*^*^*^*^COPING WITH CANCER --- <<< SUPPORT THREAD >>> ^*^*^*^*^*

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

Hi,

i thought it might be a good idea to start one of these as its something that affects so many people and its just devestating. Hopefully we can support each other

This is a thread for anyone who is being affected by this awful disease, whether it is you, a family member or friend that is diagnosed feel free to come her and share how you feel, im sure as in true mumsnet spirit there will always be someone here to listen .

xxx kitty xxx

only just found this thread again - will email you Pavlov, thanks xx

minibar, I'm so sorry to hear about your aunty - it's a dreadful disease
my mum's recurrence wasn't really visible on the scan either - at the time they said she had some microscopic metastases. Unfortunately she ended up with an intestinal obstruction 2.5 weeks ago (a few days after the scan) and had to have a colostomy put in - apparently she is completely riddled with cancer, the surgeon said it was 'on many organs' . A week after that operation her intestines became blocked again and she had to have another surgery.

My db rang the oncologist yesterday - he thinks it is highly unlikely that the cancer will respond to the chemo and reckons my mum's got around 10 weeks left . She doesn't know yet, he thinks she is too weak to be told at the moment.

(pavlov - just emailed you but it's probably gone into the Spam folder [yahoo doesn't like my email address] so please check there)

geekgirl i am so sorry to hear your sad news.Wishing you strength to cope with it all

so sorry Geekgirl - my mum has been in remission for a year but it looks like the cnacer may be back. SHe ahs appointment at the Marsden tomorrow and will have a scan to confirm. I hope not - its been such a lovely year and she got to know DS who she wouldn't have met if the treatment hadn't worked. Such a sad and difficult ime for you.

geekgirl, I am so sorry to hear your sad news.
My own Mum passed away from ovarian cancer in 2004 and also went through the intestinal obstruction/ colostomy route. It is such an awful disease. My thoughts are with you.

cancer has affected me too my mum had ovarian cancer she was diagonsed in feb 03 and sadly lost her battle in feb this year she was so very brave also my dad was diagnosed in july 03 and sadly he lost his battle in sept 04 my mum was 51 and dad was 48 i have still not apceppted this as it dont seem real they have left 9 grandchildren in total this dont seem fair thye had so much more left to give .

i didnt even know what ovarian cancer was till me mum got it there is no suport in my area so i have had to deal with it on my own which is not easy i am still in denial it dont seem real

sorry to go on i havent been able to talk to anyone about it

geekgirl
my heart goes out to you please treasure every last moment with your mum i didnt have the chance as my sisters partner is a arse and i didnt get to say goodbye and i have to live with that for the rest of my life that hurts so much so please make sure you do and tell her you love her sorry i am cryin as i write this i havent cried since my mum went as i keep expectin her to ring me or ask if i want to go bingo....

i am thinkin of you please dont see it as a sad time see it as a blessin that you have about 10 weeks and make sure you do and say all the things you need to and then your mum will never have to suffer again she will no longer be in any pain

i was looking for this thread to see how people are getting on.

My DP is going through a cancer scare at the moment. He has a large tumour on his femur and suspected bone cancer. He is in such a mood at the moment and as hard as I try I can't bring him out of this depression. What am I supposed to say to him? He has a second biopsy tomorrow, which I think could only be good news, since they haven't found anything yet, but he seems to think he is at least going to lose his arm, because they've told him its in a tricky place to operate. He's only 28 and I know he has his whole life ahead of him, whatever happens. At least that is all I can bear to think right now. But he can only see the worst outcome. I wish the doctors could just tell us more, they've been rubbish. They didn't even tell him this lump was actually a tumour until he went to the first biopsy. I need some words of wisdom, I just feel so helpless....

I think its so hard pissfacegypsy to know what to say to someone in this situation. I think trying to keep busy, so your not thinking about cancer every moment. And also just been there when he wants to talk.
Ive just found this thread. My mum had breast cancer 13 years ago. Following scans for something else we found out a week ago that she now has ovarian cancer. There are signs of spread but we don't know what stage it's at. Next appt is Wednesday and we find out treatment plan. I had my first baby less than a year ago. I'm so close to both my parents and I've been in bits. I'm not sleeping well and just feel so low and sad. I can't believe this is happening. I know now its spread it can't be cured and I now feel there is a ticking time bomb.

Huggle, I'm so sorry about your mum. Thinking if you and your family in this difficult time. xxx

hello - am just waving from the Tamoxifen thread ! Am so sorry that so many people are going through this and the kindness and compassion of MNetters is amazing. Waving to pennies too !
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with secondary breast cancer (primary was 3 years ago, ironically just signed off by hospital in April) Am now half way through my first cycle of chemotherapy.

I have had previous experience of cancer in my family- my SIL had an aggressive bc aged 33 but is doing very well with no recurrence 7 years on; and my father made a good recovery from prostate cancer. Very sadly I lost my brother to cancer when he was only ten -something which I have only really got my head around many,many years later.

Pissface- sorry to hear about your dh but can I offer advice having been that person with mood swings on diagnosis.

Tell him to stay off google- advice not useful (out of date, Generic and often posted by desperate or loony). If GE must fret, get him to write a long list of questions for drs. I found that often allayed my fears.

Make sure he has some support lines - specialist nurse is best (they have seen it all before and can counsel or advise on all sorts of emotional , practical issues)

huggle so sorry to hear about your mum- my cousin is doing ok with advanced ovarian cAncer some years on but it had taken a lot of treatment incl ops. Hope news for you is good.

Waves at mas

Thank u pissface and gigondas.
Can I ask gigondas about ur cousin how is she doing with ovarian cancer, how many years since diagnosis and had the cancer spread when it was diagnosed? Totally understand if ur not able to answer these questions.
Maryann hope your chemo goes well.
And I second the staying away from google, it tends to increase anxiety.

waves back to Gig and thank you huggle I third that google isn't a good idea (though of course I google everything !) Love to all those worrying about loved ones x

huggles she is about 4 years off diagnosis- presented in a and e with bad constipation which turned out to be more sinister. Had op(s) to remove principal tumour and more since but not sure where and why. Plus 3 rounds (maybe 4) of chemo. Think spread was in stomach,lungs and bones at different points but it has responsed to chemo so a bit complex. Her initial prognosis was bad and shocked her- I am not sure they even gave her a time scale and certainly hinted wouldn't live a year.

Sorry If tmi but actually she is doing ok living with disease as lots of people do with advanced cancer, so there can be a less grim side to the bad news.

I would stay away from google , Macmillan , specialist websites and particularly the daily fail- all of these add to anxiety.

Thanks gigondas, it helps to just here other people's experiences of ovarian cancer.

My mum died three weeks ago. She was diagnosed traumatically a year ago and spent a week on a ventilator. She had recovered really well and we thought e had another couple of years. I can't really believe its happened, it's very surreal.