Tamoxigang New Year, New Thread, *46*

[BetsyBoop]

Hands round a for everyone.

Thank you, Wren. Gigs, not been able to read others' comments (head up own bottom syndrome - back to back and kids activities in between). I'll have a read now but I'm sending you hugs!

Wren, I hope that your new boob' sprinkles don't SMELL like Parmesan, too!

goodness just wanted to say Thank you for all the hand holding and support hat you gave me yesterday. Also to say good luck with your appt today. I hope it all goes well. I think once you have all the information, you will be able to start looking forward, and before you know it, all this will be over and you will be out the other side

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. I'm off for a coffee and chat with one friend who understands how I'm truly feeling. I have discovered over the last few weeks, that all those people who said they would be there IF I needed a chat to let off steam etc. Actually meant they are there on the days I am feeling upbeat and positive, but not so much on the bad days, because they don't know what to say! I'm starting to HATE 'friends' texting and asking how I am? When clearly they don't want the true answer!

At least I know I am safe on here, and even on my BAD days, there's always someone ready to listen and understand xxxxxxx

Hi Harriet, Another lumpy mummy here! I have a 6 year old, 3 year old and DD who is 5 month next week. I have breast cancer and am halfway through chemo with a bmx and radiotherapy to go. The ladies here are fab for info and handholding!

Hi Harriet and welcome. You must be in such shock at the minute I know I was at your stage, hugs. We will help you through it all. I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy in June, the op itself was fine and I had clear margins 1st time. My lump was 23mm so similar size to yours. I asked about having a mx instead and was told it was too drastic and there was no evidence that it would be any 'safer'

Really I think you do find out who your friends are with this. There are a few people I'm a bit disappointed with how little I hear from them though others who I didn't think I was so close to have been great. Enjoy your day

Goodness that does sound a hard recovery, I guess they are telling to worse case scenario though hopefully it won't be so bad x

Waves at everyone else, morning !

Had a lovely night out last night with dh slightly hungover this morning!

Hi Harriet, and welcome though sorry you find yourself here. I'm yet another lumpy mummy (DD 8yo, DS 6yo). I avoided the C word with my DC (DB, their beloved uncle, had died of bowel cancer 18months before my diagnosis, and we had been very open about this with them) and just talked about strong medicine (chemo), taking nasty lumps away (surgery) and being zapped by a magic machine(rads). Stick around and we will help you through this. Ask away with any questions, nothing is off limits here.(I was diagnosed with BC in May 13 and I'm almost at the end of my active treatment (only 4 more rads sessions to go, yippee!) although I don't escape completely as I'll be on hormone treatment for 10+ years yet.)

Hi Harriet, welcome, but sorry you find yourself here.

My bone ache has much improved. Still there, but much milder.
Chemo nurse followed up with me yesterday, and told me to ask my GP for stronger painkillers. I did, but since it's improved I haven't used them yet! (And he was so nice, just wrote out a script for me and I just had to pop into reception to collect it).
Can't remember who recommended walking around - but that is helping too. As is generally staying somewhat busy.
I have started tingle on my finger tips. Nothing very strong, but a very definite sensation.

But other than that, I feel perfectly fine.

Lots of tough times ahead.

really well done for getting through yesterday. I did think of you x your account of it all made me feel a bit tearful.

Hope kitkat is ok.

It is interesting which friends are helpful. I have 2 friends who have bee fantastic. One has come to nearly all my chemo sessions and was just amazing. 5th one was particularly tough and she still managed to make me laugh. I have also become v close to a friend undergoing similar treatment and we talk every day. I have never had a friend who I have spent so much time with before and I love it.

weebarra out treatment plan is the same but I am a little ahead of you

goodness your recovery plan sounds challenging. If it was me I would try not to think about it too much. Take each day as it comes.

Still lolling in bed at the moment.

Off to urinary pre op diagnostics
If tests are needed though, they have no appointments to offer before the op. as this consultant is going on leave
It's in London
I'm in Hertfordshire
Bet I have to drag myself into town on my own next week to sine one else
Asked secretary of consultant if with seeing this lady n she said to go
I'm already pissed off
Holy moly

Thanks so much for your warm welcome. I think i'll have to keep my tamoxigang sessions to post DCs bedtime as your lovely messages made me weep!! Fortunately they were too busy watching TV to notice!
Malteserzz we do sound very similar, that's really helpful for me. were your sentinals clear? have you had radiotherapy? the nurse explained that a mx would avoid radiotherapy but of all this stuff, the radio is what i know least about. how bad is it ?
goodness and weebarra and Bettyboop that's also veery comforting to know you've been lumpy mummies and it was fine. I was worried I'd be told to come clean. I talked to DS1 today about me needing another op at some point for another lump and he seemed ok about it. magic machine and strong meds are perfect. want to limit knowledge of what i'm going through to a few school gate friends incase other parents feel the need to be more honest with their DCs - i'd hate it to become playground chatter though i know really they only talk about football and starwars.
thanks all of you for your warm welcome and sorry you're all going through this too. Goodness, yesterday sounds awful for you. hugs.

