The Great Recovery part 2 - After Cancer treatment what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished treatment for cancer, be NED or in remission, or it’s just a lull between storms. You don’t want to dwell on the past but look forward to the future. You know you need to eat well, get fitter and pick up the strands of life again. This is the thread for you with fellow travellers. Join us!

There is the General Cancer thread for those in active treatment:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4969445-cancer-support-thread-92-christmas-happy-hour-at-the-patience-inn-7pm-tonight?page=10&reply=132553156

And there is the Stage IV thread for those whose treatment is ongoing:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/life_limiting_illness/stage-iv-cancer-incurable-roll-up-roll-up-this-thread-is-for-you?reply=132555664

@ClashCityRocker What a beautiful place you've been visiting - and brilliant that you've been feeling so energetic.

My pictures aren't as dramatic as @ClashCityRocker's but we're having a lovely relaxing time. Lots of swimming. It's going so quickly though.

Well done in getting through your week @dotty2 - i think you might be on the E Mids line there were two people under trains last week, which you probably know, which is sad. On the hospital visits, DM was in a different hospital to my treatment, which gave some distance and two years on I feel better than I did, but when she was linked to the IV it gave me a flashback to chemo that was pretty unpleasant. Only do what you can, I know it's hard.

Thanks for the article @Remaker - will have a read. And great you're coming back to the UK @FairyWren7 - I'm E Mids if you're anywhere near there.

Now off for a morning walk along the promenade whilst DD sleeps in!

Loving the holiday photos. Your trip looks so dramatic and inspiring, @ClashCityRocker Well done for being brave enough to take it on. And enjoy feeling clean! While yours might not be as dramatic @SierraSapphire it does look very nice , and I’m so glad you got away.

I didn’t know that about the trains. It was a broken down freight train on Friday, but that’s very sad.

thank you for the kind words about my DF too everyone

Adding to supportive words for @dotty2 Your thoughts and feelings round your father are not selfish, they are human and understandable

@SierraSapphire That looks like a lovely relaxing place to be.

Back in civilization!

There were a few 'why the hell am I doing this moments' when dealing with a 2.5 metre swell in the driving rain or trying to take a tent down in gale force winds but it was a really special time. The 24 hour daylight really does a number on your body clock - we were falling asleep at like 3am.

Highlights were kayaking alongside dolphins and spotting numerous eagles and just the general great team of people and camaraderie around the camp fire.

Lowlights were attempting to dig a hole to empty my bowels at 4am in the morning in the aforementioned gale and driving rain! I also struggled with the hiking a bit - I've done a few hikes in preparation but these were more like vertical scrambles and my hips are still not as flexible as they used to be after the radiotherapy.

We actually only had a couple of days of bad weather, the rest of the time it was quite fair - even t shirt weather at some points.

Ah glad you got away @SierraSapphire it does look very beautiful and peaceful. I feel like I could do with a relaxing break!

And scanning back I see you've got the all clear @isaxx which is fantastic news and must be such a relief

Thanks everyone. DD and I are currently in Borneo and have limiredWiFi at the moment. It's been a lovely break and seen orangutans and sunbears in Sepilok today, staying at Sepilok Nature Resort. Just back from Kinabantagan river where we had several boat trips and saw orangutans, pygmy elephants, crocodile, probiscus monkeys, other monkeys and birds in the wild. Hotel there had 600 wooden steps but amazing. Also went to Agnes Newton Keith's house. Few pics from Sepilok and ANK house. Hope everyone is fine, will catch up on return.

That looks amazing Clash, well done. Lovely pics Sierra.

Elephants on river

It is wonderful to see the photos from your adventures @Penguinsa and @ClashCityRocker . I hope it inspires the newbies to believe that life will get better again!

We are nearly at the end of the second thread. How far have we come? Back in February I was two weeks post hip replacement and three months out from finishing chemotherapy. I was walking on crutches and about 5kg heavier than I am now. Four months on I am back on my road bike, rode 30 hilly miles yesterday with the Club and I am back sailing and racing my boat. My house is currently tidy too. I am pain free and on minimal medication and my hair looks reasonably normal again. I have even booked two holidays for the next couple of months.
What I have taken on board from the wise people who guide me is that this process of recovery is slow! There are no shortcuts and rushing is counterproductive. Being gentle on yourself and don't push too hard. Eat healthily but don't diet. Exercise but gently and listen to your body. Stay away from Google and expect to be terrified by scans, blood tests and visits to the hospital. Cancer treatment is traumatic and survivors have been traumatised by it!

