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Original poster

Let smoking go..

366 replies

Lottelou · 02/08/2006 18:56

News of Allen Carr has jolted a few people!! Anyone out there wish to form a "Let smoking Go" club?

OP posts:
Pandorasjarboy · 06/08/2006 18:42

peanutbutter - doing this sort of thing is so individual, BUT the value of each other is immense - cruise around other threads here and you won't find the same consistency of care shown.....thanks...

IF - need to "clean out my closet" (Eminem,I think?) - post in a mo on consumption - see you shortly.

Could be the fresh oxygen to the brain, but feeling giddy again.....

milkbar · 06/08/2006 19:26

guys (!) and galls - well done on getting through the weekend. I your internal organs could talk they'd be thanking you. Stick with it..

Pandorasjarboy · 06/08/2006 21:31

rickman - try not to feel that way? I am very proud you see inspration in me, (and I see it in myself!)..but YOU have done it, for yourself, not me. It is YOUR life that has hope, despite it's difficulties. I am very happy in the thought of assisting you, and I do have that attachment with you. Please do not ever feel ashamed or guilt-ridden at coming here for what ever reason. This IS the most important thing we are doing right now. I know this, for me.

I could bang on endlessly about how good it feels to be free of nicotine...but it is early days, and you know it is there for the taking..so keep taking it!! Smoking really is shit, compared with what is possible without it. It does nothing for you, whatsoever, apart from inviting you to feel worse about yourself, and that, YOU can do without.

Pandorasjarboy · 06/08/2006 23:08

IF - hi you! And all..

For consumption, I know I did describe it yesterday (which feels a long time ago..) -what exactly triggered it all?

Nothing like a "Paul on the road to Demascus" thing..just a dislike of myself, I think. I can be tremendous in all sorts of ways, and carry it off despite being alcohol and nicotine dependent ....I can run 10km in 48 mins ( two weeks ago) and bench press an awful lot of weight, still fitting into 32" jeans and generally being as fit as a fiddle, but that was DESPITE what I was doing to my body... chair complex meetings, make decisions affecting alot of people's lives, receive pluadits for my work with abusers, supervise others, be accountable to others for my work...

but it was my emotions that were suffering most of all..avoiding time with my dd to catch a crafty fag..having a hang-over when i was being with her..feeling shit about that.. being the best I could be right then and there, which for her was great, she loves me, but not the best for me. I was "getting by"..

But "getting by" isn't enough.

I fell deeply in love with a woman who pedastalised me and wouldn't disagree with me at all, despite my protestations that she should do so!! And..that was ok for a while...she was a vodka drinker and also absolutely brilliant in her field..

but it fell apart in horrible circumstances - it was avoidable but she didn't see it that way...and we separated.( Easter this year,),I loved her, and not having her in my life was then too much too bear, for me.

Then came a sort of "loss" into horrible indulgence.

But I knew I was worth more than this..the consumption of fags and alcohol was at a level unsustainable for anyone...last weekend was the pinacle of my depths...3 bottles of wine, minus a bit for the cooking..and chain smoking for three days.

the turning point was recognising that I was being pathetic and just feeling sorry for myself...

and that I hated!! So, I said to myself, "stop feeling sorry for yourself! You have a life full of hope (see Pandora's jar as a for instance)" Don't do depressive things like booze and fag things..they just hurt in the short, medium and long term...

and that is where I am today...6 days without alcohol and 4 days with no fags..v. odd right now , but getting used to it..in a good way!!

Hoping anyone here can see the understanding in all of this....and I STILL need to chat about my little girl!!!

imaginaryfriend · 07/08/2006 09:54

Go on then ... tell us about your little girl!

Mine is nearly 4 and really the main reason I'd like to give up all my vices. She's getting freckles on her nose and under her eyes and she looks so beautiful and fresh and alive, never more so than at the moment. I feel as though my peering at her through hung-over eyes and nicotine breath just doesn't in any way feel ok.

Nanou1 · 07/08/2006 11:41

hi guys... can i join in.... scared to stop smoking. and scared to fail... when do you know you are mentally ready to stop? because i have heard that to stop you must understand that you will never ever have another one again... dh smoke too. we don't smoke inside the house nor in the car. dd 2.5 knows the word "fag"... how awful is that? feeling very and it is bloody ridiculous to need a cigarette esp when out in pub or when having friends around, i think it helps with my nerves or gives me something to do or confidence???!!! oh i don't know... anyway well done pandora btw

imaginaryfriend · 07/08/2006 12:28

How much do you smoke Nanou, and for how long?

I think there is a moment which seems Right to quit. I'm struggling to find it at the moment too ...

Nanou1 · 07/08/2006 12:50

almost 20 years.... these days??? never more than 10 a day ; good day 5 . bad day 15. i think... since i don't really count them... i just know that when i am at work i may have one at lunchtime and when i am not working a lot lot more... pathetic really!

charliecat · 07/08/2006 14:23

Read whyquit.com till its sinks in and you understand that its the only way to go

Pandorasjarboy · 07/08/2006 15:15

Hi all!!

CC! - still haven't got the courage to read past the bit about withdrawls on whyquit...the horror stories may be too close to home!!!

Hoping rickers is still with us???

And my girl...do I do it here or on a 'child development' thread? Centres on my concerns over her inter-personal skills, concentration, valuing belongings she has...unfortunately I can't get passed stage one with her mummy as she is in utter denial over it all...despite the glaring evidences!!

am on hols for two weeks, the first one with dd, so may be badgering you all even more!!

