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Original poster

nicotime is a monster that will die if don't feed it!

280 replies

fionagib · 05/09/2004 23:40

Hi Folks - this thread continues from a v long previous thread... a few of us are desperately trying to kick the evil weed and will do it this time! A new thread, a new start! Let's help and support each other, splurge out those frustrations here.

Personally I feel like if I don't do it this time I am gonna take charliecat' suggestion and knock myself out with a hammer.

Come on girls - we know it' crap, and we feel so awful sneaking back in and our kids being near us and having honkng breath (us, that is...)
Let's do it this time, am am committed to this...

OP posts:
Original poster
fionagib · 15/09/2004 11:54

by the way have been a sucker for all kinds of stop smoking therapies - I have I AM A MUG! PLS TAKE MY MONEY! written on my forehead but have decided that basically there is no trick that can help, apart from ploughing through A.C...

am suffering the old wavering concentration thing... must get on with work, must get on with work.... grrrrrrr!

OP posts:
charliecat · 15/09/2004 13:04

Hello again! I managed to walk up to school with dd this morning really great, got to my mums saw a loads of rotten filthy ashtrays and rolled a fag out of the gunge that was in there....sometimes my own intelligence astonishes me
Then I went to the doctors about my foot and while I was there asked her to tell me why I shouldnt smoke and she said "Well if you smoke you can guarentee your children will too" and i burst into tears. The thought of them being in the fucking state I am in...jeesus. Too much.
So I havent had anymore.
I then went up to Xray, surrounded by wheezing old codgers, and that made me think my god you dont really want to be in here wheezing like that do you? Anyway I have broken my foot, and that was 10 days ago now, which will be why it still hurts as much as it did the day I did it.
Salt and Vinegar crisp munching here with tears in my eyes.
Doctor asked if I had fags in my bag, i said no I have an Allen Carr Book in my bag, she said well maybe you should swop that for a nice novel instead as Id said it was consuming my whole life.
Might just do that.
Move on and up, sniffle.
Have no desire for a fag, just feel utterly defeated and miserable as the nicotine leaves my system AGAIN.
Thanks for listening!
Oh and MM Thanks you for my oils, very nice, must say I liked the other ones better, but only in the sense that they were a good sharp shock to my irritated nostrils...and these ones well, smell like they will do just what I asked for Calm, deep smelling calming sniffs!
Thank You xxxxxxxx

Original poster
fionagib · 15/09/2004 14:34

cc you ready don't need cigs! You've done a month or therabouts with none at all, just the odd herbal which is different. And although you craved you really weren't that bad, or didn't sound that bad, most days!

I really feel for you cc because when I have caved in I've felt like such a crappy useless idiot which has made me want to stuff my face with fags & body with poison through self loathing. I've sat at this computer in tears, wanting to slap myself. I've spent a week shouting at my kids cos I've been craving and having a cig, feeling shit, then craving and having a cig again - repeat ad anfinitum! I've gone and downed a whole bottle of wine in an hour because I've been so sick and disgusted at myself.

Let's get out of this hellish pit once and for all.

Please break this cc! Cigs make you feel so crap and depressed hon. Soon all this will be behind you, and you can move on and feel in control again, and very proud of yourself. xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
fionagib · 15/09/2004 14:36

and I'm really sorry to hear about your poor foot cc, no wonder you're feeling rotten.

OP posts:
charliecat · 15/09/2004 15:58

Well ive got to now with no fags. not the slightest withdrawel pang really, not even in the mind. i feel a sort of numb, this is it sensation. And my god i hope it is!
Was last night comtemplating at the end[ish] of the last thread we were busy chatting quite carefree not even mentioning fags hardly, then BANG have a fag smack your head on a brick wall we have all licked the shit out the bottom of the bucket and felt dreadful for it.
So WHY oh WHY do our brains try and tell us that we want this shit.
It makes you feel like your going bloody mad!
Hope everyone else is ok.
Thanks you FG...and how are you? And MM where ry?

