Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

How are you expat?

i'm okay.

going for a scan tomorrow.

not really nervous, just want to know one way or another.

still nauseated and vomitting.

smelled Bailey's the other day and threw up.

I've been there too, its a horrible time.

Hello, everyone,

I posted on this thread ages ago and then didn't for a while, but I wanted to again as it's really inspiring. I don't think I drink a huge amount but I have started to feel uncomortable drinking, as if I am being compelled to do so and am not in control. I'd really like to think of my life without alcohol, as every time I have more than a glass of wine, I wake up in the morning feeling guilt and regret.

I also feel very anxious about various things in my life, and wonder if alcohol could be making me anxious?

Could anyone give me some tips/tales of how they stopped and stayed focused on abstaining? I alsways end up going, "Oh, feck it...." And - against my own will! - having a glass or three.

Thanks, Dinny

Fingers crossed for you.

Oh, and Expat, all the best tomorrow x

HI Dinny.

What are YOUR reasons for wanting to adress your drinking? If you feel you have a compulsion, then that would suggest a problem ?

I guess everyones path and story is different- the events that led me to sort out my own drinking will be different from the other posters.

Why not give it a go for just one day at a time?

Actually, if you can be bothered, its a really good idea to read over old posts- some people have given fantastic ideas and advice for stopping drinking, or cutting down.

Is this any help?

Hi, Teasle

Um, think my reasons for wanting to stop are:

because I think my dad's heart problem could have been caused/made worse by habitually heavy drinking

when I look back, I just see I have been drinking all the time since 17/18 and wonder why

it makes me not do the things I want to do, if I have a glass of wine or whatever (like read etc)

and, mainly, as you say, I do feel a compulsion

yes, have been reading thread, it's really helpful

Hey Teasle and Jellibabe thanks for replying. Feeling really f...ed up right now. I act so cool with DP I am such an idiot and so very drunk god gonna feel this tomorrow !!!!

Hey Teasle and Jellibabe thanks for replying. Feeling really f...ed up right now. I act so cool with DP I am such an idiot and so very drunk god gonna feel this tomorrow !!!!

what happened to me I used to be so strong and opionated and now I am such a sap so weak and anything for a quiet life !!!!! beyond

Why don't you join in the thread then? The more the merrier- its been a bit quiet recently!

Do you want to stop completely or cut down?
CAN you control your drinking- its just that I tried to control my drinking for ages, before finally having to admit to myself that I couldn't. Its really hard to admit- after all, denial is integral to alcoholism.

Welcome to the thread Dinny- there are lots of people in similar positions to you, regards your drinking, so you're not alone.

Sorry- my last post was to Dinny.

Unhappy I am so sorry you are in such a bad space.

Expat, just to let you know that you'll be in my thoughts tomorrow when you go for the scan. I hope you get some answers.

Dinny, good advice from teasle. Can I ask how much you drink? If you're dependent and have been drinking at those levels for a long time, it may be dangerous to go cold turkey and you should see your GP first.

Sorry your having a hard time unhappy. How do you think you can move on from this? Essentially, I think, it will be easier on you if you can try to accept the situation as it is? You know, try to change your reaction to it? Work on how you can make your own life happier I guess.

jellibabe, well done for being sober since monday, that's an achievement.

What is everyone planning for the weekend? If you're trying to avoid drinking what will you do instead? Planning is essential IME, especially in the early days.

I'm off to Aberdeen to see Dp's mother. It'll be really strange actually, that's where I think my drink problem really developed, when I was at uni. Will be weird to see the old place sober!

Hurrah- where you been recently K? Missed you on the thread

Unhappy when my head f*ked up I find it really help full to spill it all out on paper. It makes what I'm thinking a little clearer to me. Gives me a chance to review my thoughts to when I'm not feeling quite so emotional.

Do you still love you DP? Are you still together? Optional - just nosey.

thanks, Teasle, you're so nice! did you used to have another nickname?

I think I could possibly just drink if I go out, but then worry would then let that be a carte blanche and start drinking at home

just can't think how to stop the automatic drinking of wine tomorrow night when kids are in bed....

tonight is fine, working late

Actually, I can't stress enough how important planning was and indeed IS for me.

Kokeshi, hello

um, I probably drink as follows in a typical week at home.

Monday - half bottle wine max
Tuesday - half bottle usually
Wednesday half bottle usually
Thursday - nothing
Friday - bottle usually (max)
Saturday - nothing usually, sometimes one glass
Sunday - half a bottle max

God, that's awful seeing it written down sad]

Well, I know you'll all now stay up REALLY late and bond and stuff, but i'm off to bed.

Jellibabe- thats a really good suggestion, and something I do too- write things down.

Night all.xx

Hi everyone, looks like I missed rush hour on the thread!
Expat everything crossed for you tomorrow, hope the news is good
...
My resolve is set and monday is the day for my one (first) night not drinking. I envisage the nights between now and then might be a bit pissed! Would normally dread it but am going to spend weekend getting myself excited about possible sobreity. I know it's only a night for starters, but in the right direction!
Hope everyone else is well. Well done Jellibabe!! I would will be so chuffed when I get to that point!
night night (am going to bed more sober than I have been in ages)
Gerbrax

Dinny, I don't think you should suffer any sever withdrawals from drinking that amount, but make sure you eat well and get some B vitamin supplements (thiamine, especially important, see my previous posts), and drink loads of water.

An acronyms that I found helpful: HALT - don't get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. These can all trigger lapses, IME.

teasle, thanks for that! Those other threads irritated me more than they should have so I decided to step back for a wee bit. I wouldn't want anyone to feel I was being overbearing on here.

jellibabe, were you asking me about DP? If so yes, we have a very strong relationship. It does help that neither of us drink though! I'm a nutter on drink, really.

Gerbra, I think the trick is to try not to build it up too much in your head...wait till it arrives and just do what's in front of you. When you are finding it especially difficult, tell yourself it's only for today/this hour/this 15 minutes. Keep doing that until the day is out.

I know that sounds really bizarre, but it's the simple stuff that works. There's no point in stressing about yestrday, or what will happen next week. MAke the best of the day in hand, that's all of us have after all.

Kokeshi, thanks for that... what happens if you ARE tired? how do you deflect away from reaching for wine?

Well, just be mindful of it really, acknowledge that you're tired and accept that is how you're feeling. Too often we try to change how we feel by drinking instead of just sitting through it...or going to bed (like I should!)