**Tamoxigang thread 51**... no more sangria, but maybe some mulled wine!

[MarthaCostello]

Hello all,

The old thread has nearly run out so I hope no one minds me making a new one. And am I allowed to mention the Big C... Christmas?! our last thread was started in July so I reckon this one might take us into December.

In honour of that, I will lay out some mulled wine, mince pies and I have wrapped myself in tinsel.

A warm welcome to jomidmum, but sorry you've had to join us. No one wants to be in this club, but this thread is a rather nice place to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op, and hoping the pain eases soon.

Massive hugs to beccajoh

A big yippee for Marshy, what utterly fantastic news.

Sitting on the paranoia box for ConsiderablyBiggerBuns, I hope your MRI results are good - when will you hear?

Waving and sending love to everyone else.

I wonder if seeing as we are on a new thread, it might be worth just giving a bit of history for new posters? I will put mine anyway, and then others can if they want to. I am coming up to two years since my bowel cancer diagnosis (grade 2, stage 3c, T2N2M0R0). I had major bowel surgery and six months of chemo.

mrsrhod
There's no such thing as "cancer-lite". Whatever treatment you have cancer is traumatic and potentially life changing. I have had chemo but no surgery or rads because that was the treatment suitable for my cancer. Don't beat yourself up about it!

Mrs- don't think it's 'inappropriate to go on'. I feel this thread is so wonderful because we all can talk about any aspect, including the highs as well as the lows. I'm not there yet but a friend told me she found it hard when the treadmill had stopped and she wouldn't see anyone for a couple of months. I hope it's not long before you are thinking about it less.
I probably haven't said any of that very well.

Not inappropriate at all. I'm not jealous of you faring better than me (I'm genuinely delighted that you're doing well!). I'm jealous of people who live their lives in blissful ignorance of what we're unlucky enough to be dealing with.

I agree about this thread (when I was on it a lot 3 yrs ago anyway) being a real haven. You can come and ask what might seem daft questions, or just rant or scream, or just chat about things that you are distracting yourself with, and both laugh and cry with everyone else. Yes, including all the celebrations and 'good news' meetings, as well as the less so.

Thank you all, such kind words. I haven't looked at any other cancer forums because I feel so safe here. It's as if we almost know each other and everyone is so respectful of each others circumstances. A very special place indeed. I've been on mumsnet for years but I didn't realise it would provide me with such a lifeline.

Morning all

Had a lovely weekend away, fly home this evening hopefully as long as the weather doesn't disrupt things ! Then the rest of the week off for half term

Back for good that's great that you don't think about cancer all of the time any more, I was diagnosed last year and it's still on my mind constantly

Becca I'm glad you're feeling a bit brighter x

Agree about how special and supportive you all are. I've mostly lurked, but when I got up the courage to post, people were incredibly helpful.

I don't quite fit the model here as I'm a granny, age 64, and it's very different wanting to stick around for my grandkids than those of you with young children. My heart and admiration go out to you.

Also, my family is bi-national and I'm currently in the US. Diagnosed Jan 2013, grade 3, borderline stage 1/2, two lumps 2mm & 1.8 mm, invasive, mixed ductal/lobular, nodes clear. Chemo docetaxol last spring-summer, then rads finished Sept. Now on Arimidex, which I absolutely hate.

Obviously there's no NHS here, whilst I had quite good specialists, treatment was very fragmented, they pass you from breast surgeon to oncologist to radiation-oncology.

I was made redundant shortly before diagnosis so now trying to pick up the pieces of my life, also need to sell my house and will move to the city where one of my daughters lives. But as a cancer sufferer, I've really been quite lucky.

This is my good news week. I had a repeat pelvic scan this morning. Womb lining looked fine and she couldn't find the cyst that I had to have the ct scan for in August. She had to ask me which side it was! So that's a relief. I have a follow up appt with the gynaecologist in Jan and will need a further scan and ca125 blood test before that but in the meanwhile I'm reassured.

Just wondering why I've been having pelvic pain - clearly all in my head.

I had a proper shower this morning. First one since my mx 3 weeks ago. I have been showering my bottom half and strip washing the rest so hopefully not too unpleasant to be around. Shower was lovely. Small pleasures

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Hi ljny. Nice to hear from you. I hope your move goes well.

Good news Marshy. I am looking forward to a proper shower too but won't be quite yet. Totally agree with small pleasures.

I have just been taken into town to get my fourth bra in the pursuit of one that is comfortable. Luckily I could do a swap but originally started at 34d bra and now in 40dd! I don't quite fill the cup but the back had been so uncomfy on the size down. The wonderful specialist bra shop are also going to swap the first one I got by post so hopefully when swelling goes a bit I will fit into that one.

Just had a delivery of home cooked meals from a parent of children I taught- so so lovely .

