The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

Re hair regrowth:
I finished chemo about 8 weeks ago and had a lumpectomy 4 weeks ago.
My hair is slowly growing back but it's a grey buzz cut!
Not a curl in sight!
How long does the regrowth take?
My son is getting married at the end of August and I was hoping to have my own hair by then( preferably dyed!)
Also I still have terrible fizzy fingers and feet ( neuropathy.)
How long does that take to disappear?
It's very uncomfortable.
I have some acupuncture appointments next month but is there anything else I can do?
TIA. X

@Zoopet I’m sure speed of regrowth varies a lot but I’m sharing a photo of me about 4 months out from the end of chemotherapy. I had it dyed shortly after. (I didn’t buy those sunglasses!). I know that’s probably not what you were hoping for…the other thing to bear in mind is that you can’t just let it grow as you end up with a crazy cartoonish mass all round your head, so you need to lose some length for shape.

Sorry, I also meant to say that I’m sure you will have a wonderful day whatever your hair looks like and your family and friends will just be delighted you are there, and well. But I know it might feel a bit daunting to still be looking cancer-y. I didn’t have neuropathy so can’t help on that score 💐

@dotty looking lovely there, the short length looks great on you!!

Has anyone has experience of hair loss and (hopefully) regrowth after radiotherapy rather than chemo at all? Mine was a 6 week course to the brain and I've lost a huge patch underneath. My hair just about disguises it the extent I don't want to shave it off but I've no idea whether to realistically expect it to grow back. Mixed expectations from radio and oncology.

DD has last exam at the moment then her and I are off to Borneo so may not have internet access for a while. Flying tonight. Sorry for rushed post but need to leave soon.

@Penguinsa have fun! I did lots of trips in that area as I used to live in Brunei!

My hair seems to be going a bit better. Ended chemo in last June, have got a short rather messy bob now. Reckon about 10/12 centimetres. But I’ve had one trim and she took more off than I wanted her to. No curls but some grey at the front. I want it to hurry up!

@Penguinsa enjoy Borneo! That's a strong look @dotty2 . It looks fabulous and intentional.

Speaking of hair, I currently look like a poodle who has been trimmed by a novice doggy hairdresser..

I need more lenght before anything decent can come of it (used to have long wavy hair. When it's short it goes into tight curls and grows outwards). Now it's multilength, part wavy part curly, thanks to the cold cap, so just looks ridiculous. Gel seems to help.

@Zoopet my neuropathy has presented as numbness rather than tingling, perhaps due to different chemo drugs? Acupuncture has definitely been helpful. Other than that, time. I’m about 10 months post chemo and my fingers are almost completely healed and I just have patches of numbness on the balls of my feet and toes. I’ve had to keep my feet very warm, even in the middle of an Australian summer I had to wear socks or slippers. And am very grateful that trainers are fashionable!

@Catunderling sorry I can’t help but wanted to reply. Hope somebody can answer you.

@Penguinsa have a brilliant time with DD and stay alive! It would be very annoying to die at this point DD is spot on!

@GrannyGoggles perhaps you could treat yourself to some individual psychotherapy to work through the trauma and find a new way. I’m sorry your group facilitator didn’t realise what was happening. I found the ladies in my MF group were still early on in their recovery and very frightened whereas I was finishing lap 2 and very upbeat and positive. I must have been very annoying!
I love Brittany! Whereabouts are you hoping to go? We go over twice a year cycling but I missed the April trip. In September we are off to Plouganeau. Magical!

The funeral for DFIL was today, and all went well. As expected we just had 9 back to my newly tidied and clean house for tea. Now I can revel in its loveliness until DH sneaks his bikes back inside! But he did well and looked very smart and so did his 2 DS. He is tired but relieved it’s done.
Incidentally is there such a thing as grief tourism? We have had two friends come a long way to attend both DMIL and DFIL’s funeral when we haven’t seen them for years. It can’t be for the food as it would cost way more to travel here. It’s as though they wanted to be part of the drama.
Today was meant to be a rest day but I did 10330 steps! I will try again tomorrow.

Oh and @Zoopet you just need a totally majestic Mother of the Groom Hat! I had one for my DDs wedding and I loved it. I’ll dig out a photo.

@Zoopet Empathise with wanting your own hair back for the wedding; suggestion from @TopOfTheCliff about rocking a hat is good, or @dotty2 with her strong, excellent crop. It may seem counterintuitive, but getting it cut even shorter can look better than just letting it grow as it does seem chemotherapy re-growth can be wild and woolly. Chuckling at @isaxx channelling a poodle, think mine is more labradoodle currently, although two granddaughters tell me that my Afro really suits me. Bloody hair! Like @FairyWren7 I want it to hurry up

Sorry to hear about neuropathy @Zoopet. Yoga has helped me considerably, feet much better. Time also helps. Difficult to be patient, was never my strong suit.

@TopOfTheCliff I went back to psychologist yesterday. She was brilliant last year, and we are going to work together to help me through this current funk. Just knowing she’s in my corner is a positive. Brittany a favourite haunt of ours for decades, staying with friends at Ste Marine near Benodet. And yes, grief tourism is a thing, a version of rubbernecking a RTA, or (metaphorically) rubbing your hands at the prospect of someone else’s diagnosis and using Dr Google to become world expert on how you should do your cancer.

Hope you have a peaceful day @TopOfTheCliff, FIL’s funeral was never going to be restful

@TopOfTheCliff love the hat- glad the funeral went as well as it could. Yes grief tourism- some of dms neighbours who had never spoken to her came to hers…. Think it was a day out, something to add drama.
Hope @Penguinsa and dd have an amazing time!