Maybe there will be days when we forget we had cancer, and don't need this thread. But then an appointment pops up and the Dread recurs and we come scurrying back. I passed the Four Years Since Diagnosis milestone last week. The Two Years Since Second Diagnosis is looming too. The good news is I am okay, still pottering onward and feeling fine. I hope that is true for the rest of you too.

Fantastic inspiring pictures @ClashCityRocker @SierraSapphire and @Penguinsa. It is fantastic to read how you have achieved those adventures, as well as @TopOfTheCliff back doing what you love.
work in progress here, two years since active treatment, dealing with failing dm, her passing, and all that entailed plus probate, and managing her property, which we hope will complete this week or next. And still struggling with side effects of ais- and onc who are unwilling to prescribe topical oestrogen. Plus the occasional mini adventure and lovely weeks by the sea, and lovely times with special people.

What a lovely message, @TopOfTheCliff .

@Penguinsa It sounds like my dream trip, I've always wanted to visit Borneo - my dad was posted there a long, long time ago and told me lots about the wildlife.

I'm so glad you have managed your long postponed trip @Penguinsa - great to see your photos.

@TopOfTheCliff - thank you so much for your thoughtful post, and for all the encouragement on the thread. I'm not sure I have achieved much progress towards my goals since February, which is perhaps a sign that I need a bit more focus and I'm planning to look for a PT or an online programme for the autumn (thanks for your recommendation too). OTOH, I have got through my LVA surgery and have also lived a lot of quite normal life with some mini adventures and nice times with friends and family along the way. And that's also part of recovery.

@dotty2 Cannot recommend Get Me Back too highly. Run by women who have had cancer and totally ‘get it’. Yoga and strength work, live classes and a library of videos, all on line

@Penguinsa oh those pictures are making me really miss that part of the world! I loved Sepilock - got so close to baby orungutangs Just wonderful! There’s a place near Miri called Mulu which I think is one of the most amazing places. We stayed there a couple of times, one Christmas and watched the thousands of bats spiral out of the caves. I miss the heat, the smell the greenery. I loved living nearer the equator, I hate the cold! Enjoy!

Have you read Land Below the Wind and Three Came Home by Agnes Keith - both well worth a read.

Last day tomorrow, unless they decide to pay me for extra marking. It’s a mixed bag - on a good day it’s awesome! I taught a great final lesson to all of year 11 - one teacher absent, another in a meeting. The system is just overstretched. I think it might have been my last for a while at least, I’ll still do the University online course that I’ve planned and may do a bit more supply when I get back from my travels - ironically I will be paid the same but 9-3 and no marking or planning. But the things I love about teaching, the seeing the kids make progress, supporting them etc are all being eroded by the sheer amount of admin, a curriculum that allows no time for creativity and students who are increasingly more entitled.

Off to Adelaide on Thursday we are doing a big drive there and back via the Barossa valley and Mildura, Lake Mungo a place I’ve wanted to visit for a while but we’ve had to wait for cooler weather!

Loving the travel stories!

Have a wonderful time in Adelaide Fairywren I have Land Below the Wind with me on holiday, I loved the way it took her 6 weeks to get here from the US in the 1930s and you realise how much the world has changed in less than 100 years but in some ways stayed similar.

Going to Rainforest Discovery Centre tomorrow, just had a lazy day today around hotel but there's all the sounds of the rainforest, beautiful tropical gardens and lake and lovely meals. This is view from our room. The waiter asked DD if I was her sibling 😂 and then blushed so much and apologised to DD when I said I was her Mum. Then he drew her picture and gave it to her. She's blonde and think she has an admirer.

Yes since February everything has gone well though really appreciate as you are very aware that could change quickly at any point. Loving Borneo, hope you get to go MissMarples and anyone else who wants to go, long flights but amazing place and very good value over here. Pretty easy to DIY.

I agree Top that steps is the best way to go for recovery and we are all doing so well.

View from room.

I was so conflicted when I got up today. On Sunday I went out cycling and rode 30 hilly miles. I was slow and exhausted and some of the group were a bit impatient. They went on ahead so it was all fine. My friends looked after me and gave me lots of encouragement. Today I was unsure about going again, as I hate being the slow one at the back. In the end I had words with myself and went out. I was slow and at the back but nice people stayed with me and nobody was bothered. It’s a mental battle. I could stay at home and bemoan my loss of strength and use it as an excuse to avoid hard rides, or I could be brave and get out there and suffer and hopefully get fitter. I’ve ridden fifty miles so far this week so I ought to be pleased with myself. Why do I care what people think? They don’t know what I have overcome to get this far!

