Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

Hiya, OH and ladies!

Hope it's been a good weekend for you all.

Well I didn't stick to my plan. I am being as honest as I can be as I feel it's really important. Even though it is embarrassing to admit failure.

Went out for most of the day on Saturday. Did some chores in the evening and then bought a bottle of wine and started drinking it at 9pm. This is still an improvement on the sat before when I had a bottle of wine & 2 cans of lager. I use to buy more lager as I worried that I would run out before the shops had shut.

Woke up this morning with something resembling a hangover. This is good because it tells me my tolerance to alcohol is reducing (I see it as natures antiabuse).

Interestingly I did not experience the same cravings for alcohol that I had last sun. Last sun I craved it to 'put me in a better frame of mind'.

Still was sober from last Sun to Sat eve. Am sober this evening.

OH you posted that every sober day should be cherised as an achievement. I am trying to cherish each additional sober moment. Viewing sobriety as something wonderful is so much better than treating it as a form of punishment.

Jelli, you're doing wonderfully! You should be proud of yourself. Keep up the great work.

Thanks expat for your support .

That's a huge achievment, Jelli, it really is!

I couldn't do that for years.

Well find Mumsnet been like finding an online life coach.

think about how it used to be, jelli.

that's what keeps me going!

Found this snippet below in an online article about cleaning. Couldn't help thinking it could apply to alcohol too.

Here?s how to tackle each habit:

Write down your goal.
Post it up somewhere visible.
Keep a log and make sure you write in it each day, noting whether you were successful or not for that day.
Post your daily results on your blog or on an online forum, or email to family and friends.
Reward yourself for each day of success.
Give yourself electric shocks if you fail that day (just kidding!).
Actually, if you fail that day, take a minute to see what went wrong, and how to correct it. Now forgive yourself for failing, and tell yourself that you will do better starting now!
Find a way to keep yourself focused on this goal for at least 2-3 weeks.
Celebrate when you?re done.
If you can conquer that habit (and it may take a month or more), then move on to the next. Do not try to do them all at once! Take baby steps, and you?ll get there.

I know what you mean expat. Lately there have been a few situations where I have been so relieved that I was sober. It makes such a difference to everything. Even simple things like people coming to the door. Know I react differently to life if I've been drinking.

Yes, or if someone drops by or you have to go get one of your kids at school and you're paranoid someone can smell the booze.

Hi all glad to hear some of you are doing well. I had a terrible weekend booze wise. I drank Friday/Saturday and Sunday. I feel very negative about life again. I keep looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I hate the way I look I hate the way I feel and I hate my life I dont know how to get to that positive place the only thing that makes me feel any better is getting drunk. I dont know what to do.

I hope you all had better weekends than me

Well done jellibabe, it's great that you're putting so much effort in, and reaping the rewards too. Like expat siad, you should be proud of yourself. Sometimes when we can get a wee booze free run, it doesn't seem to hopeless. Life should be enjoyed, not endured!

Unhappy, were there other circumstances circumstances that precipitated your bad weekend or perhaps triggered the drinking? I've posted before about goal-setting, and of course, trying to work out how we feel about something before we drink on it. Granted that if there's a problem, drinking is just going to delay it temporarily and IME it's worse when we finally DO have to face it. Is there anything we can help you with?

How's everyone else doing?

Hi OH - nothing really out of the ordinary - no drama or anything just felt like drinking and did now feeling worse because I have you know the downward spiral - eating a lot too its like I am on self destruct mode again - I was doing so well IMO its all gone now though!!!

Hi OH - nothing really out of the ordinary - no drama or anything just felt like drinking and did now feeling worse because I have you know the downward spiral - eating a lot too its like I am on self destruct mode again - I was doing so well IMO its all gone now though!!!

Hi, I not posted here since end of last year. Was doing so well with the not drinking but have fallen off the wagon last week. Am annoyd with myself and hungover. I had two bottles of wine over the day yesterday. Starting at 1pm when me and DH went out for a childfree lunch. Guess i was enjoying the time too much. We came home for a 'rest;' in bed (if you see what I mean - we have to make the most of kid free time!) and then went to pub on way to collect kids. THEN I had another two glasses wine in the evening. Thought I had it licked but apparently not. So annoyed with me.

