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EATING DISORDER SUFFERERS.......

174 replies

lissielou · 08/03/2007 13:52

thought id start this thread coz there seem to be a few of us on here. ive been anorexic since i was little, started my first diet aged 6 and have struggled ever since. still have tumbles but getting a bit of control back now.

anyone else?

OP posts:
CountTo10 · 22/03/2007 20:57

not sure if anyone's about today but I just needed to ramble for a bit!! I've had such a week of it. Work is manic and I'm exhausted. DS hasn't been sleeping in the day and its totally worn me out to the point where yesterday i screamed at him I felt so awful as he was clearly shocked and then I burst into tears and said sorry so then looked like a total weirdo!! Last night he had nightmares which I totally blames myself for . My grandad got taken into hospital today and my mum is on her way back from Oz and doesn't know and work is still manic!!! I'm so stressed and I can physically feel it. To top it all off doc says I have IBS and need to stay clear from junk and right this moment that's all I want to do!!! I just popped into a shop for milk and all I could think of was oooo I could get a load of chocolates or a tub of ice cream and I feel like if I just sit and pig out on comfort food it will all go away. I know it won't though and it'll only mean I won't eat tomorrow. I'm proud to say that I didn't buy anything but the milk and that took soo much for me. Prob sounds really pathetic but I'm just finding it all so hard at the moment. There's so much going on and I feel like I've got no control again and that it's all getting on top of me and I know this is my worst time for being able to manage my ED. I just want it to all go away.

Hillary · 22/03/2007 21:37

Good evening CountTo10, Sorry you're feeling it this week, But hey look its Friday tomorrow well done for just buying milk see you are stronger than you think.

I'v had a bloody week of it too bloody poisoning form the dog drops been in hospital again today hooked up to yet more machines, need to see a lung specialist now. Never rains does it! I think us mums deserve a well earned break somewhere hot with a cocktail in one hand sitting on a lounger listening to the waves of the sea ...ah yes thats better

Hope you feel better tomorrow

h. x

steinermum · 22/03/2007 23:52

Countto ten - remember your MN name! Well done for just buying the milk when you were so tempted to get things that would have made you feel worse. Hang in there - this is a tough time and it WILL get better. Lots of love xx

Tatat · 23/03/2007 14:53

Hello all other ed folks
Need a bit of advice- this is a bit long so skip to the last paragraph if you'd rather not have to read my essay
I have been a compulsive eater for about 13 years, since I left home when I went to uni at 18. Didn't even realise until about 1 year ago when I suddenly thought about other stuff and relised that other problems in my life were related to the tissue of lies and deceit that go hand in hand with my secret pig outs.

At the time they are like a lovely dream- a bit hazy and exciting, and like giving yourself a lovely big hug. But then I'm left in my car- my location of preference!- feeling fat bloated greasy and full, with rubbish strewn all about me feeling so ashamed and disgusted about myself that I can barely look in the mirror.

Went to my gp, after dh persuaded me (following me bursting into tears and confessing all) who was v supportive, been seeing community mental helth nurse on and off for about 6 months.

V glad to have it under control, no binges now for about 4 months! Yay!

But what I'm struggling with is how to give myself that "hug" feeling again if I'm feeling a bit low/done something brill/feel a bit lonely/stressed out/exhilarated (i.e. anytime at all), has anyone else found something that works as that mental pick me up instead? Or do I just have to accept that the thing that made me feel momentarily better, which is so devastating, was the only thing that would ever make me feel that "hugged"? Sorry if I've not articulated this well, still a bit new to me really.

Tatat · 23/03/2007 14:55

Sorry Community Mental HEALTH Nurse

recoveringmum · 23/03/2007 16:08

way to go!! notttt easy to not binge for 4 months straight. you also must have been very courageous to tell your dh.

i really know what you mean about the 'hug' thing, especially when you are down, and i must say i don't know how to go about doing that. sometimes i will go shopping and buy something ridiculously expensive, or take a bath, or go get a manicure. those are all nice, but honestly dont work that well. (they're not real hugs i guess).

i'd also love some advice. being used to having an ed for me means when something makes me feel down i bring down everything else with it.

the best advice i can give you now is to try to do things that get you very relaxed, on a regular basis. that will help build up your inner strength and you wont feel the need for hugs as often. theres a website called www.justbewell.com they have relaxation cds you can listen to, inlcuding ones for eds.

recoveringmum · 23/03/2007 16:10

sorry got cut off.
i find that listening to those cds during the week when i go to sleep really helps me when i have those down times on the weekends. (when i'm not busy rushing from work to my dds and dh and back).

but it doesnt work if i am already in a down mood.

keep it up though because it sounds like your doing well

Littlefish · 23/03/2007 19:41

Hello everyone.

Just had a really quick read and wanted to come back with a purely practical message for Counttot10.

I have IBS too and was in hospital twice before I was diagnosed. I used to get great pain and bloating, but have discovered that if I take liquid aloe vera/gel every day, mixed with apple juice, I get almost no pain or bloating. If I can feel an attack coming on, or if I wake up feeling uncomfortable, I just take a double dose.

