"I crack the whip, and you skip" - 10 / 10 Boot Camp

[FrannyandZooey]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

LL don't worry about friends who have more than 1 child. IME, another child to play with doesn't even register on the radar. Ask for help, people usually want to help and you need to gather a good support network around you at times like this.
And you are welcome to email me if you just want to let off steam/have a moan/cry on someone's shoulder etc. Seriously.

I come on here, looking for fellow fetishists, and what do I find?

Bloody veggie-worshippers.

seriously, LL, what Franny said was spot on (as usual! ) If you were under this much stress, and you don't have to vocalise it or alter your behaviour, a child's radar wll pick up on it instantly, and your 3 year old child went all quiet and super helpful THEN I would be worried. A child should naturally feel angry and upset that its usual maternal support system is not operating 100%, that's a classic good outcome of a well-attached child. Meanwhile, the neurotically attached child (product of less than optimum mothering) will be concerned to make the mother feel better, not themselves. Wanting to look after your parent's feelings first and foremost is not healthy in such a young child. In summary, you have done and are doing a fab job as a mother and your DS's ability to express exactly whatever he feels - confusion, upset, anxiety manifest through temper - is great. Although tough for you to deal with.

Oh no, Lullabye, what dreadful news for you all. Please don't feel like a bad mother on top of everything else, like Franny says, it's the fact that you are such a good one that this has affected him. His reaction is classic but very hard for you to bear at the moment.

If you possibly can speak to your good friends then you must. You need help now. I would be mortified if someone felt they couldn't ask in this situation and I'm sure your friends would want to be there for you. You have all our support and hugs here.

Thanks all..it's lovely to come on here & feel supported
In rl am not great at reaching out or asking for help..I just want to retreat into my shell & for normality to be restored.

I want to feel like me again,not this person i've become in the last few weeks,everything hurting &painful & horrid.
I now have this horrible mental image of these things growing inside me I want to sleep,sleep,sleep & have it all gone when I awaken

instead..we have to do food shopping & then dh will take ds for a swim while I grin & make suitable wooo hooo noises & then conjur up a suitably delicious tea

oh..had warm lentilonion,fennel,tomato,olive,pepper,celery & goats cheese salad

Ah, Mrs C, I have a question for you, oh porridge guru. (I am meant to be leaving this thread and getting on with Work but as Aviatrix warned, it has a magnetic lure Besides which, you are all too interesting, knowledgeable and darned funny.)
Anyway, tried LO on millet porridge this morning, sweetened with puree of pear & cinnamon and he made, [copyright Greeny] " a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle". He was not impressed. And looked at me as if to, if (heaven forfend) a 10 month had such lurid vocabulary, "FFS Mother, what in God's name was that?" The millet is freshly bought, does it, well, just taste disgusting? Should I go with porridge oats instead? (Was trying for no gluten until a year just to be cautious but at this rate I'll put him off breakfast altogether unless I come up with something yummy PDQ.)

LL, as DH is around, why can't he take you all out to tea as a treat after swimming? Save you cooking/preparing food and then doing the washing up. Might restore some festivity to the atmosphere for DS, going out for a treat.

Oooh, I don't know, Possum. Have you tried it, and if so was it bland? What's his usual breakfast? Lo is only seven months but he just has apple puree and rice toast.

I am going to try and avoid gluten for the year but it is tempting to try pinhead oatmeal. I make mine with oats and occasionally flaked quinoi but I've never tried millet.

Tatties - I drink white tea with a hint of pomegranate.

and LL, you are still maing impossibly covetable lunches!

I have had vegi sushi and salad just for a change . God the weather is shite here, is this countrywide?

pinhead oatmeal? Tis is a whole new world. What's that?
What's rice toast?
i did tried the millet - it was slightly bitter. Urgh. I didn't like it either. I'm trying to build up to three meals a day to make it easier for DH when i go back to full time work in october. but, already, DS is drinking less breast milk and I feel weirdly grief stricken. Where is my tiny baby? It's ridiculous, I must pull myself together. He still loves his early morning and last thing at night feed and when he has had an upset he immediately reaches for the boob - is that a bad habit? [anxious emoticon], [am I a weirdy clingy mother doubt emoticon]
On here trying to deal via displacement activity with anxiety of pre hospital visit nerves, for LO's check up, I always dread being told there has been a relapse, I think there might have been in spite our best efforts. His teething pain has been so appalling for the past 3 weeks by 3am we've been taking the boots off to enable him to get some relief. Hence he's been getting about 5 hours a day in the boots and it should be 12. Relapse is very rapid, due to cell multiplication in babies being so furious. Enough blathering....

