The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

@dotty2 Thanks for the update. Hopefully things improve from here, though sorry to hear the hand swelling has got a bit worse. I suppose it is indeed early days and one has to be patient. Although preventing future progression is a key aim, another hope is that it also improves things from where you are now, ideally allowing you to reduce the sleeve/glove wearing. As to the thread on long sleeved summer tops, I followed that with interest and ended up getting a couple of things myself. Like you, I haven't had much need for them, as jumpers have done the job!

@GrannyGoggles welcome to this thread. It is a lifesaver to be able to vent and hear from others who have been in the same situation both physically and emotionally.

Ooh @isaxx we do love to celebrate here, 🥳🥳🥳

Welcome @GrannyGoggles and sorry you have hit a wall. Did you do a Moving Forward course after treatment? If not they are really helpful in getting your head straight. They are run by Breast Cancer Now and are very empowering.
There is no right way to recover, and you feel just how you feel, not what you think you OUGHT to be feeling. I think I have learned to be gentle with myself and accept whatever comes along. But then as the Tigger of this thread my down days are very few thankfully. I am genuinely lucky to have a naturally optimistic outlook on life.

Today I led a bike ride for my Monday ladies cycle gang for the first time in ages. I rode a proper road bike and made clear it was a convalescent ride for unfit and unconfident people. We had seven out and did a lovely ride down to the sea for coffee. I got home with 15 miles done and some steep hills home to the top of my cliff. I was so happy I promptly booked the flights and hotel for the Olympics with my friend. That planning ahead thing is beginning to return at last!

This week’s challenge is getting the house tidied up to hold the wake for DFILs funeral. It will be a gentle and quiet occasion. DH is home later and ready for decisive action!

Glad it turned out to be nothing Isa

Welcome Granny

Also went to a couple of events at London 2012.

Getting haircut tomorrow, not sure I will not regret that decision as I still want to grow it and last time I went the lady made it quite a lot shorter and layered it and underneath was quite damaged but its so thick and wavy which can look lovely then 5 minutes later looks a bit wild. So I am hoping for a more stylish version but just really hoping they don't shorten it. I tend to also go silent as soon as I walk in a hairdressers and just agree to anything. 🤔

DD is doing a punting May Ball tour by the fireworks tonight and just 1 A level exam left on 20th then done. DH is at his piano lesson.

How lovely to be going to the Olympics, @TopOfTheCliff . What sport are you going to watch?

Great news @isaxx brilliant to hear.
@Penguinsa the end in sight for dd! I do know what you mean re hair- life was simple with none!
@TopOfTheCliff that must have felt wonderful. Hope the wake preparations go well. Today is the first anniversary of dms funeral - finally took most of her books to the lovely national trust bookshop. I know she would have approved.
@GrannyGoggles welcome- vent away. My brilliant pt warned me I’d hit a low when “ the circus leaves town” when everyone expects us to be ecstatic.

Just popping on to say I've touched down safely and it is stunning! Lovely group of people too. Will update with pics when I can . Don't think I'd be here right now if it wasn't for this wonderful supportive thread!

@MissMarplesNiece I am going to watch the sailing in Marseilles with a friend. We were both extremely competitive Laser sailors in our younger days.

@Penguinsa you remind me of DD1 aged 3 who sobbed when the hairdresser didn’t make her hair longer as she had asked. It’s a fine balance between stylish chic and rock chick. I’m going longer currently and it’s a bit wild!

@ClashCityRocker I am so pleased for you. And very envious! Have a wonderful time xx

Have a wonderful time Clash Glad you made it.

Thanks Sandwich

Top Yes I think that's the issue I want the hairdresser to make my hair exactly like it was pre chemo longer and straighter. The waviness is fine but needs to be less thick. She's on mission impossible especially as I will freeze in silence when she asks what I want then she will enthusiastically come up with an idea which I will agree with and then I am very enthusiastic at the end, it generally looks OK but the length goes. I have got some hats if it goes very wrong. 😂

Have an amazing time @ClashCityRocker ! We're at Birmingham airport early since people have been in two hour queues for security but we got through quite quickly. Still don't feel as though I'm going on holiday 😂.

