Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

WorkingThrough is me. I forgot to change back.

Brassic sorry about your horrid day.
You are doing really well.

Ladypanda I think its normal to feel the way you do. Everything you said brought it all back. You sound depressed to me - all that 'everything in my life is great so why do I feel so miserable guilt', but then you would be if you are grieving.
It's true that being a new Mum will get better. It's a huge change. You will one day realise that you have emerged out of the fog of the first months. have you talked about this with your Dr or Health Visitor?

gosh no, my health visitor is properly rubbish and I don't have a doctor as such (we moved just before the birth). I do have confessional in the form of close friends though, am pretty aware that I am a bit depressed at times compared to former self, but I think given the circs it's normal. I'm on it, as it were. GP thanks for the pepping!Golly this is a nice thread x

Ladypanda, don't know much about grief, but just because you've got a jolly good reason to be depressed, I wouldn't have thought it's not reason to have some anti-depressants to lift you out of the clouds. I avoided them for a long time because of breast feeding (though Dr assured me it was ok) and felt so relived when I relented and took them. I'd forgotton what it was like to feel normal.

Welcome to ladypanda, get yourself registered with a GP and don't minimise how you're feeling. If you need support, you're entitled to ask.

Well done jellibabe, Oif and sillytilly for abstaining. If I've forgotten anyone, well done too. The thread is moving so fast not it's hard to keep up.

Hi to gracepaley. So how did you fare with your not drinking for a year plan? You sounded pretty sure that you weren't a dependent drinker so I'm surprised to see you on this thread. By the way, there are a few AA members on this thread so I'd be careful about accusing anyone of proselytizing on here.

Afternoon all!
Lady P - if you are depressed you must see the GP as there's a good chance they can help you. Don't underestimate how helpful ADs can be - not that I'm advocating running to drugs(!) but to get through a low episode, they can help if you feel you're not managing on your own...you've always got this thread to unburden your worries on anyway

Brassic - sorry you're having such a stressful time . Don't even pay the neighbour issue a thought - you say she deserved a telling off! If it wasn't the way you wanted to do it, so? noone's perfect and with all you've got going at the moment you mustn't worry about it!

I spend my life worrying about things I've said and done (to an unhealthy level!) and am finally learning to let things go - I think I might suffer from delusions of grandeur in that I worry so much that what I do / say has such an impact!!

Do you think you'll be okay doing the detox at home? If you pushed for inhouse detox would they let you? ...and would you be able to find someone to look after your DC while you're away? Is it a week?
I know it would be incredibly hard but might be worth it in the long run?

Things will get better - think of the end result

Well I'm no example to anyone - drank way to much last night and there's more on the cards this evening with friends. Going for a sober week next week though...

I'm finally finished the painting - WOOHOO - so am sitting here admiring my handiwork!

Hope everyone's well - will catch up with everyone tomorrow...

Have a good weekend!

Gerbra x

Wow Kokeshi, you have a good memory. You WERE proselytising though, definitely...

Yes. Well my year off was a bit ambitious. I started self-medicating massively when my marriage went tits up. And now my daughter is very ill and I need to be lucid and energetic for her. So I am trying to have a period on the wagon, don't know how long. Have done 4 days so far. Not that long, but for me, in recent weeks, pretty long.

Gracepaley, it's one of the benefits of being sober! I remembered you precisely because you reminded me of me when I was first trying to deal with my drink problem. I have to say I'm not surprised to see you though...

Can I do my 'I told you so dance'?

For the record, I still think you have completely missed the point of what AA is about. You can't 'recruit' anyone to recovery, what are the rewards in it? Kinda futile doncha think? If you can be bothered to read the thread at all, you'll see all the different resources I've used in in my own recovery. There's no one way of doing it, but you have to be honest with yourself about how big a problem your drinking is.

Well done on the 4 days, at least you realise that you were being unrealistic.

Gerbrajess, well done on your painting. We're thinking about doing the bedroom now. What colours are in vogue at the mo? Our bedroom is north facing so can be quite dark. I guess it means our furniture will remain flat-packed for the foreseeable future.

BrassicMonkey, best wishes to you, I hope you get some peace. I really should do something constructive now. Have a lovely day folks

but you see Kokeshi, NO you can't do your I told you so dance - and that is what I mean by proselytising. Not everyone who drinks has a drink problem, innit. Your tone is really sanctimonious. You know NOTHING about me, or my life, and yet you think you could sniff out a drink problem. I find that wildly intrusive and plain wrong. I am sure you are lovely, but please butt out of making assumptions about me. And NO, I am not being defensive because I am a raging alkie.

gracepaley, you are doing fantastically. Whatever you've had to do to get to 4 days is obviously right for you. Well done, given your current circs, (just the tits up marraige would probably be more than enough for most of us!)even more power to your elbow and I hope you continue to cope with your daughters illness. {{{hugs}}}

Kokeshi, realised reading back that there's a bit of a dialogue going on between you and gp, hope you don't think my post is in any way a dig at you. Just that as I'm about the only failure (continuing drinker with no recent sobriety under my belt at all )on this thread these days, I wanted to acknowledge that for me, 4 days would be a massive achievement. You say this too, so......don't know what I'm trying to say really, just I hope you're okay and that I haven't upset you.

