Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

This is the number for the Samaritans. UK: 08457 90 90 90

What a dreadful and shocking thing to happen to you Habitual. I'm so sorry, I don't really know what to say. Really big hugs for you ((((((()))))))). I hope your friend is being well looked after.

Habitual just be there for her and her kids thats all you can do - its hard very hard but keep on being a friend - big hugs to you and your friend/kids - dont worry about your drinking/eating just concentrate on being a good friend - wishing you the best of luck with your friend and your own feelings

Hi Habitual, sorry you're going through this. Being close to someone suicidal is exhausting. I do think you really need to look after your self as well. Hopefully she'll be placed int the care of professionals who can help her but in the meantime don't shoulder too much of the responsibility or you'll suffer as well. Is there anyone you can offload to? You're being a fantastic friend, she's lucky to have you.

Welcome back BlaDeBla. How is your health now? Are you still under the docs care? Glad to see you're making inroads wrt freeing yourself from your father.

How's the day going for everyone?

HI OH- day is going well for me, getting a bit windy here though(the weather, not my innards)

Habitual- hopefully your friend will now get the access to support services she needs- sounds like it has been an awful time for you.

Hello everyone else!

How's everyone today? Been quiet over here the past couple of days.

Hello everyone
Yes it is really quiet.
Habitual-how are things?
I'm still under acute pressure as is DP. I'm really worried about him. I told him to take some time off this morning but he still went in. He will be working until about 10.30pm-11pm tonight (and he went in before 8am). I told him yesterday that I cannot support him anymore than I already am, I'm falling to bits. But today we were under the kosh and I just knuckled down. We have both alternated between who is stressed and who takes up the slack (and gives TLC to the most stressed) for a long time but right now I am scared because we are both feeling acutely stressed.
Just to let you know we are running our own business and its harder than I EVER imagined possible. I feel so isolated and there is no support. I feel guilty that I am full time (against my wishes) and I don't see my kids alot. The other week my 4yo dd said 'I never never see you'. We have seriously thought of doing a bunk. Oh hell where am I going with this?

I'm still here and lurking

I've had intense cravings a couple of times, but being pregnant is a geat incentive. I did have a small brandy last weekend as I was feeling really fluey and rough. It took me four hours to drink it though!

gotta be off as DH needs the pooter.

I'll catch up more later.

I'm still lurking, too.

Like Daisy, am pregnant and feeling a bit sick so off the sauce easily enough.

Not had a drop since found out I was pregnant, and now am at the point where my last baby died, so even more incentive not to take any risks at all.

Expat and daisy
How many wks pg are you? MS is a great way to get off the sauce! Do you have any other children? (guessing you do)
Was so proud of my dd today, she had her jabs and didn't cry or even wince. She looked up at me and counted to 10 (think I was worse than dd and I wanted to cry lol!)

I'm supposedly 7 weeks along, but having had missed m/c last time round, I'm trying to just play it mellow.

I have two girls, ages 4 and 2.

Expat
I have a dd 4 and a ds 2. Can't imagine being pg again! I'm guessing this one is planned, how wonderful! Sorry about your mmc. I find it helpful to think that there is a reason for everything (but sometimes is a struggle iyswim). Do you enjoy being pg? (Bit off tangent, just interested, because I hated it personally-but this took me by suprise)

no, i don't enjoy being pregnant.

but i enjoy sobriety

HI everyone.

DP is away at the moment, and last night I was going to watch Torchwood, but I got too scared and had to go to bed. God I'm such a wuss- its only in sobriety that I've remembered what a wuss I really am, me and my imagination.
However, as my youngest gets up around 6 each morning, its probably for the best anyway that I scuttled off to bed.

Have name changed for this.
Well i have staedily incresed my drinking over last few years.
I drink for the effect not the taste.
I realise its making me depressed.
I shout at my children and cry in front of them.
I think about alcohol more than i know i should.
My family say i drink too much.
I open a bottle of wine in the evening and prob drink half somenights but 3/4 most and very occassionally a whole botttle-at weekend over long evening with lots of food.
I worry because my granddad was an alcoholic so i have seen first hand how it can hurt a family.
I know i am on a slippery slope.
Apert from the obviuos-stop drinking-any advise would be really welcome because i know i will not get judged on her.
many thanks.

God sorry about all the spelling mistakes-forgot to check it !

Welcome to the thread toomuch. I've found it a huge source of support and I hope you do too. At least you are not alone here.

Habitual how sad. You were very gallant looking after your friends children. Please let us know how your friend is doing.

