The Phobics Support Group - Bring Your Neuroses Here!

[ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas]

Hello phobics everywhere! This thread is a continuation of the thread entitled Does anyone have a debilitating phobia? in case anyone is interested and wants to read up from the beginning.

I have "come out" on Mumsnet and admitted to a phobia of being sick and seeing people being sick and so have quite a few other people! I have been to my GP, thanks to the advice of Mumsnetters and am now awaiting therapy. However, I think a lot of us are getting some light therapy right here, just talking about our fears and knowing we are not alone. Plaes e feel free to join in if you want to, and I hope all the old-timers find their way here.

Oh, sorry LM, didn't mean to haunt you. I can't honestly say either that I didn't go to my mum because of her possible emetophobia or because she was a very strict and difficult mum to go to anyway. She always hated me being ill even if it had nothing to do with vomiting. She left me with awful things going on at various points like pleurisy and glandular fever and it was only when my dad stepped in that it was taken seriously. That's probably had an effect as much as anything else.

And yes, all these bloody threads about vomit bugs are getting to me too! And everyone's so matter of fact about it. HOW???

Don't know. Perhaps they are normal?!! Do you suppose you can catch vomiting bugs through the internet?!

I feel like shouting THERE ARE SOME EXTREMELY DERANGED WOMEN ON HERE WHO CAN'T BEAR ANYTHING TO DO WITH VOMIT. DO YOU MIND TAKING YOUR VOMIT THREADS ELSEWHERE?

But I suppose it would make more sens ejust not to read them.

LOL, LM! Do you read them? I find I do quite often and I almost do think that reading them will make something happen .

Yes. Like the pile of sick on the pavement, I am drawn to look at them against my will!

By the way, I am not permanently glued to Mumsnet. I just happened to come and have a look at it before going to bed as dh is watching an awful film on TV.

Hi everyone, sorry you are all feeling so down. I've not really been around much as I'm busy trying to organise christmas.
I really think this is a bad time of year. I think everyone feels a bit down in the winter, and of course vomiting bugs are rife at this time of year, and as you said LM, theres no escaping them on MN at the moment is there!!!
FWIW Bluemoon my DD plays games where her dolls are sick too, I do think this is fairly normal, as she likes to be a nurse (this is what she wants to be when she grows up personally couldn't think of anything worse!!!) and I really dont think she is effected by my phobia at all. She barely bothers about being sick herself, even though she usually gets bugs pretty badly, and more often than not will ask to eat again right away!!
Also, for what its worse, I dont think there is much point in holding back your kids from going to nursery as I feel the benefits for them far outweight the risks of catching a bug. But that is just my opinion. My DD has been in nursery since she was 2 and to be honest she hasn't caught that many bugs at all. And I think it does build up some kind of imunity for later so when they are at older and at school they will be less likely to catch it then. But I dont really know this is just my opinion and I may just be rambling again
Hope you are all feeling better soon {{{{{hugs}}}} to you all. Take care x

I am a bit glued to MN I think. As soon as dd's head hits the pillow I have a quick peek. But dp works very long hours so I'm often pottering around alone without much to do except a load of cleaning which is clearly beneath me.

Interesting Aimsmum what you say about your dd and the 'vomit' games. I feel like my little dd is so tragic about everything. Whenever something's happening and we need to work it out and I say to her, 'well, what shall we do about it?' she invariably replies 'cry!' and any kind of tea party / picnic games we play with toys or cooking she does on her cooker invariably ends with someone / everyone being sick. Sigh ...

My DDs games are a bit different usually someone is sick because they have fallen or someone has jumped on top of them or sat on them(slightly odd??)!! But she is very matter of fact about it all.

And of course cleaning is beneath you especially when there is far more important things to be doing (?)

Oh and I always read all the vomit threads because I "have to" and have to take a look at sick on the pavement even though it turns my insides cold, and makes me feel shivery, sweaty and lightheaded. Then I have to walk very quicky away!!

Hello

Hope everyone is ok.

Bluemoon -you have just brought back some memories about my mother that I had forgotten about and I am wondering if there is a connection. It sounds like we were treated in a similar way when we were kids and now we both have this affliction.

