Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

oh my goooooooooood- I knew I have an addictive personality...but this is ridculous!!!
Friends left about 2pm - had a really good evening...but I was positively saintly (ie not too pissed) and DP was posiitvely RUINED! He so could have gone to bed but insisted on sitting up and swaying until 4 and all i wanted to do was get onto MN and find out how everyone was doing!
How is everyone??
Expat - how are things??? It sounds like the news good? You must be chuffed to bits...
FAQ - are you around? How are you doing? Are you up for Monday?
Dinny - congrats to you and niece. I've recently become a god mother for the first time and I'm very proud!
Tonight for me has made the prospect of Monday harder - I had fun tonight and booze was part of the evening.
Anyone around and fancy a chat for 1/2 hour - I'm here (my comma key has stopped working on pc which is why there's an absence of them...)
I admit now I'm p'd as a fart but still just about with it - I'll probably cringe when if I read this back tomorrow...!
Gerbra x

oh my goooooooooood- I knew I have an addictive personality...but this is ridculous!!!
Friends left about 2pm - had a really good evening...but I was positively saintly (ie not too pissed) and DP was posiitvely RUINED! He so could have gone to bed but insisted on sitting up and swaying until 4 and all i wanted to do was get onto MN and find out how everyone was doing!
How is everyone??
Expat - how are things??? It sounds like the news good? You must be chuffed to bits...
FAQ - are you around? How are you doing? Are you up for Monday?
Dinny - congrats to you and niece. I've recently become a god mother for the first time and I'm very proud!
Tonight for me has made the prospect of Monday harder - I had fun tonight and booze was part of the evening.
Anyone around and fancy a chat for 1/2 hour - I'm here (my comma key has stopped working on pc which is why there's an absence of them...)
I admit now I'm p'd as a fart but still just about with it - I'll probably cringe when if I read this back tomorrow...!
Gerbra x

Paperchain

• you sound like you've had a really rough time of it. Hope you find some help from this thread - I know I have.... Glowwormish - I think I am one of the fellow self-employed you mentioned - had a total nightmare recently...my hardrive died before easter taking with it all my work and all my software. My DP works in IT and it didn't take him long to diagnose total 'f**k up' - no chance in saving anything. (My pc sounded like a car indicator so even I knew things didn't look good...) As a result I had to work through easter - stopping between 10 and 11 every night - and my first thought was wine - literally a switch off point (I'm using '-' instead of 'comma' btw). I'm going to find not having the glass of wine to signal the end of work very difficult. After dinny's post - I logged onto Down your drink and you had to list everything you'd had in the last week - car crash - seriously! It was a wake up call to see it in writing cos I know it can't go on long term... Hoping everyone's well and looking forward to regaining the use of my comma key (apparently DP can fix it tomorrow when sober...) gerbrax

Forgot to say - I'm there for the sober Monday night...the more the merrier - reckon if there's a few of us doing it we'll help each other out...
(I WANT MY COMMA KEY BACK...whoever knew commas were so integral to life!)

and have now realised I've effectively been chatting to myself!!!
Still - you can't say it's a sign of madness if you do it via the Internet ??
x

Morning All

morning! me and my mum worked out how much my dad drinks and we reckon it is about 70-100 units pw

that's my motivation really.

Hi everyone...I was really good last night and did not have any booze at all. Although I did end up having 2 bottles of rose on friday night, then ended up awake till 3am playing cinco on sun bingo, drinking tea to sober up!. I turned down an invite for drinks at a friends last night as I knew I would not be able to say no to more wine... feeling great this morning. Not going to drink tonight and am joining in with you all for booze free monday! x

Morning - I feel 105 years old this morning -totally excessive alcoholic weekend - as predicted. At this point I'd usually be going back over the evening (+ MN posts) and beating myself up for saying/doing various things but as part of my new 'be nice to myself' policy I'm going to try not to!
Excitement today is a trip to Maplins to get a keyboard repair kit and then wallpaper stripping - can hardly contain my excitement!
Well done all you booze free people - I should post a picture of me this morning as inspiration to stick with it!
Have a good day everyone - am mentally gearing up for no-booze Monday
gerbrax

well done, everyone!

I haven't drunk since Wed evening and I feel quite crap this morning, tired and bleary-eyed... is that alcohol withdrawal, anyone know? yuk! if so, wonder when it will get better?!

Hey Dinny- I don't think you drink enough to get withdrawals- if you havn't drank since Wednesday I doubt its that.

Some days you may just feel crap!

I'm no medical expert though

thanks, Teasle, just feel worn out!

Wat sort of physical problems do people suffer from through drink?. On and off now for the past couple of years I get a really sore and cracked tongue. I have one now although I've had worse in the past. Don't know if its drinking or not. I googled it a while ago but couldn't find any link with alcohol. However when I went to the gps with it the first question he asked was how much do I drink. Of course I lied. He gave me some super power mouth rinse which took the skin off my tongue!!

Oh forgot to ask, if anyone else does suffer from this any tips? I found that making sure I drink plenty of water helps a little as does bonjela. I know I should abstain because I'm sure if alcohol doesn't cause it, I'm sure it aggravates it.

Glowormish, I'd say on first instinct it was a B vitamin deficiency, sure have heard of it sure someone more knowlegeable will post soon. Dinny x

Hi dinny
have googled it again. yes b vit deficiency seems to be the order of the day but my PMT appears to be re-emerging and this can also be exacerbated by b vit deficiency so have been very careful with b vits. I think i might have to cut down pn caffeine which i know inhibits absorbtion of these vits.
Also stress comes up alot which I know I am and conicides when the stress started (Big time)

i know am being paranoid but am always thinking about mouth cancer. the thought horrifies me.