Pandorasjarboy · 07/08/2006 15:29

Nanou1 - like the booze, DO start counting them!!! IT really does help (well for me anyway_ to know exactly what you are doing...esp. for booze as drinkers do always unreport, even to themselves...

and please don't scare yourself over never having another fag...it really is one day at a time, and soon you won't be scared of anything about it....dh smoking could be a real problem, as you will appreciate.

charliecat · 07/08/2006 15:38

Ask on a seperate thread about you dd, more likely to get much more answers
Are you enjoying your hoiday off?
Theres lots of reading on whyquit on the talk boards...you dont have to join but theres TONS of reading....right hand side of the page i think ignoring sad storys of victims of the weed

Nanou1 · 07/08/2006 15:48

hi guys! thanks for that. busy at work but went to have a look at whyquit. i shall start counting you are right pandora . re your dd reckon you'll get more advice on another thread. oops boss coming.... catch up later x
ps: dh is the one who says we should stop. he has never tried but very determined when he has decided on something so reckon would be easier for him than me...

Pandorasjarboy · 07/08/2006 17:34

Just a few things I have noticed, almost 5 days in.....

  • don't wake thinking if I have fags left from the night before and asking if I need to go down to the shops

  • stopped being anxious about smoking, which would have led me to smoke..

  • not nipping out to the back door when I think dd is distracted (at mo is into Balamory as I write!)

  • not keeping a distance from her mummy when I drop her off, so she doesn't suspect me of smoking, and fearing if dd has been exposed to it.

  • not having to constantly checking my cash in pocket to ensure I can buy fags at any time..

  • not going to bed with an uncomfortableness, being physically ill at ease.

  • not finding drops of ash around..

  • not having to 'plan' fag stops when out.

  • not having to make inadequate 'jokes' about smoking to non-smokers

  • not having to check if my car smells, or there are cellophane bits from the packets are lying around...

  • not feeling sh*te when putting one to my mouth.

You ex-smokers MUST recognise these things? It's great, isn't it!!, and it is there waiting for everyone else!!

Hols are going great thanks - off to a working farm with dd today, and plans for each day of the week.

charliesmummy87 · 07/08/2006 20:26

hey everyone,
all u who r quitting right now, congrates, well done, i'm very proud. i quit 2 years ago after feeling like sh!t for a day realising this ment i couldn't and didn't want to smoke and told my dh to hid or get rid of the ones i had with me. for then i made myself not buy anymore, and started to hate smoking and smokers, focused on all the negative till i became very anti smoking, it helps to hate it.
i understand why ppl do, and how hard it is to stop but it is possible and it is worth the fight.
my friend doesn't help though she started up last year and offers me one, to relieve stress, i think its just to make her feels less guilty. her mum died 2 years ago from cancer and she refussed to stop which u think would have been enough to convince my friend not to start. oh well.
my dads family r smokers and its hard to tell them i want them to back off and respect that i dont want them smoking around me and definetly not my DS.
should smokers move away from non smokers or should non smokers avoid smokers?
should i have to move just so i can breathe clean air? or should they have the right to smoker where they r standing if u dont like it go else where?? any thoughts?

Pandorasjarboy · 07/08/2006 21:17

No doubt about it. People have right to not be open to horrible air when it is so avoidable....

did check out the bulletins on whyquit, CC. Very good to read.......I remain indebted to you.

Pandorasjarboy · 08/08/2006 07:45

morning all!!

not to be read over breakfasts...but am getting alot of phelgm build up ( sorry)...did expect this as I am assured it is my lungs and tubes unsettling the rubbish I have deposited on them.....would just prefer to not be around when it all comes out..but, that's not possible is it?....

my friend did pick up a 'givingupforgood' cd from the gp's surgery yesterday..it's a bit cheesy but it does support in endeavours as I can play it in the car as a filip, rather than 5-Live..

for those of you at work today...it must be horrid for you!!

off with dd and my sister's brood to a David Lloyd centre with an outdoor heated swimming pool (hurray!)

anyone else checking in???

Nanou1 · 08/08/2006 08:33

morning all. got in early today to print off the stuff from whyquit so that i can read it and get dh to read it too! talked with dh last night about stopping. thanks for all the testimonies it helps. i know it is the right way forward but am getting mentally ready for my new identity as a non smoker... this is quite ridiculous isn't? or ? feel it would be easier if dh would stop at the same time. anyway... off now to get on with my printing. have a good day all

charliecat · 08/08/2006 08:40

Naou, maybe its a good thing if dh doesnt stop at the same time as you. Its your own battle after all and if you were having a shit day you might end up hoping he was going to walk in from work having a shit day too so you could talk each other into going to the shop for fags.
I stopped before dp, about a yar and 2 months before him, it was slightly easier for him having a smoke free house to come home to, and SEEING that the impossible could be done, but then I found his contining smoking at home meant that I could cope with anything IYKWIM, i wasnt worried about going out to a pub as I had a permanent fag supply at home.

Nanou1 · 08/08/2006 08:42

good point charliecat!!!! will work on that one! you are absolutely right

Pandorasjarboy · 08/08/2006 08:45

Yes, Chaliecat IS great.

Pandorasjarboy · 08/08/2006 09:07

Nan, you are right - a new identity is exactly what it is, or rather a new self-identity - so pleased you are shfting your thinking in preparation.

And being ridiculous? So what....as I did say quoting Malcolm X, "by any means neccessary"..

happy printing......

Pandorasjarboy · 08/08/2006 09:07

Nan, you are right - a new identity is exactly what it is, or rather a new self-identity - so pleased you are shfting your thinking in preparation.

And being ridiculous? So what....as I did say quoting Malcolm X, "by any means neccessary"..

happy printing......

Nanou1 · 08/08/2006 09:18

thanks Pan! it's done, printed, binded and in bag to read on the way home tonight best get on with work now!!!

rickman · 08/08/2006 09:26

Message withdrawn