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Dh and update and greatful thanks

147 replies

Blandmum · 08/12/2006 10:50

I thought that I should post and say thank you to all the wonderful Mnetters who were involved in sending me the frozen food. It was so amazingly kind of you all, all the more so since I had been saying , no help, thanks

The food is in the freezer and will be a life saver on those days that we spend dashing round hospitals, seeing medics and waiting on medicines. And the MN foodies will be delighted to know that it is eve organic That did make me smile.

I don't know all of the people involved, but I do know that MI, Tamum, and Jimjams were all involved.....my profuse thanks and apologies to those of you involved who are unknown to me.

I won't pull any punches; this is the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with. DH is terribly thin, often in pain and vomiting. He has always been my true love and best friend, and I find it almost impossible to imagine life without him. If anything I love him even more now when I see him fight to make sure that the kids and I are financially 'sorted', that the garden is done, that people are told. He wants to die in a hospice so that the children don't have to see anything awful. How can you not love a man like that?

We have his care sorted out. The Macmillan nurses have met us, we have a care package set up with the GP, the Hospice will see us soon, I have support sorted out for the children, and for me after he dies. My school is being more than supportive. The RAF is doing all the right things. All of this is very hard to cope with, even though you know how important it will be.

But at the same time this has been a time of great joy. I am amazed by the kindness and goodness of people. Everyone has been so good to us, from the Macmillan nurse who looked me in the eye and said, 'We will control his symptoms so that he will live, and then die with dignity', to the lady who cleaned to ward and would tease him about tickling him with his duster, to my friends and family who don't know what to say, but say the right things anyway, and to the gentle kindness of women round Britain who I have never met.

I have always said that nothing is ever so bad that some good doesn't come out of it. This time has tested that theory to the utmost, but in the end I have to stand by what I said. This time has made me realise that people are good. Systems may suck, but people are at heart good and kind, and give each other support in the most awful of circumstances. And that thought will help me to cope 'the other side'.

This has to be the longest post I have ever made on MN, and I have even spell checked it . Thank you again for all your help. Have a wonderful Christmas and know that life, and people, are far more magnificent than we ever realise.

OP posts:
NAB3 · 08/12/2006 10:52

What a sad but so hopeful post. You sound like you have an amazing family and even though I don't know you or your story I felt I had to post to wish you all the best.

MascaraOHara · 08/12/2006 10:53

MB you have really made me well-up.. your post is so moving

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

TinselgalacticWalrus · 08/12/2006 10:53

You are amazing MB.

scatterbrain · 08/12/2006 10:54

mb- I haven't posted before - but have been following your story. You sound so brave, so stoic - I am in floods here for you - so very sorry you are having to go through this.

Words just can't express.......

Good Luck xxx

ParanoidAndroid · 08/12/2006 10:55

MB - I take my hat off to you. What a deeply meaningful post. Enjoy your time as a family in the support that is obviously around you.

WigWamBahhumbug · 08/12/2006 10:55

Such an amazing, dignified and beautiful post, MB. Your love for your dh shines through. You are all very much in my thoughts xx

PrincessPeaHead · 08/12/2006 10:55

Oh Martianbishop, I don't know what to say. I'm so so sorry, I hope you can make the most of the precious time that you all have together. Life is so unfair. Thinking of you.
xxx

ThrockenAroundTheChristmasTree · 08/12/2006 10:57

.

Keep those thoughts with you when times get tough.

IdrisTheRedNosedReindeer · 08/12/2006 10:57

That is a wonderful post martianbishop.

I am sitting here crying.

Thinking of you.

FiveGoldenFIMBOs · 08/12/2006 10:57

I echo the others MB and wish you all the best.

plumflumppudding · 08/12/2006 10:58

martianbishop...don't know what to say other than both you and your husband are two of the bravest people i've have ever heard of.I've read alot of your post's and the one thing that always strike's me is the amount of love that shines through when you talk about your Dh,and by saying in your post about him making sure that you and your Dc are looked after shows me it's the same for him too.Many of us are not that lucky to have love like that .
What your family are going through is one of the hardest things to face and your bravery,strength and love shines bright through it all.

Mine and my family's thoughts are with you.[hugs]

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel · 08/12/2006 10:59

MB, brilliantly put, as always.
I'm so glad you have plenty of support, and that everything is in place to make this time as positive as it can be.
Sending my thoughts and best wishes to you all.

Lucycat · 08/12/2006 11:00

Your eloquent post and the love you have for your dh reduces me to tears, you are an amazing woman and I'm proud to say that I 'virtually' know you.

thanks again for keeping us posted - it is much appreciated. Love to Mr mb.

jurathernothavesprouts · 08/12/2006 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loopylopey · 08/12/2006 11:02

I am in tears reading your post and wish you the best, you put my trivial worries in perspective. Good luck and enjoy your christmas together.

belgo · 08/12/2006 11:02

I can barely read your post without crying. You and your dh are in my thoughts and prayers.

HowSassilywondrousgiftisgivn · 08/12/2006 11:02

Your strength amazes me, MB.

You have responded with grace and dignity to the situation we all dread facing. It sounds as though you ARE facing it as well, rather than denying what will happen. You are a strong and remarkable couple.

macmiilan are fantastic, as are marie curie nurses if they become involved later. But you are right, so many people in this world are good, loving people who will do their best to help you in whatever way they can (this includes mn, of course).

Wishing love and strength - and a happy christmas - to you all. (One of my happiest xmases was 1998 when my mum was dying of cancer - she was 48 and died on 15th jan 1999 - the family just rested in her presence and enjoyed our time with her and each other. I pray for the same for you and yours this year.)

Sassy x

xena · 08/12/2006 11:03

MB- sending my love to you both xxx

GodRestYeMerryNORTHERNERs · 08/12/2006 11:03

MB, you are simply an amazing lady. Words fail me, but we are all thinking of you.

Take care of each other.
xxxxx

SherlockLGJ · 08/12/2006 11:04

Oh darling MB, take care and you know where we are.

I think of you all daily and tell your wonderful heathen I am praying for him.

God damn it, I am crying again.

The love and the prayers of the LGJ household are with you all.

XXXX

mears · 08/12/2006 11:06

What a wonderful post MB. Thinking of you and your family. mears x

batters · 08/12/2006 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pruni · 08/12/2006 11:10

Message withdrawn

andaSOAPBOXinapeartree · 08/12/2006 11:10

MB what a lovely post, even although it is searingly sad, it is full of human spirit - hats off to you girl

Of course, all of this goodness you are experiencing at the moment is no surprise - I am a great believer that what you sow you shall reap. You and your DH, from what I know of him through your posts here, are good, brave and kind people and so goodness, bravery and kindness will be yours in return.

I wish with all my heart that you weren't going through this incredibly painful time, and of course what will follow, but you are both an example to many of us of the importance of stopping still in our hurried lives and spending time with those who are dear to us

seb1 · 08/12/2006 11:10

My thoughts are with you. Wishing everyone in the MB house a peaceful Christmas.