WideWebWitch · 15/09/2004 20:04

Well done cc and fionagib and anyone else who hasn't smoked today.

minkmama · 15/09/2004 21:04

Hi everyone,

CC, your poor foot and poor you! i don't think i can say anything that fg hasn't already said so well, so...

rub some of that oil on and inhale deeply over and over. make sure all is quiet around you and think about how 'carefree'as you put it, we were this morning and determined to release ourselves from the demon drug. and that is purely what it is. a drug. remind yourself of this and just imagine yourself in a good place. in that moment, you are perfect. forget all else for those 5-10mins and just rest your brain and body.

i know how sh@t it is to look back at a post and see that you were going on about kicking this thing only to smoke within several hours. i did it all last week!!

take each moment as it comes and remember that each fag you don't have is one step further to the next one that you don't smoke

how are you fg? and how's the book? i don't know how you or any writer can be asked to write a BOOK and then do it!! where on earth do you start? hope the flow is working for you!

had a good busy day full of house cleaning, food shopping, laundry and sucking of lozenges. had a beer at dinner and missed the obligatory puffs but did without none the less.

oh and btw cc, that bottle i just sent is actually the same size as the other it just looks a lot smaller!!! if you don't like the smell, be honest! you can send it back and i'll do you a diff. one

charliecat · 15/09/2004 21:09

LOL MM its not that I dont like the smell its just what i said, that first one smelt so strong and powerful it made me feel the same, the new one is exactly what it says on the bottle calming..which is what i asked for and its fine, just different!
Hobbling round my bombsite house trying to tidy it, as my foot has been aching I have let the housework slip and its a BIG MESS. Needs done though;(

minkmama · 15/09/2004 21:26

no it doesn't need to be done silly, leave it...i'm obsessive about cleaning and even I don't think anyone should do it with a broken foot!!! go and rest, it's been a long day as you said and just RELAX.

Original poster
fionagib · 15/09/2004 21:47

hi mm, like what you said to cc about inhaling over and over, being in a calm place and all that - sounds lovely, am gonna do it myself after baff. Inhale! Inhale! Gazelle! Gazelle!

Book coming along at creakily slow pace, but at least happening... have started right at beginning again, knocking it into shape, cos it was getting out of control. Feel okay about it. Sort of calm (and slow!!). Will be in mad stressed wine-craving frenzy in January, no doubt...

just been to ruddy co op, still have to unpack shopping, change our bed due to dh's sweating (ick!) at night while he had flu, am knacked... did see a young girl walking along street puffing and I did think, please don't do that, don't start, it's so crap! Of course I didn't say that

Not too bad today, no majorly fierce carvings, just perpetual low-level ones that can be pushed aside during exciting visits to co op!

dh is gonna hog PC now so will have to say goodnight xxx

OP posts:
minkmama · 15/09/2004 22:08

hi fg, lol at inhale inhale gazelle gazelle...only a writer could make up something that poetic

i think most people are best under pressure aren't they? i know i am, if there's no-one to kick my butt, i can't finish a thing - witness quitting!!!

Twink · 15/09/2004 22:23

CC I had the advantage over you as I was totally incapable of rolling a fag even when entirely desparate; mine would either go out or woosh..

Try putting a wooden splint (lolly stick) on your most important finger so you can't hold a rollup properly.

Night night all, mind the nicotine bugs don't bite

Twink · 15/09/2004 22:25

CC I had the advantage over you as I was totally incapable of rolling a fag even when entirely desparate; mine would either go out or woosh..

Try putting a wooden splint (lolly stick) on your most important finger so you can't hold a rollup properly.

Night night all, mind the nicotine bugs don't bite

charliecat · 15/09/2004 22:26

I have used the very last lot of my oils...moving to calming ones tommorow. im sorely tempted to actually take a hammer with me and literally smack myself over the head with it everytime fffaaaaggggggggggggggggg enters my head, wonder what the littlies at nursery would think of that!!!!!!!
Your motivation for finishing your book FG is so that I can read it! I left a comment on a thread here somewhere saying that I have a signed copy of babyface and [smuggrin] when your as famous as charles dickens im gonna sell it on ebay
Knowing me i will too!!!
Do you remember old codgers saying you shouldnt do that(smoke) and thinking what do you know you noset bugger...if only wed listened....whistful sigh

Twink · 15/09/2004 22:26

Sorry guys, got a server error first time.

charliecat · 15/09/2004 22:27

Twink we seem to cross posts everytime!

minkmama · 15/09/2004 23:26

i'm off to bed girls so see you tomorrow, good luck with the calming oils cc! nice to have you with us twink!!

