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Original poster

*^*^*^*^COPING WITH CANCER --- <<< SUPPORT THREAD >>> ^*^*^*^*^*

220 replies

KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg · 26/03/2007 20:39

Hi,

i thought it might be a good idea to start one of these as its something that affects so many people and its just devestating. Hopefully we can support each other

This is a thread for anyone who is being affected by this awful disease, whether it is you, a family member or friend that is diagnosed feel free to come her and share how you feel, im sure as in true mumsnet spirit there will always be someone here to listen .

xxx kitty xxx

OP posts:
suedonim · 29/05/2007 14:24

Kitty, for you. I don't know if I've posted it already on this thread (it's v long!) but my sister had melanoma 17yrs ago. An innocuous looking spot on her arm turned out to be malignant. She had to have more surgery to remove a wider area around it.

A couple of years later she needed surgery to remove some lymph nodes from her arm and we were v worried indeed about her. But here we are, 14yrs later and she's had no more recurrences and was signed off from the specialist a long time ago. Best wishes to your mum.

spudmasher · 29/05/2007 19:52

Kitty, sorry I missed you earlier. I have regularly been checking this thread to see if there was any news from you.
Sorry to hear it is not plain sailing for your mum.

This is the way with cancer I am learning.
Give yourself time to adjust to news and take it in. Funnily enough I was talking to my mum about this today - how do people manage to listen and take in what they are being told in the consulting room?

I hope your strength returns soon so that you can support your mum. x

runkid · 29/05/2007 20:01

Kitty the news will have shocked you give yourself some time for the news to sink in hun.
Cancer is a roller coaster ride and plays havock with your emotions.
My thoughts are with you believe me i no how you are feeling x

Blondie79 · 29/05/2007 20:17

Kitty - I am sorry to hear that your mums cancer has returned, I ope they manage to get it once and for all this time.

I was diagnosed with skin cancer in November 2006 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Thankfully it was caught in the very early stages but I know that there is a chance that it could return and it hangs over me like a dark cloud. Like Runkid said cancer is like a rollercoaster and I will too be thinking about you and your mum and family. X

Pennies · 29/05/2007 20:36

Blondie79 - I had exactly the same thing too in Feb 2005. My DD1 was 4 months old at the time.

I feel constantly terrified that it will come back despite my dermatologist being very optimitsic that it was caught so early. He said it was OK to try for another baby as soon as the melanoma had been removed and I really don't think he'd have recommended that if there had been any risk.

There isn't a day when I don't think about it and I have a kind of radar for any reference to skin cancer - it seems any mention of it scares me silly.

How do you cope with it?

spudmasher · 29/05/2007 21:28

Kittylette are you there? How are you feeling this evening?

kittylette · 29/05/2007 21:31

hi,

thanks for all your messages ,

Im feeling OKish.

Just trying to get on as normal really.

It sounds really daft and cliche but if you keep busy then you dont think abbout it. harsh but if i do think about it then it all seems so dark and awful. and the worst senario plays in my head, you know what i mean, and i dont want that to happen to my mum

spudmasher · 29/05/2007 21:35

Not a cliche at all. It is only when you experience it you realise the true meaning of it.
You are sounding quite strong and like you don't want to dwell on things, so if I were you I would leave this thread for today and go off and find something distracting and silly to look at!

Just didn't want you to think I had forgotten about you.
I've got a lot of support from this thread you started - wanted to give a bit back.

Blondie79 · 30/05/2007 19:53

Pennies - I am currently in counselling as I did not cope very well and they think that I suffered from something similar to post traumatic stress. What made things worse for me was that a lot of my family and friends didn't really realise or acknowledge the seriousness of it. They just had the attitude "well its gone now so whats the problem?"

I try and just take each day as it comes and believe that all I can do is stay vigilant in regards to my skin. Obviously some days this is easier said than done but I cuddle my kids and they make me feel a whole heap better x

dandasmummy · 14/06/2007 10:41

Kitty - sorry to hear about your mum. I hope this op is the last one she'll need.

saggers · 16/06/2007 21:34

Blondie79 and Pennies.(I have posted on this thread previously as dandasmummy, but have just decided to use my real name- saves changing back just for this thread!) Sorry to hear about you both having had a melanoma, but relieved to hear what you both said. I was diagnosed in March 2006. DD1 was 3, DD2 was 5 months. Like you, it was caught early and hadn't spread. I had a wide local excision to make sure. I'm now checked every 3 months. My dermatologist is confident that I won't have a recurrence, but I still live in fear of it happening. My GP's referred me for therapy, as I can be so anxious about it. It's bloody scary isn't it? People don't seem to understand the implications of it, do they, and do say things like, "Well it's gone now." And yet the fear of it is with me every day.

geekgirl · 05/07/2007 20:08

just digging this thread out after such a long time - how is everyone doing? Kitty, sorry about your mum

It's shit news here too - my mum finished chemo for stage IIIc ovarian cancer 7 weeks ago and everything was great. They came to see us last weekend and it was so, so lovely. We're all looking forward to staying with them for 2 weeks in the summer.

