*^*^*^*^COPING WITH CANCER --- <<< SUPPORT THREAD >>> ^*^*^*^*^*

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

Hi,

i thought it might be a good idea to start one of these as its something that affects so many people and its just devestating. Hopefully we can support each other

This is a thread for anyone who is being affected by this awful disease, whether it is you, a family member or friend that is diagnosed feel free to come her and share how you feel, im sure as in true mumsnet spirit there will always be someone here to listen .

xxx kitty xxx

Yes, it would be a very frightening thing to do. I hope you have some support?

My dh would be supportive but the rest of my family are very much the bury-their-heads-in-the-sand-types so I'm not sure what would happen there - these are the things that would bother me and would need to be addressed before I went ahead and took any tests. I couldn't do it alone.

Kitty - Sorry to hear about your Mum. I had a mole removed a year ago (DD1 was 3, DD2 was 5months). The mole turned out to be malignant. Worst news of my life. I completely fell apart. Had to wait a week to see my consultant... longest week of my life. She reassured me a bit... said it had probably been caught in time. Had to have area around the mole removed to check that cancer hadn't spread. Waited an agonising 4 weeks for results, but thankfully hadn't spread. Now go to dermatologist every 3 months to have my other moles checked. Had another one removed before Christmas (benign) and one removed last week (fingers crossed...) Malignant melanoma is the worst type, but the prognosis is good if it's caught in time.
It's hard to live with the fear of it recurring, but I am lucky it was caught in time.

I know what you mean about being neurotic about the sun. My attitude has changed completely. In the past I sunbathed at every opportunity and used sunbeds. It makes me feel sick to think I brought about my own skin cancer, but I was naiive to the dangers.
I don't sit in the sun anymore, and wear SPF30.
I'm young to have had skin cancer, but am glad now that I'm checked regularly. It could save my life.
How did your mum's diagnosis come about? Was it a mole?
I hope her experience has as good an outcome as mine. Sending you (and your mum) big hugs xx

Thankyou sooo much for sharing that, im i n tears because its the first time anyoones said .. i had that, i had the agonising wait, but it was fine.

youve lifted a weight off my shoulders

she had a growth on her head

so you had melanoma/?

Yes mine was melanoma. I knew of noone who'd had it at the time. I could only think the worst. I was terrified I'd die and leave my children with no mummy. I'm ok about it all on the whole, but have jittery times, when I feel like a bit of a time-bomb waiting to go off (bloody sunbeds!!) but when I go for my check-ups the consultant is always reassuring, and tells me not to worry!
This bit will be the worst for you, waiting, but I have heard lots of positive stories about it since being diagnosed. x

i dont really know whats going on completely

but as far as i know, theres a skin cancer that doesnt spread, but melanoma does?

we dont kow hich she has,

im sooo sorry for asking all these questions and please dont answer them if you dont feel comfatable, its just ive been too scared to look things up on the internet as you cant choose to just read the positive stuff if you know what i mean?

Hello everyone. Can I join in? My mum has secondary breast cancer, its spread to her bones and a few other spots, so shes having chemo at the moment, its not the nicest. This time though shes not lost her hair and shes not feeling so sick either. Its nice to know other people are there who know how you feel. I must say though that www.cancerbacup.org.uk is a very useful site, you can find alsorts on there and they also run discussion forums.

hi bigcar,

welcome, sorry to hear about your mummy,

im glad shes feeling better this time round xxx

Sorry for delay Kitty. DD2 emptied the eggs out of the fridge onto the floor (broken) and when I went to clear up the mess my computer hibernated and I lost what I was writing.
Don't be afraid to ask/talk about it. I'll help if I can, although don't have all the answers.
I think that basal and squamous cell carcinoma are the other types and don't think they spread, although I'm really not sure. I know that malignant melanoma does spread (or rather, can, if left).
I wouldn't go on the internet. My dad looked things up for me, and it freaked us out. A lot of the info was incorrect or out of date. The hospital gave me a number to ring for support, so you could maybe try them? It's the Wessex Cancer Trust MARC's Line (melanoma and related cancers of the skin) 01722 415071.
Try not to worry. It's probably unnecessary and certainly won't help. Just remember, I had it and I'm still here I've got to go out now, but will be back later. I'll watch this thread.

