**Tamoxigang thread 51**... no more sangria, but maybe some mulled wine!

[MarthaCostello]

Hello all,

The old thread has nearly run out so I hope no one minds me making a new one. And am I allowed to mention the Big C... Christmas?! our last thread was started in July so I reckon this one might take us into December.

In honour of that, I will lay out some mulled wine, mince pies and I have wrapped myself in tinsel.

A warm welcome to jomidmum, but sorry you've had to join us. No one wants to be in this club, but this thread is a rather nice place to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op, and hoping the pain eases soon.

Massive hugs to beccajoh

A big yippee for Marshy, what utterly fantastic news.

Sitting on the paranoia box for ConsiderablyBiggerBuns, I hope your MRI results are good - when will you hear?

Waving and sending love to everyone else.

I wonder if seeing as we are on a new thread, it might be worth just giving a bit of history for new posters? I will put mine anyway, and then others can if they want to. I am coming up to two years since my bowel cancer diagnosis (grade 2, stage 3c, T2N2M0R0). I had major bowel surgery and six months of chemo.

Lactoferrin and curcumin - I think it's anyone's guess. The scientists know it works somehow but they haven't done testing on dosage levels, to my knowledge. I just buy a good supplement off places like Amazon or healthfood shops and trust the dose that it says on the label. My onc was very supportive of this - I checked first. As long as your own teams are also supportive (nearly everyone's medical regime is different), that's the best suggestion I have.

Becca, how are you today? Did you get seen yesterday & could they put your mind at rest? Huge hugs and virtual hand holding here whenever you need it, I am thinking of you and yours x

I am mid chemo fog today, just had a 3 hour nap. We're on half term hols at the seaside so I did get some sea air this morning at least & some fish & chips

Those asking about my veg juicing: as long as you pop an apple or some lemon & ginger in your concoction, even kale juice can be palatable! I just juice up whatever we have & knock it back

Hiya! Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Half term has just started here (sorry malt!) so I'm looking forward to having ds home all week even though his day tends to start around noon - he's 17 and it's his body clock apparently

I'm.feeling a bit yuck as my arthritis is playing up and I still have ovary pain even though there is no cyst, so what is that all about?

Just about to book flights to Marrakesh as we Skyped dd on Friday and although she is having a good time she is quite desperate to see us. It's lovely to be wanted even though she is a very grown up 19 now - how did that happen?!

Waving to all and special hug for becca - hope you are ok my darling.

wine congratulations on one year post chemo! I too am finding return to work exhausting. But my hair is still ridiculously short (and a dodgy ginger colour following home colour - not that there is anything wrong with ginger, but it was supposed to be golden brown).

checking in to see if any news from becca Hope you are ok.

Quite impressed with my friend who has DS today (aged 10) He and her son are out earning money helping the builders next door. Im impressed.

I am off on my first big holiday for years tomorrow. Just need to buy some industrial strength sun cream

Where are you off to foofoo? My hair is like a Brillo pad. I loathe it, but it's better than baldness!
Hope everyone is well!

wee am going to the Dominican Republic. My hair was just like a brillo pad, now its like a ginger brillo pad!

Hi all, sorry for going silent. I've been in hospital with no internet access. Back pain seems to have resolved itself, but on Friday afternoon I got REALLY sick, and DH called an ambulance at about 8pm as I was collapsed on the landing unable to move. Honestly it was like something off the TV. In the ambulance with the sirens on, blue lights etc, then met at the hospital by a trauma team, everyone doing something different to me. I must have been quite unwell looking back, as it was like scene from Casualty.

I had three nights in hospital, just home a couple of hours ago. I had a CT scan on Saturday morning and was sick in the scanner just after they injected the contrast dye. Oops.

Feeling quite a lot better. I've been sent home with anti sickness drugs, and they've stopped my chemo drugs for the time being. I've got an appointment with my consultant on Monday to discuss the CT results and what to do next. The registrar i saw today seemed quite pre-occupied with disease progression. Not sure what to make of it all really.

Gosh that sounds all very grim Becca. Glad your DH was on the case and called an ambulance. I hope your appointment next Monday goes well and makes everything a bit clearer.

Becca thanks for updating us, that must have been so scary. Glad you're feeling a bit better and hope you get a better idea on Monday as to what's next treatment wise.

Foo foo have a lovely time can we all come in your suitcase please ?

