-shared with someone who used to regularly drink at home. It didn't take much to persuade me to join in - I know how easy it is to just say f*k it and buy the wine.

I do think if you're trying to break a well-established habit, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself for not managing it last night. I think you're doing the right thing trying your first night when you know there won't be any temptation around!

How is everyone else? Jellibabe about your mum - hope she's okay?

This incredible weather is making me fantasise about cool lagers / glasses of wine in the garden. !

Gerbra x

Do you fancy telling someone what you're planning doing, so they can give a bit support, such as your BF or DP if you have one, just people you are close to? It helps to talk about things if you're worried about them, too. If you have a problem, keeping it to yourself isn't going to help solve it- only speaking from personal experience, obviously.

When do you fancy giving it a go next?- I could pop by to give some pep talk and support if you like( yes I sound like I know what I'm doing ha )- I'm sure others on the thread will help too!

Planning IS important- like thinking through scenarios- say, if BF comes round- what to say etc to avoid going to the offy. Just a thought. Keep posting anyway, and don't feel a failure- its hard to admit you think you may have a problem.

Oh, hi Gerbra- cross posted with you.
Yeah the fantasising about drinking and warm weather- quite common apparently. (links to denial etc..!)

Hi Stripteasle - how are you? There is definitely something about the sunshine that makes a cool glass of something alcoholic seem so appealing - perhaps I'll go sit out there with a coke / orange juice and see if that does the trick?

Saw friends this weekend (so happy drinking) but DP plus all the other people there have come down with a vomiting bug... but I seem to be fine . DP has just found out the bug is highly contagious (makes sense really) so I feel like I'm sitting on a time bomb - I really don't want to be ill, hate being sick and I can't just leave work either so am applying the power of positive thought tonight!

Might go and try the diet coke in the garden now...

Gerbra x

Perhaps its to do with the imagery of it all, and I suppose it DOES happen...for people who can drink 'normally', by that I mean those who don't have a drink problem. Also, its 'acceptable'- like being out with friends or at a party? Oh i don't know, I'm just going on like an old fool. Where's me beige cardi gone...

Can I ask some advice?

For the last 2 weeks (or is it 3?) I've not been drinking during the week but I have been drinking Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

For the nights I'm not drinking, I'm still having terrible night sweats.

I just wondered if this is simply my body reacting to a lower alcohol intake? Does anyone else have this when they have cut down / stopped drinking.

TBH it might happen when I've been drinking, but I haven't been conscious enough to notice

(pleeease don't say I should go to GP - I just don't think I can, I don't know why...perhaps because it's probably drink related).

If I can reassure myself this is due to cutting down on the alcohol then I can carry on the good work without worrying needlessly (my favourite habit).

Hope everyone else is doing okay tonight...

Gerbra x

(off to bed in a minute - SOBER!!)

woops favourite was supposed to be favourite - must stop trying to mess around with the text accessories!!

Morning did post last night but took so long to compile it MN had the opportunity to crash in the interim period and deleted it .

Was extolling the virtue of cold grape juice and sodawater on a sunny day for creating the ambience I usually associate with wine. A similar theme to expat's (where are you?) pomegreat and soda.

Gerbra I have been sweating a lot too. In fact is ruined so many of my tops I put a post in housekeeping about removing sweatstains from laundry . Have made a double appointment with GP on Tuesday to discuss this and my other list of embarassing ailments. Boy is he in for a treat . Atleast if there is nothing wrong with me I can diagnose myself as a hypochondriac .

Mankymummy I think noticing your habits rather than operating on automatic pilot (which I do) is the start of changing them. Have a Paul McKenna hypnosis CD (for my smoking - still a work in progress) which mentions notice noticing these changes. This phrase seems to have stuck in my head for some reason.

This one is for you Daisy x

Morning all!

Hi Jellibabe - the grape juice and soda sounds lovely but unfortunately my dentist has forbidden me from having any cordials / sweet juices etc. (he only just allowed me orange juice and that was after tough negotiations!). I adore elderflower cordial but unfortunately that's off the cards too...

I'd be really interested to hear what the doc says about the sweating - it's horrible isn't it? It only happens to me during the night - perhaps because I used to drink at about 10pm onwards so it's nearer that time? (I'm grasping at straws here trying to work out why!).

Another lovely day here today. DP upstairs still recovering from bug and amazingly I'm still fine - constitution of an ox!! He's definitely on the mend though which is great...