GP- from reading the posts i don't think Kokeshi was being too serious?
Anyway, please don't squabble, its the only place I come on MN!

Hairybiker- I think I CATTED you in some bizarre fit of paranoia, but i'm not sure if I did or not. Sometimes my reality still gets confused...

Evening all. x

You did, thank you very much. Did make me think. Thanks for your post too.

Gracepaley, do you not get the use of emoticons then? Your posts so far have been quite flippant and vague, so if actually want some advice or help, you need to actually share something about yourself first.

Err, don't really get the thing about sniffing out a drink problem, have you read the thread title?

Also, using the term 'ragin alkie' isn;t going to endear you to anyone. Start looking at yourself before you lash out at others.

hairybiker, you're in no way a failure! The whole fact you are here, being honest and acknowledging your problems is a massive step in the right direction. You contribute loads and it's great to see you back

Finally gracepaley, I'm sorry you're going through a hard time wiht your daughter. When I said you reminded of me I wasn't being at all sanctimonious, believe me.

It was a horrendous time and it only got better when I actually started to acknowledge that my drinking was an issue. That's what this whole thread is about really.

Oh God, how boring. Lest anyone else reading this has taken my comments to Kokeshi the wrong way, I would like to clearly, slowly and unequivocally state that I mean absolutely no offence to any of us struggling with a drink problem - clearly we are all in this together - and was referring to some of Kokeshi's specific comments on another thread.

But saying something passive aggressive/ inappropriately jubilant and totally out of order and then trying to justify it with emoticons is not really on, imo, Kokeshi.

What exactly is flippant and vague about my saying my marriage is going tits up and my daughter is very ill? Is there something you don't understand about that?

I repeat, if you have nothing GENUINELY supportive, or at least GENUINELY funny, to say to me, then don't say anything please.
I'm sure there are plenty on this thread who value your insights.

God, your posts are horrible gracepaley.

They are really not meant to be Brassic, and I apologise if it upsets you. I just object to assumptions being made about me, and lectures being given, by someone who doesn't know me.

Gracepaley, I wish you well and hope you find some peace with your troubles.

I'm not the enemy though, and if you have read the thread back, in all of it's incarnations I think you'll see that. However I did say on your other thread - where you were pissed off with the suggestion that you may have a drink problem - that it's really not worth my time to try and 'recruit' anyone. I've seen people like yourself saying exactly the same things, denying the seriousness of their drink problem and going further and further down that addictive spiral.

I came on to your other thread because I was concerned that you were being unrealistic. If you ask people for advice about drink problems, you need to expect to read some things you don't like. No-one wants to admit that they're an alcoholic, and your use of 'raging alkie' as a derogatory term, clearly shows that you think you are above this, and it seems all of us who have got sober and/or maintained sobriety through AA.

I'm living in the solution, and I'm quite happy with where I am. If you don't want that, it's entirely your prerogative. If you think this is 'boring' and you know all the answers then good luck to you.

Anyway.

Have woken up early and can't sleep so might as well take this opportunity to indulge in some ironing in the safety of an alcohol free zone. No doubt I will be shattered later but will try to make up for this with an early night. If I can drag myself away from the computer!

Hope everyone had a good Saturday or is moving on to a better Sunday x

Oh good for you Jellibabe, ironing. My pile has reached Everest proportions once more despite me buying a new better iron the other week thinking that would make me do it!

Kokeshi. We will have to agree to disagree on methodology/appropriateness then won't we.
I DO find it meddlesome and WRONG and I don't like the way that it becomes its own defence, ie, "well if you don't like me talking about it then that PROVES you have a problem." My use of the words "raging Alkie" were in this context and not meant derogatorily. I hope that is clear. I didn't realise there was a PC-ness around drinking either.

I am certain you mean well and I am genuinely pleased that you have found a solution that works for you.

I do however think that just as a newly trained psychologist will see mentally suffering people EVERYWHERE, and a newly trained doctor will likely suffer from Hypochondriasis, people who do AA like spotting incipient alcoholics everywhere. It's natural, and part of the process, but that doesn't make it appropriate for the other people.

Anyway,would like to put this behind us as it is taking up too much space on this thread which is after all supposed to be a SUPPORT thread.

I hope everyone had a good night.