Is anyone out there a heavy drinker/active alcoholic/recovering alcoholic?

[BrassicMonkey]

Ok, so I've name changed and it's taken balls to post this.

I think I might be an alcoholic or at least drifting into that domain.

I know my posting style is pretty easy to spot, at least by those that I chat to on MSN, but I don't want to be outed on here and I don't want to chat about it on MSN either.

OK, so now I've said that (quite bluntly possibly, sorry )...

I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to stay off the booze. It was bad enough last year, but I started this year with plans, and they've all been pissed away. I'm drunk/hungover more often than not. I'm suffering, the DC are suffering.

I want to stop. I don't like the idea of getting help but I'll do it if I have to.

Last time I had a drink was saturday. I'd promised myself that I'd have at least a 2 week break - tonight, I'm back on it again.

I want to have a go at stopping on my own before I go to AA or to my GP. Do I cut down gradually or just stop?

I'm probably going to be away for about an hour but any replies will be appreciated.

I come from a family of alcoholics and what scares me the most is that I'll never be able to have a sociable drink again without taking it to ridiculous levels. I'm scared of what's happening to my life and to my health but I'm more scared of being a miserable old cow that can't relax because I can't have a drink.

As I said, any responses would perk me up tonight.

TIA

Brassic just think, if you continue to cut down by 50ml a night you could be binning that bloody jug in less than a week

Morning.

BM, Sorry to hear about your sister, have you heard from her yet? I think you are doing extremely well, did you bin the jug last night? Hope you slept well.

Kokeshi, that C.a.g.e is very good I scored 2 so I guess I need to do something about it.

Losty, I totally sympathise with your situation, I was prescribed Citalopram a few months back, but after reading the side effects I have been too scared to take them. I also feel that if I stop drinking I won't need the meds as 'obviously' the alcohol is fuelling my depression , sorry you had a bad night last night, Me too, and true to form I'm now sat here with a headache

I?ve just read my post back from last night and feel silly about it now. The cravings are real but not strong enough to encourage me to lapse. I?ve had a lovely sleep and no withdrawal symptoms at all today. DS and EX-P are enjoying the FA cup and it feels like a normal Saturday afternoon.

I haven?t heard anything about my sister, but that doesn?t mean that she hasn?t made contact. I only speak to my mum once a week or so and I don?t think she?d call me if she heard anything so she could be back at her house or at the rehab centre. Thanks for asking though.

Losty, sorry you?re having such a hard time of it.

Argh ? the measuring jug will be binned with any remaining vodka, hopefully next Thursday after I?ve had my last 50ml allowance. Not long to go now. How are you and DH doing with cutting down/abstaining?

Just worked it out properly and the abstinence ceremony will be on Wednesday not Thursday

that is fantastic BM, well done you. losty x

ps miss you

You're doing amazingly well, BM, am so glad you got a deservedly normal-feeling day today.

Next Wednesday, wow! Is that when you are supposed to re-contact the centre, when you've stopped drinking altogether? Or is it a weekly thing? I'm sure you said earlier in thread, sorry - loss of memory these days is due to baby and sleep deprivation, nothing more sinister, but its pretty extreme nonetheless

I hope you get news of your sister soon, but focussing on your own recovery right now feels so important. Good luck tonight, xx

@BM
Well done! I am still following your progress and am so pleased that you are doing so well.

This is a brilliant thread.

I had a bit of a wake-up call this morning as I was reading here about high blood pressure. I had a smear yesterday and my BP was high. The nurse said it was probably white coat syndrome. Reading the blood pressure thread though, it seems that the only thing in my life that would put my blood pressure up is my drinking.

I feel such a fool. I might have permanently damaged myself.

Sorry to hear about your worries WakeUpCall

do you feel you are drinking more than you are comfortable with?

Brassic I can hardly believe the poise and confidence in your posts. If someone had told you on the day you started this thread, that you could be completely sober and free of alcohol in just over 3 weeks. would you have believed it?

bm

well done

bk xxx

You're a star BM!

BM is a complete inspiration. She has been so open and vulnerable here but has pushed on regardless.

My problem revolves around white wine and I average about 3/4 of a bottle nearly every night. This consumption has crept up over the last year.

This thread and the Blood Pressure one has helped me have an honest conversation with my dh today and I really feel that I can make a positive change.

I just feel stupid. The poster who described the urge to drink as a pull in her tummy and a bit like feeling love-sick is spot-on. I had no idea anyone else felt the same as me.

Oh WakeUpCall I am glad you could speak honestly to dh

Hi BM

Just dropped by to wish you all the very best and to see how you were doing.

Q - you're getting quite a bashing on that other thread aren't you? Are you coping ok?

Thanks IF. I am actually crying right now. I am so upset. People have repeatedly said that I am lying about my job. Then they said I was a bloke when I proved that I knew my field. Then they accused me of lying about my husband. I have been utterly and completely bullied and I think this place is awful/

Sorry - venting - just showed up to check on BM and to get away from some of the most unpleasant people I have ever met.

Quattro - I've come out of lurking to give you a virtual tissue (sorry, I know that's crap). I don't know what thread you're referring to but God, I'm really sorry that whatever it is has upset you like that.

Hope you're asleep now and that you don't give it a second thought in the morning. xx

Thank you darling BM. Sleep tight too. Hope you are keeping well.

I am thank you quattro. Off to bed now as well.

Quattrocento, so sorry you did get a bashing today I noticed, but the thread soon ended. Please, don't get upset...

[hug and tissue] x

Thank you, thank you for just being kind and human.

somtimes it can be a hard place and we are not all hard, even the hard ones crumble sometimes.

I have found joining and leaving a thread at the right time, is an art in itself, its abit like catching a wave (if i was ever cool enough to be a real life surfer)..good night.

Hi BrassicMonkey, sorry for neglecting the thread today, I have been thinking about you but have been out all day. Great idea about having a ceremonial jug disposal, I'm really really happy for you - what an achievement.

How are you feeling at the moment?

Quattrocento, I just read that thread and you were being treated horrendously. You've retained your dignity throughout and please don't feel that's all Mumsnet has to offer. I thought they were being really cruel and you handled it really well.

I hope everyone else is OK, and the others who have joined, a big welcome to you all.

Thank you Kokeshi - still crying - pathetic really - but you are kind and I do so appreciate it.