I'm polluting my body with shite every evening

[PinkOrchidD]

I feel like shit. I drink, take pills (Valium and Codeine) and smoke weed every evening. I wake up feeling awful.

I have two young kids and I worry that I have to drive them to nursery and school each morning.

I really want this to change.

OP, are you using these crutches because you are depressed?

You have taken the first difficult step in recognising your current position is untenable. For this you should be proud of yourself.

Make an appointment to see your GP today. Get the ball rolling on your recovery. You will feel better as soon as you start to take control.

Don't drive your kids to school anymore, taxis from now on for everyone's sake until you are clean.

Good luck

Does she though @OrrisRoot?

You and your DH appear to be encouraging each other to do this.
You need to have a plan to get rid of all the alcohol in the house, get rid of all the pills and cancel the weed guy. You must delete his number. Delete all contacts so you can never call in pills/weed again.
Then you both have to do other nice things together- make a plan, box sets/online gym classes etc/bath/yoga/sit out l. Do not bring anymore stuff in the house, neither of you. If you are feeling low speak to each other, support each other. Which one of you is less addicted?

Also think of all the money you're wasting.

I think you know this is really dangerous with such small children in the house and the risks your taking with your children’s lives are enormous if you’re both that fucked up.

Speak to your gp, speak to your husband. You both need to want to do this before something awful happens op.

If you're so drunk you can't remember going to bed , you're not fit to look after your children.
I think you need urgent help.

What happens if one of your DC wakes in the night?

A lot of people find AA (12 step) unhelpful. SMART recovery may make more sense and isn't religious.
Your GP will point you to services.
You can get info on SMART online.

Christ if you don't remember even going to bed it's too much to drive on. If you harmed anyone you'd have to live with that.

Sorry to sound unsympathetic. Get some support with it now.

For your sake and the sake of the children you need to get this in control now. Much better for you to reach out and ask for help than to end up in a position where something happens and school and other services find out that way

Good luck

For the sake of the children it would be better if school did know now

Who is looking after the kids when you’re high? It’s not just the process of getting high, but the effects after. What if one of the kids had an accident or was seriously ill? You wouldn’t be in the right state to care for them and take them to hospital.

Stop driving whilst under the influence. You’ll end up killing your DC or some other innocent person. Stop making excuses!

I do realise the seriousness of it and I feel massively ashamed. I'm a complete hypocrite because I'd never get behind the wheel after more than a glass but I have a sort of cognitive dissonance about driving the next day.

I helped a friend who smokes outside her house drop her DC to school the other day. Even though she smokes outside (not weed just cigarettes) her house I could smell it on her kids clothing. It stank.

I would stop if I was you cos if the school find out it’s a safeguarding issue esp as it’s an illegal substance.

Get help, OP. You have recognised it's a problem, hopefully it's clear how much of a problem. It won't just go away without you accessing support. It's dangerous and you are risking your children. Help is available, and necessary. Contact your GP today. Go from there.

You have a serious problem. You have admitted it to yourself. Make an apt with your GP today.

There is an “addiction” board. You could ask MNHQ to move your thread there @PinkOrchidD

I've sent you a PM OP.

GPs don't have the answers unfortunately, I've been trying to access support from mine for months and they don't seem to give a shit 🤷 gave me details for a service that no longer exists.

You've taken the first step and realise you need help and support , thats a big admission
Please ring a support line before this evening , talk to someone in RL

You aren't alone. Good luck with getting everything under control

I've spoken to AA! They're going to get a woman of similar age in my area to call me in the next few days. I feel it's too risky to speak to the gp with regards to safeguarding.

Well done for taking that step.

Do you know why you take them? As in, have you ever had counselling for the root cause?

@DonnieDark I'm on a app and can't find where to read pms. Sorry

I think it's rooted in stress. I'm not doing anything that others can't do without drink etc but I just find having small children and a busy job defeats me

Well done, OP. Hope you get good support and help from AA. I would have a think about your GP.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/

And this group is specifically for families, might be of use:

adfam.org.uk/