Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

WAS fusty, starting to get used to it again-
did you miss it then, your name?

After a very bad run-in with vodka - an entire bottle after starting on beer, I learned 'beer before liquor, never been sicker' the hard way.

Cannot even smell the stuff now!

Hey, at least you had some Vitamin C to go with your chaser, kokeshi .

Irn-Bru is actually very good for settling the stomach a bit until you can get to a fry up.

Grain alcohol is also on my list of Things I Will Never Drink, after swilling it neat after a long night on the sauce and burning my throat for about 4 days.

Yeah, saved me a bloody fortune on carry-outs and happy hours at the student union. I'd just nip across to the union after doing my thesis project in Marischal college in Aberdeen and I'd be well oiled by 5pm. Good stuff that industrial enthanol .

It was a great gothic building - 500 years old - and most of the medics had moved out up to Foresterhill. Just me in my lab and the cadavers in the basement dissection room. They didn't seem to mind my working methods.

Freaky!

Cadavers?!

Oh, god, just a bit to Burke and Hare for me.

Although I wasn't at all frightened during the Greyfriars Cemetary tour (where Burke and Hare got their start graverobbing), but that was mainly because the tour guide was such a cow she pissed everyone off.

I guess I did miss my name teasle. It's the only time I've name-changed and I don't think I like it so much.

How was the party at the weekend, kokeshi?!

I was thinking of you today because I went through one of my old recipe books and discovered a lot of brilliant recipes for terrific, non-alcholic punches.

As far as I know expat, they were all there willingly - donated their bodies to medical science. It was just a leetle bit creepy at night, but they were probably more scared of the mad ethanol-filled Weegie!

To be honest, having taken gross anatomy as part of my course, I wouldn't even consider leaving it for the bloody medical students to desecrate it. Aye, many a story of random body parts turning up where they shouldn't...

We didn't go in the end expat, DP was laid up with a migraine, shame.

There's a world of non-alcoholic possibilities! I'm going to start using my kenwood smoothie maker again now that the weather's getting better. Mmmm.

I actually bought some green tea today. I really loved it when I lived in Taiwan and it's meant to be really good for you. Full of anti-oxidants apparently.

NO WAY I'd give mine to medical science. Want to donate my organs, anyhow, and anything else that might be of use - corneas, long bone, skin, etc.

Oh, here is one I really want to try:

Mock Champagne

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
2 cups gingerale, chillled
1/2 grapefruit juice
1/4 cup orange juice
3 tbsp. grenadine syrup (or lemon or lime cordial syrup like Rose's)

Combine sugar and water in saucepan, boil slowly for 10 mins., stir only until sugar is dissolved. Cool. Mix sugar water syrup and juices and chill thoroughly. Just before serving, add gingerale and grenadine/cordial and mix well.

Here's one for you smoothie maker!

Orange Julius

6oz. of orange juice frozen till slushy
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup water
1 tsp. vanilla

Put all ingredients in smoothie maker or blender till foaming.

Mmmm.

Oooh they sound quite fab! Lots of preparation with the champagne thing too, so you really feel like you're indulging eh? I shall try these out definitely!

Yes, I'm on the organ donor register too. Don't know how much of me will be usable after all my implants. I'm like the bloody bionic woman! MAybe they could just sell me for scrap.

Hopefully, they'll be able to use my liver .

Of course, I don't know what state it's in.

Or my lungs, for that matter. I used to smoke a lot , well, 3 packs on a weekend night when I was really able to drink to the max.

Hi everyone,
Have name changed and have lurked and posted occasionally in the past. Feel very sad that despite thinking every day I should cut down on drinking, I never succeed.
Have followed the history of the dependent drinkers threads and it almost feels like there are less people around like me now (ie. bottle of wine or equivalent a night) - so therefore feel quite alone and quite scared - am I being paranoid?
I just can't seem to change my habits but I can't imagine the thought of not drinking again...

My liver has made a miraculous recovery apparently, so there's hope for all! You know, I was talking to a psychiatrist today and I was musing how it was weird that smoking is something I've just never gone for. Or recreational drugs for that matter.

I found all I ever needed or wanted in booze though. I am a compulsive person, so no doubt if I ever did start I'd be a chain smoker!

sorry gebrajess, cross-posted with you. What about your drinking is it specifically that worries you? Is it impacting on your physical or emotional health? Your family? Your relationships? Your work?

Try not to think of it as 'never drinking again'. That;s a long time for anyone. Try a day at a time for starters. That's how I started on my sobriety. Some days I was counting the hours and the minutes. It gets easier and easier though.