Really, I know what you mean about not wanting to tell people again and again. I think that's what you said, anyway. My head is so full of emotion I can't remember anything I'm reading. Short term memory reduced to half of one my OWN sentences. Lol
What I've done sounds mad but means that when friends ask me to
'Keep in touch and let me know' etc. I don't have to worry about making them feel I don't want to because I've forgotten to / can't DEAL with the emotions that telling each person will entail.
I've made a secret Facebook group (cringe) for those people who have been texting, calling or asking how I am. Only those who aren't blabbermouths either! It's sooooo important to me that it's confidential. I'd be mortified to think that people who don't say hello (cliquey bitches) at school gate started to look my way with pity-stares. Inevitable. Won't be the for weeks, anyway soon. How on EARTH will I cope with taking them on my last day. I digress.
Anyway, all but 3 friends (don't 'do' FB, are too busy to look, etc.) have wanted to be on it. I've not asked everyone. I'm not going to be able to update those 3. It pissed me off actually as I do want to keep people up to date but when I speak, I burst out crying. but shows you how people are.
It's exhausting.
Guarantee the FB group friends get sick of me whinging. I may be the tiniest bit negative and moany at the best of times - with a wacky sense of humour though
I've written rules on the group:
Don't say 'it'll / you'll be fine.'
Don't say 'be positive'
Break the rules

And I've asked them to write PV when they think of me as the Physio has given me striiiict instructions on getting my pelvic floor in ship shape condition in ... 10 days. Too much information for you, but I currently wear a sanitary pad every day. Thought it was a childbirth thing.
Saying that, i splurged in a boden dress. It's BRIGHT orange. If you didn't know, you'd think... Silly cow - look at HER all dolled up. Lucky cow. Feel fantastic (on the outside).

Have to say, in order to not have to update people, and also as I have friends and family all over the place, I started a blog when I was diagnosed. Got some good feedback and lets people know whats happening without them having to ask.

Goodness a secret Facebook group is a great idea I know done others have done that too. Hope it all goes well today

Harriet unfortunately my sentinel node wasn't clear so I had to have node clearance after chemo but the good news was that all of my other nodes were clear I'm waiting to start radiotherapy now, my planning appointment is on Wednesday. Everyone assures me it's fine and nothing to worry about. I'm having 3 weeks worth but my friend who didn't need chemo had 5. You have to go every day Monday to Friday

OM fing gd it's posh here. I've never seen anything like it. Glass lifts. Amazing. Better than the poshest hotel I've ever been to!

Glad I dressed up. Lol

goodness - I did similar to keep people posted - I have a blog (for non-FB people) that auto posts to a secret FB group. I has really helped everyone I think. A number of people have said if they ever had to go through similar or support friends and family through similar they now have a much better understanding about what it's like. I is much better than having to keep saying the same thing over and over to different people.

harriet - after chemo (which hopefully you won't need, I think I can (with just 4 more sessions to go) safely say that rads is a doddle! It's just a bit tedious back and forth to the hospital every day (M-F) for either somewhere between 3-5 weeks, and you get a bit tired and a bit "sunburnt". Also there is no guarantee that you won't needs rads after a mx, if the tumour is close to the chest wall or skin (or in my case a large tumour) you will possibly still get rads. Numerous studies have shown that lumpectomy + rads is as safe as mx (for people suitable for a lumpectomy - I wasn't as I had a multifocal tumour, so mx was the only option for me).

Morning all,

Hello to harriet. It's rubbish having to go through this, isn't it, but you will find lots of info and support here. I had a mastectomy and immediate implant reconstruction. No chemo or rads for me as I had extensive high grade DCIS but no invasive cancer. The surgery isn't a walk in the park, but is very doable and I am happy with the results, two and a half months on. I feel for you being in the diagnosis and planning stage. I found that very hard to cope with, but it will get better once you are clear as to what is ahead of you, as anyone on here will tell you. Keep posting!

goodness things sound very tough for you at the moment. Do you have people in RL that you can offload to? I had 3 key people - DH, a close friend and my BCN. I could be completely honest with all of these and know that I would get something helpful back. They got me through it all. Some of your school mums sound less than helpful. I'm very glad i didn't have to deal with that. Chances are i would have told them all to sod off - I probably would now as feel less inclined to take shit from people!

Nice to hear you had a good time last night malt. The film was good, and I would recommend it as long as you don't mind lots of sex and drug-taking. I've heard people say that it glamorizes the subject matter, and i can see why that might be said, but i found some of it to be uncomfortable viewing, so not really glamorous from my pov. LdC is lush and there is an extended view of his naked arse which is entertaining, if you like that sort of thing

wren fingers crossed your exotic dressings are weaving their magic. It sounds like you are making a good recovery.

Thinking of kitkat, and love to all

Welcome Harriett - sorry you have to be here but we will all hold your hands whilst you are in the difficult waiting period.

Glad it went as well as it could for you yesterday Really - hopefully your last 2 cycles will be equally smooth and you can put last time behind you.