Gerbra x

Thanks everyone for the advice. Everyone I know drinks virtually every day, I think we all think we should cut down and have some days alcohol free but we all end up with the "oh well, its my only treat" attitude by the end of the day.

BF not here tonight so perfect opportunity not to drink, plus I have no wine in the house. But... i need to go to the supermarket and i just know i'll buy some just incase.

Maybe I can be strong enough not to drink it...

Gerbra and Jelli... i hope you dont mind me asking (and please dont reply if you are offended) but I was just wondering how much you used to drink. the reason being that im wondering whether to expect night sweats and sleepless nights when I do stop.

That was positive wasnt it, "when", not "if".

Hi mankym - well done you - when, not if, is very positive!

I won't say I used to drink as I'm by no means a reformed character! I have, for a long time, been drinking roughly a bottle of wine a night...every night...

Before the flatshare I mentioned, I used to never drink in the week and enjoy a drink at the weekend with friends, which is my ideal really.

I've managed 2 weeks without drinking on week nights and it's made such a difference to my state of mind the morning after - I'm not pretending it's not a challenge to say no to yourself though - I keep reminding myself how much better I'll feel the next day.

I don't think everyone gets the night sweats (I'm not even sure if it's drink related but from what Jelli says it sounds like it is...).

Also, if you were a fairly easy sleeper before the drinking, chances are you'll be okay, perhaps the first few nights will be tricky. I've turned into a Kalms Sleep pusher as they've really helped me as I've always been a terrible sleeper.

Hope this helps!

Keep posting, especially when you try for a sober night, as the support on here is really brilliant!

gerbra x

thanks gerbra... i dont sleep well at the best of times but i guess at least i'll get a lot of housework done if i can't sleep!

i'm very impressed that you've managed to stop during the week, i'm finding it hard stopping for one day !

I know I've still got a long way to go - it's changing the mindset that's the challenge for me. I'm still working out whether drinking is a total no/no for me now, or whether I can get back to the situation of being happy to only drink at weekends..a work in progress methinks!

The first night is definitely the weirdest. The feeling the next morning when you've done it is fantastic though . If you think about it 'only being 1 night' then it doesn't seem so scary...promise!

Better get on with some work now! Stay on the thread MankyM and let us know how you're getting on...

Gerbra x

oh dear.. im so predictable. went to supermarket bought wine and am now drinking it. why do i have no willpower?

I suppose the thing is, initially its easier to just give in and drink?
Not drinking takes more effort than we realise sometimes. Just keep posting, its good to get your thoughts out!

i feel a fraud, today would have been perfect time to not drink and i've drunk nearly a whole bottle of wine already.

i dont want to be like my mother. i dont want to let my DS down.

why didnt i just not buy any flipping wine?

Why don't you write down somewhere the thoughts and feelings that led you to buy the wine? - at some point you made the decision. Just write it or think it to yourself- just try to be really honest.
What do you reckon?

I didn't want to be like the alcoholics I grew up with either- I don't think anyone sets out to have a drink(or whatever) problem.

i bought it because i thought (as usual!), well its a treat... i deserve it (of coursei dont).

its cheaper in the supermarket. i'll buy it so that i can have some tomorrow.

im stressed, have a lot going on this week.

its all excuses isnt it?

Well, yes, but its ones I used myself for years so don't worry! In the end I didn't even have any 'reasons', I just drank.

And of course, it doesn't help you cope with stress by drinking, but then we all know that... I think sometimes it goes beyond rationalisation anyhow, especially when you're crossing onto the threshold of dependency, if you see what I mean.

is it really bad? having a bottle of wine a night (being honest there, nearly said a little drink every night)?

it is. it costs money that i could be spending on DS... i feel rubbish.

sorry that was very negative. how did you stop/cut down strip?

ok, but remember that you've had a drink now, so may be feeling bad about it.

You don't have to drink tomorrow if you don't want to- do you fancy talking to someone in rl about how you are feeling? its often a really good idea to get things out in the open, even if it may seem difficult. Close friend or family member?

I think I've banged on before about planning, but it was really important for me to plan in the early days, because its often easier to just think 'sod it I'll just have a drink'. Plan your night to avoid trigger times etc

it takes effort, I suppose, but there's loads of support out there for you if you want it. Some other posters have found other sites useful, sorry I can't remember what they used- I think it was Dinny.

Sorry, cross posted. Whew, you scared me then!