Emetophobe's dd just been sent home from school feeling sick - support needed please

[DumbledoresGirl]

Hi, it's me.

I am quivering and can hardly move for fear.

Need some calming words.

oh no
you can do this, you will be fine
is she tucked up in bed?

Yes. I am not sure if that is the best place for her. If she falls asleep she might be sick on the bed.... But yes, I have put her to bed. I can't bear to go near her.

Positive story: DS1 has been feeling sick for days and has yet to, er, perform.

When I picked dd up (first day back at school, FGS, where could she have picked a bug up from?) I was such a quivering wreck the secretary and head couldn't help but notice so I told them I was phobic. Head then "helpfully" told me there must be something going round as another child had actually been sick in the dinner hall. That hasn't caused dd's nausea though as apparently she has been feeling unwell all morning. (Was fine when she left for school though in case you think I sent her knowing she was ill).

Oh, and he's feeling fine today. So not actually sick at all.

What do you think it was dragon?

I don't know but there is the inevitable "bug" going round school. I think it may have affected him At The Other End but he's 8.5 so I don't question him!

Dumbledoresgirl, I would keep a bowl/bucket nearby and plenty of towels etc surrounding her. Sit her on the sofa, stick a DVD on and let her settle for the afternoon.

I know it's difficult for you, but having the towels would just mean wrapping them up quickly if needs be and sticking them in the washing machine. And you could always close your eyes if the bowl needs emptying. Not a lot of help I know, but making sure anything is easy to clear up is much more preferable than having to sort floors/sofas etc. Also when mine are poorly I cover their beds (head end with towels) and drape it over and on to the floor.

I'm not an Emetophobe but I really don't like having to scrub things so I always quite careful. Give me the flu any day!!

I hope she feels better soon x

Well when I say give me the flu any day, obviously I don't actually mean that!!

Thanks for the advice. She has a bucket with her. She is not often sick (fortunately, but also in a way, unfortunately) so I do not have any confidence that she will know when it is coming.

I have just been up to check on her though and the colour has come back to her cheeks a bit and she says she feels a bit better, but won't try eating anything. Last time she was sent home from school feeling sick, tired and looking pale, it transpired that she was actually just really hungry! TBH, this looks much the same, perhaps she just needs a bit longer to realise it is hunger? OTOH, this time she was moving really stiffly and slowly like she was experiencing real nausea.

Sorry to gabble on - this is what I am like on these occasions.

I feel quite sick when I am very hungry (felt like it this morning in fact, then realised that maybe a crumpet for dinner last night wasn't quite enough! )so it could be that. Will she nibble on a plain biscuit or anything?

How old is she?

Message withdrawn

LOL, Cod does have a point

She is 7. Adamant that she does not want to eat.

Cod, I do understand your POV, but I really don't want to add to my stress right now. Can I ask you very nicely, please, not to provoke me? I will happily argue this with you another time.

Message withdrawn

It is a characteristic of my phobia that I have an obsessive need to talk about it all the time. I do try not to, when no-one is actually ill, but right now is a crisis, and I need to do whatever I need to do to get through it.

My oldest son is home today (INSET day). I have spoken to him a little (he is 11) as he knows I have this phobia, but I was beginning to say too much to him and I want to protect him all I can so I thought I would come on to Mumsnet. If you don't want to see this thread, please, please click the ignore button. Thank you.

I wish not thinking about it were an option Cod, I really do.

She is the same age as my DS3, and tbh if he's sick I would expect him to deal with it himself, i.e. get himself to the toilet and not make a mess. It would only be if he were sick in the night that I would expect potential mess, and then I would bribe one of my older ds's to clean up, if necessary.

Have you explained to her that it's really important to you that if she's sick she gets herself to the loo in time? I know it's the anxiety about what might happen that gets you, but if you know your child has been primed to be as helpful as possible if the worst happens, you won't feel so helpless, maybe. Hope it's a false alarm anyway.

I have asked her to get it into the bucket. Obviously, I would prefer it if it went down the loo, but I wouldn't trust her to get to the loo in time.

She was last sick 2 years ago. She clearly had no idea it was coming when it did. I had asked her 5 minutes earlier if she felt sick and she had told me no. TBH, I wouldn't trust any of my children to know when they are going to be sick as they are sick so very infrequently.

Whoa! Yes I am agreeing with you now cod - that last post of mine was OTT.

What is it exactly that you are scared of? I know you have a phobia, we all have a phobia about something, but is it the thought that you might catch the bug and be sick yourself?

I was like this for a long time, mainly pre children. I have learnt that your child having a bug probably means YOU WON'T GET IT. Your system is mature, seen all sorts of bugs and infections. Hers is young,and once she has got over this particular strain she probably won't have it again.

Try not to show her how scared you are. She needs her Mum to be there for her, and how you deal with this will impact greatly on how she view similar situations when she grows up.

Be Strong!! And think yourself lucky your children are not sick often.

bloody hell DG .. she's 7 .. I think this is a symptom of your emetophobia ... a 7 year old is more than old enough to get to the toilet .. if it helps my 3 year old gets to the loo to be sick

you need to get someone to tell her if she feels sick she runs to the loo (if you can't cope with it that is)

Your words give me some comfort Twiglett, but do not entirely convince me as I have scarcely any experience of any of my children making it to the loo.

UnionJack, my ultimate fear is that I will be sick, yes. Actually, my ultimate fear is that I will die being sick - I think. I have not had psycho-analysis so I cannot be sure, but I have had 40 years or more of thinking about it, so I think that is the root of it all.

Let's not go into it all now, shall we? I just wanted some friendly reassurance as I faced this crisis. Cod is right, thinking beyond what is necessary to think about is not going to help right now.

If it helps any of you to know, I have bravely offered dd some drink and a plain biscuit as she says she is feeling better. I am so hoping that this was another false alarm.

Sounds like you need to get this addressed. Otherwise every time your children are ill you will be in a state of panic, which helps no-one.

I hope your daughter is alright!