My chemo hair is better than my old hair, will be sad to lose the chemo curls.

My hair seems to be falling out, either that or it's breaking off, I'm not sure which. It was bad enough to block the plughole when I had a shower.

Have a wonderful holiday Sierra

Sorry to hear about your hair MissMarplesNiece

Hello lovely ones
Did the look good , feel better make up course today. Such fun!

Glad the course was good Nappy

Hairdresser went well, got a different one to before and she was so lovely and did exactly what I wanted and only took a tiny bit off the length and just tidied the rest and she said what I have is called a layered bob. DH and I both got a tea and biscuits there, the ones they give you on Eurostar and they did a head massage too.

DD went out to see her boyfriend and is back now. DS took a bath whilst we were out (could tell as 3 shampoo and conditioner bottles were knocked over, he's quite clumsy and he was also washing his clothes in the machine himself).

@Penguinsa got to do a hairdresser soon. I've got a Tintin bit at the front and the start of a curly mullet at the back!
But hate hairdressers at the best of times
Yours seems to have done a good job.
I always have to wash mine as hate the feel of the blow dryng and stuff

I also had a hair cut today and had the colour redone, so that the 'ah fuck it' blonde I had when it started to grow back after chemo can work its way out gradually. I'd ended up with a hard line of dyed/undyed. I now have very tasteful (and expensive) highlights. It's funny - I'd never dyed my hair in my life before cancer but I am quite enjoying something completely different, especially given that it's never going to be like it was before (shoulder length, wavy, very dark brown with natural streaks of grey).

How are you both doing @GrannyGoggles and @Catunderling ?

That’s good news @Penguinsa I’m glad there was no crying.

@MissMarplesNiece are you on drugs that are affecting your hair? Or is it stress related from the massive surgery you had? The latter will grow back thankfully. It is still distressing though.

@nappybrained good for you! It helps to feel confident about yourself after all the crappy stuff.

I fell off my bike today coming back from a great physio session. Luckily I just skinned my knee but I was so cross with myself. I sat for an hour with frozen peas on my knee but it seems better tonight. We are having a huge tidy-up before holding DFILs wake here. It’s fabulous! DH is clearing lots of his rubbish/treasured hoard out. Every little helps!

Wishing all the holidaymakers a fabulous time. Share photos please!

I am having a better week, no headaches or bouts of crying. I had acupuncture for my neuropathy today which is always nice as my acupuncturist is so lovely. Exercise physiology tomorrow. I think keeping busy helps hugely with my mental health.

DD has finished her latest round of exams and has a few days off school. DS is home with a cold. So I have a part time gig running Mum’s cafe.

@dotty2 im building up to a haircut. It’s looking a bit wild at the mo with a lot more grey. I had very long hair that I’d highlighted blonde before the chemo.

Week ten of an eleven week term and people are dropping like flies.

@MissMarplesNiece hope you don’t lose much hair. Get on the biotin - I really think it helps with regrowth.

@Remaker good that you are more balanced this week and have listened to your body and are practicing self care.

I came home today (half day) and went to bed. I woke at 5am and couldn’t back to sleep so I was just fried. That, work and the gardening on Monday have made me feel like I’ve been run over. I’ve not been doing enough exercise due to the sinus thing which is still rumbling away.

Better times are coming I hope!

That's great you got your hair sorted Dotty I am allergic to hair dye though luckily mine has come back same colour as before with only minimal grey underneath not too visible. I do tend to put a home dye on that though DD has been in again to tell me not to as she says I could die. I have been getting several warnings about needing to not die this week from DD. I will do my best.