Big hugs again xx

thanks again

I'm sorry too, to hear about everyone else's stories. No time to write more now, but love and hugs to you all xxx

Thanks for setting this thread up, much needed. sorry to hear all of your experiences, a common theme seems to be lack of info and the waiting around.
my Dh was DX with a brain tumour and MS 2 months ago, we are waiting for more info and another load of scans next month, we are very scared.

Onlyjoking, hope you get the info you need soon. Seems such a long time to wait.

right- news back from my lovely aunt.

biopsy was fine, however consulatant has seen something on her right breast that he is not to happy about and wants it removed within the next 3 weeks, he said had my other aunt not been diagnosed in jan with breast cancer, then he would probably leave it for 6 mths and see what happens, but because of my other aunt- he wants it out.
What a fab DR.

My aunt sounded so relieved on the phone, I am also relieved but still going to the dr's to see if its necessary for any tests.

Thanks for setting up this thread! My dad is starting radio therapy in April he is trying on his mask today to make sure it fits. This will be part of his treatment for non hodgkins lymphoma. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer about three years ago but is still all clear. My grandad died just before christmas from a 10 year battle with prostrate cancer. I think this thread will be a great source of support!

Sending lots of positive vibes to everyone today who is unfortunate enough to be going through this. This thread will become an excellent source of support at a very lonely and bewildering time. Well done Kitty.

Kitty - hope you've had a good day, and are feeling more positive.
Sweetheart - hope you get the result you want for your MIL.
Lizziemum - Sorry to hear about your dad. This must be a worrying time for you.
Blodwen - Hope you get good news from the specialist.
TiredEmma - Good news re your aunty!
Lilyloo and Runkid - sorry to hear your sad news. Lovely of you to come on here and give support to others.
Spud - You must be having a hard time, worrying about your dad. Hope you can enjoy the time you spend with him.
Dazie - Hope your dad's radiotherapy goes well, and isn't too hard for him.
Bigcar - Sorry to hear about your mum. Must be hard watching her go through chemo. Hope it does the trick.
Onlyjoking and LostinFrance - These days must seem so long for you and your families. My thoughts are with you.
I hope I haven't missed anyone out?!!
I agree with others... Well done Kitty, what a lovely thought.
Sending everyone good vibes.
Love and hugs xx

Hoping everyone is coping today.

Could do with some advice as it goes.

It is my dad who is ill, but today, after speaking to my mum on the phone, I am becoming increasingly worried about her.
She must be going through hell.

She has friends and a good support network but I wish there was more I could do to help her.
My dad is a grumpy bugger at the best of times but mum really is bearing the brunt of it all at the mo.

Any advice on supporting her?

hi spud masher,

i think its good to keep on the phone as much as you can, just ring her when the urge takes her and ask how she is before anything else, so she knows you are thinking of her,

could you send her some flowers? with a little card saying 'Mum you are wonderful and what you are doing for Dad is amazing, we all appreciate you more than you will ever know'

Maybe when you go down after easter you could make up some meals, freeze them and take them in a cool box, shephards pie, casseroles ect - because sometimes she my just feel worn down and to be able to just take some meals out and unfreeze them will really lighten the load?

how are you feeling today?

HTH

kitty xxx

lostinfrance macmillan have a support line ...

For more information and support for a family affected by cancer contact our Macmillan CancerLine by calling 0808 808 2020 or email [email protected]. Or check out our useful resources page for other sources of support.

what area are you in (france i assume? lol)

are you looking for an actual support group to meet up with other people for support?

lostinfrance and spud - Not sure, although would try what kitty said and try Macmillan. I know they were a help to my mum a few years ago when my grandad was ill. If they couldn't help directly, they'd point you in the direction of someone who can. xx