[quote PinkOrchidD]@OrrisRoot that's exactly what I want to be like. To take pleasure in healthy things[/quote]
The gradual slide into dependency, especially alcohol, smoke & prescription pills, can be a Very Middle Class problem, because the apparent "normalcy" of the family life makes it easy to present as functional while hiding increasing levels of consumption.
Congratulations on recognising the need for change, & wanting to commit to a process of recovery. People who commit to taking charge of big personal improvements like this are admirable!
As a first step - speak to your GP about what form that process might take. It's YOUR process, & only you, with expert advice & support, can choose what is most likely to work for you.
The point you make about "wanting to take pleasure in healthy things" is a great one, because it's easier to replace habits than eliminate them. Hence e.g. dietary advice "swap fizzy pop for fizzy water" & "swap sweets for fruit". A big part of your therapeutic process should be your engagement in deciding what makes you happy, what activities/things/achievements you are going to enjoy in place of the substances.
Something as simple as putting the money you would have spent on booze & weed - in cash, the physical form is psychologically important - away in a savings tin can be a powerful motivator. It gives you positive reinforcement by seeing all the cash you now have to buy happy experiences/have security etc - negative reinforcement be seeing how much you would have blown on substances that are adding nothing to the quality of your life.
Another one might be waking up without a hangover.
If you're drinking heavily all the time, you might not even be aware of the hangover, because you've acclimatised to feeling like shit. But as the hangovers disappear, you'll get all the rewards of feeling lighter, clearer headed, less inclined to reach for compensatory junk food or codeine to deal with it. Obviously that's a positive reinforcement in itself, but it leads to other positives like being able to focus at work, so starting to enjoy it more, feel more confident, push for more opportunities. The negative reinforcement is when you realise how much you were stalling in your responsibilities/achievements/career, feel horrifed at the waste, & even more determined to escape the slump of addiction.
If you want to do this, you can do it. It needs dedication, & it's normal to 'slip' - recovery isn't usually a smooth line on a graph, but a series of bumps. So long as the overall pattern is gradual improvement, all is well.
So please do this under medical supervision, & accept all the therapeutic help you can lay your hands on.
FFS do NOT go cold turkey. It will be far too much stress on your physical & mental health, & could easily backfire you into a crisis.
You might want to discuss how to reduce one substance at a time, e.g. tackle the drinking separately from the drugs - or it may be recommended that you go for a simultaneous reduction.
Either way, your focus has to be about more than "volume of substance X ingested today" as a measurement of success.
You will need to focus on the reasons underlying the substance abuse, because until you get an in-depth understanding of that, & a handle on how to manage it, you won't have the tools to recognise, manage & prevent the desire to relapse.
It would be great if you & DH are on the same page, but you can't manage his recovery, & he can't manage yours. So for right now, get in touch with your GP & kick off the process, & ensure that your process is about YOU, not your DH. (You are likely co-dependents or mutual enablers - this is NOT said to 'judge' you, it's just a sad fact of how the condition pans out.) You have to ensure you are each responsible for your own process, not each other's.
Very best wishes to you Pink, & enjoy taking back control of your life 