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Dh and update and greatful thanks

147 replies

Blandmum · 08/12/2006 10:50

I thought that I should post and say thank you to all the wonderful Mnetters who were involved in sending me the frozen food. It was so amazingly kind of you all, all the more so since I had been saying , no help, thanks

The food is in the freezer and will be a life saver on those days that we spend dashing round hospitals, seeing medics and waiting on medicines. And the MN foodies will be delighted to know that it is eve organic That did make me smile.

I don't know all of the people involved, but I do know that MI, Tamum, and Jimjams were all involved.....my profuse thanks and apologies to those of you involved who are unknown to me.

I won't pull any punches; this is the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with. DH is terribly thin, often in pain and vomiting. He has always been my true love and best friend, and I find it almost impossible to imagine life without him. If anything I love him even more now when I see him fight to make sure that the kids and I are financially 'sorted', that the garden is done, that people are told. He wants to die in a hospice so that the children don't have to see anything awful. How can you not love a man like that?

We have his care sorted out. The Macmillan nurses have met us, we have a care package set up with the GP, the Hospice will see us soon, I have support sorted out for the children, and for me after he dies. My school is being more than supportive. The RAF is doing all the right things. All of this is very hard to cope with, even though you know how important it will be.

But at the same time this has been a time of great joy. I am amazed by the kindness and goodness of people. Everyone has been so good to us, from the Macmillan nurse who looked me in the eye and said, 'We will control his symptoms so that he will live, and then die with dignity', to the lady who cleaned to ward and would tease him about tickling him with his duster, to my friends and family who don't know what to say, but say the right things anyway, and to the gentle kindness of women round Britain who I have never met.

I have always said that nothing is ever so bad that some good doesn't come out of it. This time has tested that theory to the utmost, but in the end I have to stand by what I said. This time has made me realise that people are good. Systems may suck, but people are at heart good and kind, and give each other support in the most awful of circumstances. And that thought will help me to cope 'the other side'.

This has to be the longest post I have ever made on MN, and I have even spell checked it . Thank you again for all your help. Have a wonderful Christmas and know that life, and people, are far more magnificent than we ever realise.

OP posts:
DingDongDraculaOnHigh · 08/12/2006 13:33

MB what a fantastic post. You are truly amazing, I only hope I could summon a fraction of your strength and dignity in a similar situation.

Thinking of you and hoping you can enjoy the time you have left. xx

winnie · 08/12/2006 13:42

MB, there is nothing I can say but I am so sorry. Thinking of you all {{{{{}}}}}}

numberwang · 08/12/2006 13:42

I echo what everyone else has said. Love to you all.

Beabea · 08/12/2006 13:44

MB I too havent posted before but have read some of the threads, Your post is very moving and has truly brought tears to my eyes. I wish you and your family the very best.

BudaBauble · 08/12/2006 13:46

More tears here in Budapest MB- an amazingly eloquent and moving post as others have said.

It is so so unfair that this is happening to you all. Words fail me I am afraid.

Just sending you strength and warm wishes.

Remember we are here whenever you need us.

fireflyxmasfairylights2 · 08/12/2006 13:48

Thinking of you & your wonderful Dh.. Your love is amazing.. I can't imagine what you are going through, but you are doing it so well {{{hugs}}}

notreallyhereDee · 08/12/2006 13:54

you are amazing mb, you really are. what a lvoely moving,sad post. and your sh sounds so lovely as well. in fact you all sound lovely. you are an inspiration to many.

Zog · 08/12/2006 13:59

What a fantastic post. Much love to you, your wonderful DH and children and I'm just so sorry you're having to face this .

motherinfurrierfestivefrock · 08/12/2006 17:22

Tamum's right
xxxxxxxxxx

Mercy · 08/12/2006 17:27

Martian, I just don't know what to say tbh. Your post is very moving.

I also echo Blu and Tamum's posts.

macwoozy · 08/12/2006 17:32

A very sad but truly remarkable post, my thoughts are with you.

Yorkiegirl · 08/12/2006 17:33

Message withdrawn

PollyLogos · 08/12/2006 18:08

Dear mb, In that very moving post you have shown once again what strength and love there is in your family.

Thinking of you all x

EmmyLou · 08/12/2006 18:14

MB That was a beautiful post. There can be wonderful moments in death, in amongst all the pain and heartache. You both deserve many.

LittleSarah · 08/12/2006 18:14

MB - What you and your family are going so is so immense, thank you for taking the time to tell us all how you are doing. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.

Chandra · 08/12/2006 18:24

I'm very glad to see you are getting so much support. Keep that strenght MB, I'm sure it will get you through all what is coming.

Thinking a lot of you all (and everyday)

The Chandra family.

DelGirlsRingAreYouListening · 08/12/2006 18:28

don't really know what to say MB but you are all often in my thoughts. Cherish every moment (((hugs)))

FioFio · 08/12/2006 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PTsender · 08/12/2006 18:41

What an amzing post MB, when so many of us would be thinking of ourselves you are still thinking of others, you and your Dh sound like the most amazing of couples and whilst i wouldn't wish this on anyone it seems especially sad that it is you two going through this.

Don't spend too long trying to imagine life without DH; that will come far too fast anyway. Don't wste your precious time on that, just make the most of each day as best you can.

foundintranslation · 08/12/2006 18:43

MB - there's nothing I can say apart from: Thinking of you. x

tortoiseBells · 08/12/2006 18:44

MB - you are an amazing person. I am so full of admiration for you, your dh and your children. Thinking of you lots. xxx

jajas · 08/12/2006 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 08/12/2006 18:49

Bless you Martian.
Ypu're damned right.
People are good.
Bloody good.

XXX

TheDivineLiliLaTigresse · 08/12/2006 18:54

Thinking of you, your dh and your children MB.
I never thought I would feel so much respect for someone I have never met in RL! And the kove you have for your husband is truly moving (especially as it has always come through in many of your posts in the past few years).
I wish you all the best Christmas possible.

TheDivineLiliLaTigresse · 08/12/2006 18:54

the love..
what is kove anyway.....