The Phobics Support Group - Bring Your Neuroses Here!

[ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas]

Hello phobics everywhere! This thread is a continuation of the thread entitled Does anyone have a debilitating phobia? in case anyone is interested and wants to read up from the beginning.

I have "come out" on Mumsnet and admitted to a phobia of being sick and seeing people being sick and so have quite a few other people! I have been to my GP, thanks to the advice of Mumsnetters and am now awaiting therapy. However, I think a lot of us are getting some light therapy right here, just talking about our fears and knowing we are not alone. Plaes e feel free to join in if you want to, and I hope all the old-timers find their way here.

Take it you haven't had your ears or any other part of your body pierced then Colditz?! Sorry, insensitive question!
That's great that you can talk to your dm about this WWL. Does it help though? What would a therapist do now to make you better?
Missyblue - it'll take some getting used to. It sounds so sad! Are you going to adopt a Christmas name? MissybluethisChristmas? (missing you this Christmas).

Oh my god, nonono! I even make my dp take my son for jabs..... when I was in labour, the midwife said I was the first person ever to make more fuss about the drip than the pushing..

On a darker note, have not had tetanus shot for 20 years

My worst experience when in labour with my dd was the time they tried to put in the needle for the epidural. The hospital where I had my ds1 and 2 didn't do epidurals, and I thought I would give myself the luxury of a pain free labour with dd. But, they couldn't get the line in properly and it ended up only numbing my leg so I had dd with no pain relief at all! That sort of experience is enough to make anyone scared of needles.

My goodness.....I stay away for half a day and all the phobics come out of the woodwork

lonelymum - I chose to have no pain relief at all during a 24 hour labour cos I was scared it would make me sick!! All I had was an injection to numb me for the stiches afterwards!!

Spare a thought at Xmas time, for those of us who hate being anywhere near balloons--I know I am not the only one out there who hates them but sometimes it feels like it!

I'm scared of Thunder. Don't know if you could call it a phobia but it terrifies me. Luckily we don't get a lot of thunder where I live so I'm usually ok. People always say but it's only thunder it can't hurt you it's the lightening you have to watch out for but bizarrely I like the lightening it's the thunder that scares me, don't know why though.

I remember at primary school there was a big thunder storm and I sat and cried in the class because I was so scared

Rodents of any description - if I saw a rat I know my heart would burst in panic - but even gerbils put the fear of God into me. This is an unfortunate phobia as we live in a tenement flat and keep getting infested with mice. For ages, it was always me who saw them and DH thought my reaction was completely over the top until the day when he lifted a cushion on the settee and saw one of the little bast*s sitting underneath. I enjoyed his screams immensely (though obviously from a great distance )

I am terrified of dogs and big massive spiders. Both give me panic attacks.

My sympathies to you all.
I have a phobia of spiders. I don't mind any kind of insect ... could even hold a cockroach if I had to but spiders are the world's worst ever creatures. I can't even get close enough to one to kill it.
I have been known to hyperventilate in the presence of a spider. I have been known to be stuck in a room for 4 hours in a flat on my own because a spider was on the hall floor just outside the room. I have even been known to phone up my dad in a panic to get him to remove a spider from the bath (he lived 250 miles away at the time ).
When I was teaching I even had to get another teacher to mark a child's project about spiders as I couldn't even open the file.
Since becoming a mother I have learned to manage my phobia a bit more as I can't bear the thought of DS seeing my fear. I only agreed to move to NZ as my DH promised me that there were no spiders here that were worse than the UK. I have since learned that that is not true .
I have yet to travel to Australia as the thought of seeing a biggie puts me off going. I only went to South Africa when it was winter and my brother promised to check and double check his house before I got there. Even so I was stressed the whole time I was there.
I hate it when people belittle it by saying, "They are more scared of you than you are of them" and similar comments.
And something that makes me soooooo angry that I could lash out and hit someone is when people play awful practical jokes like big plastic spiders in drawers etc ... in fact although I like jokes and practical jokes I get really angry with jokes that play on people's phobias.
Hugs to all phobics!!

It's rats for me too - I couldn't bear to watch Christine Hamilton (I think it was her anyway) on I'm a Celebrity last year, when she had to be in a coffin full of rats, FFS!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaagh! I think I would literally die of fear if I had to do that. And if I ever have the misfortune to come across a real live rat in my house I would move out, I think. Can't stand the things. Yuck.

another emetophobic here. Christmas/new yr one of the worst times for me.
everyone out getting drunk, going to relatives who dont understand/know about my phobia.

dh gets cross when i nag @ him not to drink so much he's ill.
I'm really wary about who he's out with - 2 grps of his mates i can trust, but if he's out with work i get bad. If my bil is about i'm bad to as he eggs dh on a bit.

but dh is great when kids are ill.

my doc didnt really take me seriously. homeopath was great, but nothing we have tried worked. shes recommended my to someopne else so going to follow that up in the new yr.

been like this for years & years since a kid.

sorry for waffling

bw

I also suffer from emetophobia. I purposely stay away from anything that might make me sick. Last weekend, dh had an indian takeaway, and as much as I wanted one, I declined incase I got food poisoning. I am forever worried about accidentally making me or the kids sick. I have pretty much stopped drinking, and if I am going to socialise, I always ask if everyone is well. I sleep on the sofa is dh is sick, and don't eat for days after a tummy bug. I even thought long and hard about having another baby, incase they both got sick at the same time.

I know that I should get help from a dr or something, but am afraid that i won't be taken seriously. No one else seems to understand, including my dh, so it is nice to see that I am not the only one.

jammydodger my dh has the rat one. I once got up to go to the loo in the night and found the hoover on top of the loo seat, he had read an article about how they could come up the loo and couldn't sleep for worrying about it so figured they couldn't push the hoover off if they did make it up to our 3rd floor flat!

I have a seaweed phobia.

Connorsmum, I am also a Connor's mum, IYSWIM. My Connor is very rarely ill thank God, shame about the other three!

Anyway, as I said at the beginning of this thread, I am at last seeking therapy for this phobia and I will definitely keep Mumsnet informed of my progress, so do look out for further postings on this subject as I am hoping I will inspire others to get help too.

LM, I am also lucky in that Connor is not a sicky child. Neither (so far) is my 5 month old.

My main concern now, is that Connor will bring a stomach bug home from nursery. I was reading the other thread on Phobia's and could totally relate to how it effects other aspects of your life. I also don't kiss my children much, although I very much want to. And my poor dh, I hold my breath and keep my mouth as closed as possible when he kisses me incase he catches something from work. I don't know why, but my phobia has got much worse recently (and is always worse at night)

Hi connorsmum, welcome to our thread!!
I also share your phobia, but have found chatting on this thread really helpful.
I noticed you said that your phobia has become much worse lately, are you under a lot of stress at the moment? I only ask because I feel that is when I suffer the worst with mine?

I have always been afraid of heights. I tried to cure it once by forcing myself to go up the tower of a castle.. got halfway up and froze. It's more than just a fear because I feel sick & go into panic mode and I can't move. Lasy year I got stuck on the stairs of a water slide at Wet & Wild. The first slide was fine because although it was high the landscaping had been built up at the side, so effectively the "drop' was a couple of feet.

Got a bit too brave and tried another one, only to get almost to the top and realised that I was stuck. The stairs had gaps between them and I could see down. The only way I got off there was to have DD one side & dm the other & they sort of pulled me up the last flight. The journey down was horrible too because the sides were quite low and I was terrified we were going to bounce over the edge.

It is a very debilitating phobia because it restricts so much normal activity. I went for an interview in a building at Canary Wharf once & the whole of one wall was windows. I was asked to sit by the window & I felt I was going to pass out.

I think feeling sick and panicky and/or going rigid etc are the true signs of a phobia Tallulah so welcome to the club!

Connorsmum, do you think you have got worse recently because Connor has started nursery or is starting to have more contact with the outside world and therefore, you feel the chances of him getting ill are increasing?

My phobia has reached epic proportions because my dh started a new job recently which involved frequent nights away and, like you, I find the nights the worst time. Unfortunately, we had three bouts of illness during that time. He is doing another job now but the nights away continue (although it is usually only one a fortnight). I feel reasonably in control when I know he will be home in the evening, but I panic for days before a night away and the day itself that he is away I am almost paralysed with fear. I want him to change his job so he never has nights away again, but he tells me such a job just isn't out there for him. I don't believe that, but at the same time, I am not comfortable restricting his career because of my stupid phobia. He really likes the job he is doing now, and is about to turn down another job even though it offers more money, so he can continue with what he is doing.

Aimsmum,

I am not sure what has caused my phobia to get worse, although I suspect, like LM has suggested, it probably coincided with Connor starting nursery. Plus, having another baby and having an extension built are making me quite stressed!!

I purposely avoided playgroups and things with Connor and have even considered home schooling, but think that may be boardering on obsessive, plus, it's not fair to inflict my phobia on my children.

LM, my dh went out to a work xmas party last night. I wasn't worried about him getting drunk as he was driving, but was worried about being left here with both children, especially when Connor woke up crying. I was almost paralised (SP?) with fear, but thankfully he just had growing pains. Great big hugs to you for being as brave as you are to cope when your dh is away.

Connorsmum, I definately feel more effected by this when I am stressed out. I was really bad at the start of the year when I split up from my xp. I was dreading being on my own with my DD as I didn't know how I would cope if she got sick. But as you may have seen on the other thread she went through a really bad period over the last 3 or 4 months where she has been quite ill on and off and beeing sick quite a lot, which has been really awful, but each time it happens I feel I get a bit better dealing with it, although I still totally panic, shake etc. But since she had her operation last week I'm hoping things will get better.

Has connor just started nursery?

By the way I can totally sympathise with the growing pains in the night my DD, who has just turned 4 wakes up with this a lot in the night.

I had the same phobia when younger about eating in front of people. I sympathize with you. In today's society so much centers around food that it can severely restrict your life. I finally just started taking baby steps with it (was constantly using my napkin at first, convinced I had food on my face). I was very particular about what I would eat so as to not overly stress myself - no spaghetti etc. It did finally go away for the most part I am happy to say.

Funny what you said about burping. I don't have a problem with that myself (but as I can tell from reading your posts, I don't have as much of a problem about being sick myself as some of you do, ie I eat anything and only worry about myself if I actually feel nauseous.) My main problem focuses on others being sick, especially my children, and yes, I hate them burping because I too associate it as a precursor to being sick. If they just burp once, I make an exaggerated joke of it to check their reaction. If they laugh, I know they aren't feeling sick, but if they look sheepish, I have to ask if they are all right. I don't like them burping deliberately and repeatedly, as all children do sometimes, because I think it will make them sick.
Also, my dh burps a lot, very loudly and I really hate him doing that. Last night, he burped several times in bed (charming image I know!) and I had to fight back the urge to shout "Are you all right? Are you all right?" I try to rationalise it and think, he is a grown-up; if he didn't feel well, he would go to the bathroom. But, yes, it makes me nervous.

I meant to say welcome to Mum2Chloe too! If it is any consolation to you, you are not alone. I can't believe how many Mumsnetters have owned up to this phobia! I wish there was a way forward for us...