nicotime is a monster that will die if don't feed it!

[fionagib]

Hi Folks - this thread continues from a v long previous thread... a few of us are desperately trying to kick the evil weed and will do it this time! A new thread, a new start! Let's help and support each other, splurge out those frustrations here.

Personally I feel like if I don't do it this time I am gonna take charliecat' suggestion and knock myself out with a hammer.

Come on girls - we know it' crap, and we feel so awful sneaking back in and our kids being near us and having honkng breath (us, that is...)
Let's do it this time, am am committed to this...

morning all,
woodpops you did make me laugh, that's the kind of thing I've done, tho not quite so early... it makes you think you're going stark raving barmy doesn't it. That there is no life. But it will pass (won't it?!). Life will become normal again and you'll just be able to tell that niggling craving voice - the one that whispers, 'You wanna fag, you wanna fag, have-one-have-one' - to sod off!

SOD OFF LITTLE NIGGLING VOICE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!Hope all's good with everyone... dh off sick so smoking in kitchen, am hiding in workroom, working (honest). CC you will reach a point when you not only don;t care about fags but think my god - I used to smoke billions of those. Yeeugh.

Ooops, just to clarify, it's sick-the-flu dh who's smoking in kitchen, not me!!

Ding, goes the halo... f xx

had 3 today ffs. dont ask i dont know rant rave will sort myself out. In fact im thinking of typing out Allen Carr page by page so I read it and take it in and see it..

Anyone got a spare mallet

poor cc, and you've run out of oils!!!

could you get your dp to take baccy to work with him so there isn't any at home? Come on hon - all the words of wisdom you've dished out to us! The odd cig will mean you're soon up to your old quota and you'll feel so foul & miserable & all chesty again - please stop, cc, write off today as a blip & come back here all strong tomorrow - YOU CAN DO THIS!

You've done so well so far, this is a teeny hiccup. YOU ARE NEARLY THERE, NEARLY FREE!

You're gonna feel so proud & strong. Big hugs xx

Cheers Fiona im feeling sick of it all, like yourself the other night when you sadi you were unsure about how you felt about fags.
I am so so so so so sick of thinking about them, to have one just stopped me thinking abou them for 5 mins
I know I know
I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to put Shrek on for the kids later and induldge in A.C from start to finish.
I will never give up giving up.
Be back later xxx

Like to break the neck of the twats that bullied me into smoking I would.

Crying now
idiot

You're not an idiot, you've done brilliantly for someone who's smoking loads and loads for over 10 years. Why not chuff the odd one through the rest of the day and ban all baccy from house when your dp is out, and get on with the business of giving up tomorrow. Back to the old one day at a time mentality.

Look how many times I've cracked these past few weeks. You've been far far stronger. You're doing fine, cc, it really just is a wee blip-ette, and doesn't warrant your self hatred and feeling so crap - come on honey YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE!!

Yes, thinking about them constantly is a pain, it's awful - but it'll happen less and less and in a few weeks' time the odd wanna-wanna-wanna-fag thought will pop up, and you'll just be able to sweep it away (AND never feel bad for sitting away from your girls on a train platform!)

xxxxxxxxx

Poor cc, don't feel so sh@t. it has happened to ALL of us recently and more than once!! just came back from post office and posted off your oil, should hopefully make you feel a bit better! haven't sent back cd rom yet as i haven't searched ebay for a book yet either so need to hang on just in case!

don't work yourself up, remember how geared up you were yesterday!

sorry it's so short, why am i so busy these days?!!!

Thanks you too, thank you so much for the oils, new bottle new start, how strange that one day of smoking ahs made me feel so shit, er actually, 4 fags it has been yet its knocked me to shreds...ive lost count, where is everyone, when was everyones last fag? I have started rereading A.C while waiting for dd to come out of school. i am going to carry it with me till I feel strong enough. I may even attack it with a highlighter pen for nuggetts for all of us.
I really feel like such a bloody twat.........BIG SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMM

OOHHHHHHH so would I...thats what my aim is really, to look at a fag every time and just think no thanks. Now that does happen, but id like it to be EVERYTIME.

Cant believe I wrote that only a few hours ago...it was you two not too BTW!

in mad tea rush here but hope you're feeling better cc! xxx

Feeling better in the fact I know im back out of the shitty pit tommorow, feel like ive never been off the fags can you believe that???
When youve got time Fg can you tell me about yout hypnotherapy seesion and your A.C session ta xx

Probably a loony idea, but im thinking of heading to the chemists tommorow and getting that stuff that you put over your fingers to stop yourself biting your nails, tastes bitter and quite revolting. thinking of putting some on my littlest finger so when the urge to go raid the nearest ashtray gets me, I can stick my pinky in my mouth and my senses will be so utterly distracted the craving will have passed. Loony idea??????
Think im gonna try it, its the clear liquid version of the mallet I feel.

