Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

Yep, risk avoidance, especially in the early days, really important.

Hi everyone, Kokeshi, BM, Jelli, oif and everyone else.

That's Beechy Colclough, the addictions bloke for the slebs isn't is? Is it any good Oif? As far as I can recall he is a recovering alkie/addict so I'd guess he knows a bit about it!?

What sort of professional help can I get Kokeshi? I know I am not drinking really enormous amounts but I feel I cannot control my drinking and the problem for me is huge. I feel I am on the edge of a very a slippery slope.

We won't drink tonight. Last week I did Monday and Tuesday. Dh had a bad day Tuesday and gave up and on Wednesday I joined him.

kokeshi, its Fio yes he is a sex addict now though isnt he? but nevermind it was actually a really good book. I think i need to read it again though when i start to feel tempted.

He explains all about the little man on your shoulder aswell. He said after he had had a few months of 'proper' recovery he went to the opening of an estate agents or something (attention to detail isnt my strong point) and he was saying that there was free champagne etc and even then after all the hell he had gone through, the little man on his shoulder was saying 'go on have one, its just one drink, it wont hurt...' I could relate to it so much

But the best thing about the book is it does give you good self help strategies and it also explains other types of support and recovery (including AA)

CAn I ask how much you are drinking? I think the crucial thing is that you are aware that you cannot control it. That is a huge step forward IMO.

Professionally, I'd go to see your GP and explain your drinking with complete honesty. She/he may be able to refer you to an addictions service or for some counselling if you feel your drinking is a symptom of something else? There are also counselling services which are self-referrals and of course Alcoholics Anonymous. Most of us on the thread have experience of these so please ask away. Welcome to the thread, keep posting.

It can really work in your favour if your partner is trying to do the same thing. It's absolutely vital in the early stages that there's no drink around you at all.

Thanks.
A bottle of wine a night if it's wine. I try not to buy brandy too often as it's easier to drink more on top.

LOL Oif, is he really a sex addict now?

I decided that I can't do it with him as I have to take responsibility for myself.
I find it easy to blame him if he is drinking for my drinking but I shouldn't expect him to do what I can't. Not that thinking that helps. We just seem to give each other permission to give in. If we are trying not to drink there will be this tense half hour where we are trying to suss out how weak the other might be and then relief of allowing each other to give in if we can tempt them. Maybe we need to talk about this together.

yes it was all over the papers about a year or two ago (see attention to detail again) He had been shagging his patients allegedly....but then did a huge confessional thing and said he was addicted to sex. I dont think his wife was very pleased, poor bloody woman

It's not really about how much but how much of a problem it is.

bootlebin it is easier if you both do it. The first time I cut it out completely (2years ago now) dh didnt and it was harder. I still managed it though but I had counselling alongside giving up, which is where my support was. Dh has stopped drinking now though so its easier

I'm just on my way out the door bb, but pklease stay with us.

but how much is a problem though if you cant fit all your empties in the recycling bin. Are you both drinkign a bottle each and how much % is it? A 14% wine is alot of units for example. Then theres the money thing.

Last thing bb, yes you're right, it is how much of a problem is causes you. But, the reason I asked is that if you're thinking of stopping suddenly you should be aware that there could be withdrawals depending how much and how long you've been drinking for. You'd really need a medical detox if you've had withdrawals before.

Sorry for bad grammar, I'm going to be late.

Oh lord yes. There is the money, our health. We both suffer from depression which the alcohol doesn't help. DH's anti depressants work, mine don't.

I'm so embarrassed about talking to the Doctor about it. She's very helpful with my depression and I feel like she'll say well duh! No wonder you are depressed if you drink so much, why didn't you say before. Logically, I realise she won't give a toss, I'm just a patient. I guess I'm just ashamed and I don't want it on my notes.
What will she do? I hate conselling as it happens, it stirs me up even more though when I have had it, I've been in a worse depressed state than now.

I get bad headaches when I stop, my sleep suffers but that seems to be it.
Hope you are not too late k!

HI BB- long term habitual drinking is linked to depression in itself, and may cancel out the effect of your anti-d's, which I suppose is why you're not supposed to drink on them, but i guess you're aware of that.
My DP has long standing mental health probs, and stopping drinking really has made a huge difference- in fact, I couldn't emphasize enough how much the drink affected his mood and depression.
It IS important for you both to talk honestly, if you can, about what you both want to do, and I know its not easy, especially if you sort of enable each other to drink. Can be done though!

God if I can get sober, I'll bet you can too-keep posting and its nice to meet you.

I suffer with both depression and anxiety. I can honestly tell you that when alcohol is removed from my life/body I am a different person. The deoression anxiety improves beyond belief. With respect to counselling it does get worse before it gets better Im afraid but it is worth it of you stick with it. If you can afford to go private you get much more than thropugh the nhs ime anyway

Hi everyone, the Cublet is back, albeit under new management!!!

The posts are really coming thick and fast at the mo, which is good. Hi BB, hope you can decide between you and your dh what will work. I know what you mean about taking responsibility for yourself, but I definitely think it would be easier if you could help each other....but then I suppose it depends how much you might be tempted to kind of collude with each other about 'just one drink' or the 'had a bad day, must have a drink' thing.

Anyway, am back in the saddle, so to speak now, ds is back and life is back to crazy, hectic normal. Will post tonight, pre drink. xxx

Good to have you back Kokeshi. I'll have a look at that link in a bit. Great post btw.

You probably already know BB, but ADs and alcohol conflict. If DH is drinking the same as you, his ADs might be working because he's actually drinking less in comparison because he's male and has more water in his body. If he's bigger than you then, again he's drinking even less in comparison.

What you say about the tense half hour when you're both looking at other and trying to suss if the other is up for giving in tonight, is one of the downfalls of having a recovery buddy. On the positive side though, if you both want to stop, fear of the others disapproval is a good thing. None of this was a problem for me, as DP isn't much of a drinker and isn't bothered about giving it up. It's not as great as it sounds though, as I drank in secret because I knew he didn't understand and the disapproval made me feel ashamed.

X posted with all of you there.

HI BM, I know this is off subject a bit, but I used to hide my drinking too, which you know, but I was talking to some other recovering alcoholics last week and some of them said theat even thought they lived alone, they still hid their drink in cupboards etc. Just find it interesting.

Thankyou everyone. Will try to have a talk with DH tonight.
I really appreciate you all talking to me.