Yes it's a bit awkward when you are the one going slowest in a group activity. In swimming I am back to being one of the fastest or the fastest but walking I can do about 2 hours on flatish land OK but more challenging or longer and I still struggle. The jungle hotel had 600 wooden and wonky steps going up a hill and there was 8 of us staying, the rest were all superfit and or about 7 foot tall sporty men so I was the slowest on the stairs plus you had to carry luggage up. First day we got up at 4am to get flight from Kuala Lumpur to Sandakan which took 3 hours then taxi to a gardens and house walked round then transfer to jungle and up the 600 stairs with luggage and then down them and a walk for boat trip which was 2 hours then up 600 steps again in the dark and more steps for all the meals or to get to rooms. Second day was similar with a 5.30am boat trip and a 3.30pm boat trip, 3 meals and there was also a 2 hour uphill walk. I did it all apart from the 2 hour walk which apparently no wildlife was seen on but stairs were awkward as I was slowest but everyone was kind and DD said on the walk they were all saying how amazing I was to do this trip on my own after cancer and said they knew it would be the cancer treatment having made me slower. And DD said I told them my Mum maybe a bit slow at walking but she is the fastest swimmer as I didn't want them to think you were weak. One of the guys carried my bag down the last day and really appreciated that. Its so much better than just after treatment though. Well done for carrying on Top. It's also OK to rest sometimes.

Oh penguinsa those pictures are amazing and make me want to plan some more tropical adventures!

@TopOfTheCliff I can totally relate and it was one of my biggest fears on the Norway trip. I was the definite back marker when hiking but like you I had a couple of lovelies who took it slowly with me. The first hike I was a bit miserable about it tbh and thinking of backing out of the second one.

But actually, fuck it, I enjoy slow hiking anyway and having time to take in the scenery without it feeling like a race and my companions seemed more than happy to take it a bit of a dawdle.

It sounds like the people who wanted to go ahead did anyway and after all, by doing things is how we improve.

On the kayaking, I was often at the front of the pack (more experience = better technique which usually wins over brute strength on a long haul) but often dropped back to pass the time, shoot the breeze and take in the scenery. I don't think I've ever felt resentful of someone in a mixed ability group - after all, it isn't a race and provided it's going at a pace so you can get where you need to be by the time you need to be it, it shouldn't matter would speed you go at provided you can keep within a safe distance.

And do you know what, now I'm home and back and everyone (including me!) thinks what an amazing thing to do.

Noone cares that I was a slow hiker, or that I occasionally needed a bit of extra help with portage or that I couldn't do a sprint finish to the summit like a couple of the lads did.

You cycled that distance, it's yours!

I've sometimes felt the slowest or worst at swim club or tennis, though I don't think it's really cancer that's done it for me. It's just being a 55 year old woman competing against 20 or 30 something men in particular but also younger women. I am often the fastest person in the pool, but swim club has younger people who have been properly trained, which I haven't. I do wish there was more age and sex matching. I refused to return some serves from a couple of very competitive men in tennis a couple of weeks ago because I was worried I was going to get injured they were hitting it so hard. Other middle aged / older women say that too, so it's not necessarily a cancer thing although I know many of us feel that we are slower because of cancer treatment.

In terms of the intentions you encouraged us to set for this thread Top, my main one was to sort my business out, but actually I have resolved this by getting a job instead, the business has just started to have so many downsides for me. They've sent me through a load of paperwork whilst I was away for the job, I'm a bit nervous about what I need to put on the medical form although I haven't looked at any of it yet, I don't really like declaring I've had cancer. And on the one hand I do want to say I need flexible working because of issues around tiredness (like being able to put in hours very early in the morning as that's when I wake up and that's when I work best) but I don't want to appear like I need special treatment. It may be the role allows that flexibility anyway without me needing to ask for it.

We're back from Spain. I'm tired and hot though!

Looking back at the start of the thread I was really struggling with sciatica and Norway seemed an impossibility.

I was getting very frustrated with myself and my body as well as being stressed about work as going through an acquisition.

I also spent a lot of time worrying about my health. I probably worried a whole load of new problems into existence!

Well, I've done Norway and I am at the point where I feel I am not too far off my pre treatment fitness levels - the hips aren't as flexible as they used to be so I'm going to work on that.

Work wise things have settled down - and I feel that I'm mentally in a position to focus on it a bit more. I've also signed up to restart my English literature degree that I put on hold when my husband died.

Next targets are to maintain or improve fitness levels and particularly flexibility and focus a bit more on nourishing the mind as well as the body.

Reading ..
I went swimming in the learner pool!
I really felt if lost a buoyancy aid and id almost forgotten to swim. But I grabbed a noodle,staked my place and exercised my arm and the rest plus blinking heck!!