Is anyone out there a heavy drinker/active alcoholic/recovering alcoholic?

[BrassicMonkey]

Ok, so I've name changed and it's taken balls to post this.

I think I might be an alcoholic or at least drifting into that domain.

I know my posting style is pretty easy to spot, at least by those that I chat to on MSN, but I don't want to be outed on here and I don't want to chat about it on MSN either.

OK, so now I've said that (quite bluntly possibly, sorry )...

I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to stay off the booze. It was bad enough last year, but I started this year with plans, and they've all been pissed away. I'm drunk/hungover more often than not. I'm suffering, the DC are suffering.

I want to stop. I don't like the idea of getting help but I'll do it if I have to.

Last time I had a drink was saturday. I'd promised myself that I'd have at least a 2 week break - tonight, I'm back on it again.

I want to have a go at stopping on my own before I go to AA or to my GP. Do I cut down gradually or just stop?

I'm probably going to be away for about an hour but any replies will be appreciated.

I come from a family of alcoholics and what scares me the most is that I'll never be able to have a sociable drink again without taking it to ridiculous levels. I'm scared of what's happening to my life and to my health but I'm more scared of being a miserable old cow that can't relax because I can't have a drink.

As I said, any responses would perk me up tonight.

TIA

Good plan to go once you're sorted Brassic, but I think you'd know if you were that ill.

I've had a great day, although when the scientist switched on my implant he looked competely bemused - I howled with laughter as he spoke to me.

He sounded like a chipmunk (remember Alvin, Simon Theodore), then my mum spoke and my partner and they sounded the same. He did say he had never had that reaction before, but it was, erm, great, that I was laughing.

Fantastic but...weird. This keyboard is doing my fecking head in, all the tap tap tapping!

Hope you sleep well, lots of love to you.

oooh, I'll go and look, how rude! I came straight to this thread. Thanks thedogsbollox (cool name)

Losty - I'm really sorry you're feeling low tonight. Try and get some sleep, you must be knackered.

Dogs - hijacking is welcome here.

Kokeshi - fantastic! and hilarious! I'm really pleased.

Good night and thanks for the continued support and information.

I hope you get some much needed sleep BM!

Does it feel good to be able to post on MN all evening without worrying what you've said or who you might have offended

You should be very proud of yourself for what you have achieved this week so far

As you are a self outed googler why dont you try this site

Higher education and mostly free

www3.open.ac.uk/courses/about/p6_1.shtml

apologies if you already have a vocation

Yes it does feel good Dogs. I've been looking round on the other threads today - haven't done that for ages - and have been tempted to post but I want to be completely sober and completely in control. I can fuck up royally with regards to getting a feel for the mood of a thread, and I've often posted angrily to something that was lighthearted (and everyone else got the joke). I'm still isolating myself a bit because the embarrassment makes me feel down the next day and I don't need it at the moment. I think if I show myself up on here people will understand that I don't mean it (not that attacking people is excusable though).

Today has been the best day, symptom wise, for ages. I did both the school runs and cooked dinner and I'm still sober at almost 11.30. It's getting better, but I think the really hard bit is still to come.

I really am going to switch off now. I've got 1 last drink and I'm feeling chatty. Even though I've reduced loads I know that I'm not totally in control yet and I'm still afraid of making an arse of myself.

I'll have a look - thanks open.

Really going now though.

ditto MrBatters message
take care X

wow, well done BM!

I agree with kokeshi - the Liver Function Test is the first line test that they'll do on the liver. It's also done for innocuous reasons - I had it done in the last year or so for feeling nauseous.

If you are looking at vitamins, from memory, zinc and magnesium (this may help with the cramps) are often given in addition to the B vitamins - but also, what's important, is that you're taking care with your diet and trying to eat regularly and healthily.

Morning BM

I also had LFT done after stopping drinking and I think it is far better to know where you stand rather than live in dread. However mine came back normal so I guess I would say that

Are you still planning to cut down rapidly this week? How do you feel physically and mentally this morning?

You could probably get a LFT done at GP, BM, if you went in saying you were feeling tired and nauseous in the mornings. It's a very routine test and it would probably set your mind at rest.

You're doing so well, I'm very very impressed!

Hope you don't mind me joining this thread, BM I think what you are doing is fantastic and I'm jealous that you are doing so well! I have tried to give up/cut down, so many times it's unbelievable. I now haven't had a drink for TWO whole days that may sound pathetic but for me it's a biggy. worried about tonight tho' being a Friday.

I read further down the thread (not sure who posted it) that going cold turkey is very dangerous, I could really do with some advice as to how to cut down then, because with me I can't just have one or two drinks, there is no happy medium

Not trying to steal your thread BM, I have so much respect for you.

Last night was a success and I feel proud of myself for the first time in ages. I poured 290mls and drank that, then opened a new litre bottle and measured out 60mls ? so 350 in total. Being able to pour twice gives me a psychological kick as my willpower is lower on the second pour so I?m proving that I?m still in control. It took me ages to drain my last glass as I was frightened that I?d feel lonely without it. I was still sitting here at 2am.

