Is anyone out there a heavy drinker/active alcoholic/recovering alcoholic?

[BrassicMonkey]

Ok, so I've name changed and it's taken balls to post this.

I think I might be an alcoholic or at least drifting into that domain.

I know my posting style is pretty easy to spot, at least by those that I chat to on MSN, but I don't want to be outed on here and I don't want to chat about it on MSN either.

OK, so now I've said that (quite bluntly possibly, sorry )...

I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to stay off the booze. It was bad enough last year, but I started this year with plans, and they've all been pissed away. I'm drunk/hungover more often than not. I'm suffering, the DC are suffering.

I want to stop. I don't like the idea of getting help but I'll do it if I have to.

Last time I had a drink was saturday. I'd promised myself that I'd have at least a 2 week break - tonight, I'm back on it again.

I want to have a go at stopping on my own before I go to AA or to my GP. Do I cut down gradually or just stop?

I'm probably going to be away for about an hour but any replies will be appreciated.

I come from a family of alcoholics and what scares me the most is that I'll never be able to have a sociable drink again without taking it to ridiculous levels. I'm scared of what's happening to my life and to my health but I'm more scared of being a miserable old cow that can't relax because I can't have a drink.

As I said, any responses would perk me up tonight.

TIA

This is a fascinating (and thankfully very friendly) thread.

@Brassic
Well done on going down to 250ml. I am so looking forward to hearing about your first alcohol free day. You are doing so well, you can really be proud of yourself.

How is your ex-p reacting? He seems to be very supportive, you are very lucky there.

Gosh Xenia - I just read that article about that poor woman MP - what a vicious attack she endured over such a sustained time- I think that would have done for me too. Her poor boys.

BM, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are a star.

You're so calm and you're doing so incredibly well I can't believe it. You're obviously doing this at precisely the right moment for you.

So ... is Wednesday the planned end date or a week on Wednesday?

well done BM - you are doing so well. Hope your weekend has gone well.

Sorry to hear about your sister.

Like Xenia, I don't know what is in people's make up that some manage to quit these addictions and some don't. My mother never will and it does sadden me on days to realise that - Brassic, I feel terribly sorry for your sister because it's such an awful place to find yourself. Having to go to those horrid rehab places but still not managing to get rid of your demons. I wish I could give her all the love and strength in the world to get her out of the place she is in but unfortunately, like you are discovering, it all has to come from within. I really do admire your strength even just to get to where you are now.

Hi everyone..just wanted to tell you all that your a fab bunch of people . Been following this thread since it started but never had courage to post. The support here is magnificent and I wish you BM all the best in your fight.... you are doing a great job ..and look forward to celebrating with you on banishing the jug!!...the support you are getting here from all MN is really lovely....feel I know you all and never ever ever spoken to any of you before..a lovely friendly supportive bunch...

JSo, BM is worth it. She's doing so well and she's being so honest.

IMF..think that is why I have been watching this thread ..I so admire BM's honesty and know she has the courage to succeed her fight with the demon..roll on Weds

Sorry losty that was a bit ambiguous, I was talking specifically help for your drinking...AA are always there and it's free. I know the NHS services are woefully inadequate when it comes to mental health provision.

Incidentally, I my good friend is a consultant psychiatrist, and also a member of AA. She's just recently had to go into early retirement which she's devastated about. I find it amazing than she saw patients with addictions every day, could advise them how to deal with it, but couldn't apply it to herself.

I know that in eating disorder clinics, the statistics for recovery aren't great. I was told that the mortality rate for someone with say, bulimia and alcoholism, was around 50%. It's frightening, and it's more prevalent than people think.

I do agree with the genetic element - as I've already said - but upbringing plays an important role too.

Brassic, come on girl - we're all routing for you! Yay! Is that the right word/spelling even?!

Losty: I hope you are ok. I'm going to try and contact you via mutual friend J next week.

On a slightly different note; I'm still not totally convinced that genetics and or upbringing plays a major role in all addictive behaviour.

Morning BrassicMonkey, I hope you have a pleasant and hangover free day, will be thinking of you.

x

kokeshi, I think lots of places are woefully inadequate in dealing with addictions.

I saw a pyschiatrist for two years (he's just said he doesn't want to see me any more) but really all I did was visit him. He asked how much I'd drunk. I told him.

I don't want to stop seeing him because it keeps me in check, and I like him, but really, as I'm sure you know, it's down to how much you want to give up.

