Cancer Support Thread 94 - Sweetness and light - the two noblest of things.

[LemonDrizzle10]

@tilllly and Daisy.

Any update on@Tilly?

waiting to hear results of a scan for secondaries.

Hello
Thanks for lovely new thread @LemonDrizzle10

How is everyone doing?

Sad news from my place of work on Friday. A colleague of 40 years, passed away in the most of tragic of circumstances. She was the pillar of the school. The children we work with all have additional needs and they will be truly devastated, as we all are.

I haven't been back to work since my Hysterectomy in November and starting to wonder whether I will make it back this academic year: It's been one thing after another; either side effects of drugs, symptoms of the cancer, the blooming menopause, or all three!

On Thursday, I got out the shower and experienced what I can only describe as a huge panic attack. The last time it happened, DP was here and he took me to a&e. I couldn't breathe, I was sweating, heart racing, dizzy.. literally paralysed on the bed. What is that all about???

Truth is, I feel I am going mad! I no longer have control of my body or brain it seems. My body craves hormones and it's protesting wildly. Feeling like a wilting paranoid plant 😢

Sorry for that essay; just needed to write it down:

panic attacks are horrible. You have my sympathy @Enigma52

@clearmoon yes hideous. Oh well, just another " thing" to deal with i guess!

@Enigma52 that’s very sad news about your colleague.

I started doing online yoga last year through a local charity. It’s really gentle and mostly breathing. It’s the breathing that helps to stop my mind spiralling out of control. Have you tried yoga?
I’m also doing a mindfulness course and having counselling!
My BCN said I’d probably need help once the treatment finished- she was right.
I’m in for the scan on my thyroid this Wednesday afternoon. The consultant I saw said to buy an exercise bike and eat some cake- tricky post chemo and pre-diabetic! I’m off out for walk in the sunshine with chemo-pup in a minute instead.

Hugs @Enigma52

Popping in to say hi on the new thread. Thanks for making the place look nice!

I'm back in for lymph node clearance on Tuesday. Concerned about getting lymphoedema but needs must.

One breast currently quite sore, weeks after the surgery. A stitch worked its way out a couple of days ago, so there's some internal breast drama going on.

@Enigma52 sorry about the panic. You've had a hell of a lot to deal with, it will all come out somehow. Hope you're doing ok.

Sending love to all of you out there, dealing with the shitshow.

Hey there all! Aw @Enigma52 panic attacks are just the worst! Sounds like things are just getting on top of you - would you consider anti anxiety/ depression meds? They do help. Another thing when you feel a panic attack coming on is to practice grounding I think it’s called. Basically your brain can only really concentrate on one thing at a time so you need to get it off the panic. You say for example I’m standing in the bath in my bare feet on a ceramic surface. The surface is warm. I can touch the tiles wall on my left. The tiles are warm to touch and there are smooth. I can touch the shower door to my right, the glass is clear and through it I can see my towel. My towel is on the hot radiator and is a beautiful teal colour with flowers on it. Straight ahead of me is the window with its patterned glass. It’s starting to steam up with the heat. Rinse and repeat. If you were in a different room you would choose other relevant things. Sounds weird but it does work but you have to concentrate on doing it. Have a wee practice before you need it.

After my CT scan I had some vaginal bleeding which has continued. It’s not as much as a light period, no clots and proper red and seems watery. Definitely not from urine. Thoughts anyone? Cancer the gift that keeps on giving! On a plus note had the most fabulous couple of days away with my sister, laughed a lot, ate a lot and shopped a lot!

Hi everyone,

Just popping in to say hello!

@Enigma52 Panic attacks are the worst. I had a very smart therapist many years ago, who taught me to firmly plant both feet on the ground and "ground myself" when they happen. Just focusing on the feeling of the floor under my feet, basically. Hard to explain, but Google "grounding techniques" maybe? I found that helpful.

I'm having a very nice weekend. Went out for a fab breakfast after taking DS swimming this morning, and now pottering around at home. Should be packing for my first business trip since the surgery (going to the US tomorrow), but I'm procrastinating quite happily for now.

Tillly, if you are reading this, or if someone is reading this to you, then know that I'm thinking of you a lot, sending you love.

@LemonDrizzle10 thank you for the new thread!

Also thinking of you @Tilllly and sending love X

@Tilllly sending hugs and strength. X

I have terrible joint pain. When I wake up in the morning one of my fingers is always bent I have to physically bend it back. My feet are killing me. I have an eye operation on Friday then on Monday I have a pet ct scan in the morning and an MRI in the afternoon in two different hospitals. Honestly i feel worse than when I was on the chemo.

@EachandEveryone I had sore joints then found out I was pre diabetic. I’ve completely changed my diet and no longer hobble about like a 90 year old.

Oh what have you cut out? I need to do this. Im also getting very cracked feet so I suspect Im also pre.