Then I went to bed and slept so well that I woke up late this morning. So, mad panic to get to school on time. The headache is quite bad this morning but the shakes are mild. I?m going to have chocolate spread on toast and then walk to the chemist and browse the vitamin section.

Thanks for all the info on LFTs. I will go and speak to my GP about it once I?m completely off as there?s a good chance it will be fine, but it would be better to know if it?s not fine. I think I?ll be honest about the drinking though.

Argh ? Please join in the thread. There is so much good advice on here already and I don?t want to be greedy with it. Finding out about the dangers of cold turkey was a surprise to me too, but a good one because it hadn?t occurred to me to withdraw gradually before and cold turkey and making promises to never drink again just didn?t work anyway. I went to a substance abuse clinic for advice and was told that I could cut down by half if I really wanted to, but it would probably be unmanageable. The specific advice given to me was to reduce by 100mls weekly starting with 500mls. I found that unmanageable too so started at 600mls, but I?ve been reducing in bigger increments. So, I?m breaking the rules a bit but that?s a risk I?m prepared to take as I just want it over with now. I?d urge you to get professional help with this rather than go it alone though, as it might depend on what you drink, specific health issues, how long you?ve been drinking, how much etc.

Hope that helps a bit and please carry on posting.

Oh BM I haven't manged to catch up with your thread for a while, but reading through now I can see you are doing really well. You have done such a great job! you have my upmost admiration

Sorry Franny - yes, I hope I can stick to a 50ml reduction each night. If it's too hard then I'll re-think but I'm sick of it now. The small amount of alcohol I'm getting doesn't seem worth dragging on the withdrawal symptoms for. If they get really bad or change I'll contact the clinic to make sure it's safe though.

Thank you ludaloo

Reading through, I remember my mother bruised very easily. She also had slightly yellow whites of her eyes. It has also just occured that maybe she actually had tried to stop drinking. She was always very shaky, but she also got very swollen. Her face, neck and ankles would swell quite considerably. I wonder if this was something to do with her trying to stop.

Thanks BM I was wondering whether changing what I drink may help! my big demon is wine and dh and I will easily get through 3-4 bottles a night (he does drink the 'slightly' larger portion tho'), but when I drink cider I only drink a couple of cans 'cos then I'm bloated and don't want anymore. so the will power will be in not sneaking out for a couple of bottles of wine when I'm sick of cider, but the body will still be getting some alcohol
I think you are showing amazing restraint in cutting down, I admit I haven't tried cutting down, I have always gone cold turkey! and the most I have ever done is about a week. I don't really get shakes but I just get a yearning in my middle (bit like being in love Lol) but I guess everyones symptoms are different, I also get terrible headaches and a really achy back (kidney area )

You are doing SO well, BM. I have been to AA once, but for me it was like going through my eating disorder all over again. I had no idea that alcohol could be so bloody awful. I expect some of you know that my relationship with booze isn't great and today I have a hangover. I'm really tired too. You are doing really well and this is a fascinating thread. How's life with your ears back, Kokeshi?

Hi BM, well done and good luck for today. My gut feeling is that you're right, it's just miserable to prolong this and it seems you're resolve is strengthening daily. I'm really proud of you.

Aargh, that is a hell of a lot of wine. How long have you been drinking like that? Can I say if you've done 2 days off it already, you should be out of the danger zone (for the worst of the complications) but it's not pleasant to withdraw so quickly, as I'm sure you're finding.

It also takes a lot more effort to stop when you have a partner who is also a problem drinker. It just facilitates it really, my late husband was an alcoholic and we just encouraged each other. Has your DP expressed any desire to deal with it?

I don't think it will help you at all to change drinks, you are going after the feeling that alcohol gives you presumably and with 3 or 4 bottles of wine you will definitely be physically dependent.

If you can't give up for more than a week on your own, AA will be a great help to you. If you read the whole thread, I've posted quite a lot about it but feel free to ask any questions.

I think a trip to your GP wouldn't hurt either, for all the reasons we've talked about.

I wish you well.

hellobello, it's weird! Everything is sooo noisy and the sounds with the implant aren't instantly recognisable. I'm having a good laugh when people speak, everyone sounds like they've inhaled helium.

I've posted on the other thread but it's gone a bit quiet. Hopefully everyone's doing OK.

take care x

You are doing so well, BrassicMonkey - really impressed by the way you opened that second bottle and took out only the amount you had pre-determined. That's a strong decision and I'm sure is a wonderful indicator that you will succeed in this.

Good luck for today!

Thank you Kokeshi, I will follow your advice re: visiting the doctors. we have been drinking like that for a few years dh does say he wants to give up but at the end of the day is as weak as me. He visited the doc about a year ago for a lft and it came back normal which really surprised us both, and his doc said he didn't sound like an alcoholic just a heavy drinker think he might be a bit of an idiot.

I will read through this thread again more carefully, Thank You

Have to go now, but best I wish you well and I'll pop back later. x