Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

Yes, I'm liking the buddhist slant a lot lately expat. In fact I'm going to book myself in for a wee meditation day at the Glasgow Buddhist Centre.

Night folks. Good to have you on the thread gerbrajess.

Blackdoor, try phoning when they're open during the day. The helpline is manned by volunteers so if you want help, you kinda have to really want to keep at it.

If you paid for a medical, you are entitled to know what the results are! I did the same thing, by the way, during my drinking and I was passed for a visa to Australia.

Are you sure it was on health grounds? Could it be something other than alcohol?

Is that the Buddhist centre sort of on the way towards Maryhill, quite close to BBC? Perhaps I'm barking up completely the wrong tree! I'm being a bit more careful about my alcohol intake now. I just don't have much choice and it makes me very ill if I have too much. At the moment I'm feeling very shaky. It's a wretched way to be. I felt this crap as a teenager, and relied on food, fags and alcohol to make me forget about it. I also pulled out my hair in clumps and tried to strangle myself round my tummy. It's horrible to feel the same way but without the props. In some ways it's testimony to how far I have come.

At the moment I am finding it difficult to deal with not being liked by my father and not being believed by anyone. It sort of makes life seem a bit of a waste of time. I know this feeling will pass, but it's not very nice!

BlaDeBlah, it's on sauchiehall St, at the Charing Cross end.

I know what you mean about not having any props. It does take time to get used to just sitting with yourself and not immediately changing how you feel by using other things. It does improve though, and after a while you start to really discover who you are. Your potential is limitless BDB, all this stuff has just been keeping you down for years and it's great when we can let it go. Scary, but so worth it.

Unfortunately for us, it's the closest relationships that usually give us the most trouble. I guess the situation with your father is just something you'll have to accept is as it is, as hard as that may be. I identify with that a bit, my own Dad is really closed off emotionally and has never shown me any real affection. I think part of my drinking was acting out trying to get attention from him from an early age. I only ever got negative attention, but it was better than nothing. It didn't help my feelings of self-loathing though!

We have an OK relationship now. He's a typical West of Scotland male and nothing I do or say can change him as a person. All I can do is change my reaction to it, and try and improve myself for me. Recently he seems to have much more time for me, which is kind of a happy accident. I wasn't counting on it so maybe that's the key.

Families eh? Good to have you back on the thread, it will get better. Just takes a wee bit of time.

I am pretty much at the point of cutting my father out of my life. I have spoken to my mum about it and she says the only thing to do is to avoid him. She's got early Alzeimers. My younger brother married a nutter and they fight like dogs, and they involve the kids. My father condones their behaviour and implies that the sanctity of marriage is more important than the people involved, and stuff the children. Every step of the way my father has tried to barge in and take over. I'm so fed-up with ranting about the dreadful mess that is my family.

It is very sad that my mother has stayed with this man. No doubt the Alzeimers is making that easier.

Hello everyone - BlaDeBla - I hope you are Ok you sound like you are in a lot of pain right now.

Hi everyonen else - glad to see some of you are keep up the good fight - I am not really winning my fight at the moment but not too down about it just taking one day at a time.

I often wonder what my kids really think of me - I know they love me - but I sometimes rage at them for what must seem to them no apparent reason. Just tyring to be kinder to them and me at the moment

unhappy I'm sure they adore you. Kids only ever have one mother after all. Maybe when you're feeling good, let them know how much they mean to you.

BDD, I hope you get some peace from your family, however that comes about.

How's Tuesday been for everyone?

I've had my hair cut and I'm not sure if I like it. She cut loads of it off and did the choppy thing, I feel kinda bald. I guess the good news is that my hair grows really fast though! I'm also worried that I won;t be able to get it to go into the style it's supposed to and I'll end up with a permanent 'dragged through the hedge backward' look.

I'm going through to Edinburgh tomorrow to give a wee talk to the audiology students at Queen MArgaret University about what it's like to loos your hearing suddenly in adulthood, and then have a cochlear implant. I'm a bit nervous, I hope I make some sense and don't burst into tears in front of them!

Wow I'm impressed- any kind of public speaking is daunting.

Good luck, kokeshi!

That sounds fab.

Aw, WHY did you cut your hair!? Ggrrr, kokeshi, you have hair to die for!

Tuesday has been . . . nauseated.

I think we need a pic of your hair- or a representative style at least.

how is everyone?- anyone lurking out there?
HI to the new posters.

I'm here for a while.

Really struggling tonight, but am okay and dog tired.

A good haircut always makes a woman feel good IMVHO

How is everyone doing?

Hi Kokeshi

My mum became completely deaf during her 30's (before we were born). After a long fight she finally had a cochlear implant about 10 years ago. Sadly it hasn't really benefited her much. She really relys on lip reading.

Hi PurpleOne how are things with you? Just cramming in a little me time before I scrape myself out of bed in the morning.

Expat, my hair grows so fast, it's probably about 4 inches longer than when you saw it! It seriously was taking me an hour to dry and straighten in the morning and I'm just not that high maintenance! Granted, it's a touch shorter than I had envisaged but DP assures me I look 'sexy' and 'trendy'. Can't be that bad!

