Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

Fuckinghell grace- just leave the whole thing will you?

This IS a support thread yes, and I for one would like it to stay that way. I just don't understand the need for any of it.

Hi Jelli- you WERE up early weren't you?

Hi to everyone else.

Kokeshi, please make sure you don't let this put you off posting - you are an incredibly supportive, kind and generous poster.

Do I remember ages ago you spoke of Facebook? How does that work? As in, do you speak "off board" on it?

Gerbra, worked out CAT yet? I keep swapping names, can't decide whether to ditch my old one for anonymity purposes or not.

Had two glasses of wine on Friday night - feel fine about it at the moment. Biggish night out planned for next friday.

another tip to help abstain - get into flossing with teepees and toothpast, time consuming and you don't want anything to corrupt the clean feeling!!!

ST, there's a few of us on FB and we do chat off board. It's been good to get to know a bit more about each other without outing ourselves on here. I've CATed you about it.

I know Kokeshi's out today. Hope she doesn't mind me answering for her.

Having a fresh tasting mouth is nice, isn't it? Alcohol makes my mouth feel rank and kind of deadened.

Whats a teepee ST?

toothpick type things Stripteasle? Or wigwams...?

how is everyone today?

As predicted I drank a lot of alcohol this weekend but we had friends to stay so it was 'acceptable' drinking

Feeling more than a bit rubbish today.

Sillytilly I forgot to look at the CAT thing so i'm going to have a look at that in a minute.

Kokeshi - thanks . I reckon if your rooms not that light go for light paint or paper ... I think i'm probably quite dull actually as I seem to have an obsession with painting everything white...think it comes from living in basement flats most of my childhood!

Hope everyone's having a good weekend. I'm re-starting sober Monday again tomorrow and will see how I go - would like to go to Friday but don't want to shout that too loudly in case I set myself up for failure!

Gerbra x

HI Gerbra- must be the toothpick type things-sorry I've not heard of them.
Oh all you young folk and your modern language!

Everyone says one day at a time Gerbra- but its good to have goals too! You did well last week- you can do it again girl.

This afternoon I have been mainly baking- cinnamon apple bread, and other stuff, so at least the house smells nice.

Gebra, let's do till Friday together, shall we (am going out Friday and will drink what I want then)

teepees are these tepe

btw, had hygenist session last week and she saod some of my back teeth in danger of getting gum disease, hence the tepes. I did think of all the times I have gone to bed slightly puddled and not brushed teeth

Young Stripteasle? Not that young me - sadly

Friends who were here this weekend were from my university days and there was a lot of reminissing about (very) misspent youth!

Let's go for it Sillytilly - I'm up for giving it a go...felt so good last week going to Thursday...

Getting cooking now so see you all later...

Gerbra x

need to tak
aboyone arond?

okj no one

I'll be about after 9 pc, if that helps

I can too, just doing child duties.

Hi Paperchain, whats up?

I'm here now. You still about PC?

Doesn't look like PC is coming back, so I might as well post about my day.

Tomorrow I go in for a community detox, so I had to stop drinking at 9PM. I thought I had the whole day planned, but from 6pm I've been counting down the minutes and obseesing about what music I'm listening to and what photos I should be shouting at (ragin alkie).

Ex-p came in at 9pm (as planned) and took the bottle away. As he was putting his key in the lock I was pouring another and guzzling it down. I feel really disoriented now because I don't usually drink that quickly.

I've been swaying from hysterical crying today and utter relief. I don't know how I'll feel as I sober up - it will be weird knowing that I can't pick up again without knowing that I'm a failure and feeling that I've let everyone down.

gracepaley, you didn't upset me with your posts. You worried me actually. Kokeshi's support has been essential to me over the past year, and I'd be gutted to see someone jump in without bothering to read up, and offend her, so much that she didn't feel comfortable posting again.

HI BM, yeah I agree with you, the past year would have been very different for me without the support and patience that Kokeshi has shown me.

I really hope you can sleep tonight, your thoughts must be all over the place.

Brassic - will be thinking of you over the next few days - it must feel incredibly 'final' but you surely know you're doing the right thing. Pity someone like me in fact, I'm behind you on the 'taking action' front and I'm going to continue feeling guilty and secretive (and hungover) for a while longer methinks...how positive and brave is that to be making steps to put all that behind you?

I think I can safely say that we'll all be sending you supportive vibes and hugs

Kokeshi - have just read back and caught up fully on the thread - I would be most upset if you stopped posting - you are the voice of reason! Somehow I don't think you will stop (hopeful tone) as you don't lack courage in your convictions...

Hope everyone else is well. Feel bloated, tired and about 120 years old tonight...here's to sober Monday and onwards!