I cut out most sugar (dark choc has to stay!) upped my veg and fruit intake, fibre, whole meal pasta, bread etc. It has made such a difference. A few people I know have become diabetic after chemo - chemo absolutely batters the body.

Thanks for the new thread Lemon, I feel a bit of a fraud now posting as I don't get involved much these days. It is all a bit much for me really a lot of the time, I prefer ignorance now I am not in active treatment.

As the usual intro, I am now 38, diagnosed with stage 3 low grade ovarian cancer in 2022 which swiftly returned and is now inoperable/incurable but currently (and long may it continue) stable.

@AGreatUsername

you're a….

Thanks for the new thread!

I'm fed up today, I have my pet ct tomorrow and the hospital called the book the kidney test (idk the scientific name) but they said because my pet scan uses a contrast they now can't do this test for another 3 weeks. I'm so upset I really had hoped I'd be close to starting treatment by then. So another 3 weeks giving my tumour to grow and spread 😢

Thanks @LemonDrizzle10 for starting the thread for us.
I think I joined round about thread 76 back in 2020 with my first BC. (Triple positive BC followed by triple negative BC). It’s been a long and winding road since then but I can see glimpses of new normal life occasionally. For those who have finished active treatment we have a recovery thread here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/5005668-the-great-recovery-part-2-after-cancer-treatment-what-next?page=1
and for those who have Stage 4 cancer there is a special thread for them too.

I am mending slowly from my totally pointless and unnecessary injury 10 days ago when I fell off a boat and broke some ribs. I am still sore and can’t roll over in bed but I can drive again and am looking forward to getting fitter at last.
I am high risk for diabetes too like LemonDrizzle so I have been on the Zoe project eating thirty plants a week and no UPFs. I try to avoid all refined carbs but my DH is a cake addict so it is difficult! My weight is up again after the total hip replacement, and scar revision operation which were just before I broke my ribs. I am a walking disaster area but I am bored of telling people about it now and just want to move on.

Raising a cup of tea to our Princess @Tillly wherever you are, with Daisy dog by your side. You are much loved.

Hello all, I hope you are all doing well. My MRI showed that my small tumour is actually over 5cm. So it’s a mastectomy on one side for me. Got an appointment to see the plastics team as I’d like a re-construction at the same time.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed to be honest.
I’m sorry I don’t have any wise words for anyone else on this thread. At the moment it’s all I can do to keep up with kids, work and general life admin.

@catmomof3
Sometimes the different depts. just can't get their acts together can they? I probably would have asked if it was possible for the kidney test to be done before the PET scan. Have you contacted your nurse to see if that's possible? If not then it really depends on how necessary the kidney test is to starting treatment.
On your other query about concerts etc I have to say that it comes down to where you are in your treatment schedule. I started chemo in early April 2022 and managed one gig in London 2.5 weeks after my first cycle. I was really tired after but managed ok. Sadly I had a huge number of gigs to go to from May to July and didn't manage a single one. I was so upset as I missed so much - we're talking Imagine Dragons, Placebo, The Hella Mega Tour, Twenty One Pilots, Slam Dunk, Download etc. but I was just so unwell that I could never have made it. Last year was better and I made it to the festivals and some other bands but it was very tiring. It's possible that you'll be ok and possible that you will not but perhaps a contingency plan might not go amiss?
@Enigma52
Meno anxiety is a bitch. I suffered so much during mine and that wasn't a forced menopause. I also suffered with feeling really angry and aggressive particularly towards DP (I spent several years imagining a pickaxe in his head) and don't get me started on the phantom burning smells! I have several ways of dealing with anxiety/panic attacks.
One is the 4 count square where you visualise a blue square and follow each side while controlling your breathing & counting to 4. So draw breath in over a count from 1 to 4, hold that breath for a count of four, let the breath out over a count from 1 to 4 and again hold your breath for a count of 4 and repeat until your breathing is normal. It helps to shut your eyes and be seated. I use this for panic attacks.
The other is hand tracing. Sit with the palm of your non-dominant hand upwards and with the index finger on your other hand gently traces a spiral on your palm. If you slowly breath in going from the centre to the outer edge and then slowly breath out going from the outer edge to the centre again and keep repeating until the panic/anxiety passes. I use this one for anxiety build up.
The good thing is that both can be done while in public or in company as both are fairly unobtrusive. DC also uses these methods.
I also have a support animal on a keyring which is a small furry animal (not a real one!) and I keep it clipped on to my handbag so that I can stroke it between my fingers. It's quite soothing when I'm on the bus or at an appointment. I hope this helps

@MothralovesGojira My pet scan is tomorrow morning so can't reschedule that and I think it might be the same situation due to having contrast so close together but I think I might call my nurse tomorrow and ask her do I really need to wait 3 weeks. I also didn't plan on going to a concert, was gonna stay the night in London with my daughter as she is going to one and meet her outside the venue after it ends. Luckily it's only a few stops from Kings Cross so hoping it will be ok.