*^*^*^*^COPING WITH CANCER --- <<< SUPPORT THREAD >>> ^*^*^*^*^*

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

Hi,

i thought it might be a good idea to start one of these as its something that affects so many people and its just devestating. Hopefully we can support each other

This is a thread for anyone who is being affected by this awful disease, whether it is you, a family member or friend that is diagnosed feel free to come her and share how you feel, im sure as in true mumsnet spirit there will always be someone here to listen .

xxx kitty xxx

I keep looking at my dc and it just rips me apart that she won't see them grow up

ds is so little he probably won't even remember her when he's big

just an update.The results of brainand liver scan are clear but the cancer in chest has spread.She is to start chem soon( if she decides to have it}.Her son said that 4 weeks ago it was grade 1 now it is grade 4.I dont exactly understand what that will mean for her.i dont like to ask too deeply.i do know there will be no operation,she told me that herself.

sorry to hear your news mummylin, and for all of you who are going through these very difficult times x

My Dad died due to multiple brain tumours in May last year his tumours were not cancerous but after living with them for 7 years there became too many to remove and he finally died just 9 days after DS3 was born - my world was a mess through the different emotions i was feeling having a beautiful son and the grief of loosing my dad was sometimes too much to cope with but a year later it is getting better x

Big hugs to all of you xx

Sorry i came on here to support mummylin i didn't read the title properly and didn't realise it was a support thread i hope no one minds my post on here

Mummylin - I am sorry to read this.

Please God your friend will get through this.

Mummylin I am so sorry to hear this. It is so hard to know what on earth to say or do in situations like this isn't it. How old is her son ? Your friend will be in my thoughts.

Geekgirl, there's bugger all I can say to make this any better I know, but what about doing a memory box for your children of your Mum ? If you take lots of photos and make notes of things that you to together etc. Then he will have something to look back at and you can tell him all about her.

I'm now on tenterhooks waiting to hear about my friend's DH on Monday about whether they can operate. He's been told if they can't he has a year.

So for today unless we get another call about my MIL, I am going to try to switch off about this. My Dad (who was diagnosed with bowel cancer the same time as my MIL but is fine thank goodness) is coming down, so we are off strawberry picking and to a steam fair which DS will love tomorrow. My DH is having a well deserved lie in, we have a viewing on the house at 1pm but apart from that we are going to try to have some fun for a day or two (or I will completely lose the plot)

sparklesandwine - Your post was lovely. i don't think anyone would mind what you wrote. You were being supportive.
Big hugs and positive vibes to everyone going through difficult times.

I'm really glad I found this. My brother (aged 33) went into hospital in agonising pain three days ago. I've spent every day there since and feel like the world is another place. He has a very aggressive form of lymphoma and was started on chemo yesterday. I had to hold his hand as the nurses prepared his painkillers, waiting for what seemed for ever as he groaned and cried out with it, begging for morphine.

Now he's on a morphine drip but at 10pm last night, three hours after they put it in he was still in agony, asking for a higher dose. This is just the beginning, and he's got up to four months of treatment to go.

Sorry that I can't offer any support to anyone else. I'm just wondering how we're going to get him through.

just found this thread having been posting on my own thread about my MIL. She starts chemo a week on monday.

So sorry to hear all these stories. I'll be thinking of you all.

Only just seen this but what a good idea.

There seem to be an awful lot of us in need of a support thread

When my 28 year old friend had a double mastectomy last year, she said she always felt her cancer was harder on family and friends who had to watch her suffer than it was on herself. I'm not sure I agree but I do know it is terrible to see the people you love go through this.

{{hugs}} to everyone

saggers & Blondie79 - sorry you've been through the same thing. I also had counselling. The whole thing rocked my world completely and it is the reason why I went on to have DD2 so soon after DD1 was born (15 months between them) because I got this whole carpe diem thing.

I also had to have counselling because I was so messed up. I think about it every day and I am utterly hyper about my moles. The other day I inadvertantly got a tiny bit sunburnt and I was beside myself.

I don't know about the stats re. the possibilty of returns - I'm too scared to look into it (although my dermatologist said that in the 800 melanomas he's treated there have only been 12 recurrences and in the main there were genetic links as well, so I'm sticking with those small odds). I'm due to go back for my annual check in September where I hope I'll be discharged but to be honest I think I will just pay for my moles to be scanned and also go and see a dermatologist privately annually for peace of mind. I'm already very nervous about the appointment though. I"m thinking about it all the time and my scar seems to be quite itchy at the moment which I seriously hope is just my mind playing tricks on me as it looks the same and hasn't changed at all.

Totally agree with the perception of others, in that whilst it's gone, there's way more to it than that.

Sorry to go on - and also sorry to everyone else here who is having to cope with cancer - it's such a cruel disease.