My Mother also hated us being sick and was always awful to me when I was. I can remember being taken ill very suddenly at school when I was about five and crying when the teacher tried to call my Mum because she would shout at me. If I was sick on the bed she would always yell at me and I have a vague memory of her rubbing my nose in my sick like a dog when I didn't make it to the toilet in time. God - I forgot all about this up until now and I actually feel angry and upset when I think about how I was treated. Even though I hate DD being sick I would NEVER do this to her. Do you think this is why I am like this today? Funnily enough she was always great if I had fle or anything else but when I was sick she was horrendous.

Sorry for going on. Just wanted you to know Bluemoon that I went through the same sort of thing

Hugs to you and to me too!

Oh, mumtochloe, how awful your mum rubbing your nose in it! My mum didn't like me being ill at all. I remember her poo-poohing it when I said I'd got a headache etc. but I think it was particularly bad to do with vomiting. However, i'm not sure could be classed as emetophobes as an emetophobe probably couldn't bear to rub a child's nose in their vomit. They were probably more likely to be unable to cope with illness in general. With my mum she was always so utterly wrapped up in her own problems / miseries and she liked a 'tight ship' so anything like illness upsetting the balance was a no go.

It is interesting to mentally investigate possible things form the past that have caused our problems isn't it? Although it's also terrifying to think of what effect we're going to have on our own kids.

Hello everyone. Any fellow emetophobes around? Having said I didn't think we were due any sickness over this week having had it two years out of the last three, my ds3 has just been sick (hopefully not a tummy bug, he has a very phlegmy cough right now) and I am feeling distinctly scared, shaky, upset, etc. I won't go into details for you as I know you wouldn't like it, but I would be glad to know there was someone out there thinking of me. Weak

Hi Lonelymum I'm at work hust now. Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. How have you been managing with sickness over every weekend?
Are you at home with your DS yourself at the moment ((((hugs)))) I will be thinking of you.
There is a bad coughing virus that can result in sickness doing the rounds at the moment. I know that doesn't seem much better but I feel that that kind of thing is better than a tummy bug IYKWIM.
Take it easy and try to relax (I know this is much easier said than done) Have you tried rescue remedy - can really help to calm you down??
Take care, hope your DS is better soon.
I will check in again later.xxx

Thanks Aimsmum. It is really quiet on Mumsnet today and I thought I was all alone . What is rescue remedy? I think ds's sickness probably was caused by the phlegm rather than a tummy bug and I agree, that makes it easier to bear, but I am feeling really bad myself at the moment (have been for several days). I think it is stressed induced but I feel sick, can't eat and am really down. I am just holding back from asking dh to come home from work as I can't ask him to everytime there is a small crisis. My other children are with me too so I have to hold it together for them but I really wish I was on my own and could go back to bed.

Hi no you are not alone I'm here at least
Rescue remedy is a herbally/flower remedy that you can buy from boots. It really does help you calm down if you are stressed. You just put a spray onto your tounge...tastes like very stong alcohol, but really does work...I use it before flying, going to the dentist (although at the dentist I do worry incase they think i have a drink problem as I'm sure my breath must smell like alcohlo) or just when I'm feeling stressed! A few people on MN have recommended it for things, no side effects or anything cos its natural. Can be used for children too.

It must be really hard feeling bad with all the children at home, have the schools broken up in England already, they dont up here til wednesday.
I do think your symptoms sound like you are stressed and no wonder what with all the sickness you've had to deal with and xmas!!
Does your Dh have much on at work at the moment? Would it be really hard for him to come home?

rescue remedy

Hello LM, sorry you're having such a hard time. Dd also had some retching episodes when she had a bad cough about a month ago but it wasn't a tummy bug.

Gosh, though, I know how you feel totally about your fears of a bug! I'm living in constant fear at the moment about coming down with a bug over Christmas when we're away from home. I've had some stomach cramps lately, mostly in the night, and stupidly having read some of the tummy bug threads here I'm worrying it's the onset of something nasty ... It's so hard to get these fears out of one's mind isn't it?

Bluemoon, I know what you mean about having stomach pains and thinking you are getting one of the bugs you read about on Mumsnet. I am doing the same!

