Obese but with pretty normal legs / arms etc but very fat, enormous belly ***Ovarian cancer diagnosis - title edited by MNHQ at OP's request***

[TwitterQueen1]

Hi
I'd be glad of any advice or personal experiences here. I am around 4 stone overweight, so definitely obese. Most of it is on my stomach though, which now looks like I'm 11 months pregnant with triplets. I'm in my 50s so this is not a possibility. It's very painful and I am short of breath when I walk etc.

I've put on a lot of weight in a short period - 10lbs in 2 months.

Six months ago I was bodyboarding in the sea, walking every day and doing an exercise class every week. Now it's a struggle to do anything.

I'm having bloods done on Friday but any ideas / comments? Am I just unlucky to pile it all on in one place?

[gonegrey56]

!

[TwitterQueen1]

My brain is rubbish... I started cycle 5 today, not 4. 1st vein blew, 2nd vein proved problematic, involving lots of faffing around. I did my mindfulness exercises of picturing myself in my happy place (beach, sun, sand trickling through fingers, soft wind, waves lapping), and even if I say so myself, coped very well.

As part of my trial I have to complete a 'Quality of life' assessment at the beginning of every cycle. Mine hasn't moved much over this year - generally a 4.5-5 on a scale of 10. Social life severely impacted, fear of the future, can't have a dog, go line-dancing, socialise etc etc etc. It's an interesting exercise though.

DD3 finding it very hard away from home. Lots of tears. BUT she knows it will get better and that it's all part of the process. I miss her loads. DD2 goes on Friday - will miss her loads too.

I don't know why I'm living this life. It's not mine. It's not the life I want, or planned, or know how to deal with. I want my old life back. And my dog.

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Twitter sorry this disappeared from my Threads I’m on. It sucks. I wish you could have your old life and dog back too

I don’t have anything useful to say at all. Just sending a hug! Does DD1 live at home? I hope DD3 starts to feel better soon. Is she enjoying herself apart from being homesick?

[Itscurtainsforyou]

I'm sorry you're feeling downTQ. I'm betting I would feel the same.
Don't want to give trite advice such as "positive thinking!" as you're well within your rights to feel the way you do.

Fwiw I think you're remarkable and I am keeping everything crossed that once the latest series of chemo is completed you can start rebuilding your life, go line-dancing and have a dog.

In the meantime I'm sending you

[TwitterQueen1]

Thank you Leslie and curtains. Self-pity is not very attractive is it? But sometimes I just can't help it.

Anyway, today I did some gardening!!!! I was feeling pretty rubbish but instead of sitting on my bum I thought I'd try being more active and I think it's worked! I'm knackered but with frequent sit-downs on a garden chair I have managed to weed a small part of what I like to call my acer grove.

And Homebase were selling potentillas for 1.19 so I've bought 8 to fill in the gaps between acers (£1 each from Homebase last year). So I have a job to do tomorrow.

I think I need to try to break out of the ''I'm on chemo for cancer I can't do anything mindset." Easier said than done. I'm even more knackered, especially after after a busy week at work!

[gonegrey56]

I think you are entitled to a bit of self-pity after all you have been through. But you are coping so well, don't mean that to sound patronising, and you are further down the road of treatment with each day. I am not at all surprised that you are having low moments, you are having to deal with the reality of cancer on a daily basis and things will not be back to "normal" for a while yet. But planting flowers and plants is a great idea, and I hope the little sunshine of today will have cheered your mood. Don't exhaust yourself though.

I think you will need to start a new thread soon, there are lots of people who will be wanting to continue to wish you well and encourage and support you. We may be only a "virtual" community, but we are here for you.

Hope DD3 has survived freshers!

[TwitterQueen1]

Thank you so much gonegrey. Not patronising at all.

I have started a new thread here

In the space of a week, DD3 has progressed from going to bed every night at around 10pm to texting elder DSs at around 2am, saying "I'm back!" so I'm thinking she's settling in pretty well..... Apparently there's a nice 'spoons' (Wetherspoons) with a converted orangery nearby.

She has her 1st lecture tomorrow at 9.30am - Latin! which she's never done before. Nice wake-up call to studying...

[TwitterQueen1]

dear sisters, not DSs!

[flyright]

You're doing great with the things you're doing and also not hiding how tough it is. That's what's so good about here. You can be honest.