Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

Me too, night night x

Gerbra you sound a lot like me. I am always worrying that things I say will be taken in away that wasn't intended.

If I was in that situation I would have appreciated that you were around online and that I was able to talk to you. Talking to people is so theraputic. In sad circumstances I find it hard not to run away from someones pain/feelings because I don't know the right thing to say.

Hope your having a better day today. x

HI everyone.

Ooh, Kokeshi- sounds nice having things tinted etc. I think you are spot on about treating yourself, or being kind to yourself.

Hi can I join in here? I've been reading all the posts and feel relieved that there are others out there that have same/similar issues with alcohol that I do... I guess I have always , well actually recently, felt that i need help with my drinking, as over the past years it has got worse. I don't drink every day, usually every 2-3 days, but when I do I can't just have a glass or two of wine. If I open a bottle it usually gets finished and then I go onto the second one.. recently I have have started drinking lower alcohol wines(9.5%) to
a. Stop me feeling too pied
b. lessen the hangover
c. Lets me drink more without the guilt?
I've always been known to enjoy a drink as have almost all my friends.. at college in the 80's cheap booze, crazy times in the 90's and kids and stress in relationship from late 90's to present. My DH drinks lager ( 2-4 cans)almost every night now and he always brings me at least 2 bottles of wine home too, although I don't always drink them. Friday night is the worst as we have got into this pattern of friday night being drinking/ relax night, in the past it has caused silly arguments and the usual saying of stuff when you are pied conversations that cause problems...
If I don't have a drink on a friday night I will do saturday night instead... I can go out for a meal and not have too much, but when we get home, we''ll crack on with more booze...
I haven't had a drink now since sunday ( I had 2 bottles of rose) and have woken up today feeling great cos I don't have that horrid had too much to drink, not feeling great and tired feeling!
Sorry that this is a long post.. but it just fantastic to know I can get this off my chest and not be judged...I guess I am a functioning alcoholic in some ways.. I need to learn how to relax when hubby comes home without sitting drinking wine..I REALLY WANT to get out of this pattern of behaviour .. but I do love rose wine and after years of this it's going to be hard... Thanks for listening.

HI fluxy and welcome to the thread. Its a huge step to initially admit you have a problem. Even though we use nicknames, it took me ages to get the courage together to write my first post.

How do you feel your drinking impacts on your life?

HI to everyone else.

fluxy I think if you set yourself a short term goal like a week or two you would really achieve something as you are so enamoured with the 'feeling good' that you may get hooked on that instead!Give it a go!I am not a problem drinker but my dp is a recovering alcoholic and he loves the 'well' feeling he ahs now and he even hates the groggy feeling of a late night in a smokey atmosphere as it reminds him a bit of hangovers.

Hi teasle and noddy! Thanks for your replies. It did take a lot of courage to write my first post.. it's all very well saying stuff to yourself but seeing the words in front of you for "strangers" to share is another matter altogether! Very liberating...
I think drinking to excess at times impacts on my life by making me generally lazy ( or too tired as I feel hung over...?) It also affects my mood as I can get quite down at times and in the past have suffered from mild depression. My zest for life wains at times too and I also sometimes feel as though I'm keeping a secret, not good...

Hi Fluxy,
I totally empathise with the 'secret' aspect. My closet friends know the actual extent I drink. My DP and I both drink but he actually doesn't know how much I drink. It feels so bad to keep things secret from him but I think he'd be horrified if he knew...which is partly why I keep the amount I drink secret. He doesn't want/need alcohol during the week and I don't think he'd understand that I (think I feel) I do.
Well done for posting and best of luck - the fact you've done a few days without is fantastic and like noddyholder said, the fact you're feeling good might help to spur you on.
Jellibabe thanks for the thoughts this morning. I'm eternally worrying about my words/actions and often drive my friends/DP to distraction asking them if what I said/did was out of order (most times, they look at me with ??? look).
Gerbrajess

Thank you all for your kinds words of support! You all don't know how this feels ( or maybe you do!!) just to share this with someone else. Gerbrajess, I don't think my Dh knows how much "extra" I drink.... on a good?/bad night I have been known to stay up after he has gone to bed, he will have had a couple of cans, and I will finish off the bottle of wine and then go in the pantry and drink "little" glasses of whatever I can find. This is usually limoncella or port..I don't do this very often, but I'm sure he doesn't know. If he does he never says anything. I've normally had enough/too much already and whilst I'm not staggering around, I should just go to bed.