Well, I am ahamed to admit, I rang up dh in the end yesterday and got him to come home in the pm. I then went straight to bed for most of the rest of the day (but had been awake a lot of the night before). Dh took ds3 who was almost unrecognisable, character-wise, to the doctors and it turns out he has a chest infection and is on anti-biotics now. He is better today - not eating much and still quite demanding and wingey, but not the dead weight he was yesterday. It is so scary seeing all the personality drain out of your child when they are really ill.

I am still not feeling better but I have to get on with the day as ds2 is 7 today. Hope everyone else is keeping well.

Happy birthday Ds2!

I hope your little one feels better soon. Yes, dd had 'croup' a few weeks ago and was unable to do anything, didn't even want to lift her head or sit up. They become like little creatures rather than children don't they?

How are you feeling yourself LM? Are you feeling sick or fluey or what? I've been feeling a bit grotty since the weekend, nothing I can completely put my finger on, headachey, queasy, underlying stomach cramps. Yesterday on the bus home from work I felt utterly terrified I'd be sick and had to do deep breathing the whole way. Horrible.

Mine seems to have gone down to the lower gut now. No physical symptoms as such, just pain. Also, I hardly seem able to eat anything. I don't feel hungry and when I do feel it a bit, I am quickly full up. My weight has been dropping off recently but I can't work out what is going on.

Ds3 has been on and off miserable all day and only ate a tiny bit of dinner, no breakfast or lunch, so I guess we are not yet over it.

Hope you feel better tomorrow Bluemoon. You don't think you might be panicking about Christmas do you?

Well, LM, I never really know anymore if I really feel sick or if it's nervousness and fear of being sick making me feel sick. Although when dp and I had a truly awful stomach bug in November 03 (my first EVER stomach bug I believe, I never thought it would happen to me! ) I realised that when I feel nauseous it's actually not the same as when you're really going to be sick. I weirdly can't remember that thought now and constantly worry I'm going to be sick.

I had a very good chat with dp just now about how terrified I am about the sit down Christmas meal his mum's making. I know I won't be able to eat any of it, literally, none of it. And I know it will be awkward as hell as she's very chilly and critical (which is of course part of the reason I won't be able to eat anything). He's agreed to stand by me and be understanding whatever happens which is a huge relief to me.

Already I'm stressing about the train journeys we'll have to take, about feeling sick on the train with dd to look after as well as a massive amount of stuff we're having to lug with us. It all builds up to an insurmountable hill and I'd just love love love not to have to go.

Next year, God willing, we'll just be us at home.

I'm off by the way on Thursday and will be gone a week so if I don't get a chance to catch up with you before then I really hope you and your Ds get better soon and that you do have a lovely Christmas!

Thanks Bluemoon. You too, no matter how hard it seems right now. The meal is only one small part of the day (try telling the cook that!) so I hope it doesn't spoil your enjoyment too much. I am off on Friday to my mums and dads. I was looking forward to going, but I had to take the kids into town today (14 miles) and ds1 admitted when we were getting in the car to go home that he had felt really travel sick on the way there. I had to sit him in the front on the way back as I know that helps, and he was all right, but the journey to my M & D's is over 70 miles! I amdreading it now in case he gets ill! He never has been travel sick before but he does sometimes feel it and I shall never forget one horrid occasion he was sick in the back of the car. He just sat there and did it. Why can't children say "I feel sick" and give you time to stop the car? Sorry, I'm aware I am beginning to ramble now. I'll probably calm down by Friday.

Happy Christmas Bluemoon, Aimsmum, Hausfrau, Womba, Mumtochloe, Mum2jay, Connorsmum and anyone else out there who follows this thread.

Hope you all have a lovely healthy christmas too. I am worried because a few people in my office have come down with a nasty stomach bug this week....spent the whole day in work today feeling really sick, but felt a lot better since I have come home. Think it is all in my head really but at least thats me finished work until after the new year. Hope you all have a great time!!

Bluemoon at least your Dh is going to stand by you at the christmas meal if you cant eat it which may not make it as bad, good luck.
Bluemoon and lonelymum - have you tried the travel bands you can get for travel sickness that you put on pressure point on your wrist? (they are also good for morning sickness. You can get them in both adult and childrens sizes and they really do work.

I might well have to try them for ds Aimsmum, but at the moment it would help if he just wore his glasses when we go anywhere, and didn't look out the side window. I do keep telling him!