Wren - you're certainly getting some unusual treatment then - what a pain you have a would that won't heal though but as others have siad Gigs and HND are our resident experts in this area!!

wow Betsy last week of treatment next week . I was also diagnosed in May so although our treatment has been in a differnet order we have ended up finishing at the same time!! (I'm starting tamoxifen next week - also probably for 10 years).

and so from me (have also posted this in facebook) - am back from my Op - all straight forward except that the anaesthetist tried to butcher me and failed to get the cannula in my hand so had to use my arm instead.
'Real' boob is looking fab - exactly what i wanted - it doesn't really look any bigger but is no longer saggy and skin is lovely and smooth. I'm not so sure about the implant side though - it is way better than with the TE but although is the same size as the other one it looks higher and flatter - however both the BCN and the surgeon say this one will take a week or so to settle so fingers crossed that does happen. All in all it's still a better match than before and with decent underwear (in ill fitting sports bra at the moment) I'm sure no-one would be able to tell.
Diabetes took a big step back as they gave me steroids in the op (although to be fair I did have only half the usual dose as I warned them) so had a really high glucose level this morning - am gutted as was 10.1 yesterday and 17 today - hopefully though just 1 dose of the steroids will wear off quickly as it had taken me 6 weeks to get it down.

Great to hear from you kitkat and glad it went ok. Fingers crossed that your glucose level sorts itself out once you are no longer being messed about with. My implant boob is definitely less high now that it was immediately after the op, though still pleasingly perky, so im sure yours will settle a bit. Are you home now? No drains or anything?

Also, I'm getting pretty much no flushes on the tamoxifen now, so as always it's a case of hang in there and it gets better

Hi Marshy - glad to hear that your implant side did settle - how long did it take, was it just a gradual process over time. The other side is lovely and perky so it doesn't have to drop much I guess. (In fact the other side is so totally perfect that i love it already!!)

Good to hear you are not getting flushes - do you have periods or have they stopped? How long have you been taking it?
I've been having flushes since I started Tax (less now I've stopped) so I know I can cope but it would be lovely if they didn't get any worse.

yes a gradual.settling and not by a huge amount, but enough for me to notice (probably not anybody else) and just feels more comfortable.

I've been on the tamoxifen for 7 weeks I think. Have just had to order a repeat prescription for next week and I was given an initial 2 months supply. I was having periods up until Oct last year, albeit a bit erratic, and despite mirena and being in my 50s. Hadn't had much in the way of menopausal symptoms except occasionally a bit warm in bed. Flushes definitely stepped up with the tamoxifen, but I've realised in the last day or two that I haven't really had any for over a week, so fingers crossed.

So pleased things are working out for you. I hope I'm as delighted with my lifted boob when it happens. Are you going to have a nipple done?

Marking my place, saying hi. Welcome to Harriet, sorry you find yourself here, you will get lots of handholding and fabulous support here; I have found this invaluable and has propped me up when times have been tough.

Kit Kat, so glad to hear things have gone well for you and that you're happy with the result.

Well I have only one more chemo to go, cannot wait to get the last one out of the way. Already bored with my wig (and as Malt says fed up with having only one hairstyle). I think I'm starting to look forward a bit now as I'm so close to the end of chemo. The 5 weeks of rads to come don't phase me so much. Tax is giving me bone aches and night sweats (thus sleepless nights) but nothing I can't cope with. Just biding my time til this is over.....

Yes Marshy - I'm having a nipple 'made' - by 'bunching' the skin and then tattooed. The nipple can be done in 3 to 6 months time and then the tattooing after that. I thnk there is also a skin grafting option but my surgeon doesn't offer that and as my driver has been not to have any other scars etc. I wouldn't have gone for it anyway. What are you planning to have done (if anything)?
I had a small implant in my 'good' boob rather than a lift and I have to say the result is fantastic, it has the same lifting effect and fills it out as well - the implant side has also been increased from the original size. I don't think the increase will be noticable to anyone except me so all very natural.

Well done Handbags - you've whizzed through those chemos. 5 weeks of rads is a pain but the general feedback seems to be that it is inconvient but nothing like chemo.
I only wear my wig to go out now as I am bored with having to put it on (but still like the style) - I doubt I would wear it at all but my kids get traumatised!!

marshy - great to hear the tamoxifen seems to be settling down. So does mine :) I tend to have one fairly minor hot flush a few hours after taking it, which only lasts a few minutes.

Kitkat - Still no periods here since one very light one just before second chemo cycle. Yes I can't believe we are all but done, it seemed such a long journey at the start, but we got through it. Lily is done (for now at least - I think they where uming and ahing over rads?) Picture is nearly done too and Malt, you aren't far behind us :)

Hi all! Kitkat, really pleased that you're through that lot.

Harrietv, welcome from me too :-)
The good news, as you may have read from other posts, is that breast cancer treatment is very good indeed these days. At least 9 out of 10 of us will have a lifespan every bit as long as usual. If you have one smallish lump and nothing in nodes, that would certainly be true.
There's no real difference in odds between lumpectomy and mastectomy for most people. If your team have given you a choice, I'd double check odds with them before deciding. I had a lumpectomy for a 2.3cm lump right at the back of the breast, after chemo and before radiotherapy etc. Lumpectomy has left a dent and a bit of a scar but there's nothing noticeable unless I really look. If that helps.