Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

Unhappy-how are things with you today. I just re-read your post about raging at your kids. I've done that before, it makes you feel awful doesn;t it? Sorry no wise words I'm afraid because I don;t really know the answers! Just posting to sympathise and tell you that I find it hard to be a good mummy sometimes. There is an adage in psychology about the 'good enough mother' ie no-one is perfect. Just try and forgive yourself!

Oh Daisy, a cabin in Scotland sounds like my ultimate dream!

I got treated to a log cabin in the New Forest a couple years back, waking up to a screen of trees and birds...and the squirrels begging for bacon scraps. Log fire in the evening!

Unhappy, yes I've raged at the kids too, then felt incredibly guilty afterwards. Please don't punish yourself too much, we are only human hun.

How is everyone else doing? I'm feeling surprisingly calm tonight and no drink. Can't wait to wake up in the morning, got so much to be doing!

I think he has a woodburning stove

i too have been guilty of shouting at the kids for no other reason than I'm too preoccupied thinking about that first glass of wine and wishing they were in bed already , or because i'm hungover and not functioning in the mornings.

i still shout occasionally, but it is much better now I'm not drinking.

actually I had a glass of red at the weekend with my meal. but only one and I enjoyed it, but had no desire for any more.

hello everyone - glad I'm not the only mad mum!!

Purpleone you sound happier thats good.

Went out for a meal with the family last night and had a couple wines which lead to seeking more alchohol when I got home - wish I could just be happy with the odd glass

Have lovely Easter weekends everyone and for all who are trying to abstain altogether good luck abd obvisouly good luck to everyone else too (does that make any sense!!)

See you all next week

Anyone about?
DP came back with friday to monday off and wanted to celebrate with beer/wine, and of course I jumped at the chance, even though I'm working through 'til Tuesday...
Am now a bottle of wine in and looking for the next opportunity and feeling a mix of happy to be a bit pissed and guilty that this is what I usually am in te evening...
I have a question...
Walking my dog today I came across a bunch of people with a puppy (same breed as mine) who was a littel barrel of joy until his owner approached...when he cowered and shook and retreated into the depths of a thick bush to get away...
I was nearly in tears (later on)...with pets, it's SO obvious when they're being mistreated. Trouble is, what can you say? I keep thinking how scared the little thing must be...but again...what could I do? He didn't do anything when I was there...
Feeling quite sad about that
Hope everyone's well
gebrajess x

Hi gerbrajess, I'm here. I was just reading your post further down the thread about having issues with eating, and I know so many females who have problems with both.

I think at the root of it is low self-esteem and not being able to deal with emotions in a healthy way. I totally identify with that and it's something I've had to work really hard on as well. You'll always find someone who has a similar story to your own.

Hi Kokeshi,
How was Edinburgh - I read about the buid-up, hope it went well.
You're so right - all these things - drinking/smoking/exercising/dieting - I'm sure they all go hand in hand. What makes me feel a bit better is that in all the situations I've been in over the past few years, I'm probably in the most positive position now, despite drinking excessively...
Don't know how I'm feeling tonight - my bestest bestest friend sent me through new photos of my godson (2 weeks old) - oh how sweet! Now the whole 'puppy-in-the-park-gate' has really upset me - I've even convinced DP that next time I see him, I'm going to make the owner an offer he can't refuse...(and that decision was made sober!!!)
Sorry, a bit of a rant...!
gebrajess x

Hi Kokeshi,
How was Edinburgh - I read about the buid-up, hope it went well.
You're so right - all these things - drinking/smoking/exercising/dieting - I'm sure they all go hand in hand. What makes me feel a bit better is that in all the situations I've been in over the past few years, I'm probably in the most positive position now, despite drinking excessively...
Don't know how I'm feeling tonight - my bestest bestest friend sent me through new photos of my godson (2 weeks old) - oh how sweet! Now the whole 'puppy-in-the-park-gate' has really upset me - I've even convinced DP that next time I see him, I'm going to make the owner an offer he can't refuse...(and that decision was made sober!!!)
Sorry, a bit of a rant...!
gebrajess x

I went really well actually, it turned out there was a bit of a buzz in the department about a real-life sudden hearing loss cochlear implant person and the whole of the audiology department came - about 50 people! Wahh!

They were all lovely actually, and I got loads of questions at the end, a sure sign that they were listening!

Shmae about the wee puppy. What kinda of do you have? I've been offered a hearing dog and I would really love to take up the offer but I just can't commit to it right now. We're planning to spend quite a bit of time between here and Oz in the next few years and it just wouldn't be fair on the dog.