Littlefish · 23/03/2007 19:42

CountTo10 obviously!

recoveringmum · 23/03/2007 19:54

i like your name. my dad always use to say that to me when i was little and i wish i would have listened to him

steinermum · 23/03/2007 20:04

Hello all. In response to Tatat: you're doing great to have had 4 binge-free months. Make a list that you carry with you of things you can do instead of bingeing and also incorporate nice things into your daily life.

My 'treats' include : a nap, buying myself something nice, a bath, a beauty treatment, going to a bookshop.

When I was in the early stages of recovery it helped to sit and write everything down if I felt like bingeing. Other people might find coming on MN or phoning a close friend would work.

These are all fairly obvious things, but you need them at your fingertips when the urge to binge strikes, as it might, despite your great progress so far.

calebsmum · 25/03/2007 15:48

I've not eaten properly for 4 weeks now, everytime I see or smell food I feel sick. I just can't physically eat. I'm feeling tired, depressed and dizzy all the time. I've never had this problem with food, anyone else been through this?? I told my doctor but he said I didn't look underweight. Am waiting for an appointment with the mental health team for depression and anxiety. sorry for posting on here but I don't know what to do, I just want to sleep and not have to worry about food ever again. Most days am living on a banana and a complan drink

HillarysDancingInTheFairyField · 25/03/2007 18:03

Hi Calebsmum,

Welcome to our thread, Sorry you are feeling like this, has something happened that you are finding difficult to deal with at the moment? Well dont for going to your dr, unfortunatley gp's dont have much training in this field and are rather in the dark, just because you may not have lost alot of weight it doesnt mean you don't have a problem. You are tired and dizzy due to lack of calories which is probably caused by the depression. What has made you so depressed? We are all here for you please keep in touch

H. x

CountTo10 · 25/03/2007 21:34

Hi everyone, sorry haven't been on here for the past few days. Things seem to have started calming down a bit. Just taking each day at the mo as I defo feel like I'm near an episode as it were. Am going to speak to someone about getting some counselling as I think if I can root the issues out whilst they're live maybe I've got some chance in changing my behaviour and thought patterns. Such a slog. Just want to be free of it. Doesn't help that I have put on weight and I can feel it all the time but just want to comfort eat at the mo so just hanging in as it were!!! Haven't spoken to dp yet as a bit wary how he'll take it. He knows about my past issues but he thinks its all behind me. Better he knows though as its defo impacting on my relationship with ds which I hate.

Thanks for your posts - it does really help me to be so open with people who understand. If I talk to anyone else, I know they'd try and be there but I also know that they just wouldn't get it!!

Little fish - thanks for the tip - where can you get that gel, normal health food store?

CountTo10 · 25/03/2007 21:39

Calebsmum - sorry you're going through it at the moment, it's hard. I agree with Hilary in that gp's don't really know about this area and it's better to spk to someone who does. Once you start dealing with those in the know, you should find yourself feeling a little more supported. The fact that you've taken that step is fantastic as it is always half the battle! In the meantime, once you've not eaten for a while, it takes the body time to get used to food again and build up an appetite. That's also why you would feel sick etc at the mere whiff of food!!! If you can eat try and stick to small portions as you are of very neutral foods - like the bananas, rice - normal or the pudding variety, scrambled egg, soup, toast. This will help just get used to the nutrients rather than trying a full blown meal. Big hugs and hope today is a better day.

Hillary · 26/03/2007 23:16

How is everyone?

Just thought I'd do a quick post.

I've lost yet more weight after being poisoned and not being able to eat, I'm now a hairline over 6 stone quite odd really as the only thing i'v been able to control is now taken away too, breathing and eating has been difficult to do together IYKWIM and the smallest thing is like you have eaten a Christmas dinner with starter and pud, that cant breath feeling.

Every time I try and get better something stops me, I've said it before but its true.

Not little things either, its crazy!

recoveringmum · 27/03/2007 13:12

Hillary
I feel really awful for you i can't imagine how you must feel being poisoned but i really hope you get better soon.
have you complained to the company whose product you use?

it will really help you to get better if you try to think more positive. i know thats hard to do but maybe instead of telling and reminding yourself that something will always be in the way of getting better, try to think as positive as you can about how you will feel once you do manage to get yourself better.

hang in there and take it as easy as possible

Hillary · 27/03/2007 23:11

Hi there recoveringmum,

I do try and have a + attitude, really I do even going to a private clinic which cost thousands, I so want to do the Mile for Maude but dont honestly think I'm going to be able to walk it. Its my aim though to get better for it.

How is everyone? Thinking of you all .xx.

recoveringmum · 28/03/2007 21:29

Hi everyone i hope your all doing ok.

Hillary, was just checking, the more positive the faster will be your recovery/ sorry but i don't know what Mile for Maude is

I went to another NLP session yesterday. these things really save my life. i come out of those sessions feeling like my brain has had a deep tissue massage, and i can't stop smiling, and i laugh at everything throughout the day.

cross your fingers for me that the effect will last as long as possible ....

CountTo10 · 31/03/2007 22:57

Hey all.