Jellibabe- loads of things you have posted really struck a chord with me, particularly the bit about acting differently, like when people come to the door.
One of the most important things i have learned, and also that I really struggle with, is being honest, and reading what you write reminds and inspires me to remember that.

Sorry- hi to everyone else. BM I'm so glad you've started posting again.

HI monkeybutler- keep up your resolve! You are still doing sooo well, remember that, to how you used to drink.

Purpleone- how are you doing- you have gone very quiet.

Thanks Teasle - I am clibing onto the back off the wagon as we speak but it feels harder this time!

hearing you monkeybutler I too was doing sooo well what happens why do we do it?

HI unhappy.
I may have a decent stint of sobriety behind me now, but I kept relapsing too. Just don't give up on the giving up!
How are things in general?

Welcome back monkeybutler, I think all of us have thought we've had it licked at one point. It's always complaceny or thinking 'I'll be alright after this amount of sobriety behind me. It's just classic behaviour from people like us, and part of the whole learning process I think.

Keep posting guys, it's good to see everyone again.

Hiya Teasle

Thinks are OK just feeling very down on myself - I have periods when I thinked I have life all sorted then I just go downhill again - feeling really tired emotional and hungry - hormones perhaps!!! thanks for asking

God thought it was just me, I'm paranoid that someone can smell drink on me when I drop the kids off. So much so I take a step back.

I felt quite proud of myself last night that I only had 2 glaases of wine but think this is because I was sooooo tired and couldn't be ars*d to open (yet another) box of wine, so it doesn't really count. But what it did teach me was that I felt loads better this morning and had a half decent sleep. I would like to be an ocasional drinker but I know that once I start drinking then that's it.

Have been feeling better over the weekend. I did tell dp that I needed to go home this pm just to be on the safe side but felt too guilty and stayed. Ended up being quite abrupt with a customer and nearly shouting f**k off down the phone and hurling the damn thing across th3e room. Dp realised that I should not be answering the phones.

Hope everyone is doing well and its great to read the posts. I feel a bit guilty just droning on but after my second glass of wine and my tiredness I can't remember what everyone has said.

Hello again all. It's Hellobello here with a new name!

I have a lot of work to do, and it's quite exciting that I can't drink and think at the same time. I have an essay to write, and for now, it's all over the place and I don't even know if it's going to work. Hopefully it doesn't have to be in tomorrow because it ain't done yet.

Last weekend I took the children to see my parents. My father, as usual, tried to ply me with alcohol and as usual I succumbed. I said to my mum that it is so difficult NOT to drink at their house and I don't enjoy being permanently paranoid and legless through alcohol. She agreed that the house is awash with the stuff.

I realised that my father really cannot possibly like me, judging by the way he behaves. I don't think he likes his children or even his wife very much. Anyway, it was a relief to realise that his behaviour towards me has only ever been abusive unless I have been laid out on a hospital bed.

I sort of figured that it was silly to get drunk on behalf of someone else because they don't like you. I am amazed that I have drunk fewer than 20 units in a week! Not even all at once either!

It's early days and I am still on that very thin line, but it feels like a weight off my shoulders that I don't feel as though I have to like a mad nutter who threatens, and bullies me and doesn't even like me. I've spent 40 years wondering what on earth I did wrong. My father is certainly not worth hurting myself for. (Phew)

I didn't know that Antabuse was so hard to get hold of. My (now dead) friend was given it and I took some so we both took it together. She shook so much she couldn't hold a cup of tea.

Ladies, I need help.

A very, very good friend of mine tried to commit suicide on Saturday afternoon. I was brilliant (for want of a better word) and rushed round and looked after the children Saturday and Sunday. Now I am home and absolutely beside myself. I am just eating and drinking like there is no tomorrow.

Just how do you cope with someone you love who tries to kill themselves?