I've had dogs in the past and they've all been rescue dogs. I can;t get my head around people who are cruel to animals, makes me really sad too. You know anecdotally having a pet has a very positive impact for people who're trying to tackle their drinking problems...maybe it's meant to be??

...the difference is kokeshi..you're at least at the other end of the tunnel..and have made the hugely brave trip of getting there (ie. sober). I must be honest and admit I've lurked on the previous threads and have seen you wavering...but you've been bloomin' amazing and stuck with it. I have so much admiration for you for that...
At this point, I can't even imagine me being strong enough to give up, let alone keep strong when the urges hit me...
Three million cheers for anyone who's done that - I'm seriously impressed!
gebra.x

Loads of us who've experienced a problem with alcohol are more susceptible to all of the imnpulse control disorders.

The genetics of it is fascinating actually. I just have to look around at all my friends in AA who come from alcoholic homes...everyone seems to use something to change how they feel!

oops - we cross-posted...
really glad to hear the trip went well...
My dog is a staffie (shock...horror...he's really not bad and fantastic!). He's been my little saving grace. He's a rescue dog and I got him 2 years before meeting DP, luckily DP loves him too, so all calm on that front!
I keep asking you personal stuff kokeshi - am sorry - please feel free to tell me to get stuffed if you want to?!
Since you've been posting, have you relapsed with alcohol and how did you deal with it? I'm honestly interested from a point of view that it will probably happen to me so would be good to hear other people's experiences...
Tell me to butt out if too much though...I won't be offended...
gebra x

It's only a day a time GJ, for anyone, no matter how long they are sober. The thing is that it does get easier the more days-in-a-row you have under your belt.

If it was still as difficult as it was in the beginning, I doubt I'd be on this position now! Don't let the thought of sobriety scare you too mcuh, I feel like I've been let out of prison, seriously. But, that's only in hindsight. There was no way I could have imagined me feeling like I do today, it just wasn't fathomable to me that you could be happy without booze.

The important thing is to be mindful and learn from your own experiences. Not many people get it right away, it's a journey that lasts a life-time.

we're outta sync, let me read your last post and I'll respond....

No I don't mind you asking at all, if it helps. I haven't relapsed since I joined MN, in fact I've been sober through quite a lot of traumatic life events. If I'd still have been drinking, I seriously doubt if I would have managed another recovery. But, I took it pretty much to the end of the line with my drinking - I didn't have too many options left!

Staffies are lovely wee dogs. It's not the breed, it's the owner as far as I'm concerned. I love watching Cesar Millan in the dog whisperer,you can apply a lot of his stuff to humans as well!

That's very interesting- because from where I'm standing, the prospect of not drinking sounds like the prison sentence - it's challenging to have someone say it's the opposite (and of course the rational part of me knows that's true...)
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHGGGGHHH - so hard!! What I will admit is that my DP is going away over easter because I'm working and belive me, at tbe end of each day, the wine corks will be popping...
I am shuffling off to bed now but will be checking in over the weekened. Good to talk to you K., speak soon...
Gebrajessx

We're cross-posting again- my fault!
Promise - I'll sit quietly for a while ... (keep thinking it's time for bed and then deciding otherwise...)

Yeah, felt like that to me at the beginning too. I think AA is vital to me sobriety actually - every attempt I made by myself always led to a relapse. So, again, it's only now I can reflect on just how trapped I was by it. It's like finding that I can see in bright, vivid colour after spending a whole lifetime in muted shades of grey.

Night night, sleep well.

Go to bed if you're tired, I'm just footering on the computer! I don't have to be up early tomorrow so I'm enjoying it!

Even though I'm not at that point...it makes perfect sense!
Good night, good to talk...
gebra xx

x

Have just been kicked out of bed by the kids to the tune of 'I know a song which will get on your nerves!' It's going to be a long day....

My youngest gets up daily at 6. Grrr.

Whats everyones plans for the Easter weekend?

Gerbrajess- hi there.
My own drinking BECAME a prison sentence. I understand how scary sobriety can seem though, which is why some people just say its for one day at a time. When I first put down drink sometimes it was one minute at a time.
I havn't gotten sober by just thinking that I really should stop drinking, I've got sober by working my fucking arse off for it. The thing is, any addiction- you really have to put the effort in. The good news is that there is lots of support out there for everyone!

I used to have loads of problems too, with getting to sleep, winding down.

Actually, I didn't - I had a massive drink problem. I used so many excuses as 'reasons' to preserve and 'legitimise' my addiction.

I'm pre-menstrual ladeez, sorry if i'm coming across as a bit harsh

Like my new name? I think I should use this at the mo...

Nice one teasle! Very witty.