I mean DS having 3 meals a day, i eat about 10.

pinhead oatmeal

rice bread

You can get both of these at any health food store I think, and probably the bigger supermarkets. Lo loves the toast, he has some every morning. It's expensive but I freeze it in half slices and pop it in the toaster, same as all my breads. I'm the only one who eats them, they'd just go off otherwise.

I think morning, bedtime and a comfort feed is fairly normal for that age, Possum, well, amongst us lot anyway. Relapse? Relapse in what, sorry if I missed something important...

LL Huge hugs!!
I wish we lived closer. If there is anything I can do long-distance, please please do say!
You are a wonderful mother, please don't doubt that.
Just a thought...have you ever had any connection with Quakers? They are IME lovely lovely people and very supportive and keen to help. It may be the last thing you want to do, but if you feel up to it why not try going along to one of their meetings?

my grandmother is a Quaker

Great! Have you ever been?

Lullaby I don't know if you have ever tried, or thought of trying, spiritual healing? I am not a Christian nor a spiritualist but I have gone to a spiritual healer and experienced quite intense reactions. I expect it is in the mind but of course the mind is incredibly powerful. I found it very emotionally comforting to have all this positive energy directed at me by another human being. I don't know if you have any alternative health centres near you? The one near us offers healing at a "pay what you can" rate one day a week. Just a thought.

I really do agree, again, with what everyone has said about your ds's behaviour being appropriate and desirable in this situation. So sorry it is so wearing for you, though. Also second the Samaritans for space to talk through whatever you want. If you don't click with whoever answers the phone initially, call back at another time. All the volunteers are so different and you may find some you can open up to much easier than others.

Possum I think millet is awful. We never eat it, despite Greeny calling me a millet muncher

Wanting to breastfeed after an upset is GOOD, it's how it SHOULD BE. I can't believe you gave such good advice to LL and then are doubting the beneficial qualities of breastfeeding to comfort your baby! Trusting that others will help you when you need them, and learning that turning to people you love will comfort you, during difficult times, is just right. Ds was feeding on demand many times each day at this age and continued to breastfeed frequently until he was 2 or older. It's also good for you, and helps you to be calm and loving (should you need any help, that is I am sure you are just naturally perfect anyway)

Skeletal nanny, sorry to disappoint you

if you tried eating more f+v perhaps you would be less, ahem, bony?

And LL, your homoeopath?

Mrs Carrot - DS has talipes, also known as club foot, weher the foot naturally turns in and down. He has been under treatment since birth to correct it so it functions like a normal foot. The special boots have to be worn at night until he is 4 or 5 as the growing foot will keep wanting to relapse to its pre-corrected position. Anyway, all was fine, phew.
I get v confused over the b/feding thing and how many feeds he 'should' be having at this age. Some days it is seven or eight, other times just two or three. He was offered solids from 6 months but literally refused until a month ago and then, there was no stopping him. he shovels it all in EXCEPT for millet. The expression on his face this morning was quite priceless. Thanks for the recommendations Mrs C, all look yummy to me
LL, hope after tea and bath/bedtime you can put your feet up and unwind. Franny's is an interesting suggestion apropros alternative/spiritual healing. I thought all that a bit, erm, 'dodgy', but have been mightily impressed by a Reiki healer a friend suggested I give a go. I like you have been using a homeopath with excellent results. I hope you can garner as much support as possible from as wide a spectrum of people as possible.

Possum, the advice from kellymom and LLL (which I always find very good) is that until your child is one year old, the majority of their nutrients should be coming from breastmilk, and, for that reason, milk should always be offered before other foods. Breastmilk is still a very important part of a child's diet at this age, and I would concentrate on keeping feeds frequent, to ensure you both continue to benefit from all the advantages. I think the usual assumption in this society is that breastfeeding is so onerous and unpleasant, that women are keen to stop as soon as they can, and that any opportunity to stop / cut down should be embraced wholeheartedly. It's a shame, as breastfeeding can be so positive for both of you as toddlerhood looms.

Thank you for that support Franny, it is astonishing, the absolute barrage of 'advice' from all and sundry to give up b/feeding as it will "liberate you/give you back your old life etc etc". My life is forever changed. i don't want my old life back. I accepted when I got pregnant that nurturing a small person is a long term undertaking. I find it curious how early (too early?) independence is pushed in our culture. Why, I wonder.
i have discovered a love of sprouted bean things. Yum in a salad or stir fry.
I said I was going, didn't I?
TooTicky, thanks for ewmail, will reply

Another advocate of bf into toddlerdom here. Have bf for 2 and a half years, 1 and a half years, nearly 3 years and still going strong at 2