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Original poster

I am ill- ill enough that I can't lift my baby who has croup and is on steroids. DH has to go to work. What can I do?

139 replies

ArtistFormerlyKnownAsSOH · 19/09/2007 09:04

Title says it all. My parents are in Greece, ILs are on a narrow boat somewhere. I can hardly breathe and certainly can't lift 19lb dd who is pretty bad with croup. No friends nearby who aren't working. Is there anything I can do? DD needs regular trips to the bathroom for steam which is making me faint.

There is no chance of dh's employers agreeing to time off.

OP posts:
peggotty · 19/09/2007 09:07

Have you got neighbours that you know/trust?

Original poster
ArtistFormerlyKnownAsSOH · 19/09/2007 09:09

Very rural, nearest neighbours at work.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 19/09/2007 09:09

Can DH phone in sick, putting on a croaky voice?

Wolfgirl · 19/09/2007 09:09

could you ring your health visitor and have her arrange someone from that organisation....whats it called, Surestart or something.

but call her anyway. tell her you need help.

hugs to you.

Original poster
ArtistFormerlyKnownAsSOH · 19/09/2007 09:10

Have no voice at all. Cannot even croak. If I need to call an ambulance for dd- which I did on Sunday as she stopped breathing- I cannot talk.

OP posts:
lulumama · 19/09/2007 09:10

phone local childrens centre, they might know of emergency childcare or help you can get

if you are that poorly, can DH not swing a day off...

even if he has to lie

lulumama · 19/09/2007 09:10

you had to call an ambulance ! how scary

sounds like you and DD are in no fit state to be left alone

Jackstini · 19/09/2007 09:10

Feel for you AFKASOH. Where are you? Any mumsnetters nearby?

TheMadHouse · 19/09/2007 09:11

I hate to be the one to say it, but you are not allowed to be ill and you just have to manage We lived 400 miles away from any support, in the end DH stayed home and got a warning, then changed jobs. You are superwoman and you will manage - I believe that positive thinking can help

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/09/2007 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama · 19/09/2007 09:11

where do you live, is there a mumsnetter near who could help?

Wolfgirl · 19/09/2007 09:11

and also, that is bad that your DHs org. wont allow him time off. I guess diff companys have diff. policies. But Ive been so bad before now, and DH has had to take the day off. It doesnt come off his hols allowance, Carers dependence leave. Most companies (I think) allocate 5 days per year. Not a lot of people know this, so have him check it out AFKAS

Original poster
ArtistFormerlyKnownAsSOH · 19/09/2007 09:11

Phoned and left a message with hv who is about 7 miles away so I can't drop into the clinic and ask for help. DH is refusing to call in sick. He's not heartless. The business would stop if he didn't go in. Frankly, I care not but he incapable of lying to them.

OP posts:
ruddynorah · 19/09/2007 09:11

your dh's employer have an obligation to allow him the time off as he has a sick child with no one else to look after her. who does he work for?

littlelapin · 19/09/2007 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peggotty · 19/09/2007 09:12

I think that your dh has to explain to his employers that you are very ill, your dd is ill and has actually stopped breathing on one occasion, and that he needs time off to look after you both. His employers would have to be monsters not to agree. What a horrible situation for you.

LilRedWG · 19/09/2007 09:13

Your DH should really phone in sick, say he's got D&V or something. I don't normally condone throwing a sicky, but it's not as though he's doing it to go and play golf.

Hope you feel better soon.

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/09/2007 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfgirl · 19/09/2007 09:13

NO MadhHouse, thats not helpful. sometimes you just cant manage. she needs help. (I agree that if there is no help at all, then yes she will manage, but it puts her and her baby at risk if she is weak and can barely stand...etc)

maybe we should start a thread for some Mumsnetters who might live nearby to go and help, and keep it bumped.

Im happy to start the thread!

where do you live AFKAS

pyjamagirl · 19/09/2007 09:13

Where do you live maybe a local mumsnetter could come and help?

LilRedWG · 19/09/2007 09:13

Beat your husband with a big stick! You and your DD are far more important.

ladymuck · 19/09/2007 09:14

Sorry, but your dh needs to stay and look after dd (and you!). At the very least he needs to stay until you can get a temp nanny along (have you tried phoning any agencies yet?)

lulumama · 19/09/2007 09:14

agree with TMMJ

if the business would stop without him, what happens if he got sick, or had a bereavement

your DD is very, very ill, as are you, and you could be in a situation where you cannot call for help

DumbledoresGirl · 19/09/2007 09:14

If the situation was that bad, I would never have allowed dh to go to work. You faint when you have to take dd into the steamy bathroom? In fact, I don't think even my dh would have gone to work. He should have rung up and pulled a sickie.

I feel for you, but hopefully you will feel better later in the day. I usually find the morning and evening are the times I feel worst if I am ill.

ladymuck · 19/09/2007 09:15

If your dh is an employee then he is legally entitiled to unpaid leave to sort this out - they cannot sack him etc.