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Dh and update and greatful thanks

147 replies

Blandmum · 08/12/2006 10:50

I thought that I should post and say thank you to all the wonderful Mnetters who were involved in sending me the frozen food. It was so amazingly kind of you all, all the more so since I had been saying , no help, thanks

The food is in the freezer and will be a life saver on those days that we spend dashing round hospitals, seeing medics and waiting on medicines. And the MN foodies will be delighted to know that it is eve organic That did make me smile.

I don't know all of the people involved, but I do know that MI, Tamum, and Jimjams were all involved.....my profuse thanks and apologies to those of you involved who are unknown to me.

I won't pull any punches; this is the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with. DH is terribly thin, often in pain and vomiting. He has always been my true love and best friend, and I find it almost impossible to imagine life without him. If anything I love him even more now when I see him fight to make sure that the kids and I are financially 'sorted', that the garden is done, that people are told. He wants to die in a hospice so that the children don't have to see anything awful. How can you not love a man like that?

We have his care sorted out. The Macmillan nurses have met us, we have a care package set up with the GP, the Hospice will see us soon, I have support sorted out for the children, and for me after he dies. My school is being more than supportive. The RAF is doing all the right things. All of this is very hard to cope with, even though you know how important it will be.

But at the same time this has been a time of great joy. I am amazed by the kindness and goodness of people. Everyone has been so good to us, from the Macmillan nurse who looked me in the eye and said, 'We will control his symptoms so that he will live, and then die with dignity', to the lady who cleaned to ward and would tease him about tickling him with his duster, to my friends and family who don't know what to say, but say the right things anyway, and to the gentle kindness of women round Britain who I have never met.

I have always said that nothing is ever so bad that some good doesn't come out of it. This time has tested that theory to the utmost, but in the end I have to stand by what I said. This time has made me realise that people are good. Systems may suck, but people are at heart good and kind, and give each other support in the most awful of circumstances. And that thought will help me to cope 'the other side'.

This has to be the longest post I have ever made on MN, and I have even spell checked it . Thank you again for all your help. Have a wonderful Christmas and know that life, and people, are far more magnificent than we ever realise.

OP posts:
IWhoooooshYouamerryXmas · 08/12/2006 12:17

MB thank you for letting us know how you are getting on-there are hundreds,if not thousands of us here who think of you daily.
So pleased that the plans seem to be coming together to allow you to make the best of the time left with dh.

JackieNoHoHo · 08/12/2006 12:17

What an inspiring post - you're an amazing family. So terrible that you are having to go through all this. Will be thinking of you.

Carmenere · 08/12/2006 12:24

MartianBishop LGJ said the other day that your love for your dh jumps off the page in a way that is really special.

Love and prayers from me too x

BahHunkBug · 08/12/2006 12:26

Thinking of you all with much love, MB - what an incredibly moving post x x x x x

Bink · 08/12/2006 12:28

mb you are an inspiration - even now.

BethleCAM · 08/12/2006 12:32

MB, you're fab. I'm an aunt to 3 children who lost their Daddy (my brother) in similar circumstances 5 years ago. So I have a tiny inkling of what you're going through and I too learnt that life shows us meaningful things in unexpected situations.

noddyholder · 08/12/2006 12:35

What a lovely post and full of hope in a strange way.We will all face difficult times ahead but you are facing the hardest and sooner than you should have to Have a perfect christmas xx

iota · 08/12/2006 12:37

Another one in tears here.

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas

Take good care of yourselves

xxx

GlennCloseAsCruellaDeVille · 08/12/2006 12:40

thank you for your post

wishing you the best

xxx

zippitippitoes

Gingerbear · 08/12/2006 12:42

I am glad that you have been able to sort some things out now, and that your lovely DH has been thinking of the future for you. It will be so hard, but at least you will be in some way prepared.
My thoughts and love are with you all.
xx

JINGLEBELLgianbun · 08/12/2006 12:46

What an extraordinary woman you are! You dh and dcs are truly blessed to have you! I hope you all have an AMAZING Christmas together!

God bless
bb xx

northender · 08/12/2006 12:47

What an amazing OP mb. Am sitting at th computer with tears in my eyes. Just wish you dh and the children the most precious times together. Don't know you in RL but think of you often at the moment.

katierocket · 08/12/2006 12:48

MB - I've been on mumsnet for 5 years and I have never ever been moved to tears before. Your attitude is amazing and I'm humbled. Thinking of you.

jalopy · 08/12/2006 12:54

Dear MB, what a beautiful post. So glad that you have kept in touch. I'm another one who doesn't know you in RL but wished I did.

HeavenisInherwinterunderwear · 08/12/2006 12:57

MB a lovely post which has me in tears. I don't know how I would cope in your position my dh is also my solemate.

I wish you, dh and children well, and hope you get to enjoy as much time together as possible.

Much love.

tamum · 08/12/2006 13:06

Oh mb, what a stunning post. What can I add- it's all been said, so eloquently. I just want to say this- your dh comes alive in your posts, to all of us who don't know him. We feel we know him even though we've never met. This all sounds cliched and trite, but it's for a reason- your children will never forget him because of the years they've had with him as a wonderful father, but even their children, who will never meet him, will be able to feel they knew him because of your real gift for describing him. He is clearly a wonderful, wonderful man. And you, my dear, are a wonderful woman.
xxxxx

singersgirl · 08/12/2006 13:12

I hope you continue to find joy and kindness along with the sadness. Your words are very moving. I wish you and your wonderful DH and children a loving Christmas.

Monkeytrousers · 08/12/2006 13:14

Don't know what to say MB, just sending you my love. x

DonnerDasherDancerDior · 08/12/2006 13:16

What a wealth of love you must have in your family. As others have said, the respect and affection you have for your dh shines through in your postings and it is very moving.

We are all here for you. x

Pinkchampagne · 08/12/2006 13:18

Your post has moved me to tears too, MB. So sorry you are going through this.xxxx

Ilovestnicholas · 08/12/2006 13:21

It is so difficult to reply to such an eloquent and moving message.You have a real talent for writing and I hope that other people, as well as MN, can benefit from it. Wishing you and your beloved family strength and happiness.

Blu · 08/12/2006 13:23

MB - "How can you not love a man like that?"

Exactly - and through you, we sort of do.

I echo Tamum's wonderful post.

XXXXX

FLAMEinEckItsWiiDay · 08/12/2006 13:30

I dreamt about you last night MB - I don't remember the content, but I woke with this strange feeling that you were being watched and protected... reading your post made me feel that the MN food people and the MacMillan nurses were some of those people.

I think of you so often, and I have said before this happened to you that you are a source of inspiration to me - I feel it even more so now... yes you are "surviving", but you are surviving well. You are still able to see some good in the world.

My heart breaks for you.

kandi · 08/12/2006 13:31

I am in tears MB, you sound so strong, I admire you so much. All the love and best wishes in the world. Your children are lucky to have 2 such loving parents. I hope in later years when you look back at this time, that you are proud of yourself, the way you are really making the most of your precious time with dh for you and your children, because you really should be.

Stay strong and have a wonderful Christmas. xxx

shepherdswatchedtheirfLOCKETS · 08/12/2006 13:32

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