Teasle, I can't be bothered to take a pic at the moment and I've had a look online and I can't see on that matches exactly. OK I'm thinking this but a bit longer and choppier. My hair is probably about that colour, perhaps a wee bit lighter. Gosh, this is stressful!

Jellibabe, what a shame about your mum's implant not being great, did they explain to her why she didn't get a good result? My implant centre told me I'd been one of their best cases to date, I think because I'd a really strong memory of sound and wasn't actually 'deaf' for that long. Well I'm still deaf, but the implant keeps my aural nerve and auditory processing centres in my brain active. I 'hear' sound the side of my head. Very strange. I still have to rely on lip-reading a lot too, the CI has it's limitations.

Oh hi PurpleOne, missed your post.How did you get on with the GP and DD? Any further forward?

kokeshi's hair is gorgeous, people!

Ach expat you're very kind! It had been bleached a wee bit from being in Oz when you saw me. It's really weird, I used to have quite dark hair, everyone thinks I've dyed it!

DD1 has hair the same shade as yours, kokeshi, and it goes all goldy streaky in summer as well.

that's a lovely new hairstyle, though!

PurpleOne, you still with us?

Well since we're dishing out the compliments expat you have amazing teeth! Lovely and white and sparkly. I am .

Something I see a lot of these days when lip-reading and I have to say your pearly whites were very memorable!

Yeah am still here, but gonna be off to bed now.

Had a good result with my dd and the gp today. He's referred her to specialist teen counselling, should have appt in the next month / 6 weeks.
she begged for meds but to my relief he said no.

It's been a real struggle today but suffice to say...'just for today' it's all I wanted.
Me and dd had a good chat earlier and it was really nice, to snuggle up in bed and dd1 said I wasn't pissed. 'Mummy, your breath smells like toothpaste'

I'm off, hope everyone else is well?
G'night for now x x

Oh I was just thinking there jellibabe (I'm on my way out the door) that your Mum should be due for an upgrade on her implant by now. The technology is fantastic these days, and they've really improved on the processing abilities recently. I'll get one every 5 years apparently.

Tell her to contact LINK for deafened adults, it's a charity that helps people like us cope with acquired profound hearing loss and they run all sorts of courses and support groups. Or you can contact me on FB I have trained as an outreach volunteer with them so I'm happy to helpin any way, even if your mum just wants to email me about how she copes with her deafness.

Right, I'm away to Edinburgh. Send me positive vibes guys, I'll be thrown to the lions at 11.30!

Have a good 'un.

Morning everyone

My hair looks a complete mess because I HATE going to the hairdressers and feeling old and fuddy (and having to make small talk...going on holiday?) I'd love to find a good hairdressers and have a lovely cut, it does make you feel loads better.

Was reading the posts about going to gp's. Had never considered it before but due to this thread am now thinking about it. What is an LFT? Oh think I have twigged...liver function test? What does that involve? What can I expect from a gp? I was just guessing they'd say 'you should cut down/give up. (bit like smoking I suppose). I have been worried about what drinking is doing to me and maybe any results would shake me up??

Sorry can remember the posters name but I drink a bottle of wine a night, so you're not alone!

some positive vibes winging their way to kokeshi
am homesick for Edinburgh and Fife , but I'll be up that way next week. visiting rellies then off up to Fort Bill for the second week of the holidayss. DHs friend lives in a cabin in the woods near Corpach. DS is soooo excited. We've promised him a day's Nessie spotting. He's been obsessed since we saw The Water Horse, bless!

PO, I hope you're doing OK I always seem to miss you these days.

Hi everyone,
Hi Glowwormish - I was the bottle-of-wine-a-night gal. Do you know, I hope this doesn't come across in the wrong way, but perhaps we're in a better situation than the huge numbers of people drinking the same amount in an evening and not giving it a thought!? At least we're aware of it and thinking about it, although not yet dealing with it in my case!
I work from home so having a glass of wine(or bottle as it ends up..) in the evening marks the end of my day. Without it, I find it really hard to literally switch off the PC and close the files. I also have terrible trouble getting to sleep and ... yes ... wine helps with that too!
Thanks Kokeshi and Expat for the kind/wise words the other night - Kokeshi hope the trip to Edinburgh went well.
Hope everyone's having a good week...
Gerbrajess

Evening all
I'm getting to know everyone now but sorry if I slip up with names etc (maybe wet brain?).
Gerbrajess-I'm much the same as you. Wine signals the end of the day and I switch off. I just want to get 'off line'. I'm sure there are much healthier ways but it's such hard work. Maybe alcohol is an easy route and I'm being lazy?? I also have trouble sleeping if I don;t drink (as I found out when I was pg-or maybe it was being pg itself, although I didn;t suffer this the first time round). However it compromises the quality of my sleep and I sometimes wake early (always make sure I have a pint of water before I go to bed).
Kokeshi-how did it go?
Lacksadaisy-I'd love to retreat into a log cabin, I love the great outdoors, sounds fantastic!