Hi folks, wow the thead has been busy - I've been away this weekend. First thing I wanted to say that FAQ, I think you need to see the GP asap, this rapid pogession of your drink problem is only going to get worse if you leave it as it is. I think you've probably been dependent for a while, but this situation with your H has been a catalyst for this quick descent into pretty serious addiction. HAs your H mentioned anything about it? I don't know how things are between you at the moment, but I'm sure that you wouldn't want to give him anything to use against you where the DC are concerned. How are you managing with the wee ones if you're top-up drinking? YOu need help with this FAQ and very soon. You'll find loads of support on this thread, but ultimately you have to take action with this.

I've posted loads on these threads about health problems, strategies for sobriety if anyone wants to take some time to read back. BUt, the first thing to do is start really simple. Try not to think too far ahead, take eash day as it comes and try not to drink JUST FOR THAT DAY. Don;t think about yesterday or tomorrow, just the day in hand. That's achievable isn't it? One day? That's what I've been doing for a long time - making resolutions that we're going to stop for a year, or a month is bound to fail if haven't tried a day, then another day, then another day. Does that makes sense?

Also, for people who have issues with not being able to stop once they start - here's something to tell yourself:

If you don't lift the first drink, you can't get drunk.

Don't buy it, don't think 'I'll have just two or three', that doesn't work. Once the first drink has been taken, those of us who've been in this position know that all bets are off. Once the first drink has been lifted, there's no going back. So, does that sound more achievable than limiting yourself to two, then beating yourself up the next day because you've had two bottles instead?

I would say guys, that there are no easy answers to dealing with a drink problem, but each one of us has to make that decision. Do we really want to deal with it? There's a lot of help out there, and many of us are still dealing with our alcoholism - in recovery - on a daily basis. If you take anything from this thread at all, let it be this: there are alternatives to getting hammered every night, and you can live a happy, sober and productive life. You just need to put in that wee bit of effort, be completely honest with yourself and be willing to make those changes. No-one can do it for us.

Hey Kokeshi

Hi teasle, how ya? I'm not long back. I was surprised at how good the weather turned out to be. Was fully expecting to be snowed on the whole weekend. I was always cold when I was a student there. I'm tired though!

hello all,

I haven't posted in here before, but I have been an avid reader and found it really helpful.

I haven't had a drink since Jan 1st, and was very proud of myself, let me tell you.

I fell off the wagon in spectacular fashion last night though. Don't even really know why. I was upset, and a bit angry and thought I would have a glass of wine, and 1 bottle, plus 1/2 a bottle of vodka later, I felt even more upset and angry.

I'm going to read kokeshi's post again, because those are some wise words....

Haven't had a drink today, because I feel awful. Hopefully, this lapse will remind me why I wanted to stop, and I will try to remember that I worked so bloody hard at it, and felt much better. I am quite tearful and down on myself though, but that's probably not going to help, is it?
Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Hi everyone. I haven't drunk tonight! Mainly becuase I went out last night and drank loads so was slightly hungover, then as soon as kids were in bed I was on the phone to my mum till 9, then I had an internal battle for half an hour, decided not to bother, and .. hurray! One day down.

I read a few posts at the beginning of the thread, and some of you go to AA. Can you tell me what it's like? I imagine the meetings as predominantly male, a bit faux sincere, a bit cringe-making, rather than friendly and welcoming ... I also imagine them as directed at older people, mid-40s to 50s. I know these assumptions are based on nothing except maybe scenes from films.

Hi joaiaiao,

I think you have made a really valid point about last night- you said you were upset and a bit angry.

I spent years drinking on my emotions, on anger and resentments. I didn't learn how to handle them, but instead drank on them.

Now I am sober, and have to cope with life as it comes along, and that means coping with feelings too, even unpleasant ones, but my default reaction was always to reach for a drink.

Brilliant that you have kept alcohol free for that amount of time- don't give up after one slip.

Hi Jaoi,
For what it's worth I think you've done brilliant to stay sober since jan 1st. Remember you've only slipped one night, and that (in my opinion) doesn't invalidate what you've done up til now...
I imagine that emotionally that's a big blow, but try and bear in mind how well you've done, tomorrow's another day, clean slate etc.
Gerbrajess

Jaoi, firstly, well done for staying sober for that amount of time, a fantastic achievement! Try not to get to hung up on last nith - I know it's hard though. If you can, look upon it as a learning experience, what do you know from drinking last night that you didn't know the night before? That you don't want to go back there? That you can identify your enotional triggers? These are all really important milestones in recovery. It's not a waste or a failure if you can see how this lapse can benefit your sobriety or strenghten your resolve.

Coco, there are loads of different meetings. Some exclusively for women. Perhaps 30 years ago your idea of an AA meeting may have been accurate in terms of gender and ag), but more and more woman are finding that AA can offer the support they need. Also, Drinkers who find AA earlier tend to have a better chance of making it sooner than bottom end drunks who've lost everything.

My home group is made up of 6 female and one male member. We have both male and female attendees too and our average age is probably about 35ish. I started going to AA when I was 25, so you're never too young IMO.

Interestingly, I have never experienced 'fake' sincerity and I think that's what kept me going back. I truly felt that those people cared what happened to me, and were absolutely willing to give me their time in order that I get sober too. Don't get hung up in dramatisations, they're never flattering (especially the american ones!)