Gerbra x

by the way, have activated by CAT-ness, but have no idea where you go to look and check for messages [hnm]

LOL gerbra. Any CATs will be forwarded to the email addy that you gave when you registered.

Thanks for your message btw. It does feel final, yeah. I've been willing these last few days away, but when it got down to the last few hours it felt like I was heading into a big black hole. I just wanted another day

One of the things that's really worried me, that I haven't asked about yet, is that I have to give up diet coke . Might not seem very important to most people, but it's what I drink. The nurse said that it was essential as I also use it as a mixer, and that I could get my caffeine fix from coffee . I don't like coffee though.

I'm not taking much notice of this advice right now , but I'll ask more tomorrow. I can understand the association thing, but if I usually drink it with vodka in a glass, surely it will be ok for me to take it from a can now. Won't it?

I'm knackered anyway.

Will post properly tomorrow

Good luck on sober Monday Gerbra

Aw brassic - I totally sympathise with the diet coke thing. My sister and I used to drink so much that mum even wrapped up a crate of it and put it under the xmas tree... (only 1 year and heavily ironic!).

If you are used to drinking it on its own though, might that be all right? Not that I'm going to question a long-standing and well-thought-out detox policy - perhaps once you're a few weeks in you can start to reintroduce it?

Funnily enough, after drinking literally gallons of coffee, after giving up smoking, I discovered I didn't think it tased that good . Am working on redeveloping my taste as if coffee's gone (+ the cigs + the booze) - what else is there?!

Seriously though Brassic - it will be incredibly hard and I'd imagine a total roller-coaster, but the fact you've even signed up to this indicates that you mean business and want to change things...we're all with you!

Have watched soooo much crap tv tonight so am off to bed. Feel practically comatose after a a couple of hard days painting + friends down. Has anyone been watching Pulling? Even the really crass alcoholic story line has me laughing.

Good night all

Gerbra xx

Brassic, will be thinking of you this week.
Big well done to you and sending lots of positive thoughts to see you through.

Didn't know if we were going to have a drink on Saturday until right up until the last minute after having not had one all week. In the end we did.
I'd told myself all week that there was to be no deal manipulation this time. I could drink on a Saturday and a Saturday only. I'd got through the cravings all week by telling myself that I could at least satisfy that craving on Saturday.
I had also decided that if I can't stick to this then then that's it...I can no longer be a drinker and I need extra help.
As I said, as the week went on, I began to think I shouldn't drink on Saturday after all. My excuse on Saturday in the end was that I didn't want to feel that if I'd not had a drink after all I'd earned a bonus drink...that any other night I would think, well I didn't on Saturday so I can tonight, that I'd be kicking myself for not taking myself up on my offer. That would be the beginning of the end
Anyway, we did and I can honestly say that the first half glass was great but that after that I was just tipping it down my neck without pleasure. DH really binged too which worried me. We didn't enjoy it and come Sunday night, the urge was much less.
DH used to start drinking early afternoon on a Sunday which I hate so it was nice.
Something feels different this time. If we've given up before, we tell people, talk about it, set a time limit. We've not mentioned it this time, just done it. I guess this time we've faced up to something darker, we are not pretending we are cutting down but trying to control our drinking before it is too late. We've been drinking heavily together for at least 17 years. It's about time!

Oh and meant to thank you all once again for your support. It was coming on here, feeling desperate and facing up to it the other week that got me started.

Hi. Brassic, I totally understand. I don't think Kokeshi would be put off by a mere difference of opinion; she is made of much sterner stuff and is old skool on here, and much admired, with reason. There was absoutely nothing horrible meant about my posts, beyond a wish to defend myself from over familiarity - and actually, some rather offensive comments - from someone who doesn't know me and who I felt was bulldozing me. I stand by that. I think this can be a broad enough church to support differences of opinion. We all want to change our relationship with alcohol, but we don't all have to do it the same way, do we? Or believe the same things about it? Otherwise it's a bit despotic for a support thread.
I followed your first thread about your alcohol issues way back when and thought you were immensely courageous then. And now you are going into cd. That's brilliant. Best of luck. (although I think you might already be in.) grace.

God BB I totally identify with the chucking the drink back without pleasure. I enjoy drinking with my friends but at home either alone or with DP it all seems a bit pointless and like a quest for oblivion.

Well done for doing so well so far - that's no mean feat after drinking regularly for a long period of time.

Hope everyone else is doing okay today. Thinking of you Brassic.

Sillytilly I'm feeling rubbish this morning (again) and am geared up for a sober Monday. Felt like a different person last week and want that feeling back!

Gerbra x