Speedy I found the bra extenders useful.from m & s. I think they are about £5 for a pack of 3 and basically just allow you to have a bit more adjustment in the tightness of the bra band around your chest. At the moment I am wearing my usual.bra (34 D) with a bra extender to make it more comfortable around my ribs

Thanks marshy. I had to get new ones as all I had were wired and they need to do up at the front as no one here to help me get into them. I will look into getting some of those in a couple of weeks when I might be able to get into something else.

marshy great to hear you have had some more reassuring news.
speedy sorry to hear you are still in some pain (and you too wee). I had BMX, full node clearance but no reconstruction - side with node clearance definitely took longer to heal in terms if comfort. Couldn't sleep on my side for a few weeks, but wouldn't say I was actually in pain. Do ask someone - don't assume you should expect it.
mrs breast cancer is breast cancer and you should never belittle what you have been through. I'm glad you have been on this forum as you always take the time to be kind and supportive of everyone on here.
malt glad you had a good weekend away. I have just spent the day with my work colleagues, doing some voluntary work as a team building exercise. Hadn't seen a lot of them since chemo started in June. Blooming Knackered now but out with them this evening. Beginning to see that life will go on. Good feeling.

YY to bra expanders. V useful.

I was also lucky in that I was asked to trial some MX bras, all really nice and you get to keep them, so am well stocked for now.

Hi All!
Late to the introductions but I usually just lurk because I can never remember my password

I am originally from the UK, but like Ijny I now live across the sea with my DH and DD(9), although a bit further north, eh? I was diagnosed with stage IIIb grade 3 IDC on the last day of Feb 2013. It was all a bit of a shock as the lumps appeared literally overnight. They threw everything at it (chemo, MX+nodes and rads) and I finished the final treatment in April 2014 and am supposed to take tamoxifen for the next 10 years.

I worked through all of the treatment and coped fine with a lot of support from my awesome DH. In the last month or so though I think that the shock has caught up and I keep bursting into tears and collapsing in a heap. Just when I thought that I could put it all behind me and move on I can't get my head together. I started on anti-depressants today and I am hoping to stop regretting doing cancer treatment soon... I can't sort out if I want a reconstruction and when... I can't even get the spring bulbs planted in the garden because I can't imagine spring...

I know that there are some of you out there that have been through the "picking yourself up and moving on" phase. Any suggestions?

Good morning all, waves to speedy and marshy having lovely 'proper' showers, small pleasures but soooo delicious

It's very interesting reading everyone's journeys and seeing how much variety there is and what different things we are all coping with. We must never underestimate what we're going through and how well we are all doing, and I second everyone who says this thread is a lifeline, it has literally held me together in the last few months.

I am up stupidly early because I have my second round of FEC today and am feeling anxious. Saw the onc yesterday and she is pleased with how I am doing, won't see her again til cycle 4 as my SEs have been pretty minor and I am doing fine. But still not exactly looking forward to it! So I dolled myself up last night and went out with a friend which was great, & a lovely random woman at the train station told me I was looking nice which really made my day, almost made me cry, as I feel so visible and different with the headscarf on. Am enjoying the scarves but they do scream CANCER at everyone don't they...

OK, am off to make some tea and get moving, hope everyone has a good day today.

Thinking of you today elporto. Just imagine this one over and ticked off the list. You will be there soon. Hugs.

UK it sounds as if you have done fantastically well, especially working all the way through your treatment. Well done for starting the ADS. Do you have the option of some counselling as well?

Wishing everyone a good day

Best of luck today elporto, I hope the side effects are not too severe again this time and your treatment goes smoothly.

Marshy, so pleased to hear your continuing good news. Having a proper shower is boss snt it?

Buns, thank you.

Boss?? I meant bliss.

Elporto
I liked having a wig, when my hair went. It meant that no one who didn't know me, or know about the cancer, would think (and judge) that I might have cancer. In fact, at work, where people were only told if they asked, I kept being complimented on my new hair style and glowing complexion (chemo got rid of all that fluff/moustache/chin hairs!)
It is very strange to be complimented on how well you look when you are the most ill you have ever been!

Good luck today elporto. One more to tick off and glad your side effects are being kept to a minimum. I'm still waiting for my proper shower when all the dressings come off.

Drains out in a bit. Does it hurt?

Nice to hear from you uk. Hope you begin to feel better soon. I know what you mean about thinking ahead. Sometimes it feels too far. I seem to be going a couple of weeks at a time.

It's a weird sensation speedy. Not painful but squirmy. My advice would be to get comfy so you can relax and to breath slowly outwards through your lips as the nurse pulls. Bit like breathing through a contraction! You will feel fab when they are out though.

Morning all :)

Am back from a lovely weekend and waiting for my hairdresser. I'm like Lily and wore a wig throughout my hair loss, lots of people commented on how Id had my hair cut and no one realised it was a wig. I just wanted to be anonymous while shopping, out at night etc. Everyone is different though.

Elporto good luck with chemo today, like others have said it's another one to tick off :)

Speedy good luck with the drains, mine fell out so can't comment though didn't hurt as it came out !

UK sounding, I don't know the answer either but I do try to enjoy today and not think too far into the future, not always successful but even people who are fit and healthy don't know what the future holds. Plant the bulbs !

Am facebook friends with quite a few people on here, if anyone else wants to be friends send me a message

Thanks all. All out . One I didn't feel at all, the other was just slightly uncomfy. So much better now!

Malt- glad you had a great time away.

Hope everyone has a good day. I am going for a nap after lunch.

I had three drains in and one was THE most painful experience of my life (including childbirth), and the other two I didn't feel. Unfortunately the painful one was first out so I was super nervous for the other two coming out.

That doesn't sound much fun Becca!

I have just had two friends around bringing with them two hampers of food from work! Everyone brought in an item and they put it all together. Got a bit emotional and am now very stocked up on everything from soup to chocolates and biscuits!