The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

Thanks Clash Hope you get your tropical adventure and restarting degree sounds interesting.

Well done for swimming Nappy, it does feel very strange if you've had no reconstruction on one side though have adapted but initially I had to invent a whole new stroke of chicken backstroke where you lie on your back kick and flap and it's surprisingly fast once you perfect it. 😁

No fast men at my swimming pool Sierra and I find men tend to leave when you swim faster than them.

Just had breakfast of French toast with fresh fruit and white chocolate and borneo rainforest tea with DD. Will go to orangutans later. Back to Kuala Lumpur tomorrow and then London day after. Breakfast and our room and restaurant.

Nappy more helpfully you can get a swimming prothesis from Ameona and post surgery swimming costumes to put them in makes you feel a lot more balanced. Front crawl still feels strange but much better.

@Penguinsa How good does that breakfast look. Yummy.

I wish I had something exotic lined up! Today I got a bit carried away and decorated a corner of my kitchen that has been bugging me. We moved in to Tops Towers ten years ago next week, and DH madly rushed round buying furniture from charity shops. He put a nice wooden dresser in the kitchen before I had a chance to decorate. Afterwards I painted the room but didn’t do that corner or the ceiling. Today I emptied the dresser, chucked out lots of old food, washed and painted the walls and ceiling behind it. Now it is all back in position and hardly anything has changed but I KNOW! I’m going to work my way round the room touching it up. I don’t want to do it all in one go because I need a functioning kitchen! It has made me happy because I am fit enough to carry stuff, climb ladders and paint, and well enough to actually care about it.
Maybe I’ll have a fancy breakfast like @Penguinsa to celebrate 🥳

I am aching a bit from cycling and going to the gym, but it’s good pain. And in today’s class I was hopping! Go me!!

Thanks MissMarples

Well done Top. Hope you got some well earned nice food.

About to board flight back to Heathrow now after a wonderful holiday with DD. Was just swimming in pool with tropical gardens yesterday as well as flight from Sandakan to Kuala Lumpur and the last lovely French toast and fruit breakfast. Today's breakfast was lovely too and included smoked salmon, local cheeses, jams and fresh pancakes and fresh fruit juices and coffee.

It sounds like an amazing trip @Penguinsa , it's really encouraging to hear about everyone's adventures. I really want some French toast now!

Well done on tackling the kitchen @TopOfTheCliff I need to do some decluttering but can't really motivate myself.

I am feeling a bit tired which I think is the phesgo but I think I am pretty much back to my pre-cancer activity levels, just a bit slower and with some aches. I definitely feel fitter than I did even a month or so ago so I'm going to take that as a positive.

I hope everyone has a good weekend x

@demivolte i know that feeling only too well. In your head you have lots of plans but the body says no. I find just doing a tiny corner, one shelf or cupboard, then stopping for a rest and a coffee seems to keep me bumbling onward. It’s an incremental process. The hard core hoarding isn’t my area of responsibility but I’m slowly invading it!

Haha I need to take a leaf out of your book and get some sorting some stuff in the house.

DP had a valiant stab at it whilst I was in Norway, but fear he has in reality only moved mess and clutter around!

Having a couple of guilt free lazy days as last week's exertions are catching up to me and I've been non stop with work since I got back. Did do some swimming though and will do some general pottering about.

@ClashCityRocker My DH is similar - "I've tidied up while you were out" equals "I rearranged my record collection", lol.

Ok I'm in the low odds bin again - not cancer, but the oncology gynae called me this afternoon sad my vaginal swabs showed pseudomonas bacteria "we don't see this in the vagina much". (Sorry if this is TMI for your Friday nights ). Possibly hospital acquired FFS. I'm a bit confused about the whole thing though I asked lots of questions. I think it might be colonisation rather than infection, so just on the skin, as an infection it can be fatal, they give antibiotics for it but I think it's quite strong antibiotics so apparently she spoke to the microbiologist and as I don't really have any symptoms they're not suggesting doing anything, but it does worry me. I'm not sure whether there's implications for my immune system or more widely, she said not, but it feels like something is not right. I've got a second follow-up appointment that was already booked for a couple of weeks since I was sent to the wrong clinic last time, so I will follow up with her probably. Apparently it is sometimes seen in people who've had chemo, the gift that keeps giving, but it seems a long time since my chemo, I have had other swabs since then, so I still have lots of questions. I just want an easy run at things. I've got to have a tooth out too probably in two weeks as it's cracked and manky.