You're nocturnal habits sound just like mine Fluxy3 (but mine sound more habitual sadly). Hope you get inspired by this thread, it's a huge relief to know that you're not alone and that there's non-judgmental and hugely helpful support available.
I'm definitely still an 'active' drinker, but am seeing myself more and more as a problem drinker and will hopefully be able to take the plunge and address it soon...I don't feel like I'm at that point yet, too scared maybe...
Good luck!
Gerbrax

Hi all
gebra...I can relate to what you're saying...I am at the point where I know its a prob but not at the point where I can/want to address it. SUre this thread will help.
Welcome fluxy..like the name! It is very liberating being able to write your thoughts down without being judged. This thread is so (can't think of a better word) non judgemental and it allows you to explore your thoughts.
Sorry so tired can hardly put a sentnce together, have been up since 3am.
Expat how are things...have been thinking about you.
Must dash have to put dd to bed have been lazy and she's watching the bill (she's only 4)!

Gerbra and Fluxy- why don't you do not drinking 'just for tonight'?
Quite often this is a useful way to look at things. When I first stopped drinking sometimes it was 'not for another hour' or even ' not for 5 minutes'. Initially the thought of never drinking again is too big, so it helps to break it down. Just think about not drinking today.

I know people who have had years worth of 'just for today'.
Just a thought.

Anyone about?
Teasle - I've decided, Monday night I will just not drink. I've got booze in the house tomorrow and I dread trying it and failing cos I know it's there...
So - I'm not going to make a big build-up, I'm just going to do it for that one night on Monday and see how I go...
I keep thinking 'really how hard can it be', since only a few years ago I didn't drink at home very often. But I know it's going to be hard...

Hi everyone! just got back from yoga and feeling great! although technically I shouldn't......DH not been home for 2 days and when he arrived home last night he had beers and wine. One good thing was that I said to him the other day, can you stop buying 3 for 2 on the wines as I will drink 2 bottles if it is there..... so I only had one bottle and I drank it over a long period of time too. That is it now till the weekend. I have decided to break the pattern of friday night boozing and not drink at all tonight or tomorrow... wish me luck!!
Thoughts out to everyone......x

Hey Fluxy- sounds like you have a plan!
Are you planning to cut back your drinking to what you feel is an 'acceptable' level then?

I'll check in tonight around 10 if you want to chat- that goes for anyone else lurking out there. x

One day at a time, gerbra. One evening at a time, one hour at a time.

Just take it like that. Keep your eyes on the prize. Treat it like a crossing a stream in summer. Jump from boulder to boulder, all whilst keeping in mind the goal is the cross the stream, but you need to be mindful of your steps to do that.

hi everyone not been on for a few days - just found out my dp's other woman has had her baby and have just down a whole bottle of wine to myself - feel like s..t anyone out there tonight?

ok looks like a quiet night. have started on the sherry!!!!!!! Oh dear !!!!!

HI unhappy- must be really tough for you right now. I'm around for a bit

Hi Unhappy

jellibabe here. At least you won't have this huge event on the horizon to dread. It's happened now and you can start to deal with it and put it behind you. Maybe you will start to feel a sense of relief now that the birth is over. Dreading something is a horrible feeling. It makes you feel so powerless.

HI Jellibabe! how are you tonight?

I'm fine. Been sober since Monday.

Had a hellish night with the kids fighting this evening. We were suppose to be making cookies but it turned into a war. Cookies were suppose to be for work charity event tomorrow. Never mind.

Maybe people will pay not to eat them

hey, ladies.

unhappy, sorry to hear about your troubles.

have a sore head here, the weather keeps going up and down.

Aaah the joy of fighting children. Know that one well.