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Original poster

Dh and update and greatful thanks

147 replies

Blandmum · 08/12/2006 10:50

I thought that I should post and say thank you to all the wonderful Mnetters who were involved in sending me the frozen food. It was so amazingly kind of you all, all the more so since I had been saying , no help, thanks

The food is in the freezer and will be a life saver on those days that we spend dashing round hospitals, seeing medics and waiting on medicines. And the MN foodies will be delighted to know that it is eve organic That did make me smile.

I don't know all of the people involved, but I do know that MI, Tamum, and Jimjams were all involved.....my profuse thanks and apologies to those of you involved who are unknown to me.

I won't pull any punches; this is the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with. DH is terribly thin, often in pain and vomiting. He has always been my true love and best friend, and I find it almost impossible to imagine life without him. If anything I love him even more now when I see him fight to make sure that the kids and I are financially 'sorted', that the garden is done, that people are told. He wants to die in a hospice so that the children don't have to see anything awful. How can you not love a man like that?

We have his care sorted out. The Macmillan nurses have met us, we have a care package set up with the GP, the Hospice will see us soon, I have support sorted out for the children, and for me after he dies. My school is being more than supportive. The RAF is doing all the right things. All of this is very hard to cope with, even though you know how important it will be.

But at the same time this has been a time of great joy. I am amazed by the kindness and goodness of people. Everyone has been so good to us, from the Macmillan nurse who looked me in the eye and said, 'We will control his symptoms so that he will live, and then die with dignity', to the lady who cleaned to ward and would tease him about tickling him with his duster, to my friends and family who don't know what to say, but say the right things anyway, and to the gentle kindness of women round Britain who I have never met.

I have always said that nothing is ever so bad that some good doesn't come out of it. This time has tested that theory to the utmost, but in the end I have to stand by what I said. This time has made me realise that people are good. Systems may suck, but people are at heart good and kind, and give each other support in the most awful of circumstances. And that thought will help me to cope 'the other side'.

This has to be the longest post I have ever made on MN, and I have even spell checked it . Thank you again for all your help. Have a wonderful Christmas and know that life, and people, are far more magnificent than we ever realise.

OP posts:

NbgSparklyYellowFeathers · 08/12/2006 21:11

Thinking of you all MB.
I hope you all have a lovely christmas together.
xxx

myrrhthamoo · 08/12/2006 21:14

Oi, mb - if we say you're brave and dignified and special and awe-inspiring then you are, OK ?

But you're right...there is a lot of good in the world and it's too easy to lose sight of that. Thank you.

StrawberrySnowflakes · 08/12/2006 21:20

cant speak after reading your Op..just my love and thoughts to you all.i just wish i could wrap my arms around you all and do something to helpxxx

Dottydotthehalls · 08/12/2006 21:22

xxxxx

VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/12/2006 00:00

MB - amazing. Courage and humility in the face of such heartache. I dont know what else to say that others havent said so very eloquently.

xxx

sallystrawberry · 09/12/2006 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam · 09/12/2006 00:11

MB your OP was the most touching thing I've ever read on MN. Bless you. Your love for dh was apparent on here long before this happened. I remember you posting about an open day they had at his base, when you and the dds got to see inside one of his planes and you were really impressed because it made you stop and think about what he actually did (as opposed to the day to day, yes dear, I'm sure an interesting thing did happen at work, now WHERE is that missing sock thing that I'm sure we all do. Well, I do.)

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 09/12/2006 00:13

mb... my heart is bleeding and soaring for you all at the same time, what a terrible and touching post... am very proud of you and your dh.

SnafuOutOfHiding · 09/12/2006 07:51

Won't repeat everything that's already been said here. Just wishing you, dh and the children much love and peace this Christmas, and beyond. xxx

Papillon · 09/12/2006 11:10

All the best martianbishop x

ScoobyDooTheyKnowItsChristmas · 09/12/2006 11:26

So sorry MB my thoughts are with you, your DH & your children at such a hard time

hoxtonchick · 09/12/2006 11:58

i am thinking of you all alot at the moment mb. i hope you all have a lovely christmas. xxx

MrsMaloryTowers · 09/12/2006 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cazzybabs · 09/12/2006 12:59

I am sat here crying too - I hope you, your ddh and your children manage to have an enjoyable Christmas.

PartridgeinaRustyBearTree · 09/12/2006 13:28

MB Like so many others I don't really know what to say, but I have to try, because ....well, I just do.
It's clear to see that along with the courage, dignity & all the rest that you won't allow us to praise you for, you have still kept your sense of humour, which is so much a part of you and, I think, your family life - and is what makes you such a great teacher. I hope this doesn't seem inappropriate, but I think what I'm trying to say is that it is part of your unquenchable spirit, which will help you, your DH & your DC through this time.
Love
Rustybear

Dingdongdebbsyandbibbyonhigh · 09/12/2006 13:42

truly sorry for your situation,you sound like one hell of a brave lady.I hope you and your family have many happy days and memories for the time ahead take care.Feel very humbled by this
(((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))

MrsWednesday · 09/12/2006 13:47

Have read your post several times and it's made me cry each time.

Your DH sounds like such a special man, and you have such grace, strength and courage in such a horrible situation.

Sending you all lots of love.x

ernest · 09/12/2006 14:14

MB, thanks for the update. Blimey, I bet there are few people who could read that post with a dry eye. Wishing yu and your family as peaceful a Christmas as possible, and all the strength in the world to deal with this. xxx

mymama · 10/12/2006 11:23

MB my thoughts are with you, your dh and your family. You sound like a wonderful family.

My father died from cancer when I was 9. I have only known MY experience of my father's death, but you are showing me how my father must have felt at that time. For the first time I realise how he must have felt trying to protect me from what was happening and planning for my future. I have tears running down my face thinking about it. Thank You.

Whizzz · 10/12/2006 11:28

MB - thankyou for that post & for reminding everyone how precious life is. My thoughts are with you & your family

fortyplus · 10/12/2006 11:40

What beautiful thoughts.

Two friends have been through this in the past few years. Although you will feel that the void can never be filled, because you have such a positive outlook you and your children will make a happy future in time.

One friend who lost his wife in 2000 married again and has recently had a wonderful baby daughter. His previous wife's parents came to the wedding and he made a beautiful speech that included a reference to the pain of losing her but how lucky he was to have found love a second time.

You will never 'get over' losing your wonderful dh, but you will gradually come to terms with it, even if you can't imagine it for some while yet.

Wishing you and your family all the best for Christmas, despite everything xxx

SantasFattymumma · 10/12/2006 11:49

what a beautifull, if emotional post.

I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now MB but pleae know that when the time comes, when words will fail, there will be some 60,000 shoulders here waiting for you to lean against

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