Pennies - I know exactly how you feel. My dermatologist said it's really very rare for someone to have two melanomas. I do believe her, but also worry that I had one when I was relatively young (is 37 young?!) so there's plenty of time for another one to appear. Last time I went for my check up they said they would ordinarily discharge me at that point, but will keep me on for my piece of mind. My next check up is at the end of July, so of course I'm now starting to panic about my moles. I'm going camping in the South of France for three weeks, and all I can think about is how I'll manage to stay out of the sun. Did you have a wide local excision after yours was removed? And how long ago was it? Hope you don't mind me asking.
We just have to remember that, if we are unlucky and have a recurrence, that as long as it's caught in time we'll be ok.
x

Mummylin, tell me how your brother recovered from Hodgkins. My brother has that too (well, non-Hodgkins - I'm not sure of the difference). I do know that stage 4 is the most advanced stage though, which is where my brother is at. Have just heard from his girlfriend - three days into chemo and he's much weaker and more tired, seeing him later.

my brother wasactually in stage three whn he was ill,he was very ill and was in hospital a long time during that time he aslo had to remove his spleen.Eventually he was released from hospital but had to go back [cant remember wether it was weekly or fornightly ]for his chemo.He went in one day,stayed overnight and then could come home ,i have to say that also made him very ,very ill.Its so long ago now i cant remember it all,but i do remember for some reason he couldnt have things like gravy ! Anyway after his terrible ordeal and the terrific work from his cancer specialist,and everyone, he went on to fully recover,as i said before the only thing is that the chemo made him sterile as this was 30 years ago and it wasnt the thing to take and freeze the sperm. It was an awful time for him,He has to take 1 penicillin /antibiotic tablet a day for life now to compensate for his missing spleen.good luck ,i hope you have the same outcome for your brother as i did for mine.My brother was 23 at the time.

Do keep in mind that people can recover from this illness,so do try and stay positive ,i know its difficult.

MissM, I do hope your brother is doing better now. And it is good Mummylin to hear these positive stories. I hope my friend's DH will be one, they are removing the tumour so that's good news.

I hope no one minds me posting but I am struggling a bit this evening. It's 48 hours since the doctors with drew fluids etc from my MIL, so we are sitting here waiting. Trying to pretend to be normal for the children but what DH must be going through I can't imagine.

As soon as he hears he'll have to jump on a plane as they cremate them pretty fast in Spain. DD and DS have their last day at school tomorrow, then Saturday I am taking them up to the new place so DD can start school on Monday. I've got loads to do but seem to be in limbo waiting for the call about MIL

Hello all. Chocolateteapot how are things? My brother is a lot more like his old self, off the morphine now thank god. He's awake and able to walk up and down his room and make conversation for a while, even laugh and joke a bit. He's lost weight and is covered in bruises, but his blood is clotting now and the chemo is starting to work. We've also heard that he doesn't have Birkitt's lymphoma which is a very aggressive type, but does have another type (can't remember the name) which is less aggressive but less responsive to treatment. So it's a bloody catch-22. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when his girlfriend told me the news. I hate walking out of the hospital leaving him lying in that tiny room.

I hope everyone else is doing ok. This is a f*er of an illness isn't it. My emotions are changing literally from minute to minute.

I'm glad he is a bit better MissM, but can only imagine what you are all going through. You expect it from your parents to some extent don't you, but to a man your brother's age, it must be very difficult. I will keep my fingers crossed that he responds well to the treatment.

We still haven't heard about my MIL. It was DS's sports day and leaving nursery this morning. DH was alright, then his boss rang this afternoon asking how it was going and it made him really shaky. He's having a lie down and I'm hoping the children don't notice. DD has just had her final day as well so she's here as well now.

He tried ringing his brother and sister who are over there but no one is answering their mobiles so we're still in what feels like some kind of surreal kind of limbo. DD starts her new school on Monday and we are going up tomorrow afternoon so I need to try on focus on what to take with us.

I do have some good news though, my friend's DH had his tumour removed this morning. She hadn't heard when I saw her just now but hopefully all went well. His blood test results were good and it's all looking much much much more positive for him now

I'd lost track of this thread again - chocolateteapot, that FABULOUS news - hope it all went well.

it's all going to hell in a handbasket with my poor mum - she's now got a complete intestinal blockage
I feel so sorry for her - she hasn't eaten for over a week and is just skin & bones apparently. She's is petrified of having another operation. I don't know what will happen because any surgery would just be palliative anyway.

Can't believe she stayed at ours only 3 weeks ago and everything was completely normal then .

Geek - looking for you. Email me
[email protected]. You ok?

just to let you all know that the friend i was speaking about earlier in the thread has now been told she only has between 4 and 5 months to live.i heard this afternoon from her son.

Geekgirl I have been following your posts and wanted to say how sorry I am that your mum is going through this dreadful disease.
My darling aunty is also being treated for ovarian cancer - stage 3A. Her markers also went up after finishing her platinum chemo - 6 months ago. Scans are clear but the cancer is obviously back somewhere....she is now having more chemo.
We are just waiting and waiting and hoping that things will work out for her.
There's nothing else we can do - my thoughts are with everyone here on this thread who has a loved one with cancer - it's an absolutely terrible disease.

i have had another update from my friends son to say that they will be starting radio therapy this week and with this they hope to give her another month.Im not sure if that is already included in the 4 to 5 months already stated.Its just so sad for them all.

Wishing you all strength and fortitude.