Hair looks fine now after I have just brushed it but miss old hair which was shoulder length and would stay looking fine all day. This starts looking a bit wild in about 10 minutes and actually it looks remarkably similar to before today. The hairdresser did say she was putting product in it and put a clear spray in it and it stayed put and looking good after that, that maybe what I need rather than haircuts. But no idea what product means. I didn't like to ask as then you get the sales pitch. Good thing was it worked in 10 secs, I watched some videos on post chemo hair and the girls were spending what seemed like hours styling theirs and it looked much better after but can't be faffed with all that. It was before hair drying she put it in. I am clueless on these things. It's OK now but it's almost 2 years on. I suspect will be another year before it's like hair was before unless it never comes back. DH always wants me to get it back to old hair too and I would prefer it as it was easier and looked nice. Never thought about that never happening. I think it's also as that hair I don't associate with cancer or chemo and associate it with being back to normal.

@Penguinsa it might just be a spray to hold it in position like a hair lacquer? Wax would be rubbed in and the foamy conditioners are white and creamy and smell of coconuts.I often bring them home but it never looks as good when I do it. I’ve got highlights in and a bit of a tan and am getting lots of compliments. Also now I’m back on the bike weight is dropping off! Go me! Only about a stone to go 🙄
Today I had to shave my legs and I even have hairy toes again now 😂
Chemo did have some bonuses!
Knee has healed overnight. I love human bodies they are amazing.

Thanks Top I think it probably is something like a de-frizz holding spray, just ordered one and will see, it did seem to make quite a difference for the hour at least until I washed it. Though would be surprised if move around the effect goes.

Well done on the weight loss. I have found losing the treatment weight gain has really helped with appearance especially face and neck though sadly have to be careful with sugar now or can get swelling. I just have 0.5kgs to go before normal BMI according to NHS and my scales reckon even less. But I so want cake. I seem to be able to eat a couple of biscuits fine.

Glad to read that your knee has healed @TopOfTheCliff .

I think my hair falling out might be due to some vitamin/mineral deficiency. My GP has recently done some blood tests but the results aren't back yet. I will try some Biotin. I bought some of that shampoo that (whispering voice here) "women over 40" use (lol). I'm sceptical but it was on offer in the shop. I'm badly in need of a hair cut - I normally cut my own but feel like treating myself to a proper salon visit.

Thank you all for the welcome.

@TopOfTheCliff I have done a Moving Forward course. Unfortunately, I’m in the minority who found it harmful rather than helpful. The unresolved trauma of several participants re traumatised me, and the whole experience fed into anxiety and subsequently depression. I know others have found it helpful, I guess it’s yet another example of how everyone has to find their own way through. Like you, I (usually) am a Tigger, struggling with Eyore tendencies at the moment.

@thesandwich love your pt’s phrase about the circus leaving town. My oncologist told me several times that many people find the year after treatment harder than treatment itself. I remember thinking ‘Nooo, not me! Get through this and I’ll be good.’

Hair, OMG, hair. I’m old, didn’t think I was particularly vain, was never a mane tossing sort. Coped with hair loss reasonably pragmatically, had a buzz cut v early on, didn’t get on with wigs, wore a lot of hats. But I am so struggling with regrowth, particularly the sodding curls. Unlike @SierraSapphire I long to be rid of them, they feel like an extra punishment! I do not look like me, and worse I look just like my mother did at this age, when she’d been diagnosed with terminal cancer having been successfully treated for breast cancer almost 20 years previously. Props to all of you for working out how best to get on with the whole loss/regrowth thing. I do not think anyone who has not experienced it has a flipping clue, and if I hear ‘but it’s only temporary’ one more time I may commit an act of violence.

In an attempt to sound less whingey, exercise - resistance, yoga, walking, gardening all help, as does generally trying to keep myself positively occupied with work and socially. And off to Brittany next week, hopefully, if husband well enough (that’s a tale for another time) Patience required to work through this bump on the recovery road.

THANK YOU!

Good to hear your knee has healed @TopOfTheCliff .
on the hair front- would any of these be helpful?https://lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk/workshops/?type=virtual&iam=Woman&k_4=4&postcode=&morning=1&afternoon=1&evening=1&any=1&submit=View+Workshops