Obese but with pretty normal legs / arms etc but very fat, enormous belly ***Ovarian cancer diagnosis - title edited by MNHQ at OP's request***

[TwitterQueen1]

Hi
I'd be glad of any advice or personal experiences here. I am around 4 stone overweight, so definitely obese. Most of it is on my stomach though, which now looks like I'm 11 months pregnant with triplets. I'm in my 50s so this is not a possibility. It's very painful and I am short of breath when I walk etc.

I've put on a lot of weight in a short period - 10lbs in 2 months.

Six months ago I was bodyboarding in the sea, walking every day and doing an exercise class every week. Now it's a struggle to do anything.

I'm having bloods done on Friday but any ideas / comments? Am I just unlucky to pile it all on in one place?

[flyright]

You're doing great with the things you're doing and also not hiding how tough it is. That's what's so good about here. You can be honest.

[TwitterQueen1]

dear sisters, not DSs!

[TwitterQueen1]

Thank you so much gonegrey. Not patronising at all.

I have started a new thread here

In the space of a week, DD3 has progressed from going to bed every night at around 10pm to texting elder DSs at around 2am, saying "I'm back!" so I'm thinking she's settling in pretty well..... Apparently there's a nice 'spoons' (Wetherspoons) with a converted orangery nearby.

She has her 1st lecture tomorrow at 9.30am - Latin! which she's never done before. Nice wake-up call to studying...

[gonegrey56]

I think you are entitled to a bit of self-pity after all you have been through. But you are coping so well, don't mean that to sound patronising, and you are further down the road of treatment with each day. I am not at all surprised that you are having low moments, you are having to deal with the reality of cancer on a daily basis and things will not be back to "normal" for a while yet. But planting flowers and plants is a great idea, and I hope the little sunshine of today will have cheered your mood. Don't exhaust yourself though.

I think you will need to start a new thread soon, there are lots of people who will be wanting to continue to wish you well and encourage and support you. We may be only a "virtual" community, but we are here for you.

Hope DD3 has survived freshers!

[TwitterQueen1]

Thank you Leslie and curtains. Self-pity is not very attractive is it? But sometimes I just can't help it.

Anyway, today I did some gardening!!!! I was feeling pretty rubbish but instead of sitting on my bum I thought I'd try being more active and I think it's worked! I'm knackered but with frequent sit-downs on a garden chair I have managed to weed a small part of what I like to call my acer grove.

And Homebase were selling potentillas for 1.19 so I've bought 8 to fill in the gaps between acers (£1 each from Homebase last year). So I have a job to do tomorrow.

I think I need to try to break out of the ''I'm on chemo for cancer I can't do anything mindset." Easier said than done. I'm even more knackered, especially after after a busy week at work!

[Itscurtainsforyou]

I'm sorry you're feeling downTQ. I'm betting I would feel the same.
Don't want to give trite advice such as "positive thinking!" as you're well within your rights to feel the way you do.

Fwiw I think you're remarkable and I am keeping everything crossed that once the latest series of chemo is completed you can start rebuilding your life, go line-dancing and have a dog.

In the meantime I'm sending you

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Twitter sorry this disappeared from my Threads I’m on. It sucks. I wish you could have your old life and dog back too

I don’t have anything useful to say at all. Just sending a hug! Does DD1 live at home? I hope DD3 starts to feel better soon. Is she enjoying herself apart from being homesick?

[TwitterQueen1]

My brain is rubbish... I started cycle 5 today, not 4. 1st vein blew, 2nd vein proved problematic, involving lots of faffing around. I did my mindfulness exercises of picturing myself in my happy place (beach, sun, sand trickling through fingers, soft wind, waves lapping), and even if I say so myself, coped very well.

As part of my trial I have to complete a 'Quality of life' assessment at the beginning of every cycle. Mine hasn't moved much over this year - generally a 4.5-5 on a scale of 10. Social life severely impacted, fear of the future, can't have a dog, go line-dancing, socialise etc etc etc. It's an interesting exercise though.

DD3 finding it very hard away from home. Lots of tears. BUT she knows it will get better and that it's all part of the process. I miss her loads. DD2 goes on Friday - will miss her loads too.

I don't know why I'm living this life. It's not mine. It's not the life I want, or planned, or know how to deal with. I want my old life back. And my dog.

[gonegrey56]

!

[gonegrey56]

Gosh, so much on your plate, you are coping so brilliantly however. I howled all the way down the M1 after dropping off my dd at Uni 4 years ago. Then watched a box set for the next few weeks (Breaking Bad) to distract me from the quiet evenings...
Good luck with Consultant appointments, and thinking of you on Wednesday. As you say, get this year behind you and I'm sure things will turn a corner for next year.More [flowers}

[TwitterQueen1]

Thanks gonegrey. I'm feeling it now. In fact I'm crying now. I wasn't allowed to at the time and she shoved us out the door sharpish, which actually was just what I'd hoped for. But her room is empty and there won't be any toast and marmite smells in the morning. And she texted to say she wants a hug.

7 hours of driving has taken it out of me. Had to go the long way round coming back because of the awful crash on Saturday.

Consultant tomorrow, round 4 starts on Wed. Roll on 2018.

[gonegrey56]

Hope your dd has got off to Uni ok this weekend, and that you are not too flat after her departure. Emotionally draining time. Look after yourself

[gonegrey56]

Hi TQ
So pleased you are back at work, yet more steps forward . I was thinking of your youngest dd last weekend when I was visiting Exeter Uni, such a great place . She will have a fantastic time there.
Sending lots of good wishes to you and your family to you all after such a challenging summer

[TractorTedTed]

Glad you're able to feel a bit more 'normal' again.

How are you coping with side effects from the chemo? You sound pretty upbeat for the day after! I always thought that was when people started to feel dreadful.

Mind you, you seem a pretty tough cookie so I'm guessing you don't complain much even when you do feel awful.

[Popchyk]

Glad you are back at work TQ.

I'm hoping you won't need the chemo for too much longer. Many positive thoughts sent your way.

[TwitterQueen1]

you can tell i was trying to MN from the chemo ward yesterday! I think the Piriton kicked in and along with one-finger typing I clearly failed....

Yesterday was weird. I was the only person there until about 9.45 am and there must have been about 10 empty chairs all day. Never seen that before.

I'm dealing with the cannulation much better than previously [so far]. I still think it's better (for me) to have a few hours of it once a week than a permanent tube so I'm practising mindfulness as they find the right vein.

I'm enjoying being back at work - it's helping me feel 'normal' again.

[BigGreenOlives]

Hope that today went smoothly and you were seen promptly. for later

[TwitterQueen1]

Thank you hatesummer. I have to be honest and say it's been a terrible time and i''m not done yet. But I hope for better times.

[TwitterQueen1]

Thankyou hate summer. I have to say it's been an aw

[HateSummer]

Just read the whole thread. What a roller coaster! I'm so glad that you're recovering well. Wishing you the best of health and a lovely bright future

[TwitterQueen1]

There are 10 empty chairs on the chemo ward right now... Cannot believe it! Normally we are jam-packed. If only it could always be like this.

[TractorTedTed]

Glad the scan result is good news

[NeverTwerkNaked]

That's a really positive update TQ so pleased you are getting good news

[Amaried]

Great news on the scan result twitter.. honestly docs don't mince their words. If they are telling you they are no worried about it than they aren't.
Hopefully one more step closer to the end of your cancer journey!

[mustbemad71]

Checking in on you TQ - fab news about the scan results and great to be cracking on with chemo. Sending positive vibes and virtual cashews!