Hillary, what you have to bear in mind is that you come out the other side of all these things that get in your way so rather than looking at them negatively, look at it as showing how much strength you've developed so that you can now get through them. You have to seperate. This poisoning is nothing to do with your ed or recovery but simply a horrible thing that has happened to you and once you are better from it, however long that might take, then you can look at your recovery plan again. Don't give up on yourself, you've worked very hard. I hope you are feeling a bit better.

CountTo10 · 31/03/2007 22:58

I have not spoken to my dp yet though he knows i'm unhappy about my weight and just gently talks about not noticing and maybe doing some exercise. I haven't eaten properly for 3 days now. Its not that I'm totally starving just not eating all my meals as I should be. I know its bad but i keep kidding myself that i feel better in myself which i don't. I defo need to book in the counselling before it gets worse, i'm already slipping into that alternative universe place where you pretend everything is ok but actually you're just isolating yourself and pushing people away. What I need to do is get a grip and then start a proper diet and exercise thing without getting obssessive - who am I kidding??!!!

Hilllary · 01/04/2007 23:59

Hi there CountTo10, how are you feeling today? I'm sorry you have been feeling like this recently, its such a battle all the time istn't it, at least you too have recognised it, please try and seek help before you get in too deep. Have you spoken to your DP yet?

Please keep in touch, I'm thinking of you x

kittypants · 02/04/2007 00:06

i had a ed for years but since having children try very hard to 'be normal'.i know ive effected how my eldest 2 eat by my relationship with food so am trying extra hard to be good with ds2.its nice to read other mums stories.

CountTo10 · 05/04/2007 20:58

Feeling a lot more positive. Had quite a busy week so I think that's kept my mind off it a bit. I'm going to speak to my gp next week about some counselling but I still haven't sat down and spoken to dp. Plan to do that his wend as he's not been in much this week. I do feel a bit more positive about myself but in general, I do think things are too up and down for me at the moment. One minute I'm high as a kite and hyper, pulce racing etc, the next I'm crying, really depressed and just want to lounge about and be on my own and not engage with anyone which when you have a child you just can't be like so I'm hoping the trip to the docs might help!!

flightattendant · 07/04/2007 16:59

Hi all, good to meet you. It's really interesting to read this thread, I don't know if this will be of interest to anyone but here is my story.
I'm 33 now and not exactly sure where I am with the eating - still sort of an issue, but not in the way it was.
When I was about 24 I began seriously losing weight after a near-lifetime of controlling my diet - started when I was about 7 and my mother went away for a week for the first time - totally innocuous, it was a summer school course - but there had been psychological problems from the start, as Mum had OCD and Dad was depressed...so it felt like a big deal. One evening Dad made dinner, I was due to perform in a concert, was nervous and threw up. The feeling of being so vulnerable without my mother, haunted me from then on and I associated eating with that fear.
I became vegetarian at 12 which helped me control my fear of food, so I ate well for a while (seemed 'safer' in its restrictions iyswim) and at 20, became vegan as well as a health food freak. I was obsessed.
What triggered the actual anorexia for me, was moving back to my parents' after trying to live far away, and feeling somehow that it was all a big bubble, which burst leaving me with a sense of falling - I felt too old to be at home again, they didn't want me hanging around, yet I'd no inner security, and needed them like a young child should - I was ashamed I felt this way and couldn't survive away from home.
I had two p/t jobs and was on a full time college course at this point, and suddenly it was all too much - I ran around busy 24/7, and never ate.
I was disappearing, physically and, I felt, emotionally - I didn't belong in the world as a kid or as an adult.
I lost a couple of stone very fast and descended into a life of isolation, for about 4 years. I ate sweets as I thought they'd help me stay alive (I wasn't trying to be thin, but afraid of eating as I dreaded feeling full, and needed always to feel that food was 'there for me' whenever I needed comfort - thus the avoidance of feeling full, as that made me panic - I hadn't enough room for my next 'fix' should I need it, and feared I'd make myself feel sick by overeating. I've always been terrified of being sick).
I had no appetite and constantly worried about how I could put on weight without making myself too full. It felt like a nightmare.
I had outpatient therapy at the Maudsley for a few weeks after I went down to 6 stone (I'm 5ft7) but didn't feel it did much.
Only by fighting it through in my head did I get anywhere. Realising that it was 'change your thinking/overcome the fear, or you're going to die' got through to my practical side, and I began to fight. I don't think anyone else could have helped me much, I needed to find the resources from within - though I didn't believe I had them.
Sort of internal CBT if you like! Something had to change. And gradually it did.
But during those four years, I had ruined my teeth with all the sugar, damaged my bones with having no periods, and despite my need for control and isolation, wish now I'd just had someone I could trust enough to allow to help me. Someone to point out that my thoughts were screwed up and explain how the body works - so I wasn't being ruled by my often unfounded, secret fears.
I hope this story helps someone.
I still struggle with depression and many other issues, but my weight has been stable and healthy for 5 years+ and no longer concerns me as it did. So I wanted to share whatever insight I have, just as proof that you can survive this.
Love to all,
Susie

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