Good to hear from you becca and that you are back home. That does sound scary but good everyone was on the ball. Hope you are getting to chill out a bit now.

Foofoo the holiday sounds wonderful. Have a fantastic time

Hope you continue to feel better becca, what a scary time you've had.

Hope you have an amazing holiday foofoo.

I'm also at the brillo pad stage, planning on a trip to the hairdresser shortly - it's been far too long!

Like malt I'm also on facebook and would love to be able to put faces to names

Good to hear from you becca but that sounds like a scary experience.

Have a fab holiday Foo.

Poor you Becca, that sounds like a really rough time. Glad you are home now.

Becca what an awful time you've had. Glad to hear you're home but it's not nice being in that waiting zone again. Hope they can give you more of an idea what's going on.

Foo have a fabulous well deserved break, enjoy yourself!

Wine congrats on your anniversary. Life must seem very different now to how it was back then.

Marshy glad to hear you we got your flights booked, sounds like you'll all be pleased to see each other again

Elporto hope you're enjoying your half term break at the sea. Fingers crossed you've not had any worse symptoms this cycle and that you've been able to make the most of the good weather

Snowflake well done on getting through your first chemo and I hope you too aren't having too many side effects. Like you I tried the cold cap on my first cycle and hated it so never tried again. It didn't work on me anyway as my hair started falling out after a couple of weeks. I shaved it all off and now manage with just wigs.

So, my question today is does anyone know if you can get CBT type counselling during treatment? I've reached the point after 4 (out of 8) cycles where just hearing the word chemo makes me feel sick, walking on to the ward makes me feel sick, getting on the bus today with DD to have a girlie shopping trip made me feel sick (it's the same one I get up to the hospital). I've got a bit of a cold coming I think and my nose is stingy and snuffly and instantly I'm reminded of the effect of the 'C' drug going through the line and yep you've guessed it i feel sick at the thought. I need to break the association between treatment and feeling sick otherwise I don't think ill last till Christmas.

I've got a tough week next week with CT scan, ultrasound, blood test and oncology appt on the Tuesday (just bad timing of appts), first herceptin on the Wednesday (with 6 hours of monitoring afterwards) and the first of my 4 paclitaxol cycles on the Thursday. I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of all that time in the chemo unit......

Just re-read my post, I don't have any wigs, just scarves! As well as the nausea I'm definitely suffering from chemo brain!

Minty sorry everything is making you feel sick, it's not surprising but horrid. I don't know about the CBT I'm afraid, could you ask your GP? Half way through though that's great, I know it feels like a very long road and it is but you will get to the end of it

Thanks malt. The GP would probably be a good idea although I have an aversion to any more medical appointments right now!

Like everyone else who's gone through chemo I feel like I'm having to dig deep to get me through the second half of the regime. I'm absolutely dreading next week. After my last cycle, the SEs started within hours of treatment and pretty much went on for 10 days. Can't face going through that again although I've assured both on here and elsewhere that hopefully the nausea will be a little less with taxol. Fingers crossed.

Hope everyone else is enjoying half term and this wonderful weather. Oh and happy Halloween!!

Minty- know how you feel with the nausea. Although it didn't go away completely when I had docetaxol it did lessen and I didn't need to take the anti sickness drugs when I was at home. Because I felt sick just entering hospital they gave me some haliperidol (sp!) to try and stop my brain from triggering the feeling. Maybe that would be worth a try? As malt suggested the gp may be able to help with cbt, am afraid I don't know anything either.

I had my results yesterday from my op and was told it was the best news I could get- no microscopic evidence in either breast. The chemo treadmill did its job. Feeling very relieved and embarrassed myself by crying and made the surgeon cry too! Am still full of fluid though so they might drain me next week and then start filling up the expander.

Becca- hope you are continuing to feel better.
Snowflake and Elporto- hope the side effects are staying away.

Speedy that's fab news. So pleased for you. And I'm not surprised you cried. What a relief. It'll be exciting to start filling up the expanders.

Minty, sorry I haven't anything very useful to offer re the sickness except i would imagine that medicatuon, if it works, would be a more immediate solution than cbt. Hope you get sorted soon.