On the grief tourism, to be more charitable, I think it's sometimes that people put stuff off until it's too late. My parents moved to a different part of the country when they retired and kept saying they must go back and visit their former elderly neighbour. They had been unhappy in that house (anti-social behaviour from local youth), so they did have reason for being reluctant, but I must say I was pretty exasperated with them when they didn't visit for years and then made a special trip to go to her funeral.

Excellent hat @TopOfTheCliff ! Hope you have a more restful day today.

@Catunderling I vaguely know someone who lost hair after radiotherapy to the head. I'm not sure how long the treatment course was but the missing patch did grow back. Fingers crossed for yours.

I'm around 4 months post chemo and mine is growing back extremely slowly (though my leg hair is very enthusiastic). I've got a very thin covering on my head and can still see my scalp through it. I've had a few instances of people not recognising me, and last time I was at the hospital someone told me off for going in the ladies toilets as she thought I was a man.

Enjoy your trip @Penguinsa

Thank you @dotty2 for reminding that a generous response is better than a mean one. There are many, many reasons why people decide to attend a funeral, maybe best to ascribe positive motivation rather than drag your own stuff up

I hope I didn't sound sanctimonious - I'm sure sometimes it is just a weird voyeuristic motivation.

In other news, I have successfully negotiated my long and tiring week - I visited dad and survived the 6 hour drive on Weds. Then I managed to get my DD17 and her friends to Taylor Swift at Wembley last night after school. That proved a logistical nightmare as the trains were all messed up, some delayed by over 2 hours, and ours was cancelled...but it worked out in the end and they all had an amazing time. Less positively, my dad (who has blood cancer) is really not well, and ended up in A&E yesterday for an emergency transfusion. I am going with him to his results appointment next week, but I think we all know it's not going to be good news. I am also finding the thought of the appointment very panic inducing - too many bad memories of my own (I know that sounds selfish.) Also my lymphoedema seems to have flared up a bit, and my hand is swollen, but I think it might be a combination of the heat and too much sitting/driving.

I hope everyone is having either a lovely holiday (for those of you off on your travels at the moment) or a restful weekend.

Well done @dotty2 I hope you are resting with your arm up. My yoga teacher does a great routine for lymphoedema. See The Gentle Recovery online for details. I think cycling helps too.
I had a lovely sail last night with DH and a friend. We nearly won but got overtaken at the end again. Need a bigger downwind sail!
I have left this weekend unplanned deliberately so DH can hang out with his DS and DSis and do a bit of processing. I’m happily doing domestic tasks at home while they clear the PILs garden together. It’s nice to have a quiet time.
Thinking of @ClashCityRocker and @Penguinsa having adventures too. This thread is inspiring for setting an example to others!

@dotty2 Sorry to read about you DF - I hope the news at his appointment next week isn't as bad as you fear it will be.

Yes, @TopOfTheCliff , this thread is one of the most inspiring. It has given me the courage to try things I would normally never have considered.

Will catch up with the thread shortly but just checking in after 97 km kayaked and two 500m peaks climbed!

I'm achey, stinky and absolutely shattered but have had the most epic time. Spending tonight back in civilization where I can have a shower and don't have to take a trowel and a carrybag with me to go for a poop and it's bliss. Flying home tomorrow.

We had all different seasons, including two days of glorious sunshine and relative warmth and a rather exciting storm which made wild camping an interesting experience. Attached some pics taken by another member of the group - can't take the credit as most of mine ended up with cameras over the lenses etc!

Few more pics

@Catunderling I had radiotherapy hair loss of my pubic hair (cervical cancer). It started to grow back quite quickly after treatment ended - within a couple of months I think

I just typed a message and then it vanished!

@dotty2 good job on the lifts and concert! Sorry about your Dad’s health.
@ClashCityRocker wow! That looks beautiful!

Good news here. I’m off to the UK for the summer. School have employed an experienced teacher and she will take my classes. Both the head of seniors and acting head know my situation and have both experienced health issues (not as bad) themselves. So it’s fine, good references.

Mildly worried about the finances but it will be ok. Life is to be lived. And I need to see my family and friends :)

Will get my Diploma signed off, and when I get back will look for something different.

Really hoping to walk, exercise and eat lots of salad… the winter carb and sugar thing has been cranking up here and I can’t afford to go down that path.

Thanks @demivolte and @ClashCityRocker that's great to know, fingers crossed for mine too!

@ClashCityRocker just wow!!! It is as amazing as I expected. You are an inspiration! Now enjoy that lovely shower and smelling sweet again.
What were the best and worst bits? Do you recommend the trip?
(takes notes)

@FairyWren7 that’s exciting news! If you are in Devon message me! It’s warm and sunny here for once.

I am riding my bike more now. I posted a picture of myself today and got a whole load of comments on how well I look. It’s nice but I must have looked awful before…

@dotty2 if your feelings are selfish then so are mine. I really struggle taking my mum to her post cancer checks. In some ways it’s worse than my own. Resentment looms large which isn’t attractive I know but why is it always my job to take her?

@ClashCityRocker wow those photos - gorgeous! Thank you for sharing.

@FairyWren7 I’m delighted to hear about your travel plans. Have a wonderful time!

@TopOfTheCliff I’m glad the funeral went well. Enjoy the tidy home while it lasts.

A sports journalist I follow is releasing a book about life after cancer. I am planning to read it, will share a review if anyone is interested. Here is an article she wrote about it.
Life Goes On