Original poster
fionagib · 16/09/2004 09:36

Morning girls - hope you've got the hammer ready cc, it's your oil-switching day isn't it - hope you feel caaaaalm.... am meant to be doing a detox for a ruddy feature and already I've broken it - am doing ok-ish without fags but CANNOT ditch my morning cup of coffee - was all hazy and bleary - would never have got any work done...

It's the dr gillian mckeith one from her book 'you are what you eat' - all soaking blasted linseeds in water, making 'soup' out of cucumbers, nibbling seeds... am happier to be a juice fiend & seed nibbler sometimes but GIMME THAT COFFEE!!

Will look out for b'face on ebay cc!

mm you haven't mentioned fags much lately - take it your sister's visit has taken your mind off them?

yeah good to have you here twink, after all you've done it, cracked it - could I pls ask you to tell us sometime how your life's improved since you quit, as sometimes I lose sight of the benefits and why I'm doing this!!

OP posts:
Original poster
fionagib · 16/09/2004 11:03

hidden spirit how are you doing? And midden? And Woodpops??

(sorry if I've forgotten anyone...) No one else here but me! MUST get on with my work but am just typing here to stop me going back to the washing machine - on top of it is a packet of cigs with one in it. Dh left it. I shook the packet, opened it and peered inside. Yep, one ciggie. Shut the packet and walked away and came here.

Zing! zing! go the gums...
Itch! itch! goes the skin...

OP posts:
charliecat · 16/09/2004 16:19

Gawd fiona, hope you resisted. i am failing failing failing.....I wont tell you how why and what but I am, I cant even be bothered fighting the not even very strong urge. I have one dog end up stairs ill keep it at that for the evening.
Stupid Stupid twat, that nicotine monsters got me by the balls it seems.

charliecat · 16/09/2004 19:02

By the way im starting tommorow with all of my tools, olis, bite that habit yucky tasting stuff etc and will blissfully even have 3 hours to myself while Tanyas at nursery and Tashas at school so I will use that time to redeem myself and get my head together.
Too busy to think about not smoking IYKWIM I know thats ridiculus but I havent had time to gather ones momentum for the big OMPH.
Hope everyone else is bearing up to the challenge, yous are doing fantastically!

charliecat · 16/09/2004 22:41

Your silence is deafning girls! But thats a good thing, I miss your company here and will be back in full A.C mode tommorow complete with Mallet.
Thinking of youxx

WideWebWitch · 16/09/2004 22:43

Hey CC, I didn't post as I didn't want you to think I was going on and on and on and on Hey, tomorrow is another day.

minkmama · 16/09/2004 23:52

GOOD LUCK tomorrow cc, you can do it you know you can and you've done it before! I'm happy that you sound less down today and more optimistic! Sorry i haven't been around, was out all day.

have had a good day today and am going to bed feeling pleased with myself and motivated which is something i haven't felt for a few weeks now. it's nice when your insides don't feel as dirty isn't it?!!

night night all, have a good morning!

charliecat · 17/09/2004 07:53

Guess who smoked a dog end found on the side in the kitchen??? Duh?? Just making thinks harder for myself/ When I get back later on I am going to either tidy the girls room and sit have some fun sitting on the net or if im not feeling strong im going to waste my me time watching Allen Carr again which will be my punishment for even thinking about tapping a fag from somewhere.
Glad to hear your feeling goooooddddd MM!
We missed the bus yesterday, which is the 8.55 bus and because the bus got stuck in traffic we bombed up the hill from hell and got to the school before it did. So although I have been smoking, the healing of a month did my lungs a power of good!