And, I'm speaking from someone who did have a fit when I went cold turkey, and had to relinquish my driving licence as a result.

Phew. Now I've said it. Have been wanting to for a while. I think you're all fab.

True, I should have said AA is free and available and helps loads of people. I don't think addictions are easy things to treat. The regular commitment of an AA, Narcotics A, etc group seems to help a lot of people. I don't know why some people manage to give up alcohol and others don't. There must be some key to that. People like George Best and that Labour MP that I mentioned below they didn't manage and yet my mother in her 50s could take a decision not to drink again and stick to it.

I suppose trying to look at the underlying problem or issue may help that leads to the addiction, removing yourself from people who encourage it, changing your routine or lifestyle so it's not centred on pubs and clubs and there is no alcohol in the house, good food and exercise. May be some people find hypnosis works. No easy answers I suppose.

Morning, hope last night went well for you!

Re the multiple addictions, I, thankfully and luckily, don't have any issues with food. Friends of mine who do have put down their primary addiction first (cocaine, alcohol, those sorts of things) and then focussed on the food which seems to be much harder. And they've said that dealing with food issues is impossible for them when they're using.

Being sober really helps me deal with all the other stuff - therapy wouldn't be nearly as helpful for me if I were drinking. Well, therapy wasn't helpful for me when I was drinking I should say!

Anyway, when the chips are down and I feel awful, I just focus on making it through the day and not drinking. At those times, success is simply not having a drink and I do what it takes not to pick up. Tackling my demons is necessary for me to stay sober though. AA, therapy and friends who are also recovering are helping with that.

And please pick and choose what you do - what works for me might not work for you. As they say, it helps to look for the similarities and not focus on the differences.

BM you are doing fantastically well and very inspiring. Am going to try not to drink tonight and will keep thinking of you as I try to ward off the cravings.

Xenia, I would also like to say that you do get a bad deal on MN sometimes when you are only talking of how you personally feel. I actually enjoy your posts!

Hey BM (and all posters)

This strand is what Mumsnet is all about!

Reading the posts on genetic predisposition to alcohol addiction made me think about my father's drink problems (which were severe)in relation to my own, which are moderate but coming under control. I hope and pray.

I found this on the internet and thought you might be interested. www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=54650

What I think this is saying, is that fruit flies are similar to humans (that's whacky to start with) and also that in fruit flies, an exposure to alcohol can modify genes to create an increased tolerance for alcohol. It sort of goes some way to explaining why in non-drinking cultures, people get drunk more quickly.

Wishing you all a happy, sunfilled but alcohol-free day

Brassic...how are you feeling today? It's beautiful up here on the West of Scotland, hope you're enjoying the weather wherever you are!

earlygrey...that must have too courage to post that, do you feel lighter?

Xenia, the last part of your post was pretty much verbatim what newcomers to AA are advised to do. There has to be a complete overhaul of their lifestyle. It's also said we must undergo a "psychic change" - not in the paranormal sense - to overcome the addiction. How that happens exactly is a mystery.

ParticularlyGrey, fantastic post, absolutely bang on.

Flowertop, good luck for tonight...keep us posted!

Quattro...I'm glad that thread was deleted, I have never reported a thread before but I felt the need to do that yesterday. I'm glad. Can I just suggest that you don't try and justify yourself any further on the other thread spin-off today. I've seen people being recruited from other threads to come on to that freedom of speech thread and it looks like the same thing's going to happen. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Kokeshi - that's such good advice - I could see the pack reforming with horror (and dread). Am of course going to take your advice immediately and thank YOU so much for your support.

Brassic, you're quiet lovey, you okay?

i've only skimmed this thread but i know i'm drinking too much(1/2 to 1 bottle of wine a night),but I try to reassure myself it's ok as i take regular exercise and generally eat healtily. maybe I'm kidding myself?!

Hello everyone

I?ve only scanned today?s posts so far as I wanted to just post quickly to say that I?m still on track. I haven?t been able to get on here all day, so I?ve been sleeping. So, 150mls tonight. Quattro, glad to see you?re still posting

Will read properly now.

well done BM that is fantasisitc

150mls BM? Wow! That's like 4 units or something? Amazing ...

Q, which thread got deleted, the one I was referring to is still there, ended on a horrible post about your partner . I didn't even bother to look at the other one, wherever it is, it's just not worth it. If those bullies have nobody to argue with they'll soon just disappear I'm sure.