desperate fag quitter! Anyone similar, fancy mutual support group?!

[fionagib]

To my shame it's about my 167th attempt to quit fags... anyone out there trying the same who would like to start a support thingie here where we can rant and vent our frustrations and praise each other? I'm starting tomorrow...

Well since theres no more messages and im still awake im now going to send you todays chessington photo album! If i can find where abouts on the pc I put them!
My mum rang and I missed most of that programme but I did see the first 15 mins, my gawd what an awful awful disease. If hes got the shakes he can think normally, he just cant get his body to funtion properly because hes all rattly, if he takes the pills he can move normally but he cant think straight. OMG uncomprehendable. But after a HUGE operation, whilst awake, it seems he got better, as he said I cant believe that was just a phase in my life, it was too big to have just been a phase"
Brave dude.

hi we're back now. had a lovely meal, simply because i was able to eat it at a normal pace without someone crying or someone saying that they want me to take them out into the garden 'peeeeessss!' (meant to be 'please'

Sort of wanted a fag after as i had a beer as well, but then dh and i managed to fall into an argument about nothing around Asdas and suddenly needed a fag V.MUCH. passed the kiosk in a huff and didn't have one due to the fact that i wasn't going to let dh get me into that horrible cycle again. ahhh, feel much better now

must go downstairs and stick a lozenge in.

where's fiona?!!! where is everyone else?!!! have we frightened them off with our talk of noses CC?

Excuse silence girls, was running - bit chesty (not in massive bosoms, just kind of tight & wheezy) but enjoyed it, then into lunchbox packing, tidying up etc... not settling down to a bit of work and feeling really good.

Glad you had great day out cc - aren't you nice, tending to your dh's poor mangled feet!!

Haven't been to centreparcs mm, it does sound good I think, like the idea of sending the kids off into the forest on bikes, but I guess your boys are a bit too young for that!

I think it's v hard cc living around a smoker but you're doing brilliantly, rising above it. You're a star. The reason I don't do patches is they make me very scratchy-skinned & I always forget them.

Sorry to hear about your little lad's excema mm. My dd had it but has (aged 4) grown out of it now. Bleeding patches at backs of legs. We cut out citrus fruit, tomatoes, orange juice etc, not sure if that helped but it did go - I had it too but like her, grew out of it eventually. Get it occasionally on hands with stress...

actually the time I gave up fags & switched to cafe creme gigars, my hands bubbled up so badly with all the skin falling off that the doctor took a polaroid photo of them! Lovely.

Best get on, work to do... have a kiddie day & friends coming round day tomorrow so might not be able to check in till afternoon, when erin goes to nursery for a couple of hours...

night night! xxxx

not scared of your nose mm!
our posts crossed... was thinking how lovely it sounded, you having romantic meal with your dh, didn't know you'd been huffing round supermarket... I've been a bit crabby with dh this week - but then he's been crabby, and he's been smoking like a loon! I think he's trying to set himself on fire.

catch you tomorrow... xx

Was lovely having orgnaic never-smoked-in-her life friend over, she makes her own bread, ice cream (with soya) & tortilas for wraps (!) - could never be like that, don't even really aspire to be THAT healthy & organic, but it all sort of fascinates me. Instead of making me feel all polluted it's like some of her earthiness rubs off on me!

AM PUTTING OFF GETTING ON WITH WORK HERE!!

You now both have mail...cannot believe im still awake, it must be the swinging programme on 5 thats keeping me awake!!
So did you get through today ok then Fiona? You havent mentioned any jawclenching, hairpulling moments!
I have chewed a lot today, i brushed my teeth though and put the chewing gum down for half an hour, I do indeed have jaw ache...sigh...better than lung ache I guess!
Had to laugh at your dh trying to set himself on fire, we have the same here, like not even 5 minutes gone and theres another one on the go.
I did say one thing to DP that for 1 moment seemed to go in, and I was trying to remember a quote for you guys, but I still cant remember the first few words...but the end is "...the only alternative is to think how it would feel never being allowed to quit" and about 15 seconds later he looked at me, I dont know whether he was looking for a rubbing it in face(there was none) or what but I thought at the time that it had gone in and maybe that would start him on the road to even thinking about stopping.
He did stop once, with great ease, so easily I barely even noticed, for 3 months, he had a dodgy accident in his lorry and he had that ONE FAG and that was a good 2-3 years back now.
OH NO!!! Mega ramble again.
Im going to post you some horse blinkers for those kiosks Minkmama!!!!!!!!!!!
xx

