Is anyone out there a heavy drinker/active alcoholic/recovering alcoholic?

[BrassicMonkey]

Ok, so I've name changed and it's taken balls to post this.

I think I might be an alcoholic or at least drifting into that domain.

I know my posting style is pretty easy to spot, at least by those that I chat to on MSN, but I don't want to be outed on here and I don't want to chat about it on MSN either.

OK, so now I've said that (quite bluntly possibly, sorry )...

I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to stay off the booze. It was bad enough last year, but I started this year with plans, and they've all been pissed away. I'm drunk/hungover more often than not. I'm suffering, the DC are suffering.

I want to stop. I don't like the idea of getting help but I'll do it if I have to.

Last time I had a drink was saturday. I'd promised myself that I'd have at least a 2 week break - tonight, I'm back on it again.

I want to have a go at stopping on my own before I go to AA or to my GP. Do I cut down gradually or just stop?

I'm probably going to be away for about an hour but any replies will be appreciated.

I come from a family of alcoholics and what scares me the most is that I'll never be able to have a sociable drink again without taking it to ridiculous levels. I'm scared of what's happening to my life and to my health but I'm more scared of being a miserable old cow that can't relax because I can't have a drink.

As I said, any responses would perk me up tonight.

TIA

Nowine it can be dangerous to stop drinking cold turkey I applaud you for wanting to stop but people don't always recognise the health risks of stopping cold without cutting down gradually or having a medical detox. Do you think you could ring NHS direct for advice? Or an alcohol helpline? I am concerned about your immediate health

Could you phone these people Nowine?:

Drinkline

I haven't exactly left the thread - I am still following it - but if I'm not posting it's because I can't really offer any advice tbh rather than it being too close to the bone.

As I said yesterday, I genuinely do not know one single person in RL in a similar situation.

God I know blinking tons of people with alcohol problems As soon as I stopped drinking I found it was blindingly obvious that there are a LOT of people out there with a screwed up attitude to drink

Mercy, sorry, I meant to add, I hope you get yourself in the place you want to be with regards to drinking

Thanks Franny. I am getting there, albeit slowly.

This thread has been a wake up call tbh. I've been thinking about it pretty much non-stop all day. Some of the experiences posters have shared on this thread have scared me (and shocked me if I'm honest) and I really appreciate the straight talking actually.

Someone said, was it Flowertop, that in terms of quantity my drinking is nowhere near the levels of some others. But that's not the point is it? The why is as important as the how much.

Nowine, I think if you have done 48 hours without drink you will be out of the most dangerous period. The doctor told me that those first 24-48 hours are the worst. If you are dependent on alcohol you may experience withdrawal symptoms several hours after your last drink. Withdrawal symptoms include:

• Nausea
• Tremors
• Sweats
• Craving for alcohol
• Anxiety

Convulsions (fits) may occur in a small number of cases. As a result of this you drink alcohol regularly and ?depend? on it to prevent these symptoms. But, please check with a medical professional.

Well done for wanting a new start. There are lots of experiences on here that people have shared, how they've gone about tackling their drink problems. It's not one size fits all though!

How are you BrassicMonkey?

I forgot to mention before that my GP prescribed Vitamin B strong complex. B vitamins (especially B1) are vital to help restore and repair the damage alcohol may have caused to your brain and nervous system.

I think a thread like this is a wonderful testament to the value of MN and the great people posting. BM - I send you my very best wishes for your recovery. My dad was an alcoholic and ruined his health and my childhood, I in turn took years to recover from an eating disorder.
It takes great courage to face up to an addiction and deal with it.

Thanks for all the support again. I'm feeling better now than I have for a while and am only just having my first drink. I've got 450mls tonight and there is no more in the bottle so it will have to last.

I didn't make the school run. Washing my hair was harder than I thought it would be (haven't done it properly for a while) and I felt like I needed a drink to calm down before I started drying it. Obviously I won't do the school run with a drink inside me so I sat here trying to work out what to do until it was too late. I have sort of redeemed myself though as we all went to the park and then to McDonalds and we've only just got in. DS and ex-p are in the garden playing football and I feel like I've got some peace because I've given him 4 hours of mum/dad time and he hasn't had that for ages, long before we split up as for a while ex-p and I were barely talking. I know I've got a long way to go but it feels better at the moment.

I don't know whether AA will be right for me as I do want to continue to reduce gradually rather than do a medical detox. Kokeshi, or anyone else, do you know if they will support me through that? Hearing someone else's voice today was so comforting and talking about the shame and the guilt and hearing someone else's experience felt almost spiritual. Like the feeling I get when I walk in a church and I want to cry, just because it's a church.

Sobernow - I'm glad you're back and I'm sorry that I seemed to be having a go at you last night. I was desperate to talk and I felt like shit that I was upsetting people and making them feel uncomfortable and I was defensive.

I am not going to break my rule of stopping posting when I'm drinking tonight. I'm just adding to the guilt.

