I am ill- ill enough that I can't lift my baby who has croup and is on steroids. DH has to go to work. What can I do?

[ArtistFormerlyKnownAsSOH]

Title says it all. My parents are in Greece, ILs are on a narrow boat somewhere. I can hardly breathe and certainly can't lift 19lb dd who is pretty bad with croup. No friends nearby who aren't working. Is there anything I can do? DD needs regular trips to the bathroom for steam which is making me faint.

There is no chance of dh's employers agreeing to time off.

ring again and weep down the phone.

Yes it IS enough time to find cover! I don't understand what is going on here. DH needs to phone in and say there is a family emergency and he can't make it. He needs to do this now, to enable his workplace to find cover - that is their responsibility, and you are his responsibility.

Let's be rational about this - although MNers are virtual friends in reality we are strangers - would you prefer you DH to look after you and DD or someone you have never met?

Forgive me for asking this, but is there some issue between you and DH which is preventing him from doing the obvious thing here?

I think you should go to bed if he isnt working till 1pm, then dh will understand how bad dd is, he can bring her in to feed but do all the staeming this morning. Then hopefully you both will feel better by then and he will realise what exactly he is asking you to do while sick.

Is this your first baby? Has he not totally adjusted to the responsibilty of another person yet?

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I'm in Norwich and not doing anything much between lunch and the school pick-up that can't easily be put off. However, I have no transport other than a bike - if you're on one of our lovely First Bus routes, I will happily breathe steam with a croupy baby.

TMH, I know you aren't being evil! You were trying to help but I'm hormonal, ill, have a 4month old who feeds every hour or so, have not slept more than an hour together in over a week and having a wee little meltdown.

Will of course let all and sundry on MN know if I need scraping from the keyboard by a better woman than me. I'm not one of those superwomen mums atm.

SOH - My DH once got calle dup in front of his Wing Commander because he refused point blank to go on an exercise in the Highlands when I was bedded with flu. Dh's boss had reported him to further up the chain of command, DH said "My wife is ill, her and my children are my main priority, not the RAF"
and he stayed at home

Agree with TWAH - as lovely as it is that there are MNers willing to come and help you, it shouldn't actually be necessary for you to need the care of strangers.
You have a husband.

Cod, I know your house is steam driven, but in this century a lot of us have laptops...

And your DH CANT get into trouble, he is legally entitled to emergency time off for this very reason.

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soh-go to bed,you may feel better by 1pm

Bugger. Two sick babies won't help matters. Please text if you need me to make any annoyed phone calls on your behalf.

But to echo what is being said here. Your DH IS entitled to time off for emergencies. I know he has history with the job stuff and no doubt can't bear to go through it all again, but honestly, it would be better if he stayed off. They can't sack him and if they try, then you're in for a very large unfair dismissals settlement. You have medical records to prove that this really is an emergency.

Love to you. x

GP is in fancy dress for the day. After long, hard consideration he is dressed as a chocolate teapot. And he's not even got that right.

Apparently I should feel better within 4 days, if I'm still under the weather after 4 weeks he'll book me in for an appointment. About as much bloody use as the paediatrician in hospital who advised that dd was struggling so much with croup because she was exclusively bf. She recommended weaning or formula milk which is 'heavier and more beneficial' for 4 month olds. I spent hours looking for something exceedingly heavy to throw at her ill-informed head.

DH has asked if I minded if he goes and picks up his magazine from the newsagents?

Oh and he's coughing now.

Have mental image of Cod dressed as Fred Dibnah.

My brother is going to phone his work and lie- say his dw is poorly and he needs compassionate leave. He is about an hour and a half away so can be here before dh leaves for work.

So you're brother is willing to lie but your husband isn't even willing to tell the trutyh?

Sorry, I'm sure this isn't helping but, honestly... you seriously need to have words.

Your dh should be ashamed of himself. His attitude is unbelievable really.

TYG, the silly boss woman that caused all the grief earlier this year and forced dh into resigning and finding work elsewhere has been sacked after a police investigation. Nearly every member of staff raised a grievance at once. Oh and our cat that went missing you remember? She had nicked it and had it locked in her flat. She's a nutjob.

Thank you for all of your help and support. Am returning to bed. You can officially stand down.

When my voice returns we are having words chezSOH and I've got days to plan my diatribe.

He has to take the day off. If not now, when?
Show him the thread!
Good luck, strength, etc.

My brother would have said "well X is there, why can't he take the day off"

This is madness - so your brother can LIE and get time off and your DH won't tell the TRUTH and get time off?

Even if he worked somewhere like a council run care home environment, where essentially he would be the main keyworker on duty - there is enough time for them to provide cover in a scenario like yours.

I can't read any more of this nonsense - something's not quite right here

DH must stay home. I can think of NO job where it is vital for someone to go in in an emergency. And this is a family emergency for him.

And as he isn't in till 1pm anyway - you need to get to bed now and get some rest.

Your dh is being a tosser. He shouldn't be asking for time off, he should be phoning work and telling them he can't come in. Not even up for discussion.