Yes, those kiosks seem to be the devil's work for me. Maybe I should let dh do the week's shopping It's like they have neon lights or something and the dear ladies behind there are just waiting for my custom. The lady there tonight was watching me watching her because it was so late and i think she was bored. it almost felt like some kind game of chicken!! luckily i was the chicken in this scenario

am going to try to send those pics to you both now, hope it works!

you haven't mentioned snorting for a while now fg!!

Photos have been sent ladies!!!

going to bed now, so i'll speak to you tomorrow. Night night!

Morning...Got the photos Mink, what lovely babys you have!!! They are gorgeous! And how tidy is your house? Thats why my photos are all taken out side, the piles of dirty clothes and toys piled up to your ears ruins the pictures! And you are in one of the photos???? Who the pretty lady with the glasses on if its not you?!!
Like the Kiosks, a stray half smoked roll-up left in an ashtray has that "Go on" effect on me, it sort of glows and floats in front of my eyes...havent had to much of that thankfully, but its quite mad isnt it???
I realised, after eading Allen Carr that noone EVER makes polite conversation with you when your buying fags, im not sure why, but I do know if I worked behind a fag counter and did smoke it would scare me because as I was surrounded by fags and hacking smokers coming to buy them I wouldnt be able to block it from my mind(as you do) and if I was a non smoker I would be astounded at the amount of people that came and threw so much money at me day in day out to smell and kill themselves off slowly...well thats my theory anyway!
been sitting here for ages now and must go. Hows everyone today?

Morning CC. You make me blush I am an obsessive compulsive when it comes to tidying up the house, but as i've said before, the babies have made it hard to stay that way. My trick is to buy big boxes that don't resemble toyboxes and shove everything in there so that people think it's all spick and span (which it usually isn't) Actually, i find that dh is the worst offender for mess!! on his days off, he just leaves everything everywhere it's so frustrating!! Okay, will stop now, am sounding borderline loony

Haven't even had a chance to pop the cd in CC!!! Will endeavour to do that tonight if poss. also haven't even had a lozenge yet, how odd. will go and have one now. parents still here but no cravings for their fags, maybe because they've brought some Richmond menthol with them instead of the usual marlboro.

speak to you later!

I am the opposite, my front room resembles a bull dozed toyshop and its rare if you can see the carpet most days, usually cluttered with clothes/toys/junk mail. I do try but even when its done within and hour its starting to build up again...wish I could be obsessively tidy, instead i am a hoarding,mess making slob!

ha ha CC, blame it on the children i say! is fiona working hard then, no sign of her this morning!

i have to take DS1 to hospital soon, so will check in later on. he needs to see a paed about his eczema. i hope it'll be okay, they'll probably weigh him and tell me he's malnourished!!!

see you later and have a good day! hope there is someone out there on mnet to keep you company, they all seem to ahve disappeared!

mm your children are adorable, and what are you talking about - two babies in 2 years - think you look great. Not even knackered! And thank you so much for the oils - they smell fantastic. What a lovely gift for a strung our ex fagger. Let all my visitors today (had pile of people round) have a wee sniff. See one has black pepper in - yum!

Yes, the allure of the kiosks... what about the cost tho!! I was pretty much a 20 a day fagger and that day I bought some, I did think bloody hell! when I had to hand over a fiver.

My aim re tidy house is to be like mm but the scene you describe, cc, sounds more familiar... had 7 people round for lunch, just a big pasta, but they have gone now & erin's in nursery for 2 hours - utter devastation, but can't clear it up now cos have pile of work to do before school pick up, then take kids for haircuts...

have been obsessively cooking to take mind off fags. making a prawn & rice noodle things tonight. D'you find that food is the new fags? (know you often scoff bombay mix cc, trying to singe your throat!)