Mercy, I don't know how much you drink but I wish I'd have faced up to this when I first knew it was a problem.

Brassic another fab post. And clean hair! Not to be underestimated in my book

BM - sounds like you have had a great time this afternnon with ds - you sound much brighter than earlier in the day.

Will no doubt post more later.

Best Wishes

I've just discovered the site and this thread has had me absoluted riveted. I knew I wasn't the only one!

I've been sober for nearly a year now - it was the best thing I've ever done. Not having to deal with the hangovers and never being sober and all that is fantastic, but the best part - the part I never thought would ever happen - is that the obsession with alcohol is gone. It's amazing to me how much more time and brainspace I have now that I'm not thinking of my next drink or my last episode or any of that. I still have cravings and bad days, but AA helps a lot and I have made friends who are recovering alcoholics who are at the end of the phone when I need someone and also have one to one therapy.

I got sober in a rehab clinic - the standard 28 days. Was given librium and massives of vitamins for a week (the vitamins for longer maybe) and detoxing wasn't too bad for me. I had what they call the "gift of desperation" and was thrilled to no longer be drinking. Being newly sober was difficult and I needed a lot of support and found that even though my dh and mum were extremely supportive and wanted to help, I needed to talk with other people who had gone through or were going through the same thing. Realizing I wasn't alone in the madness and that other people understood was such a relief. It's still necessary for me, actually.

This is all just so you know what worked for me - everyone's different. Good luck with recovery and hang in there, it's worth it.

Brassic to get down to 450 mls is very very good - that is control - you just need to remember that control is going to be a daily struggle. I too can't go to AA as I dont want to give up drinking, I have had 12 years of dealing with this. What you dont realise is that if you feel like shit the next day another drink is not the solution. My old man says that - the hair of the dog, but I don't do that as eating proper meals ( or even fish and chips) and drinkin lots of tea with sugar stops the shakes and the headaches as you are feeding your body. I never drink the next day. This sort of works for me. If you want to be able to drink you are going to have to be on a units diet for the rest of your life. Yes you will fail regulary but then you are not required to be perfect just dont drink every day, never drink two days in a row. Its amazing how mush less you drink if you have that rule. Allow yourself to get better between hangovers, comlpetely. Sorry I know the total abstainers will hate me for this but I run three pubs and meet a lot of drinkers!

And stop drinking all that coke - all the caffeine will distub your sleep if you are cutting down. Try a night on vod and orange juice or lemonade not coke as that is really not helping at all - the caffeine is keeping you awake to drink longer.

( will someo4en tell me why she cant post whne drinking?)

(she doesn't like posting when she has been drinking because she wants to feel in control of her posts.)

Hallo BrassicMonkey,
I have been reading (lurking) this post since your OP and I have been impressed by 2 things.

1. The fabulous support and encouragement that you have received here on MN.
2. How brave you are. You have realised that you have a problem and are doing your best to deal with it.

I have no personal experience of alcoholism, but following your progress as you battle with your addiction is truly humbling and inspiring. I hope that you realise that.

Best wishes for your continuing recovery.

She thinks she will be rude or mabe she spills it on the keyboard

Sorry to be light hearted but drinkers are ususally amusing and good fun and I think Brassic can get back there - I am a landlady so I know- its the excess that the probem and its not surpising that brassic with her marraige breakup and coping with her family has tipped over the edge - we can all do it. (I do.) I just prefer to drink too much but I dont drink to get over the hangover I live withthe hangover and then I have a day or two clean then I get a buit too pissed again and on it goes. I can go out and have two or three as a result.

does anyone have or know of anyone who has experience of the Alen Carr giving up alcohol course? Is it soemthing worth looking into? the website promises all sorts of wonderful things and I know the stop smoking course is fantastic.

BM I have been following your thread and I think you sound like a very brave person. I have been affected albeit distantly by alcoholism within the family and have seen some very sad consequences; please stay strong, I am thinking of you. I also have some very simple advice - try and keep your nutrition levels up, take a supplement of some kind esp vit C; anything that gives you a little lift physically will help you mentally. Good luck.
xx

La Boheme I completely agree with you re nutrition.

BM Eat nice food, drink juice and eat more while you are drinking - pretend you are french and eat bread and cheese with your vodka.

And kick the terrible coke habit as a think that is part of the problem - it jus drives you on and adds to the shakes the next morning

Hello BrassicM, just popping in to wish you well for tonight and for tomorrow. Glad you had some good time with DS today. Your courage is inspiring and I just wish you out of this as soon as possible and feeling well again.

Lots of others on this thread (Imaginary Friend, Kokeshi and all the others who've shared their experiences so honestly) have made me feel better about my own past drinking. I've now recovered, but have NEVER had anyone to talk to about it whose been in the same situation - so it seems a very positive and helpful thread to me.

And the best result of all will be when BrassicM finds her feet again.