On the plus side I've just taken DD and her BF to Giffords Circus, which was great!

Oh goodness @SierraSapphire it must feel like whatever next! No one wants to be a medical anomaly.

@Penguinsa sounds wonderful!
@TopOfTheCliff sounds like your energy levels are going well!

Im now in Adelaide - bit of a drive. Amazing sights on the way, we saw sunset, stars and sunrise at lake tyrell - a salt lake. Beautiful light for photos.

I’m currently having a lazy morning at the hotel while husband does his cosplay photography at the convention.

I have mixed emotions about leaving work. But it doesn’t leave me any space for myself and my recovery needs to be the focus.

I’m getting a few zappy pains from right side where lymph nodes removed. I still have the worry in the back of my mind… Blood test results nd oncologist in a couple of weeks.

@SierraSapphire oh no! Fingers crossed it really is something minor that doesn't require any intervention. There are so many unusual things one can have medically that it is beginning to look, paradoxically, like a lot of people can be in 'low odds' bins. Each person's 'we hardly ever see this' anomalies might be different to those of others.

Stunning views @FairyWren7

Sorry to hear that Sierra. I know absolutely nothing about that but wondered if it could be from swimming and online which may or may not be accurate does seem to be possible, might be worth asking.

Good you will be able to concentrate on recovery Fairywren. Once you feel stronger and healthier again things improve mentally as well I find, all gradual as you build up. Beautiful pics.

Thanks everyone. Wonderful holiday, now back home. Have lost sense of taste and smell but seems mild and now can rest. I hardly slept over there so will sleep a lot now, was just too excited over there and timezones. Floof is so happy and we are so happy to see him. DD was great all trip but end of flight back was whining at me which in turn made me sad when DH arrived and I was so tired but then we all had a McDonalds and everyone was fine again. When we went away when the kids were younger DD would often be like this then DS would tell her that I was perfect and to shut up and I needed the old DS but he is getting there.

Yeah it could be from swimming Penguinsa - i've ordered some vaginal pH balancing stuff, which the consultant recommended, and also some probiotics as lactobacillus apparently fights against it - I'm not convinced probiotics actually work but then I'm not convinced they don't work either so I'm giving it a go! I'm just a bit confused about whether it will go away by itself or whether there's a risk it's going to get into my bloodstream, but I will ask the consultant when I have my follow-up in a couple of weeks. Coincidentally DD turned up to do a shift in her normal ward and found it closed with something very similar.

@FairyWren7 yeah, your priority needs to be recovery, you were really stressed and it wasn't sustainable. I think I have a similar decision to make about what to do about my master's, i've taken a lot of time out and I'm on my last module before the project, but with my mum's hospital admissions and the new job and trying to close down four or five client contracts, and questions about what's going on with my body, I don't know whether it's just unrealistic to try to finish it. It would seem as shame to give up as I've come so far, and I had to abandon a masters before because of DD's anxiety and leaving school to be home educated plus my DF's illness, but I also don't want to be constantly busy and stressed.

@SierraSapphire I’m dealing with a long term sinus infection. 6 courses of antibiotics and it’s not shifted. Defo made worse by stress. Think they will do a referral to a specialist. But I reckon some warmer weather will help. Just very low immune system.

@SierraSapphire Yes I was stressed to the point of making myself unwell.

Is there any way that you can postpone it a bit longer? And then return to it when things settle down a bit.

I don’t know how many teachers we will lose from the profession this year. We’ve had a change in assessments for VCE English which has made the workload intolerable. I was working 3 days over four - but working around ft with all the marking and still having to do extra at the weekends. It was making me very resentful - the same amount of work as ft but less salary. Still I will never be out of work. The amount of calls, emails and consultants contacting me on linked in is crazy.