Cravings really not too bad - no mental moments. I feel eerily normal except for zero libido(!) - is this normal doctor? Tonight is our usual nice meal & loads of wine night (we pretend it's a night out... but in! How very tragic) and that is when the real danger point is - relaxing, getting a bit smashed, dh puffing away every 10 seconds... BUT WILL BE STRONG THIS WEEK GIRLS!! If I crack tonight I will send each of you a tenner!

better do some work... Catch you later xxx

just read your last post - good luck at the hospital minkmama xxx

Hello again folks, Hope ds1s appointment goes ok, is there anything they can do for eczema except for creams and lotions? Its a nasty nasty thing isnt it? Poor wee soulxx
Fiona, if you have a fag tonight I want you to wrap a tenner round the fag and burn it with it. Dont even think you will!
Its not just the money, or the smell, or the gungyness in our throats and chests, its the whole being controlled by something we didnt intend on being controlled by in the first place...the admission that we are not strong willed enough to fight it.
Well we bloody we are.
We all want to be free and we will be...got that?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you find yourself wanting one grab the wine bottle, suck the contents out of it and pass out promptly so you wont be consious to give in.
Does dh sit there in front of your nose puffing away? if he does, can you not a) ask him to vacate the table or b) nip off to the loo to brush your teeth and pretend its not getting to you?
getting booted off here, but yesish food is the new fag, crackers with dairylea and tomatoe is my latest mmmmmm must have item!
See you laterx

Sorry i have not been back since gatecrashing, but am soooooooooo stressed. I screamed at DH last night because ha hadn't done the washing up, then i cried for an hour. This is not the normal behaviour of a 33 year old woman! In desperation have bought some "Kalms" today - not the indigestion ones, a herbal stress reliever. I hope they work, otherwise i may be given a divorce for my birthday!
How can a weed affect you this much? I must not and will not give in..............

"You know how we all blame our irritability and bad mood on not smoking and reckon it would all be better with a fag? Well I've had a shitty day, big row with dh, tired due to a disturbed night and ds being a grump. Well I was still irritable even with the fags so will keep that in mind when I get to the end of Allan Carr. " Ive copyied and pasted that from earlier on in the thread, Posey said it, and shes still smoking, currently on way to her In-Laws with the Allen Carr book in her suitcase!
Sounds to me like your brain is trying to give you an excuse to have a fag....Dont!
It will just mean that whether it be today or in a month or a years time you will have to go back through what your going through now.
For some hardhitting reading try www.whyquit.com
Or come here and vent your anger/frustration/whatever of the day and we will all rally round and try and help you.xx

oh fee77, i'm always screaming at dh for not doing things (see my latest posts about being an obsessive/compulsive) whenever we argue, i think i MUST have a ciggie because i deserve it for feeling so stressed/angry/sad/p*ssed on but the truth is, a fag just doesn't solve any of it!! neither does it make me feel any better really - someone once told me that what was actually making me feel better was the time-out and deep breathing you do whilst you're having a fag. makes lots of sense to me. maybe cc has an ac quote that relates to this? don't let him push you over the edge

Ds1 is fine, they looked at his skin and asked us the usual stuff about diet etc. and since his creams and meds are working at the moment and we're happy with our dermatologist, we were discharged. paed was happy with his weight for his height. he's a whopping 22lbs . 12oz in little over 2 wks is v. good going for ds1.

fg - YOU CAN DO IT!! Try to lose that association with night-in and fags. it's like my morning coffee, v. hard but not impossible. oh and nights in are not sad at all!!! v. cosy and relaxed and stress-less really. enjoy the evening, it's really sweet that you guys make sure you do that regularly, so nice for your relationship! dh and i want to be able to do that one day when the kids are older Glad you like the oils. the little bottle smells a bit like it doesn't have any essential oil in it, but perhaps when you warm it up in your hands it'll smell better. it might just be the benzoin and black pepper, they're not v. floral are they?

might pop off to m & S for some dessert shopping now. dh has taken ds1, parents and sis to airport. they're flying off tonight. so i have a peaceful time alone with ds2 for a few hours. not that peaceful actually, he's screaming his lungs out right now!! got to go!