Feeling really pants this week. I go back to work tomorrow and am dreading walking into a room full of hostility and taking on the additional pressure. X has just phoned to tell me he is probably going to be banned from driving for 6 months again (3 time in 10 years fgs).

I have the children this weekend. Dd is having a friend over to stay on Sat eve so must be very disciplined. Just going to have to weather these feelings.

On a positive note I've been sober since Sat.

Well done Jelli - me too only because of illness!!

Welcome Toomuch - you are amongst friends here.

Having a really horrible day feeling very down and want to drink tonight but wont as DP about tonight - hope I feel differently tomorrow

Well done Jelli - me too only because of illness!!

Welcome Toomuch - you are amongst friends here.

Having a really horrible day feeling very down and want to drink tonight but wont as DP about tonight - hope I feel differently tomorrow

Felt like someone was sticking skewers through my heart today. I know it's emotional pain which usually has me reaching for a drink to dull it. The worst thing about it is you don't know how long it's going to last. However I feel better tonight and for obvious reasons am glad I have not had a drink.

Do you think this kind of pain gets easier to deal with the longer your sober? I've realised it has become a habit reaching for a drink to get rid of it. I'm hoping if I just keep facing up to it I will get better at coping with it. It's a scary feeling and has brought me to the brink of despair. At these times alcohol has often seemed like a form of pain relief.

Unhappy that was a lovely thing you said about being amongst friends. That how I feel too.

that's

Sorry can't help it. I love these little faces.

I love the faces too Jellibabe - hope you are feeling better soon - my day only got worse when I got home so wanted to drink really glad I didnt though

Still feeling a bit rough from my cold earlier this week going to try really hard not to drink this weekend but also the closer it gets to my dp's OW having her baby due any day now the more I feel like burying my head in the sand or should I say bottle!!! The pressure in our house is increasing and he is trying very hard for it not to affect our lives I just so wish life had not changed so much and that I had remained the enthusiastic person I used to be - oh dear this is turning into a depressing post - sorry everyone

If I dont come back till Monday have good weekends and good luck with the boozing and your lives

HI everyone.

Jellibabe- what you said about reaching for a drink to dull the pain- thats just what I did. Drinking helped me to 'not-think', and 'not-cope', because it all hurt too much to cope with life at times, or so I thought.

Sometimes I have overwhelming emotions, and find it incredibly hard, but I have to sit them out and they DO pass, because everything does pass. Most things have a beginning, middle and an end, nothing goes on forever does it?
It helps me to try and work through my feelings now, why I'm reacting like this, whats it really about etc.
I have had to really look at myself and go through all that emotional baggage I drank on, and it hasn't been easy, but it IS freeing. I needed to look at all those thoughts and feelings and things I did that led me to drinking, in order to change, and to NOT drink, because I suppose I was just killing myself, really.

Anyway, this is just me, and I feel like I've rambled incoherently.
I hope it goes ok at work today- is it something you really don't want to go back to?
Let us know how it was eh?

I think alot of us drink so we dont feel anything I know I do - sometims its just so much easier than feeling.

Hope the sun shines this weekend wherever you are

What plans do people have for the weekend? If you're trying to stay sober, what strategies do you employ to make it more achievable?

I try to get out of the house at the weekend and tire myself out. If I still in I'm more likely to start obsessing about things and feeling generally restless, irritable and discontent. That's a recipe for disaster for me. Boredom was a huge factor in my drinking, and when I stopped I had to actively find things to do instead. It just didn't feel natural for me to sit with myself sober.

Anyone else care to share? How you're getting on, any worries, etc?

I'm struggling today

I stopped taking my ADs when I thought I was pregnant, and now after four weeks things are sort of getting on top of me again. I have screamed at my DS practically all day and everything seems to get me worked up into a state. I had a swig of brandy from the bottle earlier as I was just soooooo annoyed and upset with myself for feeling like this . I won't have any more, but it scared me to know that I would put my own needs over the needs of this baby.

I know that I need to go and see my GP and talk things through and see if there is anything that can be done. I had such an awful time of it when pregnant with DD and by the time I was 33 weeks I was so ill that I was comtemplating driving the car in front of an articulated lorry. The only thing that stopped me was my unborn baby who had been longed for so much. I DO NOT want to be in that place ever again.

DH will be home soon so I cab switch off, but I'm not winning any awards for parent of the year today

housework tomorrow and my boys are doing the Sport Relief mile in Roundhay Park, Leeds on Sunday.

sorry to moan