Then today I ring her and she's just had a call from her GP to tell her that her tumour markers have gone right up and that he's arranged for her to have an emergency scan and appointment with the oncologist first thing tomorrow.

She's clinging to the very, very slim chance that this rise is some kind of fluke, but it's not likely. If the cancer is back then that's it, in a way. Once ovarian cancer recurs it is considered terminal.

Fecking cancer.

geekgirl · 06/07/2007 06:10

bump

geekgirl · 06/07/2007 13:31

I know I'm talking to myself here but I am so upset

my mum just rang me - they found metastases throughout her abdomen. She'll be starting palliative chemo on Monday

am in bits and got builder coming in 30 minutes and dd1's assembly at 3

mumblechum · 06/07/2007 13:38

Oh, geekgirl, I am so so sorry.

Can you get to see your mum soon? Have they any idea how long she has?

All you can really do is try to make the time as positive as possible.

mumblechum · 06/07/2007 14:01

bump for you.

munchie · 06/07/2007 14:11

So sorry to hear about your mom, big hugs to you both. I lost my mom to ovarian cancer in 1998 so I kinda know how you feel. Try and stay strong for her and look after yourself.
Hope you enjoyed your childrens assembly.

mummylin2495 · 06/07/2007 14:14

i am so sorry for all of you who are going through terrible and sad times.I have a friend who who is getting her results this afternoon,She knows she has a tumour on the lung ,but it is not attached to the chest wall,but today she will get the results to see if the disease has travelled to her liver and her brain.Please think of her too.

geekgirl · 06/07/2007 14:16

was due to go and see her in 3 weeks' time but I don't know what's going on now

but if she's having chemo then she probably won't feel up to having three small children in the house for 2 weeks - but then again she's really anxious to see them.

Apparently the chemo she'll have now gives you palpitations and other heart probs.

Doctors were shocked that it had come back so quickly and aggressively

geekgirl · 06/07/2007 14:19

sorry to hear about your mum munchie it's such an awful disease

mummylin, fingers crossed for your friend
xx

mummylin2495 · 06/07/2007 14:23

well i beleive that sometimes miracles can happen,I wrote earlier that my brother recovered from hodgkins,but for my friend apparently if tumour not attached it would be relatively easy to remove it .Its the other organs that she dosen know about till later.i will let yo know when i have heard from her son.

chocolateteapot · 06/07/2007 14:32

Geekgirl, I'm so sorry Could you take the children up and stay close to them but not with them, so she still gets to see them, but gets a bit of space as well ?

Not good news here I'm afraid. DH's mother had a massive stroke last night and we're on standby for him to jump on a plane (they are in Spain). He's been to say his final goodbyes 3 times already poor man.

The phone call from his Dad came this morning just as I was sitting on the sofa comforting a friend whose DH was diagnosed with a tumour on his kidney with possible secondaries on his lungs. They are waiting for the doctors to have a meeting on Monday as to whether his platelet levels are high enough for them to be able to consider surgery. They have an 8 year old DD in my DD's class

We're in the middle of moving as well and I feel completely under siege atm.

geekgirl · 06/07/2007 14:43

chocolateteapot, your poor dh his mum sounds very tough.

and so sorry about your friend - what a complete nightmare

chocolateteapot · 06/07/2007 14:55

She's like a pair of old boots bless her ! This isn't what she wanted at all. She saw her parents go through it and it was what she feared the most. I hope this doesn't sound horrible but I do hope this is the end for her now, she has been through far more than I can imagine.

She recovered her speech again a few weeks ago and one rang day. I found DH sitting on the bed chatting away to her and laughing, it was such a lovely sight as I thought I'd never see that again.

The sad thing is that she was a very absent and distance grandmother and regretted that. She wanted to come over and see the children and put it right, but hasn't had the chance to. Goodness knows how his Dad will survive without her, they have been together for nearly 60 years

I have to go and pick up DD in a minute and am steeling myself to pretend nothing has happened when I see my friend as she doesn't want anyone else to know yet. Sorry, this is all depressing and not what you need to hear at the moment

mummylin2495 · 06/07/2007 14:56

sorry chocolateteapot