Its been a long day...too long..made longer because i dont want to be smoking...at least tommorow night i will have that as ammunitiion that the days long because i am/or am not smoking IYKWIM

Loony it may be but if it works so what. I used to carry an empty Bic biro (ie just the plastic outer) for a long time cos it helped to hold it, chew it & yes, suck it ..

Do whatever it takes to get you over the worst bits & sod what anyone else thinks, it's not them that is STOPPING smoking, YOU ARE.

I'll stop shouting now and go to bed, but will just leave you with one of my old, edited posts:

"Oh yes, the Voice.... 'You'll be fine, you've come this far, you've proved you can do it now, one won't hurt, go on you know it'll be fine..'

Nightmare isn't it ?

But it does go away eventually, I would suddenly realise I'd not thought about it for a day (subsititute minute/hour/week as applicable) then I found I'd be obssessed again for a while until I was distracted.

My willpower is deeply suspect, even after 5 years (this time) I had to be careful at the last MN meetup I went on.

Stick at it guys, it's a tough few weeks/months but as a proportion of the rest of your (longer) life it's not so much. If you do fall off though jump straight back on if you can.

Finally, a loud outburst from my dd in a DIY store last week:

'Mummy why does that man smell so disgusting ?'

"

Cor i know im talking to myself here, but i preferred the Bang this shit on the head mad nutter chewing gum than this depressed state thats slumped in the cjair and hasnt even pressed the !!!!!!!!!!!!button once.
Roll on tommorow!!!In anticipation

Cheers Again Twink, please keep them coming, im looking forward to waking up with 8 hours behind me

i used to use that stuff as a teenager to stop biting nails, but you kind of get over the bitter taste in order to get to where you want to be! try it though, it might make you feel better!

goodish day today, tired but still non-smoker since yesterday afternoon. went to get a curry tonight and whilst the restaurant said 'croydon council award for smoke free area', i came out smelling of fags like i'd been to the pub. not nice. however as i was sitting htere, i got cravings even though it stank! having craving now actually as curry was yummy....

don't worry, don't have any in the house and can't be arsed to go out and buy any during the day, plus sis is with me so 'should' be okay for another 24 hrs since that's how we're counting right?

how is everyone else and who's on board exactly, i'm confused with all our indiscretions CALLING FG, MIDDEN, HIDDEN SPIRIT, WOODPOPS, WILLOW2...did i forget anyone?!!

why don't you have an early night cc? it'll be tomorrow before you know it

Hey cc, much sympathy, I was going to bed at 8pm too when I gave up (I was pregnant too mind you!) and I cried so many times, both when I failed AND when I had partly succeeded stopping but really really wanted (or thought I wanted) a fag. But you can start again tomorrow, you can! It does go away, the craving, Twink is right. Make a solemn promise to yourself blah blah blah. Chin up sweetie!

The only thing I can say in my defence is each time i have F*ed up I have learnt something new. This time it has been that last night I thought the time was going slow because I couldnt smoke.
Tonight I know the time is going slow because I want it to be tommorow so I am NOT smoking.
Grass is always greener and all that!
My poxy sister in my time of need:
i thought about it for about two weeks but i just didnt let myself have one! i didnt let myself go anywhere near a fag so its harder for you coz paddy smokes. i just had the will power to do it i guess, and i wanted the extra money!
Makes it sound so easy! Bitch!
Love her really, but she didnt struggle and looks at me with aaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh PITY when she sees me roll a fag.
Must stop if only so she cant...see you about 7 am folks!!!!!

night night all!

cc, just checked email, so thanks again and i will set myself up on msn sometime soon...was meant to ahve an early night - this damn machine!!!!

Morning! Hope today goes well for us all. Hope fully going to the doctors about my foot as well. Ill be fine.....

DRAT!!! BUGGER!!!!!

Just wrote long reply and have managed to erase it somehow!

Hope you're feeling much better this morning cc. A new start... you can do this. You'll feel free, clean, in control and justifiably very proud of yourself for quitting DESPITE having a dp who smokes! YOU CAN DO THIS!!

If you go to bed tonight not having smoked, you'll have done day one & will feel chuffed with yourself...

Stick that stuff on your nails, why not? Whatever works - am crunching sesame ryvita madly, am v windy & pongy

cc - that A C session - this was years back, when he just started I think, at Raynes Park - I was in my early twenties - the talk was hugely motivational and all that, but I walked out into the sunshine and lit up!! With hypno I was on hol in Sydney, a friend had raved about this guy -but he just shoved on a tape (combination of AC type message plus relaxation techniques) and left me lying on a bed, and 2 days later I was fagging again. I think you just have to do it. Like you've often said cc - fight it! DO NOT HAVE ONE. There are times when the cravings are immense and a lot of fighting has to be done!! Don't believe your sis found it easy - or maybe she wasn't that addicted??

Will catch up later before school's out - better crack on with work...
f xxx ps thought about your twink when I was running this a.m. - thought, twink can do a 10k in under 50, and it spurred me on! Am looking forward to lung feeling clean again, they don't yet.