I've just been to see my BCN as I could feel a stitch sticking out of my new boob so she tweaked that out for me. All the other glue has come off so I'm just left with a scar now which looks ok and I know it will fade. I also asked her about going back to work. I'm just over 4 weeks post op and my sick note expires in 2 weeks but I still feel pretty wiped out. She said it was entirely reasonable to ask for an extension and even suggested not going back til after Christmas but I think that's pushing it. Maybe end Nov. I always feel awkward asking the gp for sick notes.

I'm getting the train into town to meet dh from work and we're going to a concert tonight. I'm not sure what it is, something classical, but I don't really care - it's out! Haven't had an evening out in ages.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend. This time last year I was in hospital recovering from my first mx. I remember me and a buddy taking a little walk down the ward with our bags of gore drains and doing a pretend trick or treat with the nurses. Better than any fancy dress! You have to laugh don't you .....

Marshy I love your take on Halloween! It made me laugh :). Enjoy your concert, what a lovely night out especially as you've got a great excuse to get out of the house. As to sick leave, I guess you need to take as much as you need, the last thing you want is to go back too soon and then have to take more time off to get back on your feet.

Speedy, that is fantastic news! So pleased for you :) you couldn't have asked for better news. Hope they can sort out the swelling so that you can get on with the expanders.

Thanks for the suggestion for the sickness drug. I didn't know that you could take something that deals with psychosomatic symptoms but I will definitely ask for it next week.

Out of interest, how are you getting on with herceptin? Are you finding there are any side effects? It would be good to get an idea of what to expect

Great news speedy! Have a lovely weekend x

Marshy, hope you had fun out tonight, that sounds like a lovely treat.

Becca, how are you doing? I've been thinking of you a lot and hope you get some more information soon about what's going on and can hold tight til then

Minty, it sounds like you are really going through the mill, and what a tough week next week. I don't have any advice on the nausea but I hope your onc team or GP might have some suggestions. I am also apprehensive about taxol but I understand that it's about 50/50 between people who find FEC worse and people who find T worse so there is a pretty good chance that the rubbish experience you are having now is not going to be repeated on taxol. I so so hope this is the case for you as your FEC SEs sound evil and you are more than due a break. 8 cycles is tough but you are halfway, and will have totally broken the back of it by the end of the year. My BCN told me to imagine having a glass of prosecco on New Year's Eve having done 5 out of 6 cycles, and that thought has sustained me through quite a few rubbish days already.

So I thought I had emerged from cycle 2 but I am actually still feeling pretty awful and it's day 10 today. It's not helped by the fact that it's half term and I've been at home with the DC who are both being pretty whiny, particularly when I just need to sit quietly and have a cup of tea for half an hour, you know how it is! Tomorrow I have a day to myself, and I hope to be feeling up to a gentle jog. This cycle has affected my mood a lot more, I have been really low, lots of crying and feeling sorry for myself about the state of my ridiculously broken body and shiny bald head ugh, having to draw on some pretty deep reserves of strength and humour at the moment.

Love to everyone else, hope everyone has nice weekend plans.

Thanks marshy and minty.

Am also thinking about getting back to work but am feeling so tired today after doing not a lot so not sure how I will manage! My boss has told me not to come back too quickly.

Am finding no problems with the Herceptin. The first time I had it was with the chemo so I did feel tired but since then it has been fine and now you only have to wait 15 mins before you can go(after the first 6 hour wait).

Hope you had a good evening out marshy

I'm finding this thread incredibly helpful in getting me through my treatment. Sending everyone positive vibes and BIG HUGS xx

Had my first AC session this morning. One down (not even going to think about how many to go). It was ok, new Portacath worked very well and I feel fine!!!!!!! Trying not to get too excited about this until I get through a few more days, especially in light of all this talk of sickness...

Also had gene test result back today which was negative for all screened. Obviously very pleased, especially regarding possible implications for my DD but can't help my mind going back over the (impossible) question of what caused all this?

Treats - that's exactly what we all need.

Happy Halloween!

Morning all
Speedy great news I'm really pleased for you, it's also reassuring for those of us that had the op first and so couldn't see the results of chemo that it does work worth all the side effects !

Elporto sorry you're feeling low I hope you manage that jog if that makes you feel better. I had a lot of v low times on chemo, it's not like me and it does pass x

Ssaver glad it went ok and that your gene results were clear. I also wonder what caused this, sometimes blame myself for being over weight, not exercising enough but I guess we will never know.

Becca thinking of you x

Hope everyone has a good weekend