We’ve had a great day at the event. The husband has taken millions of photos and I’ve had a nice time doing drawing classes and just soaking it all up. Lovely costume! Got a few ideas for my own - think I might have a go!

just watched a rather fabulous cosplay burlesque show! Very saucy! Poles, fire, the lot! Lots of fun!

Glad you've had a good day @FairyWren7

I think regarding my master's, the problem is once I start a full-time work I'm not realistically going to finish this module. I need to either just get on and do it now before I start work but whilst I've still got other things going on and also perhaps when the priority is to rest and have a nice time before I start full-time work, or I decide effectively I'm abandoning the whole thing and I'm not likely to ever get it. It seems a shame since I've battled on (appropriate use I feel of often annoying metaphor!) through my DM's emergencies and my own cancer not to mention the money I've spent on it to just give up, on the other hand, I'm not sure I'm ever going to use it and I'm not sure whether I really care very much anymore! I have just sat down and looked at it for a bit, maybe doing a few hours and see if I can do a botch job on the assignments before making a final decision is the way to go. I'm so fed up feeling like my midlife has just been one sacrifice after another. That sounds like I'm feeling very sorry for myself! But maybe that's okay to grieve. This is not what I expected for myself. Though sitting underneath toss is continuing anger and guilt around my DM. Glad I have this thread where people understand, I am sorry lots of you are in a similar shitty situation trying to make the best of things!

Okay, me again. I asked AI to help me make a decision about my master's, both Claude and ChatGPT, and what they both helped me to conclude was it is no longer my priority, so even though I know about it, I was falling victim to the sunken cost fallacy,. I started the course three years ago, and I had a purpose to doing it then, but it's just not important to me anymore, I'd rather chill and play tennis, so I think that's that decision made! I can recommend AI, I've done this a few times around decision making and it's great at being really structured and logical! I'm now going to go and chill in the garden!

@SierraSapphire That's an interesting way to make a decision. Did you just type the details into Claude and ChatGPT then ask it a question?

I gave them the issue and asked them to ask me questions to make a decision, then I answered the questions and asked them if they had any more, and they summarised pros and cons and asked me more targeted questions, like what would I do with the time I saved instead for example and that prioritising my health was non-negotiable. They summarised again and pointed out other key issues, including why I shouldn't feel bad about myself for giving up. I then asked them to come down on one side or another and they both said the case for stopping was more compelling. And I realised they were right and felt good about a positive decision to do things I actually value now! I love AI, I use it a lot.

I've never used it but I'd quite like to try it out. I don't realise you can ask it to ask questions, that sounds like quite an interesting way of sifting through those thoughts that crowd my head sometimes.

Do I just download ChatGPT or Claude onto my laptop?

@SierraSapphire I think we are all balancing so many of the same issue.I was trying to sort out my Diploma during the last few days at work and I still have to do these booklets. Lots of random notes to prove I can do caseworking etc.

I’m not sure I will ever use it. Essentially I’ve got more tan enough experience. But I like to finish things once I’ve started.

That’s amazing that you can use AI to work out the best decision for you.

I am really focusing now on things that give joy or at least contentment and don’t cause harm.

We’ve climbed a mountain all of us in the last few years and what do you do when you climb a mountain, you sit, admire the view, reflect on the achievement. Only then do you think about making your way back down again …

I have been pushing myself too hard. I think maybe you have too.

That's good you made a decision Sierra never used AI but I used to toss a coin and sometimes you reaction to it makes you realise what you want like you get a result then say you will make it best of three. Now I am very decisive to the point of being impulsive but I find even if you don't make the optimal choice there are always other ways and its generally better to try one way than dither.

DD has gone to an all day party / concert, impressed with her energy levels. I got the hair product (some anti-frizz thing and does help a bit) though was pricey for what it is. Just had pancakes for dinner.

I just got my first tattoo!