Stay with us though, and don't feel ashamed. MAny people start questioning their drinking after a sustained period of time and it's a good thing I think.

Hi Kokeshi,
thanks for the kind words. I feel like I know a bit about all the regular posters as I have lurked for a while. I was really heartened to hear that your liver was in good nick - I don't mean to be personal, but how long were you drinking heavily for? ...it would be a really positive thing to know that I can repair the damage despite having drunk heavily for some time...
x

forgot to say - I honestly can't pinpoint why I need to drink at this level as I'm not especially unhappy and have people around me that I love (and love me hopefully!). I have a history of compulsive behaviour so think it could be more generally due to that than drinking per se...who knows though...if I did I would be a happy (and probably smug!) person who knows her limits and knows when to stop...
x

Oooh, erm, I started drinking heavily when I was 18 and had to seek help when I was 25, but I was going at it hard and fast.

At my worst I was drinking a litre and a half of vodka a day. I had horrendous problems though - acute pancreatitis, alcoholic hepatitis, jaundice, skin problems, seizures, etc etc. I was told I wouldn't see 40 when I was 21, but I reckon if I'd kept drinking like that I would have been 6 feet under by age 30.

Everyone is different though, and it's best to get yourself checked out. We, as women, tend to get iller quicker than men, but it was what it was doing to me emotionally that finally convinced me that I had to stop.

Do you think you could go to the GP and share some of your concerns? There's nothing worse than working yourself into a frenzy about what you might be doing to yourself, LFTs are pretty straightforward and a useful guide to what state your liver is in.

Remember though, alcohol affects every major organ in the body which we don't always think about. How's your nutrition? Are you eating OK?

I'm about to go to bed but didn't not want to welcome you, gebra.

I'm a wine head myself.

Started very innocently, with a 'glass or two' after work.

Quickly found myself a bottle a night - I timed it very well during the week as I had to maintain a good job, but weekends I really went for the wine!

Didn't really drink spirits past university.

I still much enjoy it - well, when I'm not puking my guts out as pregnant.

My concern with my drinking came mostly for my health, although I did lose out financially by heavy drinking in the past, and relationships, too.

I started to get scared of leaving my kids behind.

Now, I'm a lot older and can't tolerate alcohol, it's also very expensive and there's not room in the budget for it, and I'd rather spend time doing something else for the most part - although the odd glass or bottle shared out with friends every now and again is something I still find enjoyable.

At my worst, I could drink 3 bottles of wine a night.

The thing is though gerbra, that once that line is crossed, the only 'reason' for maintaining drinking is dependence. That's when people get confused and start beating themselves up about being weak and having no will-power.

Once you've reached this stage, it's not a conscious choice to start drinking and keep drinking, it's an addiction. We can't think or rationalise our way out of it, unfortunately. And God knows I've tried every trick in the book!

Hi and thanks Kokeshi and Expat...
Luckily I'm no longer at a 3-bottle a day level but have been for a while in the past - I really did feel the worse for wear at that point.
Kokeshi, I know I should go and get checked out (lft etc.) but to be honest I'm a bit reticent to go - I've been to the doc for various reasons in the past - eating 'issues' and depression, and I really would feel stupid to go back with another problem! I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true...
My diet, I think, is pretty good. Have battled with eating disorders of various kinds for a number of years, but living now with my DP has regulated my diet and I now eat better than I have done in years.
If I look at my life 10 years ago and my life now, I'm in a much much better place, but the drinking thing is something I'm finding really hard to control.
Thanks for letting me jump onto the thread again...
x

You're not alone, gerbra. Your story is very similar to a lot of peoples', mine, too.

I also struggle with depression - PND is my poison.

Sometimes I let myself get all Buddhist about it, because I know the lesson this life is trying to teach me, but the road to acceptance is swings and roundabouts.

So is drink dependence.

But you're here. And that's a good thing!

Thanks Expat! I am now making my way (a bit blearily) to bed...it's really good to have somewhere to post where you know you're not being judged.
I'll certainly check in again soon...
x

I've been on before but have changed my name several times as I'm sure I've posted pissed, followed by shame and posting drunk again. Am currently on a bottle and a half during the week and three bottles at the weekend. Tried phoning AA but they were closed and didn't return my messages.

I also got good liver checks recently but in the past month was refused an us visa on health grounds. I had to pay 140 pounds for the medical but they won't tell me the results of it.

Go through phases of wanting to stop, but mostly thinking what the fuck. I could not imagine or want a life without alcohol but never know when to stop.