Bloody Hell am I that hooked up about A.C that im being asked to spring up specific quotes for a specific time.....OMG, I must be bad LMAO!!
At times like that I have thought, and paced up and down saying out loud..It Will Not Help, I AM Angry But A Fag WILL NOT HELP while breathing like a dragon and cursing the day i ever picked up the first poxy fag in the first place.
I have some Kalms up the stairs, i havent resorted to them this time, but I found making time for the newpaper and a coffee was just as beneficial...some away from the kids in peace time.
Glad the appointment was ok, how do you stop him from ripping himself to pieces?
Must get off this pc, have been boinging back to it like a yo-yo all day!

Still boinging...had a VERY long day today I feel like it should be midnight but the kids arent even in bed yet! Feeling rather tingled by nicotine, that all over not an itch but a something that means you cant help but notice that your not smoking...Do you know what I mean or is it just me?
Dp is building a gerbil run type thing so I can put them in there when I am changing them out, Havent had them on the floor since the other one had a nasty end....kids are playing with next door neighbour and I am rattling round my messy house with no motivation to tidy up at all.
Going to hit the vodka tonight as its Friday and watch a dvd....in fact I may go and tidy the kitchen as theres nothing worse than being half cut and realising your going to wake up the next morning and your house is a bombsite.
Hmmmmmmmmmm, not so cheery tonight im not.

mm, was started to feel a bit antsy and slathered the mood swings oil all over my arms and feel so so much better, keep giving my skin a good sniff! How does aromatherapy work? It definietly does, but I can't understand it. It's not like I had a lovely massage... I just rubbed it in myself!

cc, maybe you're just a bit knackered from your day out yesterday, take care of yourself, have a nice relaxing eve - am sure vodka & losing yourself in a film will help... also don;t know about you but I often feel fagged out at end of week. Knackered I mean.

and fee77 that is so natural to growl and shout about domestic things, have even smashed things in the sink before, while doing dishes in a very angry I DO ALL THE RUDDY DISHES fashion. dh once thought I'd really lost it when I started singing, very loudly & to tune of I love the sound of breaking glass:

'I love the bloody ashing up...
every bloody daaaaay...
ooh, all around,
the bloody washing up.
Always there, the bloody washing up.'

Wonder he didn't 'revorce' (as my ds calls it) me.

Are you off the cigs Fee? Sorry if I've missed a post... how long? It will get easier - cc's words are right, and I love that phrase - 'fight it' - cos we all know that at certian times we have to be pretty strong and make a conscious decision not to crumble...

also mm you're so right about those ciggie associations. will fight them!

working for next 2 hours, boys lashed to playstation, check in later - have a nice friday eve, all xxx

cc I don't think you ever did tell us what you did to the gerbil???? Can I use your anecdote (anonymously of course) in this book I'm just finishing, as there is a section on why children should never be allowed to have pets?!

heres what happened to mr gerby, dont even want to think about it so just sending you the link...
Have charliecat as your title if you like what are you thinking of putting in what book?
BTW totally enjoying your book, reading it last thing at night and first thing in the morning, savouring everyword as usually i read books but just sort of skim throught them and cant remember a thing about them the minute I put them down, enjoy them, but dont savour them IYKWIM
Have lots of questions too, but I have laughed more at your book than any other I have read...and one of the questions was Am I meant to be? as if i was you (the author) i would have been rolling round the floor killing myself laughing at my amazing skill of i dunno what it is, putting a funny moment in a jar and managing to put it down on paper I guess....ramble ramble...but did you laugh writing it? I think its great!

I think i am meaning do you realise how utterly true to life and hilarious some of the folks moments are...I had a dress moment, long pullover skintightish dress, breastfeeding, summer.....just didnt think, ended up in my mums car with it rolled up to my neck with all sorts of crap wrapped round me and Tanya....just things like that ...Brilliant!