I'm polluting my body with shite every evening

[PinkOrchidD]

I feel like shit. I drink, take pills (Valium and Codeine) and smoke weed every evening. I wake up feeling awful.

I have two young kids and I worry that I have to drive them to nursery and school each morning.

I really want this to change.

I would suggest maybe AA or NA as a start. Only you can change

The most important thing is that you have asked for help and that is the first step to change

I have thought maybe I'm developing a problem.

Try to access the local substance misuse service via your GP. You may need support to come off the tablets if you are dependent on them. Good luck. It’s a great start that you recognise you have an issue. Everything can improve if you have the determination and access support.

You want the change.

So now you've got to figure out how you make the change.

The 12 step approach could really really help you enact the change you want. So agree AA or NA, whichever really, will get you on the path to change.

Good luck. I am sure the will to be better for your children and yourself can carry you through this journey

And who's looking after your kids when you're high?

Stop driving, if you can afford weed you can afford a taxi.

And get some help for your kids sakes.

If you are doing that every evening then I would say sadly you have already developed a problem but you have taken the first step in overcoming it. Make sure you do seek advice especially with the tablets to make sure it’s done safely

Do you have a good support network around you?

Stopping obviously sounds scary to me. I just want to be a better person. I wasn't this bad before last year.

Get a support network and get proper help

I have a lovely husband but he's as messed up as me.

I have a support network but would be too ashamed to tell them.

You should be proud of yourself for writing this post and taking the first steps to a positive change :)

No advice I'm afraid, but I believe in you!

Go to your GP. You can't just stop taking valium, going cold turkey from codeine will also be awful.

Will your husband support wanting to make changes? Otherwise you need to seriously consider whether being together is wise.

Have you had a look at the addiction boards on here?

Can you call AA and get some advice as how to make positive changes? Will your husband change too?

Get help before school notice and involve outside authorities....

What age are your children? Would they tell someone in school do you think?

How much do you drink and drugs do you have every day?

I will say that if I knew you were a parent at my DC’s school I would be raising a safeguarding concern about you to them, especially as you say your DH is as messed up as you.

We don't get fucked in front of our kids. They never see us smoking. It's an evening thing. We appear (I think) as a nice normal hardworking family. It's all hidden.

They are 3&6

A local child was seriously hurt the other week because their parent was drunk at the wheel. You need to do something about your problems, and you need to take a close hard look at yourself and your DH and work out if you are putting your DC at risk with your behaviour, and if you are then it may be necessary to ask someone else to step in eg ask a friend to take your DC to school, whilst you sort your addictions out.

I just really want to change and be better. I use it as a de stressing tool so I feel like I need it in that sense

So how much do you drink etc?

I don't think I have a physical dependency to the val or codiene as sometimes I don't have any

What about the